As a younger group starts crowding in on the bar, Logan leaves Brooks to enjoy himself while he heads back to his room. Logan lies in his bed and boots up his laptop, hoping to catch Avery as she’s getting ready for bed. He’s been debating telling her that he’s coming home early, but he has finally ruled that out and decided to surprise her instead.
Suddenly his black screen disappears and he’s met with the gorgeous face of his angel. She looks stunning, standing there in a soft pink robe, makeup removed from her face, and her hair twisted back.
“Hello, beautiful.”
“Hey, handsome. I was getting ready to take a shower, it was a rough day.”
“I know how to make your day better,” Logan responds with a wink.
Grinning, she replies, “Oh yeah, how’s that?”
“Take off that robe, go lie on the bed, and spread your legs. I want to see you touch yourself.”
She giggles and hesitates at first, then positions her laptop on the dresser. She does as Logan asks and arranges herself on the bed so that he can see her swollen folds and the pink tips of her breasts. His cock throbs against the fabric of his boxer briefs.
“Come on, babe. Slide your hands down your breasts and touch yourself. Pretend it’s my fingers feeling you,” Logan declares as he reaches down and grips himself, working his rough hand up and down his hardened shaft.
She follows his every command, writhing against her own hand as she calls out his name in release. Logan follows closely behind her, biting his lip as he comes all over his hip.
“Fuck, I wish I was there, baby.”
“Me, too. Not much longer, right?” she asks, her voice still dripping with sex.
“No, not much longer.”
It takes all he has to hide the fact that he’s coming home the next day. Logan can’t wait to see her look of surprise.
“Ok, well I need to clean up. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?”
“Sure thing. I miss you, Logan.”
“I miss you too.”
The next day Logan’s relief arrives around three in the afternoon; just after he finishes setting a broken arm due to a car crash. Logan waves to Brooks on his way out and eagerly jumps in his car, thrilled to head back to Carson.
It’s around six when he arrives home and since it is Thursday, he expects to find Avery just getting home from the office.
As Logan opens the door he doesn’t think twice about the smell of spaghetti wafting through the air or the candles lit around the house. No, his attention is drawn to the man’s jacket draped over his couch. A jacket he recognizes.
Rage builds quickly in his gut and he has to work hard not to explode: losing his temper would make him no better than the man that called himself his father. But as he walks around the corner into the kitchen his desire to tamp down his rage evaporates. The feelings of betrayal, hatred, and broken trust erupt from his chest. Images of Shannon run through his mind.
“What the fuck is going on here?” Logan shouts, his hands gripping the back of one barstool, turning his knuckles white.
Before him Avery stands beside the table, leaning over, bringing her chest at eye level to the man she’s entertaining. At his outburst, Avery stands quickly, practically falling over herself as she turns around startled. Austin pushes back from the table and puts his hands up as if surrendering.
Too fucking late for that!
“Logan, you’re home. I wasn’t expec…”
Cutting her off, Logan bellows, “I can see that you weren’t expecting me.” Pacing from the kitchen, he runs his hands through his hair, completely tormented by the vision of Avery and Austin. “God, how long did you wait? You’re all the fucking same - liars and cheats. I should have known all along.”
Logan can see the tears building in Avery’s eyes, but his anger is so overpowering that he can’t stop himself from spewing hatred.
“Logan, I…” she exclaims as she cries out his name.
“Was I not enough for you? What more did you want from me?”
Austin goes to stand beside Avery, but smartly she steps away from him.
“Logan,” he says loud enough to override Logan’s temper, “it’s not what you think.”
“Sure it’s not. You fuck everything with two legs anyway, so you needed to add my girlfriend to your list. Both of you get the hell out of my house.”
Logan turns to walk away, ready to toss everything of Avery’s out of his bedroom. As he closes the bedroom door he can hear Austin console Avery and his heart breaks even more. Logan loves her more than anything, far more than Shannon, and he was ready to marry her. No, Avery tore out his heart and disintegrated it in her palm.
He sits on the end of his bed, unable to touch a single thing of Avery’s, petrified of how he’ll feel if he removes her completely from his life. Instead, Logan sits and thinks.
Why would she do this to me? I thought we had something special, something remarkable, something people search their entire lives for. How was I so wrong? We’re just one more statistic, one more break-up on a long list of break-ups.
Logan hears Avery’s car exit the driveway and then the front door closing, followed by boot-laden footsteps on his hardwood floors. A knock on his bedroom door startles him, but he makes no move to answer.
“You completely fucked this up. That girl loves you more than anything and you completely threw her away.”
Logan continues to sit in silence, hoping that Austin will take the hint and go home.
Instead he continues, “I know what you’ve been through, Logan, and I know what it looked like when you walked in, but don’t be a fucking dick. When you’re done pouting like a little sissy ass baby, come out here and I’ll explain why I was here and hopefully that will give you enough time to fix this.”
At the sound of Austin’s footsteps retreating Logan continue to stew, wallowing in his own anger. Ten minutes later, after shedding a few tears of his own, Logan steps out of his bedroom and walks down the hall. He finds Austin relaxed on his sofa, beer in one hand, remote in the other. Austin makes no move to stand from the couch, only grunting at Logan’s arrival.
“You can leave now,” Logan growls, the hatred still burning deep inside.
“No thanks, I think I’ll stay to see the good doctor realize he was wrong,” he says. “You need to go see the dining table.”
“Why?”
“Don’t ask, just do it.”
Logan mutters a few expletives under his breath as he walks to the table. Spread out before him is a blueprint of the old school and a rendering from Austin’s construction company.
“What’s this?” Logan asks finding Austin next to him.
“This, my friend, is why I was here.” He looks at Logan and continues, “Did you know your girlfriend had money? Like a lot of money? Twenty million, I think she said, and the lawyer in town said her grandmother left her quite a bit as well, but she mentioned she didn’t want any of it. Any who; she called me and asked about a pediatric hospital because she had spoken with the boss of her asshole boyfriend – aka, you - about extending their services in the growing town. Now, I can’t begin to say that I understand why she would want to spend that much money and continue to work, but she seemed happy about it. I believe she had planned to unveil it at your staff meeting on Monday.”
Logan looks down at the drawing, a three-story building of glass and stone meant to house a pediatric office on the first level, as well as the option to lease offices to others. He can feel his chest constrict, the pressure overwhelming him. He grips his hand in a fist and pounds his chest.
“So she wasn’t cheating on me?” he murmurs, turning to face Austin’s accusatory stare.
Instead, Austin pats his back and smiles, “No way, that chick is only hot for you, nor am I attracted to her. Go apologize, she’ll forgive you. She knows what you’ve been through.”
Rushing towards his kitchen, Logan grabs his car keys before shouting on his way out the door, “Thanks Austin..
. Now get the fuck out my house and stop drinking my beer.”
He takes the path that leads him to Avery’s apartment, not paying attention to much of the surroundings, but when he stops at an intersection, he’s surprised to find her SUV parked on the road in front of an old school. Logan parks behind her, gets out and looks in her car window, but doesn’t find her in the vehicle. There are a few restaurants close by, but he has an inkling deep in his heart and follows his instincts.
Following the overgrown sidewalk, Logan walks on the laid concrete and stops where it ends at the school playground. He finds Avery perched on one of the plastic swings that barely hang on the rusted chains. She rocks the swing back and forth with the toe of her boot, and his heart aches at the despair infiltrating the air, wrapping its coldness around him, squeezing his chest tight.
Logan can’t believe for a moment that he didn’t trust her. Avery is the most pure-hearted person he has ever met. And he loves her - a profound emotion twisting and turning through his veins, seeping through his bones to the marrow, pumping life through his heart. She barricaded herself in Logan’s core, deep within his soul, and nothing will ever pull her free.
“How long are you going to stand there watching me?” she asks, never ceasing her movements.
“You looked so beautiful. I couldn’t help myself.”
She simply nods, but offers no more means of conversation. Logan walks over to the swing set and wearily sits on the plastic board next to hers, afraid the rusted chains won’t hold his weight and also that she’ll push him away. Anxiety and nervousness aren’t two emotions he’s very familiar with.
Logan doesn’t rock his swing, he sits there contemplating the best way to explain himself, but he comes up short. Instead, he finds himself needing to wipe away the wetness forming in his eyes at the thought that this may be the end for him and Avery. The concept alone fills him with more sorrow than he could have ever anticipated.
And it’s all my fault.
“I’m not mad or upset, Logan. I love you.” He looks over at her and he sees the shine reflected in her eyes as well. “I’m just hurt, Logan. But I understand what you’ve been through and I know that you weren’t expecting what you saw when you came home.”
“I’m so sorry, Avery. I jumped to conclusions. I’ll do whatever I can to make it up to you. I don’t want to lose you.”
She looks out towards the play yard in front of her and starts swinging again by the toe of her boot.
“When I left your house I couldn’t catch my breath. It was like someone was squeezing my lungs from the inside. I could feel every capillary exploding in my chest; it was terrifying.” She pauses as she struggles to take a deep gulp of air. “I knew when you found me because I could finally breathe again. The noose in my chest unraveled and I could feel the cool air fill my lungs. I knew then that I couldn’t be mad at you for your reaction. I can honestly say I probably would have reacted the same way. I know you trust me. You couldn’t love me if you didn’t. Just don’t push me away, please.”
“I knew the minute I turned around that I made a mistake, but I was too prideful, I needed to calm down. Avery, I love you far too much. I was prepared to grovel for your forgiveness.”
“No need for that,” she says with a chuckle, bringing her attention back to him.
The love exuding from her eyes induces a smile on Logan’s lips. He tugs the chain of her swing and brings her face close to his, sealing his mouth over hers. Fireworks, explosions, detonations, whatever they’re called, Logan feels them. He feels the electricity race from the tips of his boot clad feet to the ends of his overgrown hair. This kiss is more powerful and potent – though no less lustful - than their first kiss.
“Can you feel that?” she whispers against his mouth, eyes still shut tight.
“Every burn,” he replies, placing a kiss at the corner of her mouth, then repeats the motion on each eye as he says, “Every sizzle. Every spark.” Pulling back slightly, cupping her soft face in his hands. “I feel everything with you so deep that it becomes a part of me. There is no part of me that exists without you.”
“Who are you?” she giggles.
“I have no fucking clue. It’s like I kiss you and my brain turns into a Hallmark card. Austin will tell you that normally I’m a complete dick.”
“Well I like it. It’ll be our secret.”
She kisses him once more and then sits back on her seat.
“Did Austin tell you what we were working on?” she asks shyly, picking at a piece of torn denim on her pants.
“He did. Avery, it’s an incredible thing to do for these children. We need a pediatric office badly and you couldn’t have chosen a better location.”
“I just...it isn’t my money and I hate having it. It’s a reminder of all I’ve lost. I work hard and I save, I don’t need it. And using it for something like this is exactly what Declan and his family would have wanted. It feels like I can let his memory live on in that building.” She takes a deep breath and looks at Logan expectantly as if she thinks her next words will change him. “Logan, there is twenty million dollars in my bank account that I don’t want. It will most likely grow once I meet with a lawyer again about my grandmother’s will.”
“I don’t care about that, Avery. I make decent money on my own. I think it’s admirable what you’re doing. You could also look to work with some charities and maybe instead of selling your grandmother’s home you could donate it to the historical society. You said it’s been in your family for generations.”
“I hadn’t thought of that. It’s a great idea. So are we okay?”
“I think so. And I’ve missed you this week. I can’t wait to sleep with you in my arms.”
She smiles that glorious grin, showcasing her perfectly straight white teeth.
“I can’t wait either. I love you, Logan.”
“I love you too, babe.”
LOGAN AND AVERY LEAVE the playground and return to their vehicles, agreeing to meet back at his house. Neither of them has had a chance to eat dinner, so she’s hoping she can make-do with the spaghetti she had finished cooking before Logan surprised her.
This evening truly took her for a spin. Avery wasn’t even upset at Logan’s outburst, she knows what it looked like when he walked in - his girlfriend and the town playboy nestled close over the dining room table. Anyone would have jumped to the same conclusion. But no, Avery couldn’t be upset with Logan for his reaction, she was more distressed that she caused the reaction in the first place; that he mentally placed her with the other liars and cheats in his life.
The pain Avery felt when he demanded she leave was indescribable. It had felt like her body was subjected to every ounce of pain it could tolerate and then increased a notch. When Aria had died, she believed then that she knew torture. The loss of her sister overshadowed the pain Avery had felt when Nick and Declan had passed. Aria was her flesh and blood, her companion. But the agony of believing Avery had lost Logan eclipsed any of the anguish she had previously felt. The heart he had worked so meticulously at piecing back together, bit-by-bit, squeezed tight as if being forced through a sieve.
As she drove from his home, she couldn’t capture any air in her lungs, a full-on panic attack set to take place. Avery wanted to get away as quickly as possible, grab a few things and head somewhere new, somewhere she could pretend to not exist, but she needed to rid herself of the anxiety. Avery tried to take short steady breaths, but nothing worked. She stopped the car, fearing that she would black out from the lack of oxygen and hurt someone else on the road, and then noticed she was at the old school. Avery stumbled out of her car, tripping a few times as she made her way down the concrete path, using the old stone wall for support. As the first swing came into view, Avery sat down and rested her head against the rusted metal of the chain.
Sitting down caused a short jerky movement of the swing, which rocked her into an anxiety-fueled haze. The noises from the outside world surrounded her in a bubble, the pres
sure of Logan’s declaration weighing down on her. Then she saw them. Mentally, Avery knew the lack of oxygen to her brain was causing her to hallucinate, but in that moment they seemed far more real to her than her own person did. Before her stood Aria, flanked on both sides by Nick and Declan, surrounded in a grayish white mist, not uncommon for a chilled fall night. At their presence, Avery’s heart rate increased and she began gasping for air, the scratchiness of her throat evident as she took each shallow breath.
“Calm down, Avery,” Aria said, her melodic voice floating around Avery, flitting around her ears and hair. The hallucination feeling far more real to Avery than they had in the past. “Take a deep breath; let the air fill your lungs. Let your body feel the coolness of the breath.”
Avery followed her instructions, desperately gasping for air, not even accounting for the fact that her dead sister was in front of her.
“He’s coming,” Nick’s apparition said, but Avery didn’t need him to say it out loud, because she could already feel it.
The hairs on Avery’s arms prickled upwards and the tiny flutters in her stomach that appeared whenever she’s with Logan started their rapid vibrations.
Aria spoke again, this time more passionately than before, “Don’t be scared, Avery. We’ve been watching you, worried that you wouldn’t be able to handle all the loss in your life. But you’re so strong. And now we can move on - he will take care of them, he will take care of you. We love you, Avery; we will always keep our eyes on you.”
Avery continued to take deeper breaths, unable to acknowledge her sister’s spirit as she drifted into the air. A cool breeze wrapped around her body and Avery distinctly recognized the smell of the strawberry shampoo her sister always used. Incapable of speaking, Avery let a single tear drift down her cheek.
“You’re a beautiful person, Avery,” Nick said, “and you have a beautiful heart. You have so much love to give, don’t regret sharing it. You’re going to have a wonderful life.”
And he too followed Aria and melted into the mist. A coldness brushes against Avery’s cheek and the tear faded, its wet path gone, as if it had never appeared in the first place.
Coming Alive: Welcome to Carson, Book One Page 17