by Opal Carew
Suicides.
He thought of Debra, the sadness in her face, and a cold feeling gripped him low in the stomach. He’d never even considered… No, she was rational. She’d never do such a thing. Like the best vampire servants, she was completely committed to his service. But finding out that it was not a reciprocal relationship emotionally was a difficult transition for most humans, used to framing a dedicated relationship in terms of marriage, family…soul mates.
Debra was the first human servant he’d chosen for himself. He was from a noble family, a born vampire whose father was a wealthy English landowner to the human world and a Region Master in the vampire world. Brian had been born to the entitlements of such privilege and was taught early the distinction between him and other vampires of lesser stock. It made the gap between vampires and humans even more of a chasm. That had been hammered home to him throughout his childhood and adolescent years. While he’d chosen a different path for vampires than his father had wanted, he was still very much a product of the culture in which he’d been raised.
Many vampires lost themselves in a servant’s initial passion, forgot what the boundaries of the relationship had to be. He’d shut down any feelings like that in himself, ascribing it to a chemical urge, like endorphins. More than his family history took him down that path. Early in his studies, he’d envisioned a research facility dedicated to the vampire species. To accomplish that, he’d have to achieve credibility with much older vampires, and most doubted the maturity of a vampire prior to his first century mark. His self-control was constantly under the microscope.
Fortunately Debra had not only understood his drive in that regard; she’d matched it. She was one of the most remarkable women he’d ever met. He hoped he conveyed that in the responsibility he gave her, in the confidence he had in her findings and his overwhelming respect for her mind. But what he’d seen there tonight made him wonder if he was somehow making a grave error, overlooking something vital he needed to provide her.
He’d thought she’d reconciled herself to her role. He’d certainly taken some distastefully extreme steps to ensure it. But no matter what boundaries, protocols or lessons existed, most humans didn’t understand what the relationship truly was until the first several decades had passed, and he and Debra hadn’t even spent their first decade together. However, she was more mature, a faster thinker. What would take others thirty or forty years to realize, maybe she faced now.
And maybe the capricious heart alone made the decision as to what a servant could and couldn’t accept. The thought disturbed him, but he pushed it away for now. Time for a shower. They had the Helsinki figures to review.
Brian scrolled through the latest space station data on the properties of sunlight, comparing it to data they’d culled from the ashes of vampires gathered after they chose to meet the sun. He saw some intriguing findings from Lab 6, under Debra’s supervision. Nothing right now that suggested a way for vampires to endure sunlight more comfortably, but many scientific discoveries occurred as a result of seemingly unrelated leads and sifting through tons of data, just to see what random puzzle pieces turned up. One might eventually lead to the most important piece. Debra’s summary statement at the end of the report reflected the same conclusion.
He was striding down the maze of hallways in the main estate compound, headed back to the research wing. As always, he was vaguely aware of servants stepping out of his path, perhaps even a couple vampires. Most of the time he didn’t offend with such behavior. The visitors and occupants of the estate for the most part were accustomed to his preoccupation and didn’t take it as a lack of respect. Until the day he’d forced Lady Lyssa to veer from her path to avoid a full collision with him.
He hadn’t even realized she was there until he heard a startled gasp. Lifting his head, he saw Lord Uthe’s servant frozen at the other end of the hall, having witnessed his transgression. He’d skidded to a halt, sensing Lyssa in the same moment. Turning, he saw her waiting on his attention—waiting, God help him—with that deadly grace she had, even in a motionless posture like she held then. She’d raised a brow.
“We’re going to put a bell on you, Lord Brian. Or I’m going to start carrying a cattle prod to keep you mindful of your whereabouts.”
“Yes, my lady. My deepest apologies.”
Her lips quirked, the jade eyes gleaming, and then she continued up the hall without further comment. Lord Uthe’s servant scurried off with a “my lord” and a hidden smile.
Since then, he’d tried to stay aware of his surroundings a little better. Which was why his head came up, his eyes narrowing when an all-too-recently-familiar scent hit him. Jacob had been out working on the grounds with the maintenance crew. He bore a sheen of sweat on bare skin, since he was stripped to his jeans, a T-shirt tossed carelessly over his shoulder. His lean, powerful body was as much a warrior’s as a servant’s. The virile display pricked that knot of ugly feelings Brian thought had dissipated.
When Jacob saw Brian, he offered a courteous nod. “Lord Brian.”
He should have offered his usual distracted acknowledgement, but as Jacob passed him, Brian stopped. Not just because of his own feelings on things. The cut of Jacob’s glance wasn’t his usual pleasant manner, either.
“Jacob.”
The servant came to a halt and turned, raised a brow. “My lord.”
No mistaking the coldness that time. Brian set his tablet on a side table and stepped toward him. Interestingly, Jacob closed the distance. Even realizing his objectivity was not at its best level today, Brian found himself matching that aggressive stance toe to toe.
Jacob was an intelligent, loyal servant and an exceptional male, one whose courage, service and dedication to his lady had impressed Brian on numerous occasions. But right now he didn’t care about that. He was remembering that scent on Debra’s skin, the flush when he confronted her about it. She liked it when this male hugged her, paid attention to her.
“Is there a problem?” Brian ground out, aware that the tips of his fangs were showing. Jacob’s gaze flickered over them, but it didn’t modulate his attitude at all.
“Not with me, my lord. But perhaps if you add Debra to your task list on that little device of yours, you could manage a thought toward her wellbeing. Since she sacrifices all of herself to yours.”
“Isn’t that a servant’s job?”
Jacob’s lip curled. “Pompous asshole isn’t a good look for you, Brian.”
He wasn’t one to act on physical impulses. Yet a blink later he had Jacob shoved up against the wall, so forcefully he heard the male’s bones thud against the brick. Despite that, Jacob didn’t submit. Instead, he swung up between Brian’s arms and struck his chin with both fists, hard enough the vampire saw stars. Though Brian had him multiple times over on strength, Jacob was called to fight far more often than a research scientist. Brian tasted blood from his split lip and saw red. He was going to rip his fucking arms off.
He pulled Jacob off the wall, flung him toward the floor. Jacob rolled and was on his feet in an instant, squared off with him. The idiot servant wasn’t backing down, his expression hard.
“You tread on dangerous ground, Jacob.”
“I’m a vampire’s servant, my lord. That goes without saying.” Jacob cracked his neck, rotated his shoulders. “Want to try again? I’m sure I can get in a couple more punches. It’d be worth some broken bones to me.”
Brian blinked. “It’s an executable offense to attack a vampire.”
“Only if I’m trying to kill you. I’ve no intention of that.”
“No chance of that,” Brian retorted.
Jacob grinned. It reminded Brian that more than once this man had been a vital ally, someone willing to protect Lyssa with his life and very soul if needed. Damn it, he liked the man. Biting back his irritation, he struggled to get his inexplicable caveman reaction under control.
“I know your lady’s regard for you, Jacob, and I acknowledge your value as well, but on occasion
you forget your place."
“Not on occasion.” Jacob snorted. “Pretty much constantly, if you ask her.”
“You will keep your hands off Debra except in the context of your Mistress’s command,” Brian snapped.
It startled Jacob as much as it had shocked Debra, Brian could tell. But Jacob rallied quickly, his brow creasing with concern, protective instincts kicking in. “If you think she’s done anything inappropriate or disloyal to you, my lord, you really do have your head up your ass.”
“I don’t think that,” Brian ground out. “Are you trying to get me to put your head through the wall?”
“She loves you with everything she is,” Jacob said, blue eyes intent. “If that doesn’t demand reciprocity in your version of the vampire-servant relationship, it at least deserves acknowledgement. Respect. Appreciation.”
“She’s brilliant. I tell her that often.”
Jacob closed his eyes, astonishingly as if he was seeking patience with a particularly thick-headed child. Brian really was going to rip off his limbs. He’d figure out an explanation for Lyssa. Which would probably gain him an extra ten seconds before she separated him from his appendages.
Jacob opened his eyes, met Brian’s gaze. “We give up everything for you. Willingly, because of what we receive in return. I know you think highly of her mind. Maybe you should pay closer attention to what’s going through it. And her heart. If that doesn’t matter to you, you haven’t grown up as much as I thought you had, these past few years.”
“I’m getting tired of insults.”
“I’m not insulting you.” Jacob sighed, ran a hand over his face. “You spoke to Council, explained why you think some vampires are more disposed to childbearing.”
Brian nodded stiffly. “Yes.”
“Then practice what you preach.” Jacob’s eyes sharpened and he stepped forward so he was once again close to Brian, but it was a different kind of confrontation now. “The bond I have with my lady? It’s the very air I breathe, my lord. Knowing she has given me her heart, that she entrusts me with her love, it’s indescribable. We can all talk about unconditional service until we’re blue in the face, but reciprocity is what strengthens a relationship, makes it something we can’t live without.”
His visage darkened. “When a soul like Debra’s has to live without it, it’s a half-life. A very painful one. Yes, servants understand the nature of our relationship with vampires, but we also understand deeper things about that relationship that sometimes you all miss. When you deny us any part of your souls, you might as well tear our hearts out of our chests, because carrying them around becomes eternal torment.”
Stepping back, he gave Lord Brian a short bow, then pivoted and headed down the hallway. “Don’t tie up your hands in combat,” he threw over his shoulder. “I could have staked you while you were trying to choke me.”
Brian bared his fangs at that, but Jacob was already headed up the long corridor. He should ask Lyssa to have him publicly whipped. She might get some pleasure out of that, if done right. But he wouldn’t ask, because Jacob was right. Brian didn’t believe in pompous displays of vampire power over human servants.
The male should at least wear a shirt in the hallways, though.
Watching a pair of female staff staring after Lyssa’s servant, seeing their obvious appreciation for the glistening broad shoulders and how denim cupped his ass, annoyed Brian greatly. It was distracting and…indecent.
When they turned and saw him, both servants gave a respectful bow and headed off to their duties. It only irritated him more.
Chapter Three
His lack of control was intolerable. He knew Debra’s mind, her devotion to him. If she accepted the platonic affection of a friend, it was nothing that interfered with her loyalty to him.
He and Debra worked well into the early evening hours with the other members of the research staff. They handled conference calls, sample processing, countless emails and write ups. He pushed all of them, wanting to immerse himself in the things he understood.
When he was finally forced to retire with the dawn, he knew there were about three more hours of samples to analyze. She assured him she and the staff would handle it. He studied her face, touched her mind, felt nothing but sincerity. Vaguely dissatisfied, he gave her a short nod and headed for his quarters below ground.
Once there, though, he found he couldn’t sleep. He could push away his irrational reaction to Jacob. Pushing away his words wasn’t as easy.
He had some time before the sunrise above ground would force him to sleep. He owed his father an email, but he didn’t have the concentration for it. His quarters were well-appointed, with a small lab and office area, sitting room, comfortable bed, paintings and artifacts collected on his travels. Passing his fingers over a wood carving of a slender woman, a pleasing thing given to him by an overlord in Tunisia, he realized he didn’t feel like doing any of the normal things he did to unwind, prepare for sleep. Perhaps he should have recommended the research facility be located in Alaska, where night held far greater dominion over the hours.
With a sigh, he stripped and lay down on the bed, cut the lights. Not entirely sure of his purpose, he nevertheless decided to enter Debra’s mind and silently observe. Record, collect data, the way he might for an experiment. A very important one, where every detail was vital to reaching the proper conclusion.
She was still working. Since she was alone, he assumed the lab techs were busy in other wings, processing blood samples with electrophoresis and examining DNA segments with PCR. She was bent over her microscope, patiently examining slide after slide and making notes. She was so thorough, never rushing any process. But she did pause to rub her eyes, Picking up the bottle next to her, he saw it was a caffeine energy drink, something third marks didn’t normally need. Carefully screwing the top back on after taking a draught, she rolled her head back on her shoulders. He could feel the knots in her muscles, the tension in her lower back.
When he heard Jacob’s voice, he stiffened. However, as the male entered the lab, laid a hand on her shoulder, Brian could feel her response at every level. It truly was a strong friendship, one that brought her comfort and made Brian feel petty for resenting it. Jacob massaged her shoulder with that one hand, picking up on her discomfort. He could see the male servant’s concern. So he wasn’t the only one noticing how hard she was pushing herself. Though Jacob had been noticing far longer, perhaps explaining why he stopped by so frequently. And why he’d spoken to Brian the way he had.
When was the last time Brian had asked Debra how her day had gone? Of course, it wasn’t required that he do so.
Pompous asshole.
It wasn’t Jacob’s voice in his head that time, but his own. He’d taken the path never traveled by a vampire, into science and research. While his father had been disappointed that Brian’s interests had lain in promoting the wellbeing of the race as a whole, which meant rubbing elbows with the least as well as the highest ranking of their kind, the credit he’d been given by Council in the past few years, including this research facility, had helped his father reconcile himself to his son’s choice.
Not that that was much of an issue to Brian. He loved and respected his father, but his path had always been clear. He’d sought knowledge and scientific pursuit almost as soon as he was aware of his capacity to think.
So if he’d been that much of a maverick, why was he letting the protocols of a lifetime dictate to him, when it was clear things were changing for vampire-servant relationships?
If he viewed his servant as most vampires did, with fondness and appreciation for their value, but no untoward romantic feelings, it wouldn’t be an issue. But he’d liked her from their first meeting. Had wanted her intensely only a blink later. So ever since the full marking, he’d dedicated himself to shutting down both their responses, making sure everything between them was within the appropriate boundaries.
He’d done the job all too well. Or had he? Did the same feelings
seethe inside Debra that seemed to be struggling to break free inside him?
She was so formal with him. It hadn’t always been that way. When they first met at the lab where she worked, before she’d known he was a vampire and even for a while afterwards, she’d laughed around him, blushed, tried flirting with him a little. Spoken her mind. She was well informed on almost everything, his Debra.
With the workload they now carried, there wasn’t much time to socialize, but that didn’t explain it. He thought of the bond shared by pairings like Lyssa and Jacob. As busy as Lyssa was with Council matters, Brian had no doubt she checked on Jacob’s mental state throughout the day, doing what he was doing now, drifting in and out of his servant’s mind to get an honest picture of how she was feeling, how much she was demanding of herself. Servants were notorious for always putting their vampires first, minimizing their own needs. It was part of being a servant and certainly added to their value, but there was a line. Jacob had implied…
No, not implied. He’d stated outright that Brian completely ignored that line.
It mattered to Brian that she was tired, that her back hurt. Yes, Debra was a competent, intelligent woman capable of taking care of herself. She was also a highly-driven, obsessive compulsive submissive to whom serving her Master, never failing his expectations, was paramount. Only since he wasn’t telling her what those expectations were, she was setting them, and putting that bar up on the moon.
As Jacob took his leave and Brian continued to hover in her mind, he was reminded how enchanting it was to watch Debra work. While she studied slides containing thin-sliced tissue preps, she typed in data one-handed and carried on a running commentary with her mice about that data, peppered with affectionate comments about their behavior. As always when doing tissue work, the mice were in their cage and maze tubes, but he noticed they liked to stay near, listen to her voice. He found it pleasing as well.