by Lund, S. E.
“Let’s go,” I say to Michel, who has finished his plate.
He looks at me expectantly. “I want to go to the cathedral first. Say a mass.”
I can’t believe it. “Michel… What about Julien?”
He exhales. “In the morning. He’s fine, Eve. Soren has someone watching over the apartment. I have to sleep and so do you. We’ll go in the morning.”
I shake my head. He really is going to be a priest again. The thought hurts in a way that surprises me. It hurts to think he’s so ready, and happy, to give me up and return to the Church. That being a priest is more important to him than I am.
I bite my cheek to stop the tears that sting the corners of my eyes and together we leave Soren behind.
Michel walks me to my room and leaves me without a word, but I hear the key in the lock when the door closes. He’s locking me in to prevent me from leaving.
I lie back on my bed, staring at the ornate tapestry design of the canopy. Cabbage roses and vines and birds flying in the sky.
I don’t sleep for one moment. Whatever has happened to me has made me too hyped up to relax.
Chapter 99
“In every living thing there is the desire for love.”
D. H. Lawrence
I’ve been out of bed for an hour, when Michel returns.
He sits across from me, dressed in a priest’s vestments, a wooden cross hangs around his neck on a leather strap. “I know you’re not very happy with me.”
“That’s an understatement.” I can tell he’s treading carefully with me. I’d almost forgotten I’m ascended and it’s because of him. I wonder if he’s waiting for me to blow up at him.
“Are you going to ever speak to me again?”
I shrug, my emotions kept bottled up because I fear if I let up for even a moment, I won’t be able to stop crying.
I stand up. “Let’s go.”
He sighs, as if he wanted to have it out with me, but I can’t do it. I can’t argue with him any longer.
We leave the mansion without another word and take the vehicle into Boston and the safe house where Julien is staying. Michel seems happier than I’ve ever seen him, watching the scenery as we drive as if seeing it for the first time.
“I forgot how beautiful everything is,” he says, his voice reverent. “Without bloodlust…” He turns to me. “How beautiful you are.”
Despite my anger, my heart squeezes at that. I find I’m as entranced as he is by the beauty of the scenery as we drive back to the safe house. He’s seeing it again for the first time as a mortal. I’m seeing it for the first time with my enhanced senses as a monster.
Finally, I can’t hold back. “What the hell am I, Michel?” I turn to face him. “I hate this. It means I’m an even more powerful tool for Soren. How could you go along with this? Just so you could be a mortal again? What about the rest of the world?”
Michel doesn’t look at me. “I know you won’t understand, so I won’t bother arguing with you about it. Just know that whatever I do, I do for the rest of the world. Not me.”
“I find that hard to believe, seeing as you told me when we first met that all you wanted was to become a mortal again and return to the priesthood. You said you’d do it in a second. Well, Soren gave you that chance and you’ve lost me because of it.”
Michel sighs beside me. “Hadn’t I already lost you? To Julien?”
I say nothing. What can I say? He’s right.
“Tell me why you did it,” I implore. “Make me understand.”
He shakes his head. “I can’t.” He turns to face me and smiles, but it’s not a happy smile. It’s forced. “Back to the same old trap—if I tell you, it kills you. I don’t want that. I don’t want us to have to wait another twenty years for Soren to create another you.”
“Maybe the next me will have a better life than I had.”
Michel exhales loudly. “No,” he says, his voice low. “She has a far worse life than you, growing up under Dominion, living in the dark corners of the world until Soren finds her and has her for his own pet. She and I don’t meet until she’s already his creature. We’re never lovers.”
“What about Julien?”
He stares out the window in silence for a moment. “She does meet him. Of course, they become lovers.” Then he turns back to me. “But it doesn’t end well for either her or me.”
I move away from him, closer to the door.
He grabs my hand and squeezes. “Don’t be too mad at me. It’s only because I love you more than anything that I’m doing any of this.”
As much as I would like to, I can’t take my hand away because he’s staring at me with those beautiful blue eyes and his expression is so sincere…
I believe him when he says that. I just don’t believe that he can control the future the way he thinks he can.
We drive the rest of the way in silence, but he keeps my hand in his as if he can’t bear to let go.
* * *
We arrive in the neighborhood that surrounds the safe house and Michel speaks with each guard we meet. None of them have seen Julien. They have heard nothing and assumed he was busy and waiting for our return. I’m impatient to get to the safe house and make sure Julien is okay. I want to run past the guards and into the building, but I have to wait. We have to spend time at each checkpoint.
When we’re finally at the safe house, I rush up the stairs to the apartment ahead of Michel and bang on the door.
“Julien!”
Michel joins me at the door.
“He’s not answering,” I say, panic in my voice.
“Don’t worry,” he says. “Julien is fine.”
I do worry, banging on the door, determined to break it down if Julien doesn’t answer.
Michel finally takes out his key and opens the door. I rush in, searching the apartment, and find Julien on his bed on his stomach, pillows over his head. His skin is pink and warm when I touch him.
He’s asleep. There’s an empty bottle of merlot on the night table.
He must have been drunk last night, celebrating his newfound mortality. Or mourning his lost immortality. With Julien, I have a suspicion it was the latter.
“Julien,” I say softly and sit on the bed beside him. I lay a hand on his naked back and he feels so vibrant, so alive. I can feel his heartbeat under my hand, slow and steady.
“Julien,” I say again, louder.
He startles and rolls over, a gun in his hand. He must have had it under the pillow.
“Eve!” he exclaims and puts the gun down. He sits up and grabs me, pulling me into a hug.
I hug him back, my arms around his neck, my hands on the smooth, warm skin of his shoulders. He smells so good and feels so good… Of course, being so close to a mortal makes my bloodlust even more intense and I have to pull away, almost panting from it.
“You ascended…” he says and frowns.
I turn my head slightly and I see them—white wings with huge feathers. I find that I can control them with my mind and flex them, amazed that I hadn’t noticed them before.
“I didn’t call them up,” I say. “Do they just materialize at random times?”
Julien shakes his head. “When you’re emotional. You can also manifest them at will, if you want to impress someone.” He grins at me and it’s the old Julien—playful, cheerful, and flirty. “I suppose you want to bite me. It’s wonderful to not feel bloodlust.”
“I was afraid you’d be upset to be mortal again.”
He shrugs. “I was a bit upset at first,” he says and picks up the empty wine bottle from the bed. “It took a bit of the red stuff to convince me mortality was acceptable.” He puts the empty bottle back on the side of the bed and turns to me. “Besides, Michel said this has to happen.”
“Michel told you that Soren would make you mortal?”
Julien glances at Michel, who’s leaning against the doorjamb, his arms crossed. Michel’s face is unreadable.
“Michel told me a few poss
ible versions of what was going to happen,” Julien admits and a moment passes between the twins. “This,” Julien says and holds out his arms, “was one of the possible futures. Of course, I didn’t believe him. I guess I was wrong not to.” He shrugs again. “I’m okay with what has to happen. I believe him now.”
“I thought you’d want to be a vampire again.”
“Not now,” he says, sighing. “Maybe in the future.”
“So you know what’s going to happen as well?”
“We only know a few possible outcomes,” Michel says from the door. “Now that I’m mortal, I don’t see anything. It’s probably better that way. I know some threads of what could happen. I know what choices I have to make. But I can’t control anyone else, so I’m as blind as the rest of you.”
I sigh and take in a deep breath, examining Julien, who sits beside me, naked except for his boxer briefs.
“I need some blood,” I say.
Julien gives me a half-grin. “I’d let you drink some of mine, but now that I’m mortal, I’m kind of partial to it. There’s some in the refrigerator.”
I get up and pass Michel, who follows me into the kitchen. I take out a bottle of blood and remove the metal cap, drinking it down without stopping. I’m going to need all the blood I can get to stop the craving I have to bite both of them.
When I finish, I drink a glass of water to clean my mouth and turn to see them both standing in the doorway to the kitchen, watching me with interest.
“So, how does it feel to be mortal again and not need blood?” I ask.
“Amazing,” Julien answers, smiling. “I didn’t think I’d be happy, but I am. I’m going to get dressed and go for a run.”
“We have to take you back to Soren,” Michel says. “He wants you with us there.”
“I don’t think so,” Julien replies, shaking his head.
“You have to,” I say, my voice pleading. “If you don’t, Soren said he’ll kill Michel.”
Julien takes in a deep breath. “Fuck.” He stands with his hands on his hips for a moment, staring out the window. “All right,” he says and then turns to Michel. “So this is the way you’re going to play it?”
Michel nods. “Has to be this way.”
Julien nods slowly, thoughtfully. “Okay. But I can at least go for a run, breathe in some fresh air? I need it after last night. I’ll be quick.” He jogs for the bathroom, leaving Michel and me alone.
Michel turns to me, staring at me. “Things are going to happen that will shock you, Eve,” he says. “You’ll understand everything once they do.”
I shrug and move past him. “Good. Finally. I’ve been kept in the dark—deliberately—for too long.” I go to the living room and sit on the sofa, relaxing as the blood goes through my system. The euphoria from it makes my heart race.
Michel follows me. “If I had a real choice, I would have taken you to Wales long ago, Eve. None of this was my choice. It’s what’s necessary.”
“So you keep saying.”
“You’ll finally know the truth. All of it.”
“I’m waiting,” I say, impatient with all the talk, distracted by the way the blood makes me feel. “I want to believe you, Michel, but I can’t. I need evidence.”
He smiles without speaking and goes to the window, looking out at the street below. “It’ll take years for the world to recover,” he says after a while. “To reverse the effects of the plague. Things will never be the same, though. It will be a new world. Hopefully, better.”
“How can it be better after so many have died? That has to leave a scar on those who survive.”
“People are resilient,” Michel replies. “Each new human starts out fresh. Their goodness will resurface. I have faith.”
“I don’t. Things can actually get worse.”
Michel sits on the sofa beside me. “I have faith, even if you don’t.” He smiles at me softly.
What can I say in response? Of course he has faith. That’s Michel.
Julien emerges from his room, dressed in sweats and a hoodie. He bends down to lace up his boots. “These aren’t the best to run in but there are no sneakers anymore because they all used plastic or latex. I might be able to find some old sneakers in a shoe museum but until then, these old military boots will have to do.” He laughs, standing up. His gaze passes between Michel and me. “I’ll be back.”
“You’ll do that thing I asked you?” Michel asks quietly.
Julien nods. “It’ll be done.”
“What thing?” I say and turn to Michel.
“Just a security thing.”
“Be careful,” I say, turning back to Julien, realizing that he’s mortal now and can die with frightening ease.
“I’ll be fine,” he assures me, that grin starting, his blue eyes twinkling. “In case you forgot, I have handlers.”
He leaves us sitting in silence.
“So now what?” I say to Michel after a moment.
He turns to me, his expression intense. He’s resting his head on his hand, watching me.
“Now we do our duty.”
“I wish you’d tell me.”
“You’ll know soon enough.”
I sigh and stand up, not wanting to sit so close to him. Despite the blood I just drank, I still want him. I have this craving to pull him into my arms, take all his clothes off, and feel his warm skin next to mine. I want to put my mouth on his neck, feel the pulse of blood beneath his skin, and bite.
“I have to be alone for a while.”
He nods. “I understand, Eve. Now you know how I felt being alone with you all this time, being your lover. How Julien felt.”
“It’s hell,” I say and stand in the doorway, looking back at him. “But at the same time, irresistible.”
“You can see how it was practically impossible for me.”
I nod. “I know.”
He looks so devastatingly beautiful sitting there on the couch, his dark hair a bit messy, his skin flushed and full of blood. I leave him in the living room and go to the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I sit on the side of the tub and take a few deep breaths to calm myself. I want to take a hot shower, hoping that the heat will warm me a bit and remove the thoughts of a naked Michel from my mind, but it will take too long to heat the water. A cold scrub with a washcloth will have to do.
Did both brothers go through this with me for all this time?
No wonder they couldn’t say no to being my lover once they found me again…
I undress, glancing at myself in the mirror before I take a cloth and wet it in the cold water. My skin is so pale it appears almost flawless, as if the waters of life have perfected me. There are only very thin, pale lines where Julien cut me when he saved my life that day in Blackstone’s boardroom. The bite mark on my neck is barely visible.
While I wash, I think about the waters of life. Whatever this substance is, it clearly isn’t natural. It has to have been engineered. Who or what engineered a substance that alters DNA to remove flaws and perfect the genome? Thousands of years ago, humans had no knowledge of DNA or inheritance.
It’s while I’m rinsing the cloth, my eyes closed, thinking about the Knights Templar, that I hear a sound and turn. Julien opens the bathroom door, completely naked, his eyes half-lidded with desire. He stands behind me, his eyes on my reflection in the mirror.
“Perfect timing,” he says, that lopsided de Cernay grin starting when his eyes rake over my naked body.
“Julien!” I scold, my heart racing at him being so close and so naked.
“I want to fuck you as a mortal, Eve. It’s been eight hundred years…”
“But Michel’s just down the hall…” I protest when his hands rest on my hips and he pulls me tightly against him.
“I told him to get lost for a while so you could scream my name out loud when you come.”
“You did no such thing,” I say, frowning and stepping away from him despite my desire for him. Then I see his smile and know he’s jokin
g. “Julien!” I hit him playfully on the chest. “Is he still in the apartment?”
“No, he really did go downstairs to load the truck. I told him I was going to wash up and he said you were already in the bathroom. I told him to take a walk around the block. I didn’t need to say anything else.”
Julien washes himself off quickly, as if he can’t wait to be with me, soaping the cloth and washing off his sweaty body. I can’t help but watch him, enjoying the spectacle of a beautiful Julien, wet, naked, and soapy. My body responds, my flesh swelling, my breath quickening.
I want him. I need him.
My own body responds to everything with ten times the force of a vampire, which is already ten times that of a human. I need him and I swear that I’m so aroused, I’ll come in only moments of him entering me, no foreplay necessary. But I’ll take the foreplay because it will feel fantastic as well.
When Julien is finished rinsing off, he takes a towel and begins to dry himself. I enjoy the view, especially how he’s so obviously aroused and wanting to feel what it’s like to fuck as a mortal again.
“Don’t connect with me at all,” he says, his voice husky. “I want the whole thing to be entirely inside of my own body. Is that okay with you? I know you like to join together, but give me this once, please.”
I nod, barely able to think, let alone talk at this point. He finishes drying himself off and kneels down before me, taking my leg and draping it over his shoulder. I lean back, my hands resting on the edge of the counter, and watch as he begins to kiss all around me, my inner thigh, my hip, my mound.
“Oh, God, Julien,” I whisper, my breath catching when he finally places his mouth over me. “I don’t think I’ll last…”
“Don’t try,” he says and everything is such a blur of intense pleasure that’s almost too much. I’m lost to the sensations, my pulse racing, muscles tensing. When I emerge momentarily from my erotic haze, Julien is inside of me and begins to thrust, watching where our bodies join, and then he meets my eyes. I drop the wall between us so I can feel what he’s feeling, and it’s perfect, so hot and needful and elated. He can’t feel me at all, and it’s a good thing because I feel like the top of my head is going to explode, the pleasure building in my core.