Ready To Love Again

by Annalyse Knight

  She shook her head. “No, I’ve been on a large research vessel, but that was back in college.”

  “Then we should get you some Dramamine—smaller boats tend to rock more.”

  Chase was glad he’d checked to make sure he had everything when he prepared the boat earlier in the week. He went to the galley and popped open the safety latch on the cabinet, grabbing the box of medication and handing her a tablet before he put the box back.

  “You don’t get seasick?” she asked, and Chase laughed.

  “Uh . . . yeah, the first time I was on a boat, I spent the whole time with my head hanging over the railing.”

  She grimaced, and Chase smiled, trying to ease her mind. “It doesn’t bother me anymore. Some people never have a problem.”

  Katie nodded and walked further into the cabin. “It’s—she’s beautiful. What kind of wood is this?” She ran her hand across the paneling along the wall.

  “Older sailboats have teak decks and paneling, but with newer boats like this one, you usually need to request it. Teak weathers better in the salty air than other woods.” Chase took her hand and turned her around. “So this is the living area and the galley.” He pulled her to the bow of the boat. “There are two berths up front.” Pushing the curtains aside on both sides, he revealed a bunk bed on one side and a twin bed on the other. She nodded and bent to poke her head into the small sleeping area.

  “So a berth’s a bedroom,” she mused. “It’s tiny.” Katie leaned back and gave him a quizzical look. “I can’t imagine you sleeping in that small space.”

  Chase chuckled and shook his head. “That’s where the kids sleep.” He pulled her toward the aft. “This is the head.” He stepped into the small bathroom, and she peered in.

  “The toilet and the shower are in the same spot?” A cute wrinkle formed on her brow.

  “Yep. There’s not a lot of room in a thirty-six-foot sailboat.” He nudged her back into the hallway and pushed open the door to the master berth.

  “This is where we’ll sleep tonight.”

  Chase pulled her inside the small space, and she looked around with wonder. In the master berth, there was a queen-sized bed with a small cabinet for a closet. A built-in trunk sat along the starboard wall to the side of the bed. A windowed hatch, along with several portholes, let in a generous amount of sunshine from the corner of the ceiling. Chase looked back at Katie. She pulled his hand behind her back and stepped closer to him, tipping her head up to meet his eyes.

  “It’s perfect.”

  Those two little words eased the doubt he’d harbored since he began to prepare for their trip. Giving her a quick peck, he stepped back before he lost all control, picked her up, and tossed her on the bed. Her bottom lip jutted out in disappointment, and Chase brought his thumb up to trace it, turning her pout into a small smile.

  “We need to shove off, or we won’t make our destination before sunset,” he whispered.

  “You haven’t told me where we’re going.”

  He gave her a big grin but didn’t say anything. Katie released a disappointed sigh when she realized he wouldn’t answer, then followed him back above deck. “So what do you need me to do?”

  Chase shook his head and brought her to the helm. “It’s all electronic.” He flipped a switch, and the engine purred with a quiet hum.

  “I always thought it took a whole crew to sail a boat.”

  “It would be difficult to sail this by myself without the help of technology.” He backed the boat out of the slip. “I can override everything manually, but with Tony and Liz being children, I wanted a boat that would allow me to do it alone if I needed to.” They motored through the harbor until they hit the open bay. Chase flipped another switch, and the jib unfurled.

  “The jib’s that small sail in the front. It stabilizes the boat and helps steer. It’s up whenever we’re moving in open water.” Katie nodded in understanding, then looked back at the buttons and switches on the controls. He pressed another button, which hoisted the mainsail. When the wind caught it, Chase killed the engine.

  “Okay, there’s one more thing I want you to be aware of.” Chase pointed toward the mainsail. “You see the boom?”

  “What’s a boom?” She looked where he pointed.

  Chase chuckled, reminding himself there was a whole different language when on a boat. “It’s the part attached to the mast that’s parallel to the deck. It’s that thick, wooden beam level with your head. If the wind shifts, I’ll need to adjust the direction of the sail. If you’re not paying attention and it comes around fast, it could knock you off the boat.” He laughed at her horrified expression. “Don’t worry—I’ll shout ‘coming about’ if you’re near the boom.”

  A look of relief appeared on her face. Chase held out his hand and had her step in front of him. The slight breeze blew her hair over his shoulder, and he swept it to the side before he placed a kiss under her ear. Her hands came up to rest on his while he steered the boat.

  “It looks like we’re heading toward Santa Cruz.”

  He could hear the smiling approval in her voice. Chase nuzzled the crook of Katie’s neck and passed his lips over her ear. “Because that’s where we’re going.”

  Chase felt a shiver run through her body, and he smiled. He set the autopilot before he pulled her to the front of the boat where a padded, double lounge chair sat. Katie curled up against his side while he played with her hair. They didn’t say anything, just enjoying the sun against their faces and the quiet of the boat as it glided across the ocean waves.

  After a while, Katie’s deep breathing reminded him that she had a low tolerance for medication, and he should have expected the Dramamine to knock her out cold. The unexpected nap worked in Chase’s favor because he could set up dinner without her trying to help, but he couldn’t pry himself away. He watched her sleep until they were about halfway across the bay. Then he slid out from under her, grabbed a throw blanket from below, and laid it across her legs.

  Gina had dropped off dinner earlier that day. She’d convinced Giovanni to put together his famous cannelloni, so all Chase had to do was pop it in the oven for the recommended time. When it came to Chase and cooking, simplicity was best. Once the pasta was in the oven, he fixed a salad and gathered everything he would need to set the table before heading above deck.

  Katie hadn’t moved. He set up the fold-out table in the cockpit then laid out the fresh-baked rolls Gina had picked up from the bakery. She always remembered the small things. He noticed other personal touches she’d added throughout the cabin. A dozen red roses sat in a cubby by a porthole, tied down so they wouldn’t tip if they hit any large swells. She also had brought the nice dishes and wine glasses from the house. Chase chuckled when he remembered the plastic Barbie and Transformers plates that resided in the cupboard of the boat.

  Not very romantic.

  Looking around, he realized they had arrived at their destination. He made his way to the helm, flipped off the autopilot, and then lowered the mainsail and jib. Cold hands slid around his waist, dipping under his shirt and causing him to jump. Katie pressed her body against his back and sighed while she tried to warm her hands.

  “Did you have a nice nap?”

  She nodded against his back. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer.”

  “It’s because you’re a lightweight,” Chase said with a laugh while he motored closer to the Santa Cruz harbor.

  Katie slid under his arm until she was pressed against his chest. Icy fingers found their way against his back, making him shudder.

  “My hands are freezing.”

  Chase tried to contain his reaction and let her press her hands against his warm flesh. She rose to her tiptoes and kissed him, a small reward for his lack of complaint. He gave her another quick peck before motoring to a good spot to drop anchor. It was far enough from shore to have privacy, but close enough to see the lights from the Boardwalk. He cut the engine and released the anchor.

&nb
sp; “Is that the Santa Cruz Lighthouse?” Katie asked when she turned in his arms and rested her head against his shoulder.

  “Yeah. We’ve toured all thirteen lighthouses along the California coast that are open to the public. That was what we did on our family outings with the kids before—” His common sense told him to shut up, so he clamped his lips together. He didn’t think his girlfriend wanted to hear his memories of his late wife. The guilt gripped his heart and twisted—hard.

  Katie looked at him from over her shoulder, and all he saw was kindness and understanding. “What kept you going after she died?”

  He was cautious, afraid he was about to commit a faux pas. “Honestly? Elizabeth and Anthony.”

  “Tell me more about Terri.”

  A wave of longing washed over him, but this time rather than being for his long gone wife it was directed toward the compassionate woman in his arms.

  “She was gorgeous. I’ve seen the pictures on the mantel.”

  “Don’t be fooled by the angelic appearance. She wasn’t perfect. Her temper could scare a grizzly bear, and we had more than one fight when she made big decisions without consulting me.” He smiled when he remembered coming home to find that she had traded in his Hummer for the BMW, claiming it was better for the environment. Her logic hadn’t extended to the muscle car she’d owned since high school, of course. “Despite her exasperating moments, her finest attribute was that she was a loving mother. Tony and Liz were always her first priority. She told me her most valued times were the moments she could glimpse into our children’s souls.”

  “Did you want more children?” Katie asked.

  Chase closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. When Terri died, his dreams of a large family had died with her. He nodded but didn’t say anything more.

  Katie, clueless to the turmoil she had caused, laid her head against his chest. “I’d love to have more children . . .” She looked up at him with wide eyes and shook her head as if just realizing what she’d said. “But that doesn’t mean I want them right now. I mean, it’s not something I think about, just when I was married . . .” She groaned and buried her face in his chest. “I’m shutting up now.”

  Chase brushed aside his anguish and chuckled. “I know.” He put his finger under her chin and lifted her eyes to meet his. “I want to hear your dreams, especially the ones of the future.”

  “I don’t want you to think that I’m trying to replace your wife. I know you loved her. I just hope you can make space for me in your heart.”

  They stared at each other for several moments. The thumping of Chase’s heart was so loud in his chest that he wondered if she could hear it. The words he should say to let her know that her desire wasn’t one-sided wouldn’t come to his lips.

  He kissed her forehead and broke the silence. “Are you hungry?”

  She nodded, but not before he saw the flash of disappointment in her eyes. Chase mentally slapped himself for his stupidity and knew any attempt on his part to fix his slip-up would only come across as awkward and insincere. He led Katie to the cockpit, trying to divert the uncomfortable moment to something normal. The wind had died down to a gentle breeze, creating a pleasant temperature while the boat rolled gently back and forth. Chase brought up dinner while the sun slid into the horizon, staining the sky with brilliant pink and orange hues.

  “Let me guess.” Katie swallowed a bite of the cannelloni. “Francesco’s?”

  Chase nodded, watching her to see if there were any signs of the pain he’d seen minutes before—there weren’t. “I wasn’t about to ruin our evening with my cooking.”

  After that, their easy banter returned. Katie talked about her brothers and their wild pranks, and he filled her in on his disastrous attempt to sail the boat from San Diego after it had been purchased.

  “Gina had even less experience than Daniel at sailing, but she managed to get us into Santa Barbara while we were passed out from motion sickness. If I hadn’t known Liz and Tony would’ve been disappointed when I got home, I would have sold the boat right then.”

  He chuckled and poured her a glass of wine, enjoying the sound of her relaxed laugh. Chase took a long drink from his glass, and when he pulled it away, Katie’s eyes were fixed on his mouth. Desire flickered between them, and he knew the moment had arrived. Leaning across the table, she met him halfway, their mouths melding together in a slow kiss.

  Needing her closer, Chase pulled her out of her seat and into his lap, intensifying their connection. She sighed against his lips while he ran his hand up her leg and over her hip. His fingers ghosted along the hem of her shirt, touching the soft skin along the waistband of her jeans while their kisses grew more fevered. Leaning forward, he stood, bringing her with him until she was cradled in his arms.

  He navigated around the rigging and made his way to the cabin. Her warm mouth moved to his neck, and Chase growled low in his chest when she nipped at his ear. He managed to make it down the stairs without dropping her, squeezing them both through the narrow doorway to the master berth.

  Setting Katie on her feet, his mouth sought hers with a searing urgency. Chase felt the waves of desire he’d held back over the past months wash over him. Her fingers danced across his chest, but he didn’t realize she had all the buttons of his shirt unfastened until she pushed it off his shoulders.

  “Make love to me,” she whispered.

  Chase’s heart hammered harder in his chest. A mixture of nerves and desire coursed through his veins. He kicked off his shoes and brought her down onto the bed, sliding her up until she was nestled against the pillows. Their lips met again, but there was a shift in his purpose. Her request rang in his ears, and he wanted to take his time—to feel every moment and cherish the gift she was giving him.

  With skill and patience he hadn’t realized he possessed, he peeled off each article of her clothing while she fumbled with the buttons to his jeans and pushed them down. The creamy flesh of her stomach was smooth to the touch. He broke free from her kiss and reached for the last scrap of fabric that separated them, sliding it down her legs with slow precision. Reaching for him, she pulled him back to her while he positioned himself between her thighs and paused.

  “Katie?” he whispered against her lips, his insecurity palpable. Chase brushed away a stray lock of hair that fell across her forehead and met her unwavering gaze. Her fingers slipped down from his waist until they pressed into his backside, pushing him slowly into her.

  She smiled up at him when their hips met. Her reassurance was all he needed to help him over the last hurdle of his uncertainty. Chase rested his forehead on her shoulder, kissed her collarbone, and reveled in the feel of her. Her arms wrapped around him, and she held him tight, following each of his movements while their mouths eagerly sought one another.

  When had he begun to burn for her touch? She set off a round of fireworks inside him with the mere look in her eyes, and now his need for her skyrocketed into a shower of sparks that fueled his desire. He whispered his devotion while he pushed her higher, reaching for that last ember to fall, until they clung to one another through their release.

  Once they’d caught their breath, he shifted until his weight was pressed against her side and opened his eyes to see her watching him. Katie reached up to stroke his jaw, and he could see in her eyes the tender regard she felt for him. Chase took her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing her palm to show he would always treasure her. “You have a piece of my heart,” he whispered. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before.”

  She smiled up at him, and he hoped that the memory of his previous blunder would be replaced by this moment. Gently, he pressed his lips to hers before grasping the covers and pulling them over them both. Katie curled into his side while he held her tight, his hand rubbing softly up and down her back, and the gentle rocking of the boat quietly lulled them into a peaceful sleep.

  Chapter 14

  When Katie woke up, she knew there were still things they needed to discuss. Chase’s h
esitation the night before had sent warning bells off in her mind, and even though he’d opened up after they made love, she knew she needed to be careful. His indecision was apparent until the moment he slipped inside her, but she’d wanted him too much to analyze the reasons behind his reluctance.

  The physical experience was everything she had hoped for, but a nagging voice in her head told her that they should have waited. Katie wanted to have some kind of conversation with Chase to reassure herself they hadn’t made a mistake, but he kissed her and jumped out of bed to get breakfast ready before she could summon the nerve to say anything. After spending several minutes rehearsing the dialogue she wanted to have with Chase, she pulled on his robe and went in search of him.

  When she stepped out of the hatch, the crisp morning air made her shiver, even though the sun shone overhead. Not a single cloud was in the sky. Looking out over the bay, she marveled at the glassy, smooth surface of the water. She took a deep breath of the salty air and hummed in appreciation.

  Katie heard a soft huff of exasperation and turned to find Chase fumbling over a small vase of flowers in the middle of the table. He glanced up, and his furrowed brow softened when he saw her.

  “You’re beautiful in the morning,” he said, motioning for her to come to him.

  She touched her crazy hair and knew she must look frightening, but she was too captivated by the look of adoration in his eye to argue. Instead, she smiled and made her way to him. Chase took her into his arms, and she laid her face on his chest, memorizing the smell and feel of him. Everything about the moment was already overwhelming, and Katie considered overlooking the topic that might burst her happiness bubble.

  He kissed the top of her head and nudged her toward the chair. “I slaved over breakfast, so let’s eat.”

  Katie glanced at the table and was surprised to find French crêpes, bowls of fruit, whipped cream, orange juice, and champagne. She had her doubts that breakfast had been prepared on the boat. With this menu, all he had to do was open a few containers and empty them into pretty crystal bowls.