by Ruby Dixon
Does she like the thought? There is only Josie and Tee-fah-nee left amongst the humans. Does she speak of herself, then? “Then I would wish to please her.”
“There’s more than kissing, of course. There’s touching. And caressing.” She bites her lip and shudders. “I…need practice with all of that.”
Her face is averted but I can tell from the hunch of her shoulders that she has gone to a bad place. My entire body tenses with the need to comfort her, but I know my touch is not welcome. This here, with her cringing, is my greatest concern – what if Tee-fah-nee loathes my touch because others have taken from her? The idea destroys me.
“I am still deciding,” I bark at her and storm out of the cave. I must leave before she becomes more frightened, or my need to hold her and comfort her becomes overwhelming.
I do not know what to do. I need advice. Aehako is off on a hunting trail, and many of the other males have never had a mate. There is Hemalo, but he does not make his mate Asha happy. He is not the one to ask for advice.
There is one that springs to mind, though.
• • •
SALUKH
When I wake up the next morning, Taushen is bragging to Haeden. “I have won two of the red seeds so far and no one else has won a single one.” He shoves them proudly under the surly hunter’s face. “I will have my time alone with Ti-fa-ni and then she will resonate to me!”
I roll out of my furs, irritated. I’m still irritated after I relieve my bladder outside and grab a bite of yesterday’s smoked meat for a meal. I should go out hunting. Get some game. Clear my head of my worries about Tee-fah-nee and the men who endlessly chase her. It does not matter if they chase her. She will resonate to me. She will be my mate and all of their silly seeds will matter not at all.
I return to the cave to retrieve my spear and see Taushen is grabbing his nets. He grins at me. “I am off to catch the biggest kes-fish in the river! Wish me luck so I might bring home a third seed.”
I narrow my eyes. I do not want him to have luck. But he is in high spirits and ignores my silence, heading off to meet the others for their day’s competition.
Haeden looks over at me and his lip curls. “You do not join their game to win favor from the females?”
I shake my head. “I am busy.”
“Your hands are idle,” he says, tightening a spear-head with a bit of leather and then getting to his feet. “There are many to feed and more every day. We have no time for the entire cave to sit about and mope over whether or not the females like them.”
Is that what I am doing? I eye Haeden as he straps on his boots. He and I think alike: courting is nothing, because resonance is all that matters. But I have been offered an incredible temptation, and I do not know if I am strong enough to hold out for my khui to catch up to my heart. “What do you hunt today?” I ask him. I will join Haeden and discuss my problem with him. Haeden has felt the pull of resonance. He has had a female in the past. He has much knowledge. “Snow cat? Quillbeast?”
“Dvisti.”
I grimace. “So many dvisti.” I think of Tee-fah-nee’s words. She likes the animals and would not be pleased to hear of me hunting them.
“Much meat. Little effort.” He straightens. “Are you coming?”
I nod and get my own spears. He’s right. There are many mouths to feed and with so many pregnant females, all of the hunters feel the urgency to fill the stores and ready for the next brutal season. This last one wiped out all of the stored food and with this upcoming turn of the weather, there will be more young than ever. No one must go hungry. Dvisti must be hunted, no matter how beautiful Tee-fah-nee feels about it. She is practical. She will understand.
Haeden and I set out from the caves and cross into the next valley before we catch sight of a trail. Dvisti leave a distinctive hoof print in the snow, and they are easy to follow. Haeden is silent, communicating with a nod and a pointed finger where we should go. I let him lead, my head still full of thoughts of Tee-fah-nee and the men who wish to claim her. If I join their challenges, what then? What if another wins over me through luck? I am more skilled in the hunt than Taushen, but Hassen is a very capable tracker and strong. Vaza has much knowledge because he is elder. And Bek? Bek is so stubborn he is like a fang-face that will latch onto something with his teeth and never give up.
The thought of competing with my tribe for Tee-fah-nee irritates me. I am full of irritation this day. The hunt will be good.
We find a nearby herd and close in. The wind changes as we circle wide, and the dvisti get nervous at our scent. Haeden gives me a frustrated look, as if this is somehow my fault. When we close in, they scatter and my spear lands wide of its mark. Haeden’s brings down a fat dvisti and the rest of the herd flees over the next hill.
“Piss poor hunting,” Haeden comments as we trudge through the snows to retrieve our weapons. “Your aim was worse than a metlak’s.”
So it was. I’m distracted still, thinking about Tee-fah-nee. I snatch my spear from the ground. “I have a problem, Haeden.”
“I agree. Your aim needs work.” He jerks his spear out of the dvisti and then bends over to slice the throat open and drain the blood.
I laugh. “If only that were the problem that troubles me.”
“It should trouble you,” he says sourly.
“I am worried about my mate.”
“Eh?” He looks up from his cutting and squints at me. “Did you resonate?”
“Not yet. But I shall.”
He snorts and turns back to the kill. “Foolishness.”
I clench a fist and hold it over my heart. “I know Tee-fah-nee is mine. I feel it in my spirit. It is just a matter of waiting for my khui to respond.”
“So you say.” Haeden’s voice is thick with disbelief as he slits the belly of the creature open and begins to remove the offal. Once he has finished dressing the kill, he will tie it to his spear and bring it back to the cave for the others to use, and then he will return out to check his traps. Haeden hunts tirelessly, out longer than anyone else in the tribe. I think some of it is so he can escape his own thoughts.
“I do say.”
“Then what is the problem? I do not know how to make a khui sing.”
I lean on my spear. “Tee-fah-nee has been…hurt. She does not want a male’s touch.” He looks up at me, puzzled, and I explain the situation as best I understand it. That the ones that brought her here took mating from her without her permission, and that the others frighten her. That she wants to practice in the furs with me. All the while, Haeden’s brows draw together until he’s frowning fiercely at me.
“The female you want invites you to her furs and you spend the day yipping at me?”
He doesn’t grasp what I am worried about. “I was saving myself for resonance. I wanted her to know she is mine forever before I touched her. But now I worry that if I touch her and she reacts badly, it will not go well. I worry that resonance will overpower me and I will hurt her.”
Haeden shakes his head. “So take her and make her scream. Lick her long and hard and she will forget everything else.”
“But…there is no resonance. Not yet.” I rub my chest, encouraging my khui. I firmly believe that I will resonate to none but Tee-fah-nee, but there is a small part of me that is filled with doubt. “What if I give her pleasure and then she resonates to another?”
“Then she resonates to another,” he says flatly. “I thought you were certain she was to be your mate?”
“I am. But I do not know if my khui is listening. I…do not want to have her just to lose her.” The thought makes me ill. I would wish her happiness if she resonated to another, but for me, it would be unending misery. “What do you think I should do?”
“I think you should stop yipping and start acting.” He stands up, wiping his hands. “Do you want to touch her?”
“More than anything.”
His gaze is hard. “And she is offering herself to you? Despite her fears?”
I
nod.
Haeden’s face is hard, unyielding. His jaw clenches and he casts his gaze around before finally fixing on me with hard, blazing eyes. “Then why do you hesitate, Salukh? Take what you want and do not question. Enjoy each time you touch her. Treat it as a gift. If you do not take this and you lose her, you will forever regret each wasted moment.” His voice catches on the last word, and then he turns away, kneeling next to his kill again. His hands move quickly, as if he’s determined to somehow outrace his thoughts. “Do not leave yourself with nothing.”
He’s in pain. I can tell that from his posture, the stiffness of his movements. It’s clear to me that he’s thinking of before, when he resonated and lost his mate before he could touch her. Does he regret it every day? Is he filled with loneliness? He’s a friend, and I hate that he’s so miserable. I reach out and touch his shoulder. “You know, there is a human female that has no mate—“
He flings my hand off his shoulder and glares up at me with furious eyes. His voice is deadly. “There is nothing for me.”
I stare at him, shocked at his vehemence.
Haeden closes his eyes and gives a small shake of his head. “Leave me be, Salukh. Go and chase your female.” He returns to gutting his kill.
I watch him for a moment, then turn to leave. It’s obvious he does not want my company. He wants to be alone with his miserable memories and his self-hate. But I’m not ready to go back to the caves yet. The thought of returning empty-handed when the other males are being praised for their efforts in the competition? It will not do. So I track the dvisti herd, following it over the rise and down into the next valley. There is still time before the twin suns go down, and I am in no rush. When I find the herd again, I skirt wide, careful of the wind and paying attention to the creatures. If I throw my spear again and miss, someone will go hungry. I must be careful. I crouch low in the snow and wait for the dvisti to forget my presence.
My mind is full of Tee-fah-nee and her warm skin and her small human body. The graceful way she moves. If I close my eyes, I can imagine her scent enveloping me. How fine would it be to be able to touch her? To lick her sweet body and bring her pleasure? I can hear mating pairs in the caves late at night, and I know it’s important to bring your female pleasure, preferably more than once. I want nothing more than to please her with my touch. My cock grows hard at the thought and I want to free it from my leggings and stroke myself to pleasure at the simple thought of her. I won’t, though. I’m going to save everything I am for her.
I am going to take her up on her offer, I realize. It does not matter that we do not resonate, or that four others vie for her attention.
She is mine and it is time I claimed her.
Renewed, I slowly get to my feet and move toward the herd. They have wandered away a short distance, their movements easy and unafraid. I eye the herd, looking for one of the weaker, an easy mark. I do not want sickly, because diseased meat is no good. Nor do I want a healthy buck or a nursing mother, because the dvisti tribe must stay full of young for next year’s meals. My gaze falls upon a shaggy mare at the back of the herd. She has a kit at her side, small and bleating. One of the mare’s hoofs is raised up out of the snow, and when the herd moves forward again, she limps behind, slower than the others.
She and her kit will be easy prey for the next predator in the area. She will fall behind the safety of the herd and the snow-cats will be on them, tearing them to pieces. This will be my hunt for the day, then. I ready my spear, and then hesitate. My gaze falls on the kit. It’s very small and young, and I think of Tee-fah-nee’s words. She likes the dvisti. They remind her of animals she owned back at her home.
I think of Sessah and the small two-tooth he feeds back at the main cave. It’s practically tame, scurrying up to any of the tribe in hopes of a handout. The thing is ugly and fat but Sessah adores it.
The kit bleats at its mother, searching for her udders. The female limps and shifts on her feet, nosing the baby away. She will not feed it while her leg hurts her, and it scurries around her, making hungry noises.
I creep up on mother and kit, keeping low to the ground. My movements are slow and patient, and it takes many long breaths before I make it close enough to launch my spear. The others in the herd are wandering further away, and still the female limps behind, her kit bawling its hunger.
I strike, racing forward. The dvisti herd panics and flees in a storm of hooves and angry braying, heading out of the valley. The female tries to limp after them, but she does not move fast. I’m able to move up on her quickly and throw my spear at short range, right into her neck. It gushes blood and she collapses to the ground, dead. As I walk up to my kill, the baby bleats and circles in the snow nearby, confused at the smell of blood. When it doesn’t leave and the herd does not return to round it up, my mind is decided. I dress my kill quickly and when it’s ready, I look around for the kit.
It stands nearby on thin, twiggy legs, blinking bright blue eyes at me. It bleats again and then races away a few feet, then begins to circle back toward its dead mother. I slowly remove my cloak and hold it out from my body, creeping up on the dvisti kit. “Come, little one,” I croon. “You will be a fine gift for my Tee-fah-nee.”
It whines at me and prances away, skittish.
I continue to move slowly, and when the kit does not flee, I fling my cloak over it and then pounce, neatly trapping it under the fur. It screams then, and bites at my hands when I wrap it in the cloak and tuck it under my arm. It’s a biter, and it’s in a panic. The breath hisses from me when its tiny teeth clamp down on bare skin.
I swear under my breath and hold it tighter as I get to my feet. The little creature kicks and bites me again, but I don’t release it. “You are for my mate,” I tell it. “Best you behave because it is a long walk home.”
It bleats plaintively in response.
Juggling my dual burdens is not the easiest task, because the dead mother is unwieldy and heavy, and the child is wriggling and angry. I eventually manage to tie the mother’s legs to my spear with one hand – my other arm holding the kit captive – and sling it over one arm. The child I keep tucked against my chest, and I ignore when it starts to chew on my hair.
If it must bite something, then it can bite my mane.
Chapter Five
TIFFANY
I study my rows of planted seeds, hoping for a sprig here or there. Right now, there is nothing, just an upraised row in the snow where the earth was piled back onto them. Frustrated, I move down the row I’ve marked with a few sticks, but there’s nothing to be seen. Surely plants here can’t be that different from plants on earth, can they? The snow is throwing me off, but it’s still water, and plants need water to grow. I shove my fingers into my glove and then kneel near one of the small mounds, digging. There has to be something. If there’s even a hint of a sprout on one of my seeds, I’ll have hope.
I dig down maybe a foot into the snow and stop when I see a hint of pink threading through the white. Sure enough, one of my seeds has sprouted and is pushing its way through the snow. It’s working! Excited, I pile the snow back on top with a pat and get to my feet. Wait until I tell Salukh!
As if my thoughts have summoned him, a familiar male silhouette appears on the ridge, burdened by a kill. He seems to be walking strangely, and I dust the snow off my hands and surge forward. Is he hurt? He’s moving slow. For a moment I almost think it’s one of the elders, but there’s no mistaking the way Salukh’s horns curve up at the ends, or his long fluttering hair. He drags a dead dvisti behind him and cradles one arm against his chest, and my heart hammers. Does he need the healer? Maylak’s at the other cave, though, and it’s at least a half a day’s journey to get to her. “Salukh, are you all right?” I call as I push through the snow to get to his side. “Can I help?”
“You can help,” he agrees, and as I get to his side, he thrusts a cloak-covered bundle into my arms. “Cursed thing bit me all the way here.”
I blink in surprise as the bundle tr
ies to leap from my arms and bleats angrily. I tighten my grip on it and stare at the hunter. “What is this?”
“A dvisti kit. The mother was lame and so she became fodder for my spear. But I could not kill the young one. I brought it for you.”
“Me?”
“Yes, you.” He drops the spear on the ground, letting his kill tumble into the snow, and then rotates one big arm, rubbing sore muscles. “Ah, that feels good.”
I try not to watch as he rubs one big blue bicep, but…mercy. Those are big biceps. Hard, too. The creature in my hands wriggles, and my attention turns back to it. “I…do you guys even do pets?”
“Sessah has a two-teeth he feeds back at the main cave.”
“And no one tries to eat it for dinner?” I don’t want to get attached to something only to come home and find someone roasting my pet.
“I will not allow them to touch it.” His words are so sure, so bold.
I feel a weird surge of warmth and smile at him.
He reaches forward to uncover the creature’s head, and then two big, blue, khui-lit eyes are gazing at me. The head is tiny, a bit like a fawn, but covered in long, crazy fur like a sheepdog. It bleats angrily at me.
And I laugh because it’s so ridiculous looking and cute at the same time. It’s all nose and googly eyes and shaggy hair. “I love it.”
He gives a masculine grunt. “I am glad it pleases you.”
“It’s sweet of you to think of me,” I admit. I’m endlessly showered with useful things by the other guys, but this is the first time someone’s thought to give me something completely…frivolous. And a pet truly is frivolous in a setting like this, but I really love it, and I love that Salukh was so thoughtful. “Thank you.”
His gaze burns into mine. “I have been thinking upon your words, Tee-fah-nee.”
I shiver. The way he says my name always makes me think he’s mentally caressing each syllable, and it makes me feel things that I thought were long gone.