It was hard to breathe when he looked like that. She wondered if he would be able to sniff out her feelings, that they were deeper than just sexual, but she found that at that point, she didn't particularly care.
"Bits and pieces," she admitted. "It's hard to forget something like last night." She dared a glance up at him and swallowed, hoping to get courage for what she was about to say next. "You're breaking your own rule."
His eyes darkened and Danielle couldn't be sure if it was because of the seriousness of the conversation or if it reminded him that it wasn't in his nature to be so carefree.
"I am," he agreed. "We didn't-"
"I know," Danielle interjected. She glanced at her sheet-clothed legs before looking back up at him. "I know you wouldn't."
He furrowed his brow. "And how would you know that?" he asked. "You don't know me."
Danielle nodded once. "Maybe not," she agreed. "But I'm good at observing. And I know a bit more about you than you probably realize."
He huffed a denial.
"You don't have to pretend," Danielle said, a small smile on her face and a teasing glint in her eye. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone your deep dark secret. That you aren't as much of a hardass as you want everyone to think you are. That you wouldn't take advantage of a drunk girl who definitely wanted to do more than just kiss you last night."
He raised his brow but said nothing, a silent question in his eyes.
"Come on, you aren't stupid," Danielle murmured, feeling her cheeks blush. "You said it yourself, you could smell it on me. I wanted you then. I wanted you since our first night. Without seeming insecure, I'm surprised you want me. You have access to all of these gorgeous women - I saw the type of women who attend that club and there are more tens there than Hollywood - and last night, you were all over me."
"You're surprised." It wasn't a question.
"Yeah," Danielle said. "Don't get me wrong, I know I'm a catch. I just wouldn't imagine someone like you would be into someone like me."
"Someone like you?" Alek asked, quirking a brow.
"I'm the girl you take home to meet your family," Danielle said surely. "The sweet girl. The long-term relationship girl."
"And you don't think I'm a long-term relationship guy?" he asked.
She knew he was teasing but she still felt compelled to answer. "You're the type of guy you sleep with when you want to be bad. When you want to get over a boyfriend. When you want to fuck instead of make love. When you don't want strings. When you want a night." Danielle shook her head. "I've never been fucked the way you've fucked me. I'm not the type of girl to do the whole one-night stand thing and I don't think you've converted me by any means but..." She shrugged her shoulder. "It's just you, Alek. You're the only exception. And I'm okay with it. I'm just surprised you would want to go back with me."
He flicked her nose. "You really are a fool," he told her. He dropped his hand to her face, curling his fingers so his knuckles caressed her cheekbone and his thumb traced her bottom lip. "You don't give yourself enough credit." He paused, his voice so low she had to strain to hear him. "There's something about you that makes me feel... alive."
Danielle opened her mouth to respond but a buzz interrupted her.
“Breakfast,” Alek murmured as a way of excusing himself.
Danielle thought that was probably for the best.
9
Breakfast was Eggs Benedict with roasted potatoes and bell peppers. It was divine. The hollandaise sauce was the perfect balance between creamy and thick and it complemented the egg just right. It also helped ease the pounding headache that still caused her ears to ring. Her thoughts were still hazy but at least her stomach was full. It helped sharpen her focus. Alek's television was on in the background, flipped to a random news channel that neither of them were paying attention to. Danielle had yet to change out of Alek's shirt. She wasn't embarrassed by what she wore and what she didn't wear. Alek had made a good point - he had already seen her naked.
Stop trying to pretend that the reason you're still in his shirt is because he basically said how good you look in his shirt, a voice drawled across her head. It sounded suspiciously like Maggie's, which made more sense than Danielle wanted to give her credit for.
"Thanks," Danielle finally said when she was finished. "For everything." Her cheeks were tainted red and she couldn't quite look Alek in the eye.
Alek's eyes shifted over to Danielle, sculpting her face, taking in the curve of her nose to the plumpness of her lips. Danielle could feel his eyes slide over her facial features and her face got even redder. She wasn't used to getting so thoroughly scrutinized, especially by a man who looked like a Norse god.
"How are you feeling?" he asked, ignoring her signs of gratitude. Danielle wasn't sure if she should be grateful or mortified. Probably both.
"Better," she said. "The food really helped." She glanced over again, and now it was her turn to stare. His face was so symmetrical, so perfect, that she didn't understand how someone like him could be real.
"You look as though you want to ask me something," he said. Unlike Danielle, he wasn't blushing under her thorough scrutinization but maybe that was because, as a vampire, his heart wasn't technically beating which meant blood couldn't rush to his face.
But then how would blood rush to other parts of his body? Maggie's voice asked.
Danielle immediately put a halt to that train of thought. Instead, she focused her attention back on the television. A flash of a picture and then -
"...still no suspects in the disappearance of NDS agent Graham Darrow," the news reporter said. She was pretty in the way all news reporters were pretty - white, short blonde hair with bangs, red lipstick that matched her red suit - and her voice was clear but lacked any emotion. Like she didn't care. Which made sense because why would she? "The NDS has nothing new to report since September twenty-second, when he disappeared originally. We'll keep you updated."
"Darrow?" Danielle could feel Alek's eyes on her profile, watching her with intensity. "Any relation?"
"My father," Danielle murmured, more to herself than to him. She still stared at the television screen even though they were talking about the weather now. It was like a slap in the face, a reminder, that her father was gone. And that she was too busy with her life to notice.
She swallowed. From the corner of her eye, she watched Alek. She wasn't particularly sure why she even cared how he responded to the information she just gave him, but it helped her focus on something other than her father. He didn't shift uncomfortably nor did he offer any condolences. Instead, that mask of coolness he was so well-known for stayed on his face like a permanent thing, like a freckle, and she wondered what he was thinking and what he was internalizing.
Danielle wouldn't admit it but she was seeking comfort from someone. She needed to know that everything was going to be all right. Her mother had never been the type to lie to her, even when Danielle really needed to hear a lie, and her father had never been around much to comfort her anyway. Her friends were always incredibly supportive and always had her back but she didn't share the details with them for them to truly understand what she was going through and what kind of man her father was to her. Most days, Danielle hardly knew. Aubrey was probably the only person who understood what really happened to Danielle's father, and while they weren't the closest of friends, Danielle was pretty confident that Aubrey wouldn't say it was going to be okay unless she had the facts to back it up.
Which left Alek.
Which was ridiculous, because Alek was the last person she should be relying on for comfort in the first place. Based on their most recent conversation, she knew he was attracted to her and didn't seem to want to see her with anyone else. But that didn't mean he would give her comfort or be there for her when she needed him. It just meant he wanted to have sex with her when they were no longer teacher and student and finally were allowed to do so.
"Why do you look like that?" Alek asked, furrowing his brows as he
regarded her carefully. Danielle hadn't realized she was tearing up until a tear eclipsed her cheek. "Don't do that."
"I'm sorry," she said, surprised by the curt words coming out of his mouth. She hadn't expected him to comfort her but she also hadn't expected a lecture regarding her reaction to her feelings.
Alek leaned forward and gently placed his hands on her shoulders. "I don't know how to respond to crying," he admitted though his voice was strong and still filled with that arrogant pride she knew him to always have. "As such, I need you to stop."
"I can't just stop because you tell me to," she told him. She was proud of herself for not immediately getting defensive and she was proud that she wasn't hysterical. "This is the first time it really hit me that my dad is missing and possibly in danger. I barely talked to him my whole life and a lot of that is on him but he's still my dad. I get to react however I want. If you're uncomfortable, let me be, but don't make me feel bad for missing my father."
She watched as his throat bobbed and he looked away, clearly uneasy.
"It makes me feel..." His eyes ran across her face. She couldn't help but notice a vulnerability in his blue eyes, and in that moment, she didn't see a strong vampire before her, but a lost child. "Human."
Danielle shook her head and took a deep breath. Alek couldn't help her. How long had he been a vampire? Too long. He couldn't even remember what it felt like to be human. That one sentence said a lot and Danielle took it upon herself to take matters into her own hands and fix everything herself. She needed to be there for herself before she could rely on anyone else. And, she realized, that that was her problem in relationships and with being single. She was using somebody as a crutch, as an excuse to run away from her problems. Alek was the perfect distraction when her father disappeared and she wanted to feel what it felt like to flirt with someone again. But that didn't necessarily mean he was worth her time. That didn't mean he was worth her soul. She needed to be taken care of, not fucked. Although, if she was being honest, both would be ideal. And while Alek was astounding at the latter, he lacked at the former.
And the thing was, it wasn't really his fault. He never stated he wanted anything more than to fuck. She projected her expectations onto him because she did have some feelings that weren't purely sexual. And those feelings weren't his fault because he never led her on.
She really was a fool. But a fool who could change.
Without thinking, she tossed her legs over the bed and stood up. Her movements were too sudden, however, and she nearly lost her balance. Luckily, she placed her fingertips on the nightstand and caught herself in time.
"What are you doing?" Alek asked, his eyes latched onto her as though she were going to slip away from him and he had no idea how to stop her.
"I'm leaving," she said. "Do you have my dress?" She grabbed her phone and found she had eighteen text messages from her friends and Aubrey. Which meant she left without even saying anything.
Shit.
"Leaving?" Alek asked, puzzlement touching his features. She quickly shot off a text to her friends in their group chat letting them know she was okay - hungover, but okay.
"Yes." She picked her head up to look at him. "My dress?"
"You threw up on it," he told her.
Danielle winced. Of course she had. "Okay," she said. "Can I borrow this shirt, then? I'll get it back to you tomorrow - washed."
"Danielle, I-"
"It's fine." Danielle cut him off with a firm look. She wasn't being aggressive or even mean, but she didn't want to talk. She didn't want to argue. "My friends are worried about me and I have a paper I'm trying to finish before Thanksgiving break. I would rather not waste any more of your time. Or mine. But thank you for all you've done for me. You've taught me more than I'm sure you realize."
Alek clenched his jaw. "What about your legs?" he asked. "If you throw on the shoes from last night in my shirt, with your hair wild, people will think-"
"I don't care what they think," she said. And she meant it. Danielle gave him a smile and tossed her hair over her shoulder. "Listen, what we had was fun and amazing and pleasurable. You helped me do exactly what I wanted to do, and that was forget. But I need to get my shit together now. I can't run forever, you know?"
"So that's it?" he asked. His tone was still indecipherable. To untrained eyes, it sounded cold and unflinching, perhaps as though he didn't particularly care. But Danielle knew him well enough to know there was more to him than what he was showing. Maybe it was small and maybe it didn't mean much but it still meant something.
Danielle nodded. "You're free of me," she said. "You don't have to worry about me in class or even at Vampyre or if we happened to run into each other in the street."
"Free?" He tilted his head to the side as she grabbed her purse from the floor. "That would mean that you had me trapped."
Danielle glanced at him and shook her head. "You're right," she said. "There's no way I'd be able to trap someone like you."
"That isn't what I meant-" Alek said but Danielle interrupted.
"It's fine," she said.
Danielle stood up straight and looked at Alek. There were conflicting emotions that crossed his features, his arms crossed over his chest as he regarded her with cold, guarded eyes. Danielle tried to make out what he was feeling but then she realized that it would eventually be a waste of time. She needed to leave, and she needed sleep now. If she didn't, she would never leave at all. She would get sucked up into everything that he was and forget who she was. And she couldn't do that, not right now. Not when she needed to figure herself out first. And as much as she wanted Alek, she couldn't be with him. Not right now. Maybe not ever. She needed to be with someone who could handle her when she was happy and when she was sad. She needed someone she could count on.
And right now, the only person she could count on was herself.
Surprising herself, Danielle slid into her heels without stumbling. When she finally ready to leave she looked back and he hadn't moved it all. She gave them a soft smile stood up on her toes and placed a soft, chaste kiss on his sharp cheekbone. Her eyes closed and she didn't mind that she lingered a moment too long. When she stepped down, she noticed that his eyes were closed as well. But she wouldn't allow herself to read into that.
Instead, she took a step back and left. This time, for good.
10
Aubrey wanted to meet at Danielle's dorm room as soon as possible. If Alek hadn't reminded her that Danielle currently wasn't wearing pants, she would have left in his t-shirt and not cared one iota. He called her an Uber and even paid for it, which Danielle appreciated but told him how unnecessary it was. He waved her off without saying anything and made sure she got into the Uber safely.
Once she was on the road, Danielle rested her forehead on the cool glass. It was still overcast, typical weather for Somerset in late fall, and the feeling against her hot skin felt like a comfort. Her headache wasn't as bad as it was; now, it was a dull throb that came and went. Finally, she was able to process what happened to her in the past twelve hours. What shouldn't have happened but did. What she wanted to happen again...
She liked him. Maybe it was the booze that was still in her system but she could admit it freely to herself. She liked him. More than just the way he looked but who he was. Yes, he was kind of a jerk but he pushed her to be a better thinker, got her to see things she otherwise wouldn't have, and made her want to be a better person. It didn't help that he was flawless and was an unselfish lover and the way he looked at her without speaking sometimes with those icy blue eyes...
She shuddered just thinking about it.
But this was very, very bad news. Now that feelings were involved, things got complicated. At least on her end. There was a good chance that Alek did not feel anything for Danielle save for attraction. Danielle wished that was it. She wished she hadn't fallen for him, but there was just something about him, about the way he looked at her, that made her feel more.
It didn't take lon
g before the Uber dropped her back off at campus. The tricky thing now was doing the walk of shame across campus to get to her dorm. She was appreciative of the fact that it was relatively early for the university so not many people would be out and about. As such, at the very least, she hoped she wouldn't run into anyone she knew.
Danielle almost made it back without seeing one face at all up until the point she heard her name called. If she had any sense, she would have kept walking without stopping, a sign that perhaps the person had mixed her up with someone else. She would have had time to get to her dorm, change, and expect whoever it was that recognized her if they came knocking. She could have pretended it wasn't her in the first place. But she didn't do that. She stopped and forced herself not to turn around. She gave herself away.
Shit.
"Dani."
Her heart stopped beating for a fraction of a second when she realized just who it was that was calling her name.
What the hell did Ryder want?
It didn't matter. Just because he was calling her did not require her to stop. As such, she continued walking, even with Ryder's insistent calls. She couldn't tell if he was upping his pace to keep up with her or not. Either way, she made it to her room before he did and she was able to skip inside and shut the door.
Once it was securely locked, she leaned against it and closed her eyes. Aubrey would be here at any moment. Her legs were cold. And while she wasn't hungry, she knew she wanted to drink more water lest she get dehydrated once more. As such, she threw on pants, kicked off the heels, and downed a bottle of room temperature water. Ryder didn't come to the door. At least, no one knocked. She tried not to think too much on that simply because she didn't want to give him the satisfaction of thinking about him in the first place.
Danielle all but plopped on her kitchen chair - exactly where she had been sitting last time Aubrey came over - pulling her head in her hands and trying her best not to go to sleep. Now that the majority of her basic needs had been fulfilled - food, water, no more headache - she wanted nothing more than to crawl into her bed and nap the rest of her weekend away.
The Somerset Series: A Box Set: Books 2-4 Page 37