The worst part was, Kade never knew when they were coming or what would trigger them. Sometimes it would be months between incidents, and sometimes it would be only days or weeks. By the time he was a rebellious teen he purposely provoked his dad just so he wouldn’t have to live with the sinking feeling of uncertainty of not knowing when the next time would be. It was like he lived with a ticking time bomb and sometimes he would light the fuse so it would blow.
Kade rolled his shoulders back and lifted his hand to knock on the fiberglass door with the diamond-shaped window in the center when he saw something move out of the corner of his eye. He looked to his right and saw a gorgeous, gray dog chained up lifting his leg and pissing on the side of the trailer. He had a stocky build and wide head, a pit mix of some kind. His long tongue flopped out of his mouth and his breaths were labored.
“Hey bud.” Kade approached him with caution.
His tail wagged rapidly in the dirt and the closer Kade got, the faster it went. He had a collar but no tag. Kade stopped in front of him and held out the back of his hand. The dog tentatively inched forward and sniffed it briefly before giving it a good lick and then flopping on his back to expose his belly.
He bent down and gave him a good belly rub and that’s when he noticed the steel bowl turned over beside him. He picked it up and turned it upright. It had been in the nineties all day and the dog’s water bowl was dry as a bone.
How could anyone have a living animal, chained up in this heat, and not have water or shade for them?
“Asshole.” Kade muttered as he stood and grabbed the hose that was in a pile a few feet away. “Not you,” he clarified to the dog, who seemed to miss his belly-rubber.
The same tension that knotted in his shoulders when he was about to enter the cage curled in his muscles as he bent down and twisted the four-pronged knob on the spout. He tried to relax as he heard the swish of the water flowing from the faucet through the green tubing. This conversation, or confrontation depending on George’s demeanor was going to be difficult enough as it was, he didn’t need to go into it primed for a fight.
He filled the bowl to the top and placed it back on the ground as he patted the dog on the head. “I’ll be back,” he promised as the pup lapped up the water.
He only had an hour before the boys got out of school and he wanted to be there to pick them up. If he showed up late he was sure they would call Ali, and he didn’t want her to be bothered. Jess had filled him in on some of what KJ had been up to the past few months—after she’d threatened to castrate him if he “pulled another Houdini and hurt Ali”—and he didn’t want to leave any room for him to get into trouble and wreck Ali’s day.
Ali.
Just thinking about her had his body relaxing. She’d always been the bright spot in his life. Even before he’d realized that he had feelings for her, she’d always been able to make him smile, laugh, and forget about any bad shit that was going on. She and Patrick were the only constants he could depend on in his chaotic life. And now he only had Ali.
He knew no matter what he did she’d always be there for him, even if “being there” meant telling him he was being an idiot, which she had no problem doing. She was his safe place.
Now it was his time to return the favor. He needed to take whatever burdens he could off of her. So, it was time to get this over with and get back to what really mattered: Ali and the boys.
He turned to face the trailer once more.
No expectations, he reminded himself.
He called on what he’d learned in recovery to change the things he could and accept the things he couldn’t. He couldn’t change his dad, but he could change how he responded to him. All Kade could do was focus on controlling himself and his side of the conversation.
He rolled his head from side to side, blew out a breath, and shook his arms to release the negative energy.
When he closed his hand in a fist and knocked three times on the door, he still wasn’t sure he was ready to face what was on the other side, but he knew he didn’t have a choice.
Indistinguishable sounds came from inside before the door squeaked open. When it did, Kade took a step back. The man standing in front of him had the same dark gray eyes as George McKnight, the same strong jaw and arrow-straight nose, but the rest of him was unrecognizable.
At six foot four carrying a broad, muscular frame and a cold, menacing stare, his father was the type of man that people parted for when he walked down the street. The type of man that other men looked away from first. The type of man that walked into a room and the entire place quieted down.
When his dad was younger, someone had given him the nickname “Outlaw.” In Nashville, stories about George “Outlaw” McKnight were legendary. He’d made a man piss his pants with just a stare. He’d won a bar brawl against six men without a scratch on him.
All of his life, Kade had grown up with a father that was imposing, intimidating, and feared.
That wasn’t the same man that Kade saw now. This man looked small, weak, and feeble. There was a tube beneath his nose that wrapped around his ears and he was leaning on an oxygen tank beside him.
“Heard you were back in town,” George said as he turned his back to Kade and took two steps toward a thread-bare recliner.
Kade ducked his head and followed his father into the musty trailer and winced at the overwhelming smell of cat piss and cigarettes. When the door shut behind him, he noticed the vast array of prescription bottles on the TV tray set up beside the La-Z-Boy. There had to be at least a dozen, all different sizes. Some were short and fat, others tall and skinny.
A different kind of uneasy feeling settled in Kade’s chest.
“You’re sick.” Kade stated bluntly as he lowered down onto the bench seat in the kitchenette area.
Small talk had never been the McKnight way. If you had something to say, you said it. No pussyfooting around, was how his dad used to put it.
“Yep.” George’s attention remained on the twenty-four-inch console television that they’d had since Kade was a kid. The host of Antiques Roadshow just asked a man where he’d found his Benjamin Ward Chamber Clock and his dad seemed riveted.
“How long?”
“Six months.”
That number shocked Kade. “You’ve been sick for six months?”
“No, that’s how long they gave me.”
“Gave you…? You’re dying?” Kade waited to feel the relief that he’d always assumed would be his reaction when this news came. But it didn’t come. He didn’t feel anything.
“We’re all dying.” George wheezed and coughed before continuing gruffly, “And they’ve been giving me six months for the past three years so what the hell do they know?”
It didn’t surprise Kade that whatever was killing his father was having a hard time doing so. He was a tough SOB. “What is it? What’s wrong with you?”
“Throat cancer. Liver failure. Enlarged heart.”
“Fuck.” Kade leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands as he stared down at the Parquet flooring. “I’m sorry.”
“No you’re not,” George snapped and Kade looked up to see his father’s expression tighten. His lips pursed and if Kade didn’t know any better he would’ve sworn he saw tears forming in his old man’s eyes. “And you shouldn’t be. You shouldn’t even be here.” George motioned to the door, extending an invitation for his son to get the hell out.
Kade stood. He didn’t need to be told twice. “I just wanted to let you know that I’m moving back home. To Whisper Lake. I wanted you to hear it from me.”
George’s sharp nod was his only response.
Kade opened the door but stopped short of exiting. “What’s the story with the dog?”
“The damn thing showed up here after it had been hit by a car. I fixed up his leg and the dumbass went right back out and got hit again. The damn thing cost me six hundred dollars in vet bills. I had to chain it up so it’d stop playing chicken with
traffic.”
Kade hadn’t expected to hear that his dad had actually been trying to help the dog or that he’d spent money on the animal. “He was out of water and it’s ninety degrees outside.”
George sighed and his shoulders rounded in a defeated posture. “Dumbass knocks the thing over every morning. I don’t know what the hell to do. I was gonna bolt it down but I—” George started coughing again.
“I can take him,” Kade offered.
He’d planned on telling his dad that he was taking the dog, but that’s when he’d thought he’d been abusing him. It was clear to him now that the thing was too much for his father to handle.
“Good. Take him.” George cleared his throat and wiped his forefinger and thumb beneath his eyes. “I didn’t want the damn thing anyway.”
Kade never thought he’d see the day when he felt sorry for his father. But that was exactly what he felt now. And he wasn’t sure how he felt about that.
Before he left, he turned back once more to ask, “What’s his name?”
“Dumbass,” his father answered gruffly.
Right. Kade grinned. Dumbass.
CHAPTER 9
Ali paused as she slid her key into the front door. She’d only been gone for twelve hours but it seemed like so much longer. She felt refreshed and relaxed for the first time in ages and she didn’t want to open the door for fear of what awaited her on the other side. She no longer felt like she was on the brink of a nervous breakdown but she knew that could change in a second.
She took a deep breath and opened the door. The house was quiet. No television. No music blasting. Her eyes darted around the front room. To her great surprise, she noticed there were no shoes, no book bags, no dirty plates, and no soda cans strewn about. And if she weren’t mistaken, those looked like vacuum lines on the carpet.
Damn. Ricky must’ve cleaned up. As much as she appreciated her nephew’s efforts, it broke her heart to think of him cleaning on a Friday night.
A buzz sounded and she grabbed her phone out of her purse. It was a text from Jess that read:
Just wanted to make sure you didn’t turn into a pumpkin.
Ali smiled as she quickly texted back:
That’s the coach, not Cinderella.
Tonight had been just what she needed. Mindless entertainment, junk food, and engaging adult conversation. After the Grey’s marathon they’d ordered pizza talked about all the changes they wanted to make at work, gossiped about people in town, made summer plans, and debated which of Carly Phillips’s books was actually the best. For the record, Ali believed it was Hot Zone while Jess made a strong case for The Bachelor citing as evidence that it had been chosen by Kelly Ripa’s book club, Reading with Ripa. For several, precious hours, there was no mention of the twins, Patrick or Kade. They were just normal friends in their late twenties.
Before Ali knew it, she checked her phone and saw that it was almost midnight. A sense of panic gripped her that she’d let the time get away from her. She grabbed her shoes, purse and told Jess she needed to get back. Her friend made a smart ass comment calling her Cinderella freaking out that the clock was going to strike midnight.
In reality, what she’d feared was not a magical spell being broken, it was what KJ might be doing. Kade had texted and let her know that he’d picked up the boys after school and was going to take care of dinner, but that was it. Since then it had been radio silence. She hadn’t told him that KJ wasn’t allowed to go to anyone’s house except Ryder’s. Or that the boys weren’t allowed to be out after ten p.m. Both rules that had been implemented after late night calls from Ethan and trips to the police station to pick KJ up.
She heard a cabinet close in the kitchen and headed that way. There she found Kade standing at the counter, wrapping something up in tinfoil.
His back was to her and he was wearing charcoal sweats and a white T-shirt. Her eyes traveled over the dips and lines of his chiseled upper back that stretched the thin material. Then, she lowered her gaze to the rounded curve of his backside. Even covered with loose cotton it looked tight enough to bounce a quarter off of.
“Did you have fun?”
At the sound of his voice, her eyes shot up. She was relieved to see that he was still focused on whatever he was wrapping and hadn’t caught her staring at his quarter-bouncing ass.
“Umm…” She could hear her heart beating in her head, it sounded like the drumline in a high school band. “Yeah. It was fun.”
“Good. I’m glad.” He moved to the refrigerator, opened it, and bent down to place the tin foil covered dish inside.
Like a magnet being pulled by an outside force her eyes once again landed on his butt, now displayed like the piece of art it was.
“Are you staring at my butt?” Kade asked, his head still ducked in the fridge.
“No,” she denied as she felt heat rise up her cheeks. Licking her lips nervously she attempted to change the subject. “Um…do you know where KJ…or um…where the twins are?”
Kade slowly stood and shut the door and as he turned to face her, she saw that he was grinning from ear to ear. “You were checking out my ass.”
She sighed as if he was being ridiculous. “Your ego astounds me.”
He crossed his arms over his chest which showcased his well-built biceps and forearms as he leaned against the counter casually. “You stuttered. You always stutter when you lie.”
She did stutter when she lied, but she wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of acknowledging that or the fact that she’d been checking him out. “Where are the twins?”
“Asleep.”
“Asleep? It’s Friday.”
Kade shrugged and Ali watched as the muscles in his neck flexed. Damn, did every gesture he did have to be so sexy? How was a girl supposed to maintain an Elsa-Frozen-heart around her heart when her body kept flushing with heat?
“I guess between the early morning workout and their chores, they were toast.”
“Chores? KJ did chores?!”
“Yep. We all did. Ricky vacuumed and dusted, KJ cleaned the bathrooms, and I cleaned the kitchen. I also made dinner and did food prep for tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?”
Kade inhaled through his nose as he released his perfectly sculpted arms and rubbed his hands on his thighs as he pushed off the counter. “Yeah, I was going to talk to you about that. Actually, I have a few things I need to talk to you about. Can we sit?” He motioned toward the dining room table.
“Okay…,” Ali wasn’t sure what was going on, but after today at least she felt ready to hear what he had to say. Last night when he’d tried to talk to her it had been too much, but after her day with Jess, she had some currency in her emotional bank account to draw on.
Kade pulled out her chair and she sat and stared up at him expectantly.
“So, today I—,” He was suddenly interrupted by the sound of clicking coming from behind them. She glanced over her shoulder, and though she wasn’t sure what she expected to see, she definitely didn’t expect to see a dog trotting happily toward them.
“That’s a dog,” she said, pointing at the animal.
“That’s one of the things I wanted to talk to you about.”
“You got a dog?” she asked as she bent down and opened her arms, allowing the dog to trot up to her and lick her face.
She felt like she was living in The Twilight Zone version of her life. She’d had a relaxing day with her best friend to come home to a clean house, the twins’ safe and asleep, Kade prepping food in the kitchen, and the cutest dog in the world was there greeting her with kisses.
“Yeah. I guess I got a dog.”
“What’s his name?” Ali chuckled as she tried to avoid the slobbery licks that the dog seemed hell-bent on giving her.
“Dumbass.”
“Ha ha.” She was used to middle-school-boy humor since her nephews were that demographic but she was hoping it was something they would grow out of. Of course if her brother and Kade were any indi
cation, her hopes were in vain.
She kissed the dog’s head and slid back into her seat. “Seriously, though. What’s his name?”
“Dumbass,” Kade repeated as he circled the table and sat across from her. The dog dutifully followed him, wagging his tail as he went. She got it. There was a time she would’ve happily followed Kade, wagging her tail the entire way. “I didn’t name him. My father did.”
“You saw your dad?”
“I wanted to let him know that I was moving back. For good. He was taking care of this little guy—,” he bent down to rub the dog’s head.
“Wait, what do you mean, you’re moving back?” Ali’s heart slammed into her chest.
Kade nodded. “I’m moving back to Whisper Lake. That’s also one of the things I wanted to talk to you about.”
“How many things are there?”
“A lot. There are a lot of things I need to tell you.”
Ali blinked, trying to process all of the information she’d taken in in the past sixty seconds. Kade willingly went to see his father. He adopted a dog. And he was moving back. To Whisper Lake.
Now she really felt like she was in The Twilight Zone.
* * *
Kade figured he’d jump right in. Ali was here, she was listening to him, and this conversation was long overdue.
“First, I want to give you this,” Kade said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a bronze medallion.
Her fingers grazed his as she took it and he tried to ignore how soft her skin was and how good her touch felt.
She looked down at the coin. “What’s this?”
“It’s my one year sober chip.”
She lifted her head and recoiled slightly. “Sober?”
“Yeah, that’s where I’ve been. I was in rehab.”
“For a year and a half?” Ali’s eyes widened.
“No. I was in a ninety-day inpatient program and then I did another sixty as an outpatient. Technically, I’ve been sober for fifteen months. But I didn’t want to come back until I had a year in the real world. It’s one thing to stay sober in a controlled environment, it’s another to do it on your own.”
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