by Ruby Dixon
Then, hot warmth spills into my mouth. I look up at him and see he’s watching me, so I open my lips and let his spend slide down my lips and chin, because it’s the most obscenely sexy thing I can think of. And he comes even harder, gritting my name out between clenched teeth and covering my mouth in endless amounts of his come.
He falls back to the floor a moment later, taking a huge breath, and I use the back of my hand to wipe my chin clean.
“I am undone, my mate. You have unraveled me like a knot.” His hand reaches up to caress my cheek, even as I use the hem of my tunic to clean myself up.
“I’m glad you liked it,” I tell him with a smile. I kiss his palm and hold his hand to my face.
Just because we’re not mated for real doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy each other.
Chapter Sixteen
TIFFANY
The orange, scaly hand moves along the bars of my cage. There’s no escape. Even in here, we’re so cramped we can barely move, and another girl’s stinking flesh is pressed against mine, her body cold with fear-sweat. The alien guard stares at us with those weirdly-lidded eyes, and then his hand raises. He’s pointing.
He’s pointing and I should move, because if he points at me, I’ll be chosen.
I try to move away, but there are arms and legs everywhere, and that finger keeps pointing closer and closer to where I am. I can’t let it land on me though. Not me. Not me.
I belly-crawl on the floor, not caring about the filth that cakes my clothing as I do. There’s a space behind one of the other girls and I worm my way toward it. I don’t care that I’m pushing someone else in front of me, I just…I can’t be chosen.
Not me.
Her, the creature says, and there’s screaming and gasps of horror. The girl in front of me, the girl I’ve burrowed behind is grabbed and dragged away. I sit up, shocked, as a familiar round face contorts in horror.
It’s Josie.
I’ve traded my safety for hers.
“Wait,” I cry out. “Not her! I didn’t mean to push her in front of me!”
No one’s listening. Josie kicks and screams, but they’re still taking her away. I try to get up, but it’s like my legs are full of cement.
“Wait,” I cry out again.
A hand touches my arm, startling me. I open my eyes, not really seeing Salukh’s face near mine. I’m still lost in thoughts of the cave, of Josie.
But I can move now. I can move, and the need to escape is overpowering. Everywhere I look, I see metal and spaceship, and it’s just like when I was stuck in the hold when the aliens first grabbed me. I can’t take it.
I have to get out.
I bolt up from the warm bed of furs I’m sharing with Salukh and race toward the closed doors of the old ship. “Open up,” I scream. I need out. I need sunlight.
There’s a sound like ice cracking, and then the doors slowly slide open to reveal…
More white.
There’s nothing but white snow piled on top of white snow. There’s no sky to be seen. We’re completely buried.
“Tee-fah-nee?” Salukh walks up behind me and gently touches my arm. “What is it?”
I shrug his touch off and start to claw at the snow. It’s wet and cold, and falls forward in massive clumps, chilling my body. I keep clawing, desperate to see sunlight, to dig a tunnel so I can see the sky above. So I can know I’m on a planet and not back in space.
“Tee-fah-nee?”
“I have to get out!”
“Why? Why do you do this?” He pulls me away, and my fingers feel like ice-cubes, wet with slush and holds them in his big warm hand. “You will harm yourself if you continue—“
“I have to save Josie,” I tell him, hot tears starting to spring to my eyes. My nightmare flashes through my head. The dream is calling me out for being a coward, because I sacrificed Josie’s safety so I could stay here with Salukh and play house. And now there’s God knows how many feet of snow on the ground and she could be out there, turning into a human popsicle—
“Jo-see is likely back at the main cave now, drinking warm tea and sitting around the fire.” He rubs my arm and then steps in front of the snowy mess I’ve been making. “Why all the panic over Jo-see?”
I bite my lip and fight the sob threatening to escape. “She traded her safety for me! She’s not safe!”
He leans down and cups my face, staring into my eyes. “Tee-fah-nee, life is not safe. Life is full of danger. There are sweet parts and there are terrible parts. The not-knowing is what makes it worth living.”
I tremble, my body caught by his intense stare. “I’m afraid.” God, I’m afraid of so many things.
“It is normal to feel fear.” His thumbs brush away my tears. “But you cannot let it control you, Tee-fah-nee. You must accept that there will be things in life that are not good, but they are outweighed by the good things. If there were no bad, we would not appreciate the wonders that life has to offer. There will be fear, but you must not let it win.” He smiles down at me, so wonderful and so understanding. “Jo-see is fearless. She knew it was dangerous to go, and she was afraid, but she did not let it control her. She made her choice.”
I breathe in and out slowly, taking in his scent and his touch.
He’s right.
I’m so tired of being controlled by my fears, of endless worry and being afraid to say the wrong thing and upsetting someone. I cling to his hands, tears rolling down my face. I think I’ve lived in a state of constant panic ever since we arrived here on the ice planet. That’s why I’m so determined to stay busy – because if I’m productive and I work hard, no one will fault me. No one will notice that I’m causing trouble or that I won’t pick a man if I do other things. No one will see just how scared I am, or how broken inside.
He’s so right – Josie is fearless. She doesn’t let the past destroy her. She makes her choices and looks forward to every day. If she’s not fine, it’s because she chose to do something with her life. Me? I’m the one that stays behind and huddles, afraid.
I’m so tired of being that girl. I can’t keep living this way or I’m going to lose everything.
I look into Salukh’s eyes. He’s been so understanding all through my head-games. I didn’t choose him when I should have spoken up and put an end to the games, and still he loves me. I’ve pushed him aside and when he’s asked for sex, I’ve given him alternatives because I wanted him to save himself for someone else, even though he says I’m his mate.
It’s time for me to stop pushing him away. It’s time for me to live, too.
I have to make my own choices, like Josie. I can’t wait for life to come and decide things for me. I have to grab at what happiness I can find.
“You’re right,” I say softly. “I can’t be afraid anymore. I’m going to do better, I promise.”
He nods at me, and straightens his big body. He pulls me against him in a warm embrace and I go into his arms easily. He’s been there for me every step of the way, and I close my eyes and press my cheek to his chest, enjoying the feel of his big body against mine.
I’m always going to have the nightmares. Maybe they won’t ever completely go away, because my past won’t ever go away. But it doesn’t mean I have to let it rule my life. It doesn’t mean I have to let one bad moment destroy any sweetness and love I can find for myself. I need to trust.
More than that, I need to take a chance.
“I love you, Salukh,” I tell him. I look up into his shining eyes. “You’re my mate. No matter what happens, you’re mine.”
“Of course I am.”
He doesn’t understand what I’m trying to say here. That I’ve chosen, really chosen. That I’m leaping forward. But it’s okay. I can show him just as easily. “From now on,” I tell him, “I’m going to live my life. And if anyone doesn’t like it, they can suck it.”
“Suck…it?” He frowns, clearly puzzled by my words. “What would they suck and why?”
“Aren’t you cute?” I grin up at hi
m. “It’s a human expression, and one that doesn’t need to be described. Just go with the flow.”
He tilts his head, adorably confused. “Flow?”
“Never mind.” I take his hand in mind and drag him away from the door and the flood of snow now melting there. “Let’s go back to bed, shall we?”
“Are you yet tired?” The look on his face changes to one of concern.
“Nope.”
“Are you hungry? I can feed you—“
He’s going into protect mode. Sweet man. I continue to pull him toward the furs, taking care not to put much weight on my bad ankle. I’m not hungry, not thirsty, not anything other than filled with the need to fling him down in the furs and claim him as my own. To take charge of my life. To love him and have no regrets.
I feel good now that I’ve decided it, like the last puzzle piece has slid into place. I feel calm and settled. This feels right. His hand in mine feels right. And when his body is over mine, that’s going to feel right, too, I just know it.
“Are you sure you wish to sleep after your bad dream?” He seems skeptical. “I will stay awake and keep you company if you like—“
“No one said anything about sleeping,” I tell him, and step into the furs. Then, I turn and give him a sultry look and begin to peel my clothing off my body.
His eyes gleam with understanding. “Back to the furs, but not for sleep.”
“Bingo.” I undo the laces at my neck. I’m wearing several layers of warm clothing, and they’re not sexy, but it doesn’t matter. I feel sexy around him, regardless of what I have on.
“I shall not even ask what that word means,” he murmurs, and when my laces are loosened, he helps me pull the heavy outer tunic over my head. I have a second layer on underneath, and it comes off just as quickly, leaving me in my leggings and the wrap I use as a bra.
“It means you’re about to get lucky,” I tell him.
He snorts. “I already am lucky. Am I not here with you?”
He always knows just what to say to flatter a girl. “Then get naked so I can enjoy that fine body of yours, too.”
Salukh doesn’t need much convincing. He strips off his vest and the blades he wears strapped to his body within moments, and then starts to remove his pants. I pause to admire him – because how can I not? The most gorgeous man on the planet is stripping for me.
My mouth goes dry as he drops his leggings to his ankles and straightens. His cock is already growing erect, and it seemingly lengthens as I gaze at him. Damn. “I’m such a lucky woman.”
“I thought it was I who was to get the luck?” He finishes pulling his pants off with ease and tosses them aside. “My mate is beautiful, and smart, and eager to play in the furs. Surely I am the one with all the luck this day.”
I giggle, because he’s bastardizing the saying and it’s so darn adorable. I’m practically giddy with happiness. Is this all it took to feel whole? Acknowledging that I can’t let the past rule my life?
Wish I’d done it sooner.
No, I correct myself. I’m glad things happened as they did. If they hadn’t, I wouldn’t be here now with Salukh, alone and about to have what will surely be awesome sex. The only worry I have is Josie, and like Salukh said – she made her choice. She wanted to go. She assured me she could do the journey, and she was excited to test herself. I can’t keep second-guessing that, so I just won’t think about it any longer.
Time to get naked, instead. I undo the waist-band of my pants, but pulling them down is a bit trickier. With my injured ankle, my balance is crap and I wobble and pitch forward trying to remove my clothes, only to be caught by Salukh before I smack into the ground.
“Careful,” he tells me. “I do not want my mate to hurt herself undressing when I have two hands. Shall I undress you? It would be my pleasure.”
How can I resist that? I sit, perched in his lap as he gently pulls my tangled clothing from my limbs. He smooths a big hand down my newly bare legs, and I shiver at the feel of his touch. Even though the khui keeps me warm, his body still feels that much warmer than mine. It’s like snuggling with a heated blanket, and given that we landed on a planet of eternal winter? It’s addictive. I can’t stop running my hands all over that velvety skin, and he touches me everywhere he can in response.
Then he tugs at the band I have around my breasts. “Take this off.”
I undo the knot at the front and let the leather slide to the ground, and then I’m naked on his lap. He leans in and nuzzles my neck, licking and kissing at my skin. “My beautiful mate,” he murmurs. “Lovely in every way.”
In his arms, I do feel lovely. I feel cherished and whole. He’s been so good to me every step of the way, endlessly patient with my hang-ups and my worries. No woman is as lucky as me to have someone like him. “I love you,” I whisper again. “Thank you for never doubting me.”
He pulls back and gives me a surprised look. “Doubt you? You are mine. What is there to doubt? I know it here,” he points at his head, “even if this part of me does not realize it yet.” He taps his chest. “It will come in time.”
I nod. Even if it doesn’t, I don’t care. I have him and that’s all that I want. I can be happy, just like this, forever in his arms. I turn until we’re facing each other, and press my chest to his. My nipples scrape against his pectorals, and I moan when he puts a hand to my back and pulls me forward, capturing my mouth with his. This is not the lover that asks for permission before touching me – this is a man who wants to kiss and lick and caress and isn’t worried if his caresses are accepted.
I love it. And I love it because it’s him. With Salukh, everything is all right. Everything is acceptable, because I trust him. If he grabs me, I know I’m still fine because he would never harm me. So I kiss him back with equal intensity. Our mouths link and his tongue grazes mine. I give a small sigh of pleasure at the taste of him – he’s wild and masculine and yet utterly delicious to me. The flick of his ridged tongue sends ripples of pleasure through my body, along with naughty suggestions. Ridges all over – it’s like someone took a page out of my naughty-dream journal or something. I rub my nipples against his chest as we kiss, feeling the need to move against him.
His hands skim over my body and then slide down to cup my ass. He groans against my mouth as his fingers move over the cleft of my bottom. “I will never get used to the fact that you have no tail.”
“Don’t like it?” I ask, burying my fingers in his thick, gorgeous hair. It’s a little coarse but smooth and thick and lovely. Makes me think about what our children would look like – his strands and my curls? That would be the most magnificent head of hair ever.
“I find it…fascinating.” His fingers play against my bottom, as if he’s trying to figure out where the tail would have gone. It’s an arousing feeling, and I wiggle against his touch.
“There’s lots of me that’s fascinating,” I tease him. I flick my tongue against his lower lip and then catch it between my teeth. I love his sexy little groan of response, too.
“Then I shall explore all of it,” he murmurs, and his fingers trail lightly up my spine. “I will find all of your soft spots and touch them. I will learn all of you with my fingers, and then with my tongue.”
A ripple of pleasure moves through me at his words. Damn. That sounds like an amazing promise. “You’re on.”
He shifts, looking around curiously. “What am I on?”
I giggle. I’m loading him up with all the earth-slang when I get horny, apparently. I grab him by the horns and pull his face back toward mine for another scorching kiss.
He falls backward, his lips still locked to mine, and then we’re on the floor, me straddling his body as we continue to kiss. His hands move to my breasts and he cups them, teasing and rolling the nipples with his fingers. I gasp and rock my hips against his belly.
“Sit up,” he tells me. “I would see all of you.”
I do, rocking my pussy against his belly. I can feel his cock brushing against my butt,
and it makes me rock my hips in a little circular motion just so I can rub up against him. His hands immediately return to my breasts and he plucks at my nipples, teasing them as I put my hands down on his chest and continue to rock against him. He’s got ridges down his abdomen where a happy trail should be, and they feel…oddly amazing against my sensitive pussy.
“You are so beautiful,” he breathes, and the intense look in his eyes makes me feel like I’m a goddess. I’m this man’s goddess, and that’s all I need.
I grind and rock my way a little further down on his abs and his cock bumps up against my bottom. “You like it when your mate rides you?”
His eyes gleam and he pulls me back down against him. “I want to taste you.”
“Then taste me.” I lean in for a kiss.
He nuzzles my nose again. “No, I want to taste you like you did to me last night.”
Oh. He wants to go down on me. I moan at the thought of his wonderful mouth on me. “If you want to.”
“I want to more than anything.”
I scratch my nails on his chest. “Should I lie back? Or should I sit on your face?”
Salukh groans deeply and he buries his face against my neck, horn brushing against my cheek. “You…you would do that?”
“If you wanted me to. Some men don’t like it because—“
He puts his hand to my mouth, silencing me. “There is no one else before now. Nothing else matters.”
I can’t stop smiling. “Then yes, I would do that.”
He kisses me again, all over my neck and then my face, his hands going to my hair. I’m dazzled by his caresses – for a man that’s a virgin, he’s damn good at foreplay and at distracting me. I could do nothing but kiss and cuddle all day long. But at the same time, I’m hungry for more.
I’m also a little nervous as he lies back on the floor again, his expression hungry. I’ve had sex – both willingly and unwillingly. I’ve done a lot in the sack, but I’ve honestly never done what I suggested. I’m a face-sitting virgin. And this is Salukh’s first time to go down on a girl. What if it’s too much? What if he hates it and then I’ve ruined oral for like, forever? I bite my lip, thinking. Maybe we should start slower, ease into the kinkier stuff—