“I’ll go first,” he said. He unbuttoned my jeans and whipped them and my underwear down to my knees.
Startled at being exposed so suddenly, I shoved both my hands over my pussy.
He roughly turned me around.
“Grab hay,” he said seconds before his broad, dry palm connected with my ass, sending tendrils of fire through me.
I staggered forward. My fingers dug into the twine wrapped around a shoulder-height bale of hay.
“What was that for?” I gasped.
“Because I want to spank you,” he said, and my pussy grew wetter. He yanked up my shirt and bra and walked into me, his solid body pressing me against the hay.
I was right; it made me itch.
But then Corbin was pulling my hips, tilting my pelvis and pressing my upper body even harder into the straw wall.
His zipper whispered open, and then his hard cock was nudging between my legs. I was turned on, but not quite enough to accommodate his impressively sized erection.
Which he knew.
“Let me suck you first,” I said.
Corbin ignored my offer and instead worked the swollen head of his shaft into my cleft. Somehow, my body yielded to his. A few shallow but insistent thrusts, and the tip was wet.
“You’ve been a very bad girl, Audrey.”
He pushed in all the way. Every nerve ending in my body screamed with need and desire, and I clutched at the twine, holding on for dear life as Corbin took up a slow, punishing rhythm, his hips slamming against my buttocks. He pulled out slowly, then pounded in hard again.
With each thrust, my nipples scraped against the hay. I turned my head, placing my cheek on my forearm. When I moaned, I felt my breath hot on my skin. I sucked in air and it turned cool.
Corbin became still, and my pussy clenched around him. Now I was wet, slippery, dripping. It had taken nothing more than five seconds of fucking to get me like this, to take me from minding my own business to desperately horny.
“You like that?” he asked.
“Seems to me like you do.”
He slapped my ass hard enough to make me see stars.
“Yes,” I moaned. “I like it.” At that moment, I would have said or done absolutely anything to orgasm. “You know just how to fuck me… wish you didn’t have to go to Europe.”
Corbin snorted out a skeptical laugh. His hands captured my waist, his thumbs pressing into my lower back as he held me steady.
“What’s so funny?” I asked, irritated, though not enough to push him and his majestic cock away.
He dug his fingers in deeper, his skin searing mine. “You,” he said. “I know you need your games, need to hide behind them, but all I wanted from you was honesty and openness. Usually when you’re on my cock, the bullshit stops for at least a few minutes.”
I would have tried to twist away from him, but the truth was that I was suspended on the edge of an orgasm. One I desperately needed.
He bent over me, kissed the back of my neck, then bit it as he slammed his cock in hard.
Groaning, I arched underneath him.
Corbin nipped his way to my ear. His breath whispered across my skin, making me tingle.
“Let’s get this into the open,” he growled. “You don’t play hooky for the hell of it. Some people, maybe, but not you, Audrey. So let’s talk about what’s really happening here.”
He’d stopped thrusting, and all I could think about was the gentle pulsing of his lengthy shaft, and how the intimate rhythm echoed in his chest pressed against me.
My fingers ached from holding on to the twine, but I didn’t dare let go. I tried to be calm, but my pussy kept squeezing him. I couldn’t help it.
And I couldn’t help that he surely felt it, surely knew how badly I wanted and needed to be fucked.
“Nothing’s happening here,” I said. “I wanted to spend some time with you.”
He laughed again. “Oh, baby,” he breathed into my ear. One of his hands slid sensually from my hip and up my torso until he was cupping my breast in his palm. His fingers caught the stiffened peak of my other breast and pinched it.
And my traitorous pussy spasmed around him.
His cock was silky but hard, so deliciously hard. He drove me to distraction by merely being inside me, and even though I knew there was something I was supposed to be saying, or denying, I couldn’t quite figure out what it was.
He tweaked my nipple. “Baby.” He pressed his lips against my ear again, but this time his teeth sought my lobe.
I squealed, and Corbin dipped lower, to the side of my throat.
Suddenly, it didn’t feel like a game. From his teeth on my skin and the viselike way he’d squeezed my nipple and wouldn’t let go, I realized something had changed.
It felt dangerous.
I gasped, trying to be quiet, to breathe through the pain. There were times when I fought his dominance, but not now. Not when my entire body was primed, ready to combust the moment he shifted his thick shaft even an inch.
“You know what I am,” he said, tugging my nipple.
I sucked my lower lip into my mouth. “Yes,” I murmured. “Dominant.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about.” His fingers gentled, then he was cupping both my breasts. “You know me, baby. You know who I am. You know what I am.”
My trembling shudders turned less sexual, more primal. “No,” I said, my mouth refusing to play this game even while my brain couldn’t quite keep up.
“Yes,” he breathed, pressing the side of his head against mine. “Audrey Stroop, I love you. Don’t pretend you don’t see me.”
I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t speak, didn’t move, didn’t hardly breathe.
“You’re mine, and I’ll protect you. You know that.”
“Yes, but it doesn’t mean you have to—”
“Yes, it does,” he said, his deep voice harsh. “I gave that scum every possible chance. I did it because you asked me to, baby, but he’s back. Henry is a threat, and he must be eliminated.”
“No,” I whispered. “You’re not a murderer.”
“Baby, I am.” His voice was raw with anger.
I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to hold back unexpected tears. “You’re not. You’re—”
“I’ve killed. That doesn’t go away just because I stopped doing it on demand.” He moved his hips slightly, and my pussy clamped greedily. My pussy that didn’t understand morality or right from wrong.
“Corbin,” I choked out.
“He’s stalking you. He means you harm. I’m sorry if my protecting you will hurt our relationship, but I’m not sorry I’m capable of doing it, baby.” He began pumping, long, certain strokes that were guaranteed to make me orgasm.
“No!” I cried out, my voice quickly muffled by the wall of stacked hay. I didn’t want to come, not like this, five seconds after hearing Corbin admit he was going to murder Henry and there was nothing I could do to stop him.
But my body had been teetering on the edge for too long. My hips bucked, my legs shook. My entire being convulsed, and I pulled so hard on the twine that I thought it might slice through my fingers like razor wire.
“Please, no,” I sobbed. “I don’t want to lose you.” Even as I begged him not to do this horrible thing, my body continued to give itself to him. The waves of pleasure kept coming, one after the other, like I hadn’t orgasmed in years.
Because despite everything, I still trusted him on a visceral level.
That counted for something.
No, that counted for everything.
Finally the spasms passed, and I was left wiped out, wrung dry, all my energy depleted. The stuttering breaths from my orgasm were transforming into full-body shudders, and I was suddenly freezing.
“I would never hurt you,” Corbin said, his voice thick as he wrapped his arms around me, blanketing me in his warmth.
Somehow I managed to whisper, “I know.”
Because I did know. I was safe with him.
“Audrey, I don’t want to do it—”
“Then don’t!” I twisted my upper body so I could look at him.
His handsome face was serious, determined. “I can’t be everywhere all the time. There’s only one way I can protect you from him.”
“He hasn’t done anything!”
“He’s looking for you. He was at your brother’s place.”
It didn’t matter how Corbin had found out so quickly. “I’m begging you. Don’t do this.” I managed to stare into his eyes.
Corbin stared right back. “If he hurts you, then what? How could I live with myself if I failed to protect you?”
“And if you get arrested?”
“I won’t. Jesus. This isn’t…” He shook his head. “Even if I got arrested, it would be worth it to keep you safe. Even if you hated me.”
A bitter laugh tore from my throat. Hate him? That would never happen, not in a million years.
“When?” I demanded. My arms and neck were beginning to hurt from the contorted position.
“I don’t know,” he said. “You’re making it difficult for me to handle things.” This last bit he said dryly.
I lifted my chin. “And what happens when you go to France?”
“I’m not going. Consulting from here suits me just fine.”
The air rushed out of my lungs. “What? You have to go.”
“I don’t, actually. You see, I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately. She’s a traitor. That won’t be the official story, but it’s been confirmed enough to satisfy me.”
“Corbin… no. Everything you sacrificed because of her…” My mind was reeling. I tried to turn all the way around, but Corbin was still inside me and wouldn’t let me move.
“She made her choice, and I made mine. When they found her, that was my closure, and now I’m making a new choice. You’re my future, and that’s all that matters. You know what? I wouldn’t care if she’s innocent.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“I do. When she decided to be a spy, that was her decision. She knew what could happen. She knew she was risking never seeing me or her father again. Even if she wasn’t a traitor, she embraced a life that she knew could end up with her being kidnapped or killed. To her, this outcome was an acceptable risk.” His expression grew fierce. “I won’t make that mistake with you.”
“Corbin—”
“Losing you over a job isn’t an acceptable risk.”
Thank goodness I was being held up by the hay or I would have needed to lean on something. For weeks, all I’d wanted was for this nightmare with his ex to be over. Now I wanted it to stretch out for one more damned week. “But she’s a victim—”
“She’s not a victim. That’s her mess, not mine. Making sure you’re safe is the only thing I care about.”
“Because I’m your mess,” I said.
“No, baby. You’re my…” He sighed. “You’re my future. I’ve told you that.”
My heart thudded as my gaze tore away from his. What did it mean to be the future of a man who planned to murder another man in cold blood?
Corbin traced a finger down the side of my face, then tucked a curly lock behind my ear. “Audrey,” he said. “Look at me.”
I raised my eyes to his. He was so beautiful, and so frightening, I had to look away.
“You know who I am.” This time Corbin didn’t take pity on me. He caught my chin and forced me to meet his eyes. “You know what I am. You might think my hands are dirty, but I prefer to think they’ve been washed in blood. The day Henry broke into your brother’s condo with the intent to kill you, he lost his right to live. You know that. Inhale for me, baby.”
I hadn’t realized I’d stopped breathing, but at Corbin’s command I sucked in a burning chestful of air.
“I made a mistake that night,” he said. “I held Henry’s life in my hands, and I let him go.”
“You listened to me,” I said. “You showed mercy. What makes you think I could live with a man capable of—”
“Because you’ve been doing it. And I see you, too. Behind the toughness and the bluster, you need me. You hate that you do, and you hate that I can take care of you, but you love it, too. I realize you don’t want me to do this, but it needs doing.” He inhaled slowly. “We have to be honest with each other. I know we can’t always manage it on a day-to-day basis, but right now, we have to be.”
“But—”
“Don’t talk. Look at me. See me. Know that I see you.”
So I looked at him, stared into his fathomless blue-green eyes, and it was like our relationship flashed before us…
The night I’d first seen him in the greeting card store and the shock that had gone through me when our eyes had met.
And then the terror when, hours later, my car skidded off the road during the blizzard.
Corbin had saved me. He’d nursed me back to health. He’d bandaged my wounds and fed me. He’d gained my trust, then disappeared, slipping away while I slept.
Months later, after I’d lost hope, he’d come back. I’d given myself to him. Me, a claustrophobic control freak addicted to a dangerous, dominant man. I’d let him tie me up and blindfold me.
You might think my hands are dirty, but I prefer to think they’ve been washed in blood.
I’d known that about him even before we’d exchanged two words, and I had been drawn to him anyway. He’d told me he was capable of murdering innocent people for the greater good, and yes, it had freaked me out, had given me nightmares, terrifying nightmares that had left my sheets drenched in sweat, but I’d never made any real effort to stay away from him.
At no point in our relationship had I told Corbin to stay away.
At every step, every turn, I’d wanted more of him.
I could claim that I didn’t really know what he was because I hadn’t seen it firsthand, but the way he’d disposed of Zak’s body had made it clear. His calm efficiency… There was no denying it from that point on, no hiding or pretending it was just a game.
He was right. I knew who and what he was. Yet I still loved him.
I craved him.
“Baby,” he said. He brought his face close to mine, moving slowly enough that if I’d wanted to turn away, to evade him, I could have. “I need you.”
His kiss was slow, gentle. There was nothing sexual about it.
Then he pulled his erect cock out of me and helped me pull my clothes back up.
When we reached the SUV, he opened my door, but before I got in, he touched my face. The gesture was tentative.
“If you have to leave me, now or after, I’ll understand.” He swallowed hard. “But if I’m being honest, I don’t think my life would be worthwhile without you.” His eyes sought mine. “I know I shouldn’t say that, but it’s the truth. We’re supposed to be together. If you have to take time, I’ll wait, however much you need.”
And with those words, I was destroyed. There wasn’t any good in continuing to tell myself that I could get on my moral high horse and reject him.
“I don’t need time,” I whispered. Resolved flared in me, and I lifted my head. “Just give me one last chance to fix this. Please.”
Corbin shook his head. “We’ve tried that already, baby. Henry Heigh isn’t going to survive the weekend.”
Chapter 18
Corbin took me shopping, and after our conversation in the barn, it was surreal as fuck.
I allowed him to buy me a dress and a pair of jeans, but neither one of us was interested in pretty clothes. Afterward, we watched the sun set over a lake. The evening was cool. I’d forgotten to bring a sweater, and I hadn’t bought one, so Corbin wrapped his arms around me and kept me warm.
Unfortunately, he couldn’t keep the mosquitoes away, so instead of bidding farewell to daylight with sex, we went to dinner at a nice restaurant we’d previously visited while in the area.
It was a perfectly lovely afternoon and evening, the sort that would have put a spring in my step for d
ays afterward.
Except for, well… Henry’s impending death.
It wasn’t the only thing I was dwelling on.
I’d been shaken by the depth of Corbin’s need for me. We’d been through things, heavy things, and I knew he cared for me. He showed it in his every action. But what he’d said about his life not being worthwhile… It got to me.
I didn’t think he was saying he’d do something to himself if I left. Nothing like that. He’d previously made it clear how much he needed me, but I just hadn’t seen how it could be possible. He’d once said that as an assassin for the government, he was a pawn in a greater game of chess.
It was strange to think of Corbin from that angle. After all, he was wealthy and intelligent, diplomatic and capable. To the casual observer, he was the most powerful piece on the chessboard.
When he’d walked away from that life, he’d created the space to be his own man.
Yet on the inside, he was damaged.
So many layers of scar tissue had formed over the original wound that it was almost impossible to see, but every so often, I caught a glimpse of the darkness. It would surface when I came up behind him on the balcony as he stared off into space, his face blank. It had been there the night I’d kept him from choking Henry to death.
That night, a big part of me had wanted Henry to die, but I’d needed to keep Corbin from doing it for his own sake, his own sanity.
All this time, I’d thought what had happened with his ex had turned him into a killer, but now I wasn’t so sure. He was a protector. How many times had he told me that?
And that brought me to the second thing that I couldn’t shake. Corbin was doing this to keep me safe. Setting aside my feelings about vigilante justice, and forgetting my concerns about how this would hurt Corbin, I had to confront the fact that he was right.
Eventually, Henry was going to kill me. I’d been lucky so far, but counting on luck to stay alive was a bad bet.
I simply wasn’t safe, and wouldn’t be safe so long as Henry was walking around free.
“What if we have him arrested again?” I asked as I undressed.
It was after midnight, and we were back in the condo. Corbin had offered to get a hotel room, but I wanted to sleep in my own bed.
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