Silent tears rolled from her eyes and were absorbed into her pillow. Before she could get over him, she had to go through the grieving process: pain, denial, anger, acceptance. She wished she had been captured by some horrible creature instead of an irresistible human alien; that way, she wouldn’t have succumbed to his charms. If a monster had ripped out her heart, it would have been physical death instead of a living hell. It would have been far better for her if he had truly sold her at the auction. Time and time again he had given her false hopes by lying, with words or actions or expressions, about his feelings for her. He had let her hope and dream and believe, all for naught. It was clear now that no matter what she had said or done, it had always been impossible to win him. She didn’t possess the skills and power to hold on to that fiery comet which had blazed across her destiny’s sky many times. Yet, how could any man behave and speak as he had without feeling anything? How could any man—even an evil one—totally lack all honor, conscience, and compassion?
Damn you, Varian Saar. I believed you, trusted you, and loved you with all my heart and soul. Now, you’re going to marry that bitch who also tormented me. I could slay you both with my bare hands for the way you’ve treated me. Is this what your father did to Shara? Did Galen use her, betray her, and discard her? Break her heart, drive her insane, and provoke her to murder and suicide? Thank God Ryker is nothing like you and your father. At least I hope he’s not tricking me, too. If that’s what he thinks he’s going to do, he’s wrong. This time, I’ll beat a man at his own game. I’ll make Ryker love me and want me too much to hurt me. I’ll be the perfect companion, research assistant, and wife. I’ll study hard until I’m exhausted. I’ll be obedient, desirable, and fulfilling. To win him, I’ll use every wit, skill, and ploy you taught me. Starting tomorrow, Ryker, I’ll do and be anything and everything you desire, and to hell with Varian Saar.
Chapter Five
Varian came to see Jana the next morning but she was occupied with her grooming in the bathroom. He sat on her bed to await her, to make certain she was all right after his strange behavior last night. When she had reached out to touch Ryker’s image instead of his or neither, a powerful surge of jealousy and fear had shot through him. It was unlike him to feel those emotions. But Jana had changed him, and these blasted secret missions were changing him. For the second time, he had experienced deep and true fear, fear of losing the only woman he would ever love.
He knew it was possible for emotions to make an aboutface in the flicker of an eye. Long ago, he had detested Shara Triloni and Ryker. The day the Androasian princess had slain his parents, black and potent hatred and a desire to murder her had consumed him. Following years of pity and remorse over Ryker’s dilemma, his feelings for his half brother had also turned to hatred and hostility when Ryker provoked a war between them. His affection for Canissia Garthon had changed to revulsion when he discovered her vile character and behavior.
Varian lifted Jana’s pillow to inhale the heady fragrance left there. The first time terror had struck him low had been after learning of her disappearance. His days had been filled with anguish. His nights had been worse, nights when he had dreamed of her. She would visit him like an enchanting spectre and look at him with those kaleidoscopic eyes so full of pleading for him to rescue her. Her champagne hair would surround her shoulders like a cape and would move slightly when she reached out her arms in beckoning. Those dreams had been so real that he would awaken in a cold sweat or engulfed by passion’s flames. Never had he felt so helpless and vulnerable.
As if sensing imminent danger, she had begged him not to leave her that last day before she vanished—and peril had befallen both of them. He had been lured into a trap: captured, tortured, and almost killed by Prince Taemin’s hirelings as a favor to Ryker. She had been kidnapped by Canissia and delivered into the hands of his malevolent half brother. He had feared all he had left of her were memories and dreams and fierce longings. For weeks he had trekked through Gehenna. He had become embittered and hardened. He had cursed fate. He had vowed to never love again because losing love cut too deeply and viciously. He had been tormented when he discovered she, a free woman by his own hand, was wed to Ryker.
Then, his half brother had provoked a death duel, had arrived for it without his disguise. It had been like gazing into a mirror! He had known they favored each other, but not to that extent. It was understandable why Kadim Maal and Shara had concealed his Saarian looks. Even if he hadn’t slain Ryker, their marriage was legal, and a rescue assault on Darkar was impossible. His evil image had shouted, “Only one of us will leave this place alive. If you slay me, you can marry my widow and inherit all I own.” Just as the cunningly wicked prince knew that by slaying his rival he would by law inherit the Saar name and estate. Ryker had taunted, “Look at my face, Varian. She married both of us. Would it ease your suffering to learn she mumbles your name at passion’s climactic moment?” After rescuing her, she had explained that the purpose of the coerced marriage was to save her life until he came for her and that it had not been consummated. She had confessed her love. How sweet those words “I love you” had sounded. How beautiful their reunion had been. But much too brief, and by his own doing.
Varian inhaled her lingering scent. His gaze touched on the numerous tear stains that rent his heart. On Eire, he had sworn she would be safe and happy in her new home. He had said, “Trust me, Jana. I won’t let anyone or anything hurt you.” He had broken that promise, and he was hurting her worst of all. Kahala, would the demands and sacrifices never end?
Every time he was near her, he was aroused by love and desire. He could not bring himself to seduce her because he couldn’t bear the thought of her feeling compelled to respond to Ryker. Yet, Ryker had been wooing her and it would seem odd if he—as Ryker—did not continue that romantic course. But was he pushing too hard and too fast? He put the pillow back in its place and left the room.
Jana joined the alien in the living area. He was about to leave for his complex. She must put her plan into motion. She must accept her fate. She was in another galaxy, married to one extra-terrestrial and still in love with another. She had to forget Varian, as he wasn’t worth her love. Nor could she substitute Ryker for him. “Can I tag along today?”
Varian sensed something afoot. “Why, Jana?”
“I’d like to spend more time with you and getting acquainted with your work. And I feel safer and happier near you. Do you mind my being like a clingy child who needs comfort and security?”
“That sounds tempting and pleasing, but the areas I work in aren’t safe for you to enter. But they will be after your inoculations tomorrow. Why don’t you relax at the pool this morning. I’ll join you for lunch there.”
“Thank you, Ryker. I’ll await you.”
She observed his departure. She paced the large and lovely room. She had to come up with ways to let him know she was receptive, yet not behave wanton or overeager. She was apprehensive about his turning distant and distracted. He seemed reluctant to touch her, as if afraid he might lose control and possess her. But wasn’t that what he had said he wanted? Why this contradiction? Since that afternoon in the lab, he seemed quiet, subdued, and preoccupied.
Considering her status as a charl and an alien captive, she was lucky. She had a certain amount of freedom, respect, and pride. By marriage, she was a princess, his heir, and soon to be his assistant. She was wed to a handsome, rich, powerful, envied, respected—and feared—man.
She had to get that hallucination out of her head. But that was easier said than done. During her medical and scientific schooling and training, she had learned that some dreams and delusions can seem so real that the person experiencing them could pass a lie-detector test confirming their reality. Too, life was filled with many so-called impossible coincidences which could explain the clues she assumed she had gleaned. For one thing, Varian Saar would never make slips like those during the chess game last night. Dreams and coincidences, J. G., nothing more!
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She was just so lonely and miserable. She missed Andrea and her other friends. She missed her work. She missed her home, her horse, her possessions, and her daily activities. If only she could speak to her best friend by telephone. If only she could watch TV from Earth to learn what was happening there. Her and her planet’s existence looked so bleak. Would both be saved by God’s merciful hand?
When Varian entered the glassed dome, he saw Jana resting on her side near the pool with her head propped up on an elbow. She was deep in thought and didn’t appear to notice his arrival. Her free hand was buried in tresses wet and curly from her swim. The outfit she was wearing exposed all her stunning curves. She seemed to gaze on a waterfall, a faraway expression on her face. He wondered if she were thinking about the romantic afternoon they had spent near a similar one on the planet Mailiorca. It was in that exotic setting that he had told her that he had always fulfilled his duty, no matter the cost, and he was doing so again. They had talked, shared a picnic, and almost made love. If they hadn’t been disturbed by an urgent message from his ship, they would have surrendered to the desires burning within them both.
He shoved the stirring memory from mind. “I’ll join you as soon as I change,” he said to let his presence be known.
Jana jumped. “I didn’t hear you. You startled me.”
“Sorry. Mental journeys are attention consuming.” He saw her blush and shift her position beneath his intense scrutiny.
His voice washed over her as a breeze on a summer southern night: mellow, lazy, and sultry. When he squatted and pushed a straying lock of hair from her face and caressed her rosy cheek, she trembled at his touch. “I’m glad you could join me.”
He noticed his effect on her and withdrew his hand. “So am I,” he said, then stood and left to change into his swimming trunks.
Jana watched him approach the pool. His body evinced the same strengths of his features. His torso rippled with wellhoned muscles. His chest was covered by a curly mat which narrowed to drift down his waist to disappear into his red trunks. Their shade accentuated his dark tan and their fit displayed his sleek hips, firm buttocks, and ample manhood. She quivered as she admitted her attraction.
Could she learn to love this man? Could she shut off her feelings for Varian to respond to Ryker? From past experience, she knew what love and passion were. She had discovered those emotions the first time she had seen Varian Saar. She had fallen under his potent spell. She had wanted to share a lifetime with him. The night of their first union, she had believed having him, if only for two weeks until her auction, would be worth any price she must pay. She had believed that afterward he would keep her. She had been wrong.
Jana dashed aside her troubling thoughts and joined the alien for a swim. She hoped to frolic in the water and soften him. She was dismayed and disappointed when he kept his distance. He smiled, laughed, was nice, and even a little flirty, but he refused to get close to her body.
When Ine brought their lunch, they ate in one of the sitting areas near the waterfall she had been eyeing while bittersweet memories tormented her. They chatted about her childhood, teenage, and college years. Each time she veered the conversation to him or his work, he derailed the attempt with another question about her. Soon it was evident he didn’t want to discuss himself, only learn more about her. She complied.
Jana approached the blond alien in the hall after they had finished their showers and grooming, as the slide between their rooms was closed again today. She walked along with him as she asked, “Are you sure there’s nothing I can do to help you?”
He kept moving as he answered, “You can help me by taking care of yourself. I want you well and strong before our trip begins in three days.”
In the living area, a call came for Ryker from his security chief and shuttle captain. He replied at the control panel.
“Sir,” Kagan informed him, “Canissia Garthon has arrived in the Moonwind and requested permission to land in her shuttle to visit you.”
Cass, alive? Here? At last, a chance to get his hands around her lying throat! No, he realized, he couldn’t risk exposing himself by arresting her in front of Jana. He could give Command Ten to his agent to have her followed, observed, and captured at the right time where there were no witnesses. Until this mission was over, he could not, without providing evidence he must keep concealed for a while, press charges against her for kidnapping Jana and for committing treason. Perhaps he could use her to extract information needed for his impending trip to Maal. “Granted, Kagan. When she departs, carry out Command Ten for me. Let me know when she’s on the ground.”
“Yes, sir.”
Jana noticed he was agitated. “What does that vile creature want?”
“Probably to see how you’re faring in my hands. She’s in for a big surprise! I’m sure you don’t want to see her again, so why don’t you go to your room until she’s gone.”
“That will suit me fine. Call me after she leaves, so I can hear how she took the news of our marriage. I’m certain it will come as a shock to her.”
“Do you want news about her wedding?”
“If she mentions it to you, don’t tell me about it. Nobody deserves each other more than those two.”
Varian forced himself not to frown at her insult. He laughed and said, “Nobody is like Cass, not even my unfortunate half brother. I’ll get rid of her as quickly as possible. Spending even a short time with her would be repulsive to me. You’d think she’d come to realize I can’t tolerate her.”
“Why don’t you tell the witch never to come here again?”
“Because I still have use for her information-gathering skills.”
“She’s a traitor to her world. She would betray you, too, for the right price. I wouldn’t trust her. How do you know she isn’t the spy for the Alliance that you accused me of being?”
“Because her facts always prove to be accurate, and I know Cass.”
“What better way to lure you into her confidence than to feed you truths? Besides, they are probably facts you could learn elsewhere.”
“No, they are Supreme Council secrets that come from her father. I’m not a fool, Jana of Earth. I don’t trust her. I have her watched all the time.”
Then why, Jana mused, didn’t you know of her approach? “Is there another reason you let her come around?”
“Like what?” Suddenly he chuckled and caressed her cheek. “You aren’t jealous of that vile creature, are you?”
She faked a mute yes while she said, “Of course not.”
He chuckled again and kissed her cheek. “You are the only woman for me, so don’t worry about her. I would never—”
“Sir, she’s landed and approaching the house,” Kagan interrupted over the communication system.
The alien acknowledged, then suggested again she leave the room. He didn’t want to subject his love to Cass’s hatefulness.
The moment she was gone, Canissia Garthon swept into the room as if she owned it. She was wearing a tight purple jumpsuit that revealed she had nothing on underneath. Her nearperfect figure was as noticeable as the smug expression on her beautiful face. The flaming redhead had death rays firing from her turquoise eyes. She stalked to a plush sofa and sat down with one elbow propped on its low back. Her long hair was smoothed back from her face and secured at her nape with a purple band, accentuating the slender neck that held her head high and straight to glower at him.
Varian absorbed her cocky and vain attitude, and her fury. “Do come in and make yourself comfortable,” he joked. He saw her gaze narrow and gleam in warning, her posture stiffen, and her mood chill even more.
“You and I have unfinished business.”
He raked his green gaze over her from fiery head to slender ankle. It was apparent she knew Ryker had tried to kill her, but he knew how to get out of the situation, thanks to his half brother’s tapes and notes. “Such as?” He sat down across from her and grinned like Ryker.
“You know what I’ve c
ome to discuss, you treacherous—”
Jana seemed to float into the room. “Ryker, my darling, what’s taking you so long to join—” She halted and, as a shocked Canissia stared open-mouthed and wide-eyed at her, clutched the robe opening to the diaphanous negligee she had donned for her ruse. She had hurriedly brushed her hair, perfumed herself, and changed clothes to trick the spiteful woman who had aided Varian’s dismissal of her. She faked modesty. “Oh, I didn’t realize we have a guest.”
Canissia glared at the alien girl in the sheer and sexy garments, the female who had stolen Varian’s eye and heart. The delicately hazy outfit left little to the imagination and, if Jana wasn’t wearing a matching bra and panties, every perfect attribute would be showing! The redhead glared at Jana through the near-slits of her feral eyes.
“Sorry, my eager angel, but Cass stopped in for a short visit. We’ll have to delay our .. .” He paused and chuckled. “Amusements for a while.”
Canissia tried to embarrass Jana by searing her with hot aqua eyes. She was irritated when her action failed. By now, she had expected and hoped Jana Greyson would be destroyed or broken and abused. “What do we have here, Ryker, my sweet? A compliant slave? My, you do work fast. What’s your secret?”
Stardust And Shadows Page 11