by Opal Carew
“Which didn’t pan out.”
“Not exactly.” He smiled, a real grin that put her at ease. “In a convoluted way, you helped get them together. You help everyone else. It’s time you helped yourself, isn’t it?”
“So you’re not mad at me?”
“Mad? No.” He took his hand from her face. “I only want the best for you, Maggie. Sincerely. And you let me know if this art prick gets grabby. I’ll break his hands for you.” He kissed her, in full view of anyone watching. Then he caressed her cheek once more before turning away. “Break a leg and give ‘em hell.”
“Thanks.” She watched him leave, not sure why she felt as if he’d been saying goodbye instead of good luck.
Mac walked away and did his best not to break through his fucking window instead of opening his door and driving away. He’d finally found a woman he wanted to spend his tomorrows with, and she looked to be one foot out the door.
He drove home, feeling dejected and rejected. Not a great combination. After letting himself inside, he locked up behind him and grabbed a beer. He downed it and followed with several more, drowning his sorrows in alcohol. A cliché, but he felt entitled. It wasn’t every day he met a girl he wanted to collar and call his own. The perfect submissive for Mac. She liked him calling the shots in bed, hadn’t cheated on him or tried to empty his wallet, and was a genuinely nice person. And Maggie looked like a walking ad for condoms. So hell yeah, he’d fallen for her. Only to once again have someone he loved walk out the fucking door.
The ball of self-pity and anger with himself for being such a putz grew. He knew better than to open himself up to someone else. Every fucking time he did he got his heart trampled. But had he learned? No.
He stared at the artwork he’d hung in a prominent spot on the living room wall, where he’d be able to see it from just about anywhere in living, dining or kitchen area of his open downstairs floor space. He wanted to eat, breathe and sleep with Maggie Doran in mind. Except now he’d have to go back to daydreams and fantasies.
Reality sucked major ass.
Chapter Fifteen
A week had passed without Maggie, and Friday morning arrived. With it came the notion that Mac had lost the best thing that had ever happened to him. He couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, and had barely functioned through Shane and Shelby’s New Year’s Eve party, which he’d left early. His uncle kept trying to counsel him, as if Mac needed another pep talk. The one he’d gotten when Julie had left had done nothing but make his uncle break down in useless tears.
Stupid to be thinking about shit that had gone down nearly twenty years ago, but old wounds lingered. He realized with some surprise that he’d never had a steady girlfriend in all that time. Lots of friends, some with benefits, some not. Much of his time in the Corps had been on the go, and he’d been happy to bond with male Marines in dangerous places, facing life or death situations. Sex on the side came in handy to relieve stress, but otherwise Mac had little time for softness in life.
Then his forced retirement had led him back to Seattle, where he’d figured on putting down roots. With Shane and his family, then Ian, now Shelby and her family, he’d found a new group, new connections. And Maggie.
He rubbed his chest, wishing like hell he could stop thinking about her. She’d called and texted a lot the first day she’d been gone, letting him know she’d extended her stay in Philly. More business meetings and some lawyer she had to talk to. He’d been too hung-over to answer her call, but he’d read her messages. He’d sent her one, telling her good luck, and to remember to knee that dickhead in the balls if he messed with her. They’d chatted via text about New Years, about the East Coast, what Shane and Shelby were up to. But as much as Mac wanted to let her know how much he missed her, he couldn’t say it.
A few days passed, and then she’d stopped sending him anything.
He’d heard a few of her phone messages since then, but it became too hard to hear her voice. He realized the mistake he’d made in thinking he might have a shot at normalcy. And he—
“Christ on a crutch, get your head out of your ass already.” Ian shoved past him and made a beeline for the coffee pot. “What’s this? Too depressed to even make coffee now? Fuck me.”
A husky feminine voice said, “I thought I did that last night.”
Mac groaned and buried his head in his hands on the kitchen counter, where he’d been trying to get the gumption to go into work today. Instead he now possessed the knowledge that his uncle and Mimi had bumped uglies in his house last night, in the guest bed he’d now have to burn.
“Hey, honey. How about making us some coffee?” Ian smiled at Mimi, and after rolling her eyes at him, she searched for coffee beans and started making the brew. “Now, nephew, we need to talk.”
“Shoot me now.” He refused to look up until his uncle grabbed him by the hair and yanked. “Fuck. What the hell, Ian?”
“Watch your mouth. Lady present.” He nodded at Mimi, who wore Ian’s long flannel robe like a queen playing dress up.
“Sorry,” Mac muttered. “I’ll go back to bed. I think I’m coming down with something.”
“No, Mac. I’m sorry,” Mimi surprised him by apologizing. “What with Ron getting so cozy with Justin and me shacking up with your uncle, we’ve all completely left you and Maggie to yourselves. Such a shame.”
Ian nodded. “It’s our fault. No, make that my fault. If you weren’t such a dumbass, if I’d raised a smarter kid, you’d have spent New Year’s Eve breaking in the New Year with Maggie instead of pouting like a two-year-old because you can’t have your favorite treat.”
Mac stared at his uncle in astonishment. “Are you high? First of all, I don’t need your help. I never needed it.”
“Yes, you do,” Ian and Mimi said together.
He ignored them. “Second, Maggie and I had a little fun. We dated a few times, end of story. We’re good. I’m good.”
“Oh?” Mimi raised a brow. “Is that why Maggie’s been calling Shelby asking for advice about you? Is that why my precious blond angel is stressing about you and your feelings when she should be focusing on her career? How selfish.”
Ian nodded. “Selfish.”
“Fu—shove off.” Mac stood up, not needing to hear anymore. He felt bad enough as it was. Now he was to blame because Maggie couldn’t enjoy her success.
Ian yanked him back down, and only the fact that Mimi stood so close curbed Mac’s impulse to smash his fist into his uncle’s face. They’d had a couple of knock-down drag-out fights when he was younger, but he felt more than ready to take the old man on again, and he wouldn’t feel bad about breaking bones this time either. Well, he would, but he’d block off that stupid pity that made him such a pussy. Shit. He used to be tougher than this.
“You’ll sit and listen.” Ian’s eyes shone, and Mac stared, shocked to see unshed tears there.
“I know I made some mistakes with you. Your father was a dumbass who took too many chances. Instead of taking care of his boy, he was out gambling and found himself in the wrong place at the wrong time. Mac, it could easily have been him mowing someone down in a DUI instead of going under.
“Then your mother, never a strong person to begin with, left. Good riddance, I still say.”
Mimi put her hand comfortingly on Ian’s shoulder.
“But when Julie left,” Ian continued in a shaky voice, “I should have kept it together more. I was stressed and tired and having a hard time when she took off. I didn’t handle things right, and you saw more than a young kid should have.”
“You did your best,” Mac offered, not wanting to talk about any of this. He just wanted to sleep.
“But my best wasn’t good enough. Look son, I’m trying to tell you, I know what this is. People who love you leave you, right? That’s what you’re thinking. Your father dies, your mother deserts you, then on the heels of that, Julie—another mother-type—does the same fucking thing.”
Mac still heard the anger in his uncle�
�s voice.
“None of it was because of you, Mac. And Maggie hasn’t left you either.”
He shrugged. “I know that. There was nothing to leave, anyway. We’re just friends.”
“Bullshit,” Mimi swore. “You and that girl are the best things to happen to each other since… Well, since Shelby and Shane. Ron and I did the cards before we got preoccupied with love.” She kissed Ian smack on the lips, then rolled up her sleeves and started poking Mac in the chest with each word. “The Tarot doesn’t lie. That girl loves you. Maggie is stubborn. She’s been hurt plenty. You think it was easy for her to give you a chance? The great Romeo of Jameson’s Gym?”
“Mac, really.” Ian frowned.
“What? That wasn’t my doing. Romeo’s not a nickname to be proud of unless you’re a seventeen-year-old.” Like Geo, who truly fit the description. “And she doesn’t love me.” Could she? Did she really? Then why had she taken off? Why couldn’t she stay?
“Maggie did give you a chance,” Mimi continued. “She worked for you because she liked you. Then she fell in love with you.”
“Love.” Mac scoffed, but inside he wanted to flee. He hated these kinds of discussions, and the thought of Maggie loving him scared the shit out of him, because he wanted it so much. “She and I had a few good times. She’s a good person.” His throat closed up, and his eyes burned. She couldn’t possibly love him. He wasn’t all that loveable.
“Oh Mac.” Mimi gave him a pitying glance.
He swore if she threw her arms around him he’d—“Hey.” He rubbed the back of his head where she’d smacked him.
“If you’re that thickheaded that you don’t see Maggie for the wonderful angel she is, you don’t deserve her. She’s coming back to town tomorrow. We’re throwing her a surprise party at six. I suggest you pick her up from the airport with a damn good excuse as to why you’re shutting her out. It’s one thing to say you don’t like talking or texting, but if you don’t show up to welcome her home, she’ll know you were just using her for sex.”
“I was not using her for anything,” he growled.
“Oh? So the girl gets successful and all of a sudden you two are done? Is that why she asked Trevor to look out for you? She’s worried, you idiot. She thought you might have been hurt because you weren’t talking to Shane and we hadn’t seen you either. So she asked her brother to involve himself in her personal life, something she’s never done.”
Mac swore. He knew he’d felt someone watching him the other day, but then he’d gotten sidetracked feeling sorry for himself.
“Maggie asked Shelby to tell Shane to butt in. She knows something’s wrong because you aren’t talking to him either, and she’s worried about you. Poor, poor Mac.” Mimi kicked him in the shin. “Grow up.”
“Ow.”
Ian grinned. “Nice one, sweetheart.”
“Thank you, sexy.”
“Stop. My ears are bleeding.” Mac still felt miserable, but his load had lightened. “Look, she won’t want to see me anyway. I was a dick about her going to Philly. She’ll be happier without me there.”
“Oh? So you want nothing to do with her?”
“No, I didn’t say that. She and I are friends. We agreed we wouldn’t get weird for Shelby and Shane’s sake.”
“How nice.” Mimi smiled, and he inwardly cringed. She looked predatory and scary, for all that she was old enough to be his mother. “Then I suppose I should invite Brent and a few of the single men I know to her party. No time like the present for her to make new friends. Ian, get my phone, would you?”
“All right.” Mac stood up so fast his stool flew back. “I’ll fucking pick her up at the airport. Send the damn directions. And I’m sorry I’m fucking cursing, okay?” He stomped out of the kitchen into his room and slammed the door. And that’s the last time I’m inviting Ian to spend the night. Jesus, he’s banging Shelby’s mother under my roof. How pathetic am I that my uncle is getting more tail than me?
God knew it wasn’t for lack of opportunity. As if they could sense his vulnerability, women seemed to be fawning over him lately. At the gym, Megan had become a real problem. His favorite coffee shop and a few local hangouts had netted him more phone numbers and offers than he could handle. In the six days Maggie had been gone, he’d been offered sexual ease from half a dozen women. It was weird.
But he couldn’t feel any excitement for anyone but his little sub.
I fucking love her. Shit. As he showered, he couldn’t help wondering if that stuff about his mother and Julie affected him now. Was he really letting his fucked up mother and that bitch Julie ruin a decent relationship? He’d served in the friggin’ USMC. He could handle a pint-sized blond and the emotional rat’s nest that came with her, right? He was no pussy.
The day flew by in a rush while he tried to come up with some excuse for acting like an idiot. In retrospect, being so down just because she’d gone away for a few days made him look like a fucking dick. His girlfriend—he thought and took a deep breath—had just been handed the best news of her life, and instead of supporting her, he’d turned sulky and acted like one of her many exes.
Later that evening he sat down at the local watering hole, not surprised when Trevor joined him on one side and Shane took the other stool.
“Well, what do you know, Shane,” Trevor said with false cheer. “Pussies-R-Us must be meeting here, because lo and behold, it’s the president. Hey Mac.”
“Fuck you.”
“Mimi called me,” Trevor said.
“And Ian called me.” Shane sighed. “We’re here to talk to you.”
Mac groaned. “Please. No more talking, okay? I’m fine. I’m picking up Maggie from the airport tomorrow. Then we’re going back to my place so I can apologize and we can have hot monkey sex with leather and chains. Good enough for you?” He glared at Trevor.
Trevor nodded. “Sounds fine.” His fist shot out before Mac could duck, and the next thing Mac knew, Shane was picking him up off the floor.
Trevor stared at him with disdain. “That’s it? That’s all you’ve got? And you think you’re good enough for my sister?”
Mac flew at him. They knocked several chairs and tables around, and only the fact that the sleet outside kept the bar practically empty stopped them from hurting anyone but themselves in the scuffle. Mac nailed Trevor in the face and gut and took a few more punches. But in his state of rage, he didn’t feel much.
Then his old bouncer buddy Jonas, Shane, and two other men pulled him and Trevor apart.
“Sorry, Jonas,” Mac heard Shane explain. “Woman trouble.”
“The blond from before, right? Maggie?” Jonas asked.
“My sister,” Trevor said coldly.
Jonas looked at him, then at Mac’s swelling eye, and sighed. To Mac he asked, “I’m guessing you’re not pressing charges?”
“No. Tell Andy I’ll pay for the damages.”
Jonas and the others left while they sat at a table they hadn’t managed to knock over.
Trevor opened his big mouth and said, “According to Mimi, you’re messed up, Jameson. But at least you can hit. For a minute there, I wondered.” He paused. “Maggie hasn’t said much about you to me, but I know my sister. She likes you. A lot.”
“I like her too,” Mac admitted quietly.
Trevor grunted. “Stop being an asshole and talk to her. She won’t stop nagging me until I convince her you’re okay. At first I thought you might be fucking her over with some other woman, but I can see you’re too pathetic to score.”
“Nice one.” Shane nodded. “I would have said it’s sad to see a Marine taken down by a petite blond. Especially because she’s been nothing but nice to you while you sulk like a baby because she left you alone.”
“Dick,” Mac growled. His head fucking hurt.
“But then I realized, when you love someone, you can act totally stupid. Because women mess you up faster than any drug ever could.”
Trevor sighed. “Amen.”
&nbs
p; “I don’t…” Mac couldn’t say it. He did love her. “I was stupid, okay?”
“Oh yeah.” Shane’s smugness was going to cost him later. Mac intended on making him pay. “He’s in love.”
“Shut up,” Mac ordered.
To which Trevor replied, “Don’t make me regret giving you a chance to make her happy.”
Mac groaned. “Will you two shut up already? All this love shit is hurting my head.”
“No,” Shane said slowly. “That would be Trevor’s large fists. Make fun of my running skills all you want, but I would have ducked and run from that attack. Only to come back with a chair, mind you. You took that pounding like a heavy punching bag. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone beat you up before. It’s a novel experience.”
“Shut up, dickhead. He didn’t beat me up.”
“This is your best friend?” Trevor asked Shane.
“I know. He’s pathetic, right?” Shane sighed. “My boy is in love, and it’s hard for him. Expressing his feelings is not Mac’s strong suit.”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Mac rasped. “I think I expressed my feelings to Trevor well enough.”
To his surprise, Trevor chuckled. “He’s got you there, Shane. Well, I’m tired. I’m turning in. I’ll see you two ladies tomorrow at the party.” He glared at Mac to make his point, then left.
“I don’t know if I like him or hate him,” Shane said.
“I feel you. But he’s Maggie’s brother, so I’m leaning toward like.”
“And toward love when it comes to Maggie, right?”
Mac groaned.
“I know, I know. No more love talk.” Shane shook his head. “Been there, done that, buddy. At least Maggie has no idea what a moron you’ve been. She just thinks you’re bad at communication. But dude, this is her time to shine. Don’t ruin it for her.”
Mac felt like a total shit. “I know. I get it. I was wrong, okay?”
Shane slapped him on the back, right where Trevor had landed a punch.