Protective Love (Hidden Secrets)

by P. J. Belden

  “When I was sixteen, I was attacked badly by Alex. He tore up my room in the struggle. He slammed me into my shelves and knocked everything to the floor. I tried to get away, but was constantly dragged back to him. I fought hard that day,” I shuddered as I went back to that moment.

  When I looked at my dad, I could see his face changing as he was putting the pieces together to what day I was talking about.

  “Damn it,” he whispered.

  Tears welled up in my eyes when I saw my father’s face. It was going to be so much harder than I’d thought it would be. He wasn’t angry like I’d expected; he was broken, and I was the one doing it to him. I had to hurry and get everything out so I could leave.

  “While Alex was… while he… he told me something that echoed in my head for the longest time. It was important, I knew it had to be, but I just didn’t know how important. He said – and I quote, ‘Through one Williams, you have them all. Break one, and they all will fall.’ Now, I didn’t know what that meant at the time, but then as I sit and look back at what has happened over the past sixteen years, I understand it now. There is more to this story than what I thought - what we thought. I have reason to believe that the Captain Dale Day is involved in this as well.”

  My dad slammed his fist down on the table, causing me to jump. He was up and moving to his desk when I stopped him with my hand from calling anyone.

  “Daddy, you always told me to get the facts before you attack. We need to get the facts before we do anything. The thing is we don’t know how high up the ladder the corruption goes, or how many people are involved. The thing is, Alex may have initially been out for revenge on Carson, but for the past sixteen years, it hasn’t been just about his loss. I think that people are paying him to break me so our family breaks apart because of it. Although I don’t think that they expected me to be as strong as I have been.”

  “Why do you think this?” Eli bit out through clenched teeth.

  He was mad too, but there wasn’t any other way I could have handled it and they had to know that.

  “A few reasons. Alex had told me a few years back that he had the best side job in the world. Then there is the fact of how he’s managed to stay hidden for so long, the way the Captain talked to me yesterday, and the note I found on my car this morning.”

  I dug in my pocket and handed my dad the note.

  “Why didn’t you tell me any of this yesterday?” Eli asked softly.

  “Because I wasn’t sure then, but when I read this note, and put all the pieces together…” I shrugged. “It all fits together, but I need both of your help to prove it. I don’t want Jason to know either. He has enough on his plate because of me,” I hung my head at the end of it.

  “Pumpkin, Jason being shot was not because of you, it was for you. He was protecting you, just as I or any of your brothers would have done. He kept his promise in keeping you safe. None of that is on you. It’s all on Alex and, if you’re right, whoever else is involved.”

  I took a deep breath, because what I was about to say next was going to start one hell of a fight. It wasn’t going to be negotiable.

  “Everything that happens or is found out, I want to know. If I am kept in the dark at all during this, you will not like the outcome, I promise you that. I have not had control over my life for far too long. Please don’t be two more men that take that away from me.”

  After much arguing and debating they finally agreed. We then got to work on a plan of action moving forward. It wasn’t until I looked at my watch that I realized what time it was.

  “Shit! I have to go. Just let me know what’s going on, okay?”

  I gave them hugs and hurried out the door. I didn’t want to have to buy Jason some of that nasty fast food, so I hurried home to cook. I made one quick stop at the grocery store so I could get what I needed to make his supper. I wasn’t sure what I had on hand at home, but when I got to my house, Mary was there to help me.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “I want to make Jason some food. That hospital crap will make him worse.”

  Starting to prep the ravioli for his supper, I slipped on my apron and went about cooking supper. I talked to Mary about everything that happened. Unfortunately, I couldn’t stop the blush that spread across my face and down my neck when I talked about waiting for the results of his tests.

  “Wait, you aren’t telling me something. I can tell KK. What aren’t you telling me?”

  When I didn’t answer, she paused and stared at me for a moment. A huge smile spread across her face and she hit me in my arm.

  “You slept with him, didn’t you KK? You slept with him in a hospital?”

  “No, I didn’t sleep with him.”

  “What did you do then because I know you aren’t telling me something?”

  I told her what happened. There was no way I was getting away with not telling her. Besides, it was the first time I had ever had something to share and be sisterly about. It was kind of nice having someone to talk to.

  “Okay, Kay, seriously, hand jobs are all fun and games Hun, but if you aren’t ready to have sex with him, well, what about oral sex?”

  “What do you mean?” I whispered.

  The heat was rising to my cheeks, and I knew I was blushing.

  I knew it was a stupid question. I knew what she meant by oral sex, but what I didn’t know was how to do it and if I even could do it. It was definitely a weird conversation to have while I was cooking supper, but it was actually pretty interesting.

  “If you want him to be able to hold off until you are ready this might help. He is not in the wrong for wanting more. You are also not in the wrong for wanting to wait. It’s kind of like a compromise for you guys. A meeting ground if you will,” she explained while helping me pack up the food.

  I quickly grabbed a few non food items and ran out the door and headed for the hospital.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  ~JASON~

  The time passed slowly. I was bored out of my mind and I wanted Kayla. Everything was just simply better when she was around. It was an unfamiliar feeling to miss someone like that, but I did, and I wouldn’t change it. Checking the time for the millionth time that day, I worried that she wasn’t going to come back. The thought caused my heart to sink. I didn’t want to think about what could possibly be keeping her, but my mind kept going there.

  A chill ran down my spine as I thought about the marks from the last time he hurt her. Without giving it another thought, I jumped out of my bed and started to grab my clothes. As I reached the bathroom, the door opened, and I froze. Kayla walked in carrying a bag and looking flustered. My eyes roamed all over her to check for any kind of injury or sign of a struggle. I prayed I wouldn’t find anything.

  She looked up at me and stared. When her eyes dropped to the clothes in my hands, I knew I was in trouble. The thoughts going through my head made me smile.

  Yeah, she could punish me any day of the week.

  “Where the hell do you think you’re going?” she glared at me and put a hand on her hip.

  My mouth wouldn’t work; no words would come out. Instead, I just dropped my clothes and pulled her into my arms to hold her. I held her as tightly as I could without hurting myself. Burying my head in her neck, I breathed her in. She always smelled amazing, and it was a scent that I would never forget in my lifetime. It became a comforting smell for me.

  “Are you okay?” I whispered into her neck.

  “I’m fine. Why would you ask?” she laughed, but stopped. “Oh, I’m so sorry I’m late. I met with my dad and Eli today and lost track of time. Then Mary got to talking. I’m sorry if I worried you. I’m okay.”

  I just held her. It felt great to have her in my arms again and even better that she wasn’t pulling away. If there was any doubt on what she meant to me before, I knew now. I was never letting her go. Not as long as I could help it.

  I hadn’t even realized that she had been walking me back to the bed until my legs hit
against the railing. Pulling back, I looked down at her. Nothing was going to hurt this woman anymore. Nothing was going to hurt my love, my sunshine again. Smiling at her I leaned down slowly and took her lips with mine. It was the same electric, body, consuming kiss that it was every time we kissed. Her lips were always so soft. Her mouth was, so seductive and addictive. The feel of her tongue on mine made my knees buckle and I dropped to the bed. I pulled her closer to me and kissed her harder - more urgently. She was kissing me back with the same fervor. The need I felt for her was so intense, it was killing me.

  Every minute of every day, I thought about kissing her. I thought about touching her. Every night I dreamed about making love to her. She was everything I thought about, no matter if I was awake or asleep. Kayla was my life - my world. I pulled her closer to me; I just couldn’t get her close enough.

  Kayla pulled back and placed her forehead to mine. Her eyes were still closed and she was breathing just as heavily as I was. I closed my eyes to just enjoy her closeness.

  I want to tell you Kayla. I want to tell you how I feel, but I’m just not sure you’re ready yet. But, God, I want you to know how much you mean to me. Please don’t break me. You are the only one that could. Don’t break me, please.

  “Are you hungry?” she whispered.

  “Oh, yeah,” I said huskily as I ran my hand up her leg to her ass.

  She laughed softly.

  “Not that kind of hungry. For food.”

  “Yes, I’m that kind of hungry too.”

  She pulled back then and walked over to grab the bag I hadn’t even realized she had dropped. She talked over her shoulder as she started rummaging through her bag.

  “Sit back and get comfortable. I brought you real food.”

  “What kind of real food? Where’d you stop?”

  I smiled as I looked at the bag she’d brought from home. Taking that as a sign that she was going to stay. When I saw her pulling a bunch of containers, out I realized the bag was full of food, not clothes. My smiled faded and my heart hung heavy.

  “I stopped by the apartment and made you some ravioli and some other things. I didn’t want you eating fast food, and I knew the hospital food would only make you worse,” she said with a laugh.

  She cooked for me. She went out of her way for me. Even if she didn’t stay the night, she’d made something special for me, and that showed that she cared about me and my well-being.

  “Smells delicious.”

  I was starving. The hospital considered a lunch a tiny sandwich with some fruit and chips. It might have been a proper lunch for a three year old, but I was a man, and the sandwich was bland, tasteless, and unsatisfying. I looked forward to eating her cooking.

  She set the tray in front of me and placed all the containers on it, removing the lids. She walked back over to the bag and pulled out the silverware she’d packed in a Ziploc baggie.

  “Now eat up,” she smiled.

  I smiled back at her and started eating. It was no surprise, but the food was delicious. I shoveled mouthful after mouthful into my mouth. She sat there and watched me eat. When I started getting full, I patted the spot next to me.

  “Come here sunshine.”

  She moved over to me and sat down. I loved the feeling of her being close. I picked up a ravioli and held it to her lips. She opened her mouth and put the bite in her mouth. She closed her eyes as she ate. It was the most seductive thing I had ever seen, and she wasn’t even trying. Kayla truly enjoyed food, and she was savoring the bite. I could feel myself hardening just watching her eat. I fed her several more bites before I couldn’t resist and I took her mouth with mine. After a few minutes, I pulled back breathless.

  “Stay with me, Kay. Please, stay with me.”

  “What?”

  “Please don’t go. Stay at the hospital with me,” I pleaded.

  Two words were all it took for the world to stop, the time to freeze and my heart to soar. Two small words.

  “I am,” she whispered.

  I claimed her mouth in another mind blowing, soul searing kiss. She ran her hand up my arm and into my hair. The other, she rested in my lap. I was about to take things even further when someone cleared their throat.

  Pulling away, I turned and looked at the doctor. Saying that I was pissed off would be an understatement. Few things in my life had ever meant something to me - my parents and my sanctuary were the two main things. Now Kayla was way up on the list as well. I needed her – not just sexually, but every other way possible too.

  “What?” I said gruffly.

  There was no point in hiding my irritation.

  “I am here to check how you’re doing.”

  “Just fine. Ready to go home. Now you can leave.”

  Kayla smacked my shoulder and got off the bed. That only served to piss me off even more. Then the doctor watched her move to the chair. The way his eyes followed her and moved up and down her body was pissing me off.

  She’s mine, fucker!

  It was a low move, but it was the only one I had. I wanted this shit brick to know that she was mine and I knew how to prove my point. So, while Mr. ‘I’m a doctor so I can have whatever I set my eyes on’ continued to eye fuck my girlfriend, I lifted my sore arm, and had to clench my teeth to keep from screaming. I lifted it a little too far.

  That’s what you get, you fucking idiot!

  Groaning in pain I held my arm and hissed my breath out between my teeth. The desired effect happened; she was on the bed next to me comforting me. It wasn’t until I looked at her face that I realized what an asshole I was. She felt guilty for what happened. Her face broke my heart. Cupping her face with my good hand, I smiled at her and kissed her softly on the lips. For a moment there, I had actually forgotten that we were in mixed company until the fucker cleared his throat again.

  Kayla blushed, then got off the bed and moved back to the chair. This time the doctor focused on what he came in for. He checked me over and said that I would more than likely be able to go home tomorrow. He left with no further looks at my girlfriend. I looked back at Kayla. She was staring out the window and seemed to be a million miles away.

  “Sunshine?”

  She didn’t answer. So I moved over toward her and said her name. When she still didn’t reply, I touched her arm. She jumped and screamed a little.

  “Shit!” she breathed, holding her hand to her chest.

  I didn’t like it at all. She hadn’t been that skittish in a long time. Something had happened. As much as I would have liked for her to tell me, I know she didn’t like being pushed. It was time to lighten her mood and make her forget. Smiling to myself, I remembered what Nate had brought me with my clothes. I walked over to my bag on the floor, pulled on my sweats, and grabbed out my iPod. Flipping through the songs as I walked over to Kayla, I found the perfect song and smiled.

  “I think that we need a moment to forget everything. What do you think?” I asked as I pulled her into my arms.

  “Yes, please. Jason, help me forget,” she pleaded, and my heart broke.

  Placing one ear bud in her ear and the other in mine, I pressed play, and the song started. As we danced – me in my sweats and no shirt, her in her white T-shirt and very snug jeans - I enjoyed the feel of her in my arms. The feel of her pressed against me was a feeling I would never forget. Brian Adams’ “Please Forgive Me” played in our ears.

  “So if you're feeling lonely, don't… You're the only one I'll ever want… I only want to make it good… So if I love you, a little more than I should… Please forgive me, I know not what I do… Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you.”

  I whispered the lyrics softly in her ear. I wasn’t going to kid myself or anyone else for that matter. There was no way I was singing out loud. Even in my head, I sucked. Ruining our moment was not what I planned on doing, so I simply whispered the words to her. Her head flew up, as I knew it would when I whispered the last line. When our eyes met and I saw the tears in her eyes, I thought for a mome
nt I screwed up. But that was forgotten when she raised up on her toes and kissed me. I may not be the smartest man when it comes to reading women or feelings, but the way she kissed me that time was different. It wasn’t timid and cautious. That kiss was raw, and filled with emotion.

  Never had there been a point in my life where I had felt like that with anyone. It wasn’t just the sexual attraction, but a deeper connection. Her mouth opened and her tongue darted into my mouth, and I lost my train of thought.

  Whenever we kissed, it took over everything. My body hummed and I immediately went from soft to harder than I had ever been in my life. Her soft, smooth, delicate hands ran up my arms and wrapped around my neck. There was no stopping the groan when she pressed herself further into me. Moving my hand down, I grabbed her ass and pulled her into my erection. She moaned and it was a sound that would forever be implanted in my brain. A sound so sweet, but sexy as hell all at the same time, and it single handedly could have brought me to my knees if it weren’t for the fact that I was so caught in our kiss and reveling in every feeling that her kiss brought out in me.

  If there was a moment in my life I never wanted to forget, it would be those moments with Kayla when she forgot her horrific past and just relaxed, letting me see the real woman inside - the woman that I longed to pull out of the shell completely someday.

  Pulling her closer to me, I rocked my hips into her gently and she moaned every time. It was like going back to my teenage years and my first time with a girl. If we kept going, I could lose it with nothing more than a kiss and a little dry humping. I had to stop it. As much as I didn’t want to, I had to. There was no way the first time we were together was going to be in a hospital room with my arm in a sling. It was too big of a step for her to be degraded by such surroundings, and besides, anyone could come in at any moment.