by Opal Carew
“We’re going to be okay,” Ian whispered.
Rafe closed his eyes and squeezed Ian’s waist. “Yeah. Yeah, we will.”
The only thing they had no control over right then that mattered —and no desire to have control over—was Sassy. She was a force unto herself.
As much as he and Ian loved each other, Rafe knew it wouldn’t be the same without Sassy. She was the one who held them together and made their lives complete.
She hadn’t left, but was she fully committed?
He didn’t know, but he’d give her time. He and Ian both would.
She was their center.
They had to make sure she knew it.
Chapter Nine
“So is it different being with two guys rather than just one?” Shea’s eyes widened and she slapped her hand over her mouth, shaking her head. “I can’t believe I just asked that,” she mumbled behind her hand.
Sassy ran her hand through her hair, her bangles jiggling as she tried to hold back her laughter at the question.
“Oh honey, you’re family. You can ask those questions,” Sassy teased.
Shep, the love of Shea’s life and one of Sassy’s best friends, came up behind Shea and put his hand on her shoulders. “Sassy, love, if she’s family, maybe you shouldn’t be talking about sex. And Shea, baby, I’m all the man you need.”
Shea blushed hard and leaned into him. “You’re more than I can handle most days, Shep, but I like trying to handle you just fine.”
Sassy grinned as Shep pulled Shea into a steamy kiss then left her mussed, blushing, and looking sexy as hell. There was just something hot and sweet about looking at a couple—or triad—in love and knowing that there might be something for her as well.
Oh, she wasn’t ready to come out and say that she’d found her bliss, but she was definitely on the right track.
She purposely kept her feelings from Ian and Rafe, after all they’d only been reunited for a couple months. They still had time to find their rhythm and figure out how each piece of their particular puzzle would fit together. However, that didn’t mean she hadn’t been thinking about it.
God, some days it felt like it was the only thing she thought about.
Things were going well though. Great even. She had moments with each of her men and moments with both of them at the same time. It wasn’t lost on her that she constantly thought of Ian and Rafe as her men.
That’s what they were.
They were hers as much as she was theirs.
Shep went back to his notepad, working on artwork for a design for Shea, leaving her and Sassy to talk about what they loved best.
Their men.
Of course, Sassy had to answer the phones and do all of the other thirty-thousand things that went with being the Midnight Ink receptionist, but today was a rather slow day thankfully. It was mostly just the artists working on upcoming projects with only two clients in chairs getting inked. The buzz of the needle was a gentle hum, sliding up and down Sassy’s spine.
Oh yeah, it was totally time to get new ink.
Maybe she’d get that ink Rafe and Ian had wanted when they’d first come in to the shop a couple months ago. It was hard to believe it had only been two months since they’d walked in and scared the shit out of her. God, she loved them, but she was waiting to tell them.
Something was holding her back, she didn’t know what, but she wasn’t ready to let them know.
“What are you thinking about that’s giving you that serious face?” Shea asked, pulling Sassy out of her thoughts of love and her men.
Sassy shook her head and smiled. There was no use talking about things she couldn’t even fully form in her mind. She’d rather talk about the good things—like sex and the fact that Shep and Shea would be getting married soon.
Well, by soon, she meant within the next year, but that was still pretty freaking cool.
“So, are you excited about your new ink?” Sassy asked, changing the subject. Shea raised a brow but didn’t point it out.
“I just finished my first piece with Shep, but he’s planning number two. I think it’ll be a while before I get to it though. I want to make sure I don’t go crazy and get twelve tats in twelve months.”
Sassy tilted her head. “You know, if they were small ones, that could be a good promotion.”
Shea rolled her eyes. “Oh God, look what I started.”
Sassy grinned and turned to the front desk so she could write down that idea. Someone had left the morning paper on top of her legal pad and as she moved it out of the way, something caught her eye.
“The Bordeaux Whore Is Back In Town. What Does Daddy Have To Say About That?”
Sassy blinked as the buzzing in her ears grew louder and louder. She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. She put her finger on the column on the society pages and licked her lips.
“Sassy? What is it? Oh God, you’re pale. Are you sick? Shep!”
She heard Shea calling out but it was from somewhere far away and moving even farther away.
They’d found out.
Someone had figured out who she was and how she was connected to Ian. She glanced at the words, whore, sodimist, and threesome, standing out and making her want to vomit.
They’d found out about Rafe too.
Strong hands pulled her around and she looked into Shep’s eyes, unseeing.
“Sassy? What’s wrong, honey? Talk to me. Austin, get her some water.”
Sassy had forgotten Shep’s cousin Austin was back in town. She’d have to make sure she teased him about his ink like she always did. That was, if she could ever think again…or face these people again.
Oh God, what would they do when they found out she’d lied to them all this time?
“Oh my God, Sassy,” Shea gasped beside her and Sassy closed her eyes.
Damn it. She’d seen the article.
“Oh honey, that stupid bitch Vivian is such a fucking asshole when she writes in the gossip column. They put me and Shep in there when we were first dating because of my dad, but it blew over.”
Sassy felt Shea’s hands on her back but she couldn’t speak. She could only think of what she needed to do and who she’d have to protect. That was her job.
She was The Sassy.
She’d have to give it all up to make sure Rafe’s family, Ian’s people, her crew, all of them, would be okay.
There was no other choice open to her.
Because no matter how scandalous it was for Shea, the golden girl, to date an inked tattoo artist, it was nothing like being the lost Bordeaux princess who found herself in a threesome with one of the most eligible men in the United States and another man with no breeding according to her parents’ society circles.
That’s what they’d tear them down to. It didn’t matter that she loved Ian and Rafe or that they were both more than a label. Nothing mattered in the world where she’d grown up, that same world she still fought so hard to leave behind.
The public face was the only thing that mattered in that world.
Living the ultimate sin in their eyes would only harm Ian and Rafe.
She couldn’t do that.
No matter what she thought of herself, she wouldn’t hurt the men she loved.
Damn it.
Tears threatened, but she fought them back. She wouldn’t break down in front of her friends—the family she’d made with ties she hoped to God were stronger than blood.
“Shit, Sassy, there’s a crew out here with a camera saying they want to talk to you,” Austin said from behind her and Sassy held back a shudder. “I locked the doors. This is private property and they can go fuck themselves.”
“I need to get out of here,” she whispered, her voice broken.
Her everything broken.
Shep ran a hand through her hair, but she barely felt it.
Barely felt anything.
“Okay, honey, we’ll get you out of here.”
She shook her head and pulled away. Sh
e could feel the stares of everyone in the room. People she loved walking toward her, trying to help, but she couldn’t do it, couldn’t take it.
“I need to be alone. I’m going to go out the back, but I don’t have my car.”
Austin threw his keys at her and she caught them without thinking. “It’s my rental. Take it. I can hitch a ride with Shep, easy.”
“Austin, I don’t think she should be driving right now,” Shea admonished.
“I think she’s stronger than any of us. If she needs to get the fuck away, we need to let her,” Austin countered.
God, even a man she’d only known for a couple months thought she was stronger than she really was. She hoped she could live up to it because she was about to do something that would take everything out of her.
“Sassy,” Shep snapped and she blinked out of whatever daze she was in. “Get it together. I know you can do this. You need to leave? Okay, we can do that for you. But you don’t get to drive out there and hurt yourself because you’re locked in your head. Get me?”
She nodded, grateful for her family. “I’m going to be okay,” she lied.
She’d never be okay with what she had to do, but she’d do it anyway. Strength didn’t come from the easy choices, but from the very difficult ones that she was being forced to make now.
“We’ll hold the fort,” Shep said. “Then you can tell us what happened. We’re not going to pry.”
She kissed him on the cheek then ran out the back door. She couldn’t see any reporters around, but she didn’t trust them not to ambush her. She put her brain on autopilot as she drove to Rafe’s garage. Ian would be there too. It was his day off, and he was helping out Rafe’s family and forming those connections she craved. They were supposed to go out for lunch, the three of them, in another hour and then Ian would spend the afternoon at Midnight getting to know her family.
At least that had been the plan.
Not anymore.
A few spiteful words in a newspaper gossip column had ruined that.
She pulled into the garage and shut off the engine. The tears still hadn’t fallen. It was as if she were frozen in time, watching everyone around her moving around like nothing had happened. Like her world hadn’t just shattered into a million tiny pieces and would never be whole again.
“Sassy? Are we late?” Rafe asked, a smile on his face. He had grease stains on his coveralls and looked strong enough that he could hold her with his will alone.
It wasn’t enough.
“Baby?” Ian came out from the other room, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt making him look more casual than she’d ever seen him. He looked like he fit in the family.
Something she’d never be part of.
“What’s wrong?” Rafe asked as he came up to her.
She took a step back when he tried to reach for her. The shock and pain on his face was like a blow to the chest, but this was how it needed to be.
“Can we find a private place to talk?” She could see Rafe’s father walking into the garage and she couldn’t face him, not when she was going to disappoint him and his family again.
God, she’d done this before but then it had been to protect her own heart.
No, it was to protect them.
There was a difference.
There had to be.
“Yeah, we can go to the back,” Rafe said, the fear in his voice shooting straight through her.
Funny, she’d thought she’d be numb by now.
She followed them both and stood between them, knowing this would be the last time she’d do so.
“Have you seen the papers?” she asked, her voice devoid of emotion. If she broke down then, she’d never stop and wouldn’t be able to get it out.
“Not yet,” Ian said. “I read the front headlines, but haven’t looked at the rest. What is this, Sassy?”
She shook her head. “Look at the gossip column when you get a chance, or don’t. They know.”
Rafe blinked. “Who knows?”
“Everyone. They all know. They know the Bordeaux whore is in a threesome and the lost princess is a shame to her family.”
Ian’s face grew stormy. “What? What name did you just use?”
She shook her head. “That’s not important. You’ll read all about it. What they wrote? It’s not true. We know that, but it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that we’re hurting people being together. Ian, you’ll lose so much by doing this. You too, Rafe. Your family might agree with what we’re doing but will they once they’re hounded by my past and the future we thought to make?”
“Fuck the world, Sass,” Rafe barked. “We’ve been through this before. We’re not losing you.”
She shook her head. “We’ve never done this before. I’ve spent my life trying to find out who I am, and if I stay and hurt the people I love because I wanted something I can’t have, then I’ve lost myself as well.”
“Nothing we are is wrong,” Ian whispered.
She closed her eyes tight to keep the tears at bay. “I know that. I know. We’ve never been taboo in my head. I’ve never thought anything was wrong with loving two men. That isn’t it. It’s the fact that others would be hurt because of what I want. That’s what kills me. That’s the difference. If I could love both of you and never have it harm the people we love too, then I’d leap at the chance. But I can’t be selfish.”
“Stopping this now isn’t the answer,” Rafe said, his voice hard.
“Stopping this now might make me a coward, but it saves the people around us. I was happy before you came back and maybe, just maybe, I might find that again. If I don’t? Then I never deserved it in the first place.”
The first tear fell and she knew she was running out of time. “I love both of you. Please know that, but I can’t go on living something that will only hurt us all in the future.”
Neither man spoke, their faces hard, and she nodded.
There.
She’d done it.
She’d broken it all.
Again.
She turned on her heel, got in Austin’s rental, and drove off.
The tears fell in earnest now, but she drove on, not knowing where she was going. Home would be too much, too much Rafe, too much Ian.
For as much as others had claimed she was strong, she knew it was a lie.
No matter how strong she acted, no matter what she did to help the others in her life, she was weak. The Sassy wasn’t destined for a happy ending.
Chapter Ten
“You’re just going to let her leave?” Rafe’s father barked, and Ian took a deep breath.
He nodded at Rafe then faced the man who would one day be his father-in-law if Ian had any say in it. “No, we’re not. She might need time to breathe, but she doesn’t get to leave us when she just told us she loved us.”
“Perfect fucking timing,” Rafe bit out.
“Language, niño.”
Rafe growled beside him and Ian ground his teeth.
“She left because of what she saw in the paper. So, let’s see what it is she saw and then we fix it.”
Rafe stepped in front of him as he took a step toward the office. “Fix it? How are we going to do that? Fuck, Ian, we just let her walk out of here.”
Ian cupped Rafe’s cheek. “And if we’d forced her to stay, she’d resent the hell out of us. So we’re going to look at the real issues here—the media and who leaked this story—and fix it. Then we’re going after her. We should have done that ten years ago and we’re not going to make the same mistake again.”
He’d be damned if he’d act like he did before.
He kept running Sassy’s words over and over in his head, fixating on those that meant they had a chance at a future. She’d never told them she loved them outright, not before, but the words were out there now and she didn’t get to take them back.
She didn’t get to run away for good.
When he pulled up the gossip column on the damn society pages, he let out a roar. Rafe ju
mped and looked over his shoulder before letting go with a particularly vile curse that surprised Ian in its vehemence.
“God, they were vicious to Sassy,” Carlos whispered. “Who would do such a thing?”
Ian ground his teeth. “They were petty and cruel to her while saying that she’s a disappointment to her family. Notice they didn’t mention Rafe and me beyond who we were.”
“The attack was directed specifically at her,” Rafe said.
“And who would want to hurt her the most and have the ties to make it happen?”
“Fuck. That fucking prick.”
“Her father?” Carlos asked, ignoring his son’s language. “Mierda.”
Ian’s brows rose in confirmation. He looked at Rafe and let out a breath. “Let’s deal with him once and for all. He’s always been in the background of our relationship with her. We’ve chosen to put it aside because acting on it could hurt her, but right now, we’re going to fix it.”
“You really think she’s going to like us going in and fixing the problem for her?”
Ian shook his head. “No, she’s going to hate it. She should face him but not before she’s ready. If we want to make our future work, we need to make sure that bastard isn’t part of it. He needs to know he can’t show up when he wants to hurt her. The only reason he even knows about us is because of who I am and the people who follow me. I’m going to use that to crush him.”
“And when she resents us because we took care of it for her?”
Ian shook his head. “Then she can confront her father too. Right now though, this is something we need to do. That fucker isn’t the only thing that’s bothering her and once we assure her that we can make this work, then she’s part of it as well. We’re not doing it only for her, we’re doing it for us.”
He wasn’t just rationalizing. No matter how much Sassy might need to confront her father, it wasn’t going to happen right then. The SOB didn’t matter enough in the long run, and Ian would do what he could to make sure he no longer mattered at all.
They hopped into Ian’s car and drove to the Bordeaux estate on the other side of the city. He’d never been there, although because of his family connections, he’d been invited. The Steeles and Bordeauxs would have made a perfect match in snob heaven. Too bad Ian and Sassy found each other the way they wanted to, not how their parents desired.