The Times’ hometown favorite, New York University made a big showing with 172 (14%). The “West Coast” Ivy, Stanford, showed up only 48 times out of 1,223 announcements, as did the “Southern Ivy,” Duke, also with 48. MIT came in third at 47.
The least frequently appearing Ivy was the smallest, Dartmouth, appearing in 39 couples’ announcements (3%), but that’s still a very impressive showing when you consider that Rutgers University, a school almost ten times as large, boasting approximately 50,000 undergraduate and graduate students spread over three campuses (all of which are much closer to the backyard of the Times than Dartmouth), appeared only 24 times. By contrast Cornell appeared 91 times and Princeton 66. Brown had 41 mentions.
SOURCES: Book of Odds estimates based on an analysis of New York Times wedding announcements from June 14, 2009, to June 7, 2010. C Hoyt, “Love and Marriage, New York Times Style,” New York Times, July 12, 2009.
Making an Entrance
The odds a bride will arrive at her wedding in a stretch limo: 1 in 3.7
The odds she will arrive in a vintage or specialty car: 1 in 7.1
Horse and carriage? 1 in 50
SOURCE: TheKnot.com and Wedding Channel, “The Knot Unveils 2008 Real Wedding Survey Results,” April 8, 2009, http://www.xogroupinc.com/press-releases-home/2009-press-releases/2009-04-08-real-wedding-survey.aspx.
The odds a groom will be involved in the planning of the honeymoon: 1 in 1.8
SOURCE: David’s Bridal, “Bridal Authority’s ‘What’s On Brides’ Minds’ Survey Reveals Couples Tying the Knot Still Cutting Costs,” press release, January 25, 2010.
Wedding Time of Day
The odds a wedding will take place in the afternoon are 1 in 1.9.
The odds a wedding will take place in the evening are 1 in 3.2.
The odds a wedding will take place in the morning are 1 in 6.3.
SOURCE: Wedding Statistics, “All the Right Tunes,” www.alltherighttunes.com.
Where Weddings Take Place
The odds a wedding will take place at a church are 1 in 1.9.
The odds a wedding will take place outdoors are 1 in 2.9.
The odds a wedding will take place out of town are 1 in 5.
The odds a wedding will be a destination wedding are 1 in 10.
Where Receptions Take Place
The odds a wedding reception will take place at a banquet hall are 1 in 2.8.
The odds a wedding reception will take place at a hotel ballroom are 1 in 5.9.
The odds a wedding reception will take place at a country club are 1 in 6.3.
The odds a wedding reception will take place at a historic building are 1 in 9.1.
The odds a wedding reception will take place at a restaurant are 1 in 11.1.
SOURCE: Bridal Association of America, The Wedding Report, http://www.bridalassociationofamerica.com. “The Knot Unveils 2008 Real Wedding Survey Results,” April 8, 2009, http://www.xogroupinc.com/press-releases-home/2009-press-releases/2009-04-08-real-wedding-survey.aspx.
Getting Harder to Stay Married
Men and women who say “I do” today are less likely to reach significant anniversaries than couples from previous generations. The odds that a woman first married between 1955 and 1959 reached a tenth wedding anniversary are 1 in 1.2. For women first married in the 1990s, however, the likelihood dropped to 1 in 1.5.
Husbands and wives hoping to toast to twenty-five years of marriage face tougher odds. While 1 in 1.5 women first married between 1955 and 1959 reached a twenty-fifth anniversary, the odds for women first married between 1975 and 1979 were 1 in 2.2. And with marriage rates in the United States declining (1 in 133 total population in 2006 down from 1 in 102 in 1990), couples standing the test of time have all the more cause for celebration.
SOURCE: US Census Bureau, “Detailed Tables—Number, Timing and Duration of Marriages and Divorces: 2004,” http://www.census.gov/population/www/socdemo/marr-div/2004detailed_tables.html.
Honeymoon Dreams
Honeymoons still fulfill their traditional function of giving newlyweds a chance to flee the scene of their vows and spend a few days concentrating on having fun and getting used to being Mr. and Mrs. Newlyweds. Most trips are 5 to 7 days (1 in 2.6 couples choose this length) and cost between $3,000 and $4,999 (1 in 2.7).
If you’ve got your heart set on a Hawaiian honeymoon, better put down a deposit. Many brides-to-be (1 in 2.3) do their vacation planning between 3 and 6 months in advance, and nearly the same number (1 in 2.5) say Hawaii is their dream destination.
An article in the Journal of Family History reviewed articles on honeymoon destinations published in the popular press from 1880 to 1995. According to the authors, by the end of the twentieth century, a preference for primitive accommodations in the midst of natural grandeur (think a Niagara Falls motel or a cabin in Yosemite) had evolved to an emphasis on the luxurious and exotic. That means not only Maui and Kauai, but also Tahiti and Bora Bora—and 1 in 3.3 women says a few days in the South Pacific is exactly her notion of nuptial nirvana.
1 in 2.7 honeymooners opts for a domestic destination, but more (1 in 1.6) go abroad. Indeed, the romantic standby from the Gilded Age, the European bridal tour, still exerts a strong pull. There are still plenty of brides who dream of opening the curtains the morning after their wedding to see the canals of Venice (1 in 4.2 favors Italy), the columns of the Acropolis (1 in 5.8 settles on Greece), or the plazas of Madrid (1 in 31.3 opts for Spain). And for that matter, is there anything more romantic than a stroll through Paris? If you ask women headed for the altar and then the airport, 1 in 23.3 plan for a honeymoon in Paris.
SOURCES: K Bulcroft, R Bulcroft, L Smeins, H Cranage, “The Social Construction of the North American Honeymoon, 1880–1995,” Journal of Family History 2(4), October 1997: 462–490. MacNair Travel and Cruises, MacNair Travel & Cruises Honeymoon Trends Survey, Compiled Results, July 2006. About.com, “Wedding & Honeymoon Statistics,” http://honeymoons.about.com/cs/eurogen1/a/weddingstats.htm.
Cocktail Dress, Bikini, Sunblock, Passport
The odds a newly married couple will go on a cruise for their honeymoon are 1 in 10.
SOURCE: Wedding & Honeymoon Statistics [Internet]. About.com. [accessed May 18, 2010]. Available from: http://honeymoons.about.com/cs/eurogen1.
The odds a woman first married between 1955 and 1959 reached her 40th anniversary are 1 in 1.8. For women married during the next five-year period, the odds their union would last that long declined to 1 in 2.2.
SOURCE: US Census Bureau, Detailed Tables-Number, Timing and Duration of Marriages and Divorces: 2004, http://www.census.gov/population/www/socdemo/marrdiv/2004detailed_tables.html.
Why People Stay Married
The odds a married adult will report his or her marriage has lasted...
because of companionship: 1 in 1.4
because of deep love: 1 in 1.4
because both spouses want to live up to their commitment: 1 in 1.6
because of the children: 1 in 2.3
because of good sex: 1 in 2.4
because of religious beliefs: 1 in 3.3
for financial reasons: 1 in 5.9
because it is too much trouble to end the marriage: 1 in 8.3
SOURCE: “The Truth About American Marriage,” Parade Magazine, September 15, 2008.
Same-Sex Couples
The odds a same-sex couple lives in a state…
performing same-sex marriage1: 1 in 14.1
performing same-sex marriage and reports his/her partner as a spouse: 1 in 2.4
performing same-sex marriage and reports his/her partner as an unmarried partner: 1 in 1.7
recognizing domestic partnerships or civil unions2: 1 in 3.5
recognizing domestic partnerships or civil unions and reports his/her partner as a spouse: 1 in 3.5
recognizing domestic partnerships or civil unions and reports his/her partner as an unmarried partner: 1 in 1.4
SOURCE: D Lofquist, “Same-Sex Couple Ho
useholds,” American Community Survey Briefs, ACSBR/10–03, US Census Bureau, September 2011.
BUT THE SEX CAN GO DOWNHILL
The odds a man 45–49 will report that his partner is imaginative about sex are 1 in 3.3.
The odds a man 70 or older will report that his partner is imaginative about sex are 1 in 6.3.
Most people prefer marriage over the supposedly sexier single life (the odds are 1 in 1.3 compared to 1 in 5.6), but adults responding to an ABC poll reported that the quality of their sex lives does correlate negatively with the length of time they’ve been married. The odds a couple has sex at least several times a week worsen from 1 in 1.4 if they’ve been married for less than three years to 1 in 3.1 if they’ve been married for ten or more years. The odds they would label their sex lives as “very exciting” decrease from 1 in 1.7 to 1 in 3.5. There is some extrapolation in these assumptions—an expectation that those who report low sex rates are expressing low sex satisfaction as well. The responses, however, may alternatively reflect an equal tapering off of sex drives or already-low libidos for both partners.
SOURCES: LL Fisher, Sex, Romance, Relationships, AARP Survey of Midlife and Older Adults, American Association of Retired Persons, April 2010. “The American Sex Survey: A Peek Beneath the Sheets,” ABC News Primetime Live Poll, October 21, 2004, http://abcnews.go.com/images/Politics/959a1AmericanSexSurvey.pdf.
Sex Frequency in Marriage
The odds a married man 18–24 has vaginal intercourse 4 or more times per week are 1 in 4.8.
The odds a married man 25–29 has vaginal intercourse 4 or more times per week are 1 in 16.9.
The odds a married man 30–39 has vaginal intercourse 4 or more times per week are 1 in 17.2.
The odds a married man 40–49 has vaginal intercourse 4 or more times per week are 1 in 27.
The odds a married man 50–59 has vaginal intercourse 4 or more times per week are 1 in 90.9.
The odds a married man 60–69 has vaginal intercourse 4 or more times per week are 1 in 100.
The odds a married man 70–79 has vaginal intercourse 4 or more times per week are 1 in 125.
The odds a married man 18–24 has vaginal intercourse 2 or 3 times per week are 1 in 2.2.
The odds a married man 25–29 has vaginal intercourse 2 or 3 times per week are 1 in 2.7.
The odds a married man 30–39 has vaginal intercourse 2 or 3 times per week are 1 in 3.7.
The odds a married man 40–49 has vaginal intercourse 2 or 3 times per week are 1 in 5.
The odds a married man 50–59 has vaginal intercourse 2 or 3 times per week are 1 in 6.7.
The odds a married man 60–69 has vaginal intercourse 2 or 3 times per week are 1 in 10.5.
The odds a married man 70–79 has vaginal intercourse 2 or 3 times per week are 1 in 17.2.
The odds a married man 18–24 has vaginal intercourse a few times per month to weekly are 1 in 6.
The odds a married man 25–29 has vaginal intercourse a few times per month to weekly are 1 in 2.2.
The odds a married man 30–39 has vaginal intercourse a few times per month to weekly are 1 in 2.1.
The odds a married man 40–49 has vaginal intercourse a few times per month to weekly are 1 in 2.
The odds a married man 50–59 has vaginal intercourse a few times per month to weekly are 1 in 2.6.
The odds a married man 60–69 has vaginal intercourse a few times per month to weekly are 1 in 2.8.
The odds a married man 70–79 has vaginal intercourse a few times per month to weekly are 1 in 6.7.
The odds a married man 18–24 has vaginal intercourse a few times a year to monthly are 1 in 8.
The odds a married man 25–29 has vaginal intercourse a few times a year to monthly are 1 in 10.8.
The odds a married man 30–39 has vaginal intercourse a few times a year to monthly are 1 in 6.4.
The odds a married man 40–49 has vaginal intercourse a few times a year to monthly are 1 in 6.2.
The odds a married man 50–59 has vaginal intercourse a few times a year to monthly are 1 in 4.
The odds a married man 60–69 has vaginal intercourse a few times a year to monthly are 1 in 4.7.
The odds a married man 70–79 has vaginal intercourse a few times a year to monthly are 1 in 4.1.
The odds a married man 18–24 has not had vaginal intercourse in the past year are 1 in 23.8.
The odds a married man 25–29 has not had vaginal intercourse in the past year are 1 in 62.5.
The odds a married man 30–39 has not had vaginal intercourse in the past year are 1 in 22.2.
The odds a married man 40–49 has not had vaginal intercourse in the past year are 1 in 11.
The odds a married man 50–59 has not had vaginal intercourse in the past year are 1 in 4.9.
The odds a married man 60–69 has not had vaginal intercourse in the past year are 1 in 2.9.
The odds a married man 70–79 has not had vaginal intercourse in the past year are 1 in 1.8.
SOURCE: Book of Odds estimate based on M Reece, D Herbenick, V Shick, SA Sanders, B Dodge, JD Fortenberry, “Sexual Behaviors, Relationships, and Perceived Health Among Adult Men in the United States: Results from a National Probability Sample,” Journal of Sexual Medicine 7(Suppl 5), 2010: 291–304.
Taking a Young Husband?
He Could Be the Death of You.
The average bride is 2.3 years younger than her husband. This number jibes with a number of studies demonstrating that, on average, men prefer partners who are around three years younger than they are, and women prefer their men to be about three years older.
Currently, 1 in 1.7 married men is older than his spouse, compared to 1 in 5 women who are older. The odds are especially slim that a woman will marry a man significantly younger; only 1 in 43.5 married women is seven or more years older than her spouse, compared to 1 in 11.6 men.
And that could be a good thing. Few major studies have been done on the effect of age differences on mortality, but one relatively recent one published in the journal Demography used data from almost two million Danish couples over a fifteen-year period. Women who marry a man seven to nine years their junior increase their mortality risk in a year by 20% compared to women coupled with men the same age as they are. In fact, the study found that women who have any age difference from their mates, either younger or older, face a shortened life expectancy, although the degree is less dramatic for those who are younger than their husbands.
Here’s the topper: men who marry women seven to nine years younger than themselves decrease their own mortality risk by 11%.
SOURCES: PY Goodwin, WD Mosher, A Chandra, “Marriage and Cohabitation in the United States: A Statistical Portrait Based on Cycle 6 (2002) of the National Survey of Family Growth,” Vital and Health Statistics 23(28), 2010. US Census Bureau, America’s Families and Living Arrangements: 2009, http://www.census.gov/population/www/socdemo/hh-fam/cps2009.html. Max Planck Institute for Demographic Research, “Marriage and Life Expectancy.” Drefahl S, “How Does the Age Gap Between Partners Affect Their Survival?,” Demography, 47(2), May 2010: 313.
The odds a female victim of nonfatal partner violence was raped: 1 in 13.9
SOURCE: S Catalano, Intimate Partner Violence in the United States, Bureau of Justice Statistics, December 19, 2007.
Women Thinking of Leaving Husbands
The odds a married woman never thinks about leaving her husband 1 in 1.8
The odds a married woman occasionally thinks about leaving her husband 1 in 3.3
The odds a married woman often thinks about leaving her husband 1 in 10
The odds a married woman thinks about leaving her husband every day 1 in 25
SOURCE: “The Truth About American Marriage,” Parade Magazine, September 15, 2008.
Who’s the Guilty Party?
The odds an ever-married or cohabitating adult who cheated during the relationship did so with:
A friend 1 in 1.5
A neighbor 1 in 6.7
SOURCE: “The American Sex Survey: A Peek Beneath the Sheets,” ABC News Primetime Live Poll, October 21, 2004, http://abcnews.go.com/images/Politics/959a1AmericanSexSurvey.pdf.
Numbers Tell the Story
Midlife Crisis
A man, 45 or older, had an extracurricular sexual relationship. Through his own sense of guilt (or her private detective) the truth is revealed.
What happened next:
No effect on relationship 1 in 2.5
Tension but the relationship is okay 1 in 3.3
Lasting problems and lack of trust in the relationship 1 in 12.5
It ended the relationship or marriage 1 in 14.3
The relationship is stronger than ever 1 in 20
A woman, 45 or older, cheats on her partner. She is forced by her conscience (or his insistent suspicions) to confess.
What happened next:
No effect on relationship 1 in 4.2
Tension but the relationship is okay 1 in 2.5
Lasting problems and lack of trust in the relationship 1 in 4.6
It ended the relationship or marriage 1 in 25
The relationship is stronger than ever 1 in 10
SOURCE: LL Fisher, Sex, Romance, Relationships, AARP Survey of Midlife and Older Adults, American Association of Retired Persons, April 2010.
Domestic Abuse
Comparison of Odds by Gender for Mistreatment by Partner
SOURCE: Harris Interactive, “Over Thirty Million Adults Claim to Be Victims of Domestic Violence,” June 16, 2006.
Your Cheating Heart
The odds an ever-married or cohabitating adult who has not cheated during the relationship fantasizes about cheating: 1 in 3.3
The odds an ever-married or cohabitating man has cheated during the relationship: 1 in 4.8
Book of Odds Page 8