by E. L. Todd
I wanted to believe her. I really did. She was probably right. Conrad treated me like I was the only woman that mattered. To him, I was his sole purpose in life. He loved me every day and made sure I was happy. I had the highest respect for him.
But he would change.
When things got old and our chemistry faded away, that loyalty and love would diminish. Just the way my father hurt my mother Conrad would hurt me. I was already so fragile and sensitive that I couldn’t handle the blow. I couldn’t watch him walk out of my life and end up with a younger version of myself. I couldn’t pour my heart out to one man for years just to have him walk out sometime later. “I’m sure you’re right. But he’ll do the same thing as Dad somewhere down the road. What we have now is nice…for now.”
Macy gave me a sad look. “Don’t let this destroy your relationship with Conrad. This is Mom and Dad, not you.”
“You’re forgetting that I’ve already been divorced—and it’s not fun. I loved Jared very much when we were together. You don’t know what it’s like to have the man you love trample all over your heart—over and over. Marriage isn’t for me. And I’ll never change my mind.”
“That’s not fair to Conrad.”
“How do you mean?” She didn’t even know him.
“I’m sure he wants to get married someday.”
I remembered how broken he was after Beatrice ripped his heart out. He said he couldn’t go through with that again. It took him a long time to recover before he could finally love me. Marriage was something he couldn’t handle either. What if I left him for another man someday? Would he be able to move on from that? Probably not. “Conrad doesn’t want to get married either.”
“He doesn’t?”
“No.”
“Are you sure about that?” Macy drank her beer with a hesitant look in her eyes.
“Positive. And I’m pretty sure he knows I don’t want to get married either.”
“That’s sad…” Macy shook her head. “Because I think you guys are great together.”
“Because you couldn’t get him to sleep with you?”
“I couldn’t even get him hard, Lexie.” She gave me a firm look. “He only responds to you.”
I avoided her gaze again. The idea of her trying to get him stiff just pissed me off all over again.
“No matter who you date or who you end up with, I promise I won’t act like that anymore.” Her gaze burned into the side of my face. “I hope you believe me someday.”
“What’s with the sudden change of heart?” I asked coldly.
“Well…Dad left Mom for another woman. That means this lady slept with dad even though she knew he was married…and she broke up a family because of it. She hurt Mom and she hurt us…why would I ever want to be that other woman?”
I turned to her with surprise in my eyes.
“You’ll never understand how terrible I feel for doing that to my own sister…and causing her divorce.” Her eyes watered slightly. “I’ll regret it as long as I live.”
Macy wasn’t the type of person to apologize for anything, even if she knew she was wrong. The fact she was doing it now told me she really meant it. It wasn’t a ploy or an act. “We weren’t going to last anyway. Jared couldn’t control his dick. If it wasn’t you, it was just going to be someone else.”
“But it shouldn’t have been me at all.”
“I’m just saying…Jared was a cheater. His decision ended our marriage, not yours.”
Macy still looked guilty. “Does this mean you forgive me?”
I couldn’t believe it did. “I guess…” Maybe it would be a terrible mistake. Maybe she didn’t deserve my forgiveness after everything she did. But my family had just been ripped apart and we needed to stick together as much as possible. “Just don’t expect us to be best friends.”
Macy smiled slightly. “It’s a start…and it’s a very generous one.”
***
When I rounded the corner and walked down the hallway, I saw Conrad pacing back and forth in front of my door. He wore a suit like he just left the office, and he kept running his fingers through his hair anxiously.
I approached him, and when he heard my feet tap the carpet he turned my way.
He looked at the devastated look on my face then mirrored it. Waves of different emotions passed through him, and he experienced all of them just from looking at the sad look on my face. “Baby…” His hands were on me then I was close to his chest. He gave me a soft kiss on the mouth then the temple. “What happened?”
Resting my face against his hard chest comforted me. With his strength and power I felt safe. Nothing could hurt me, even my parents’ divorce. I wanted to fall into him and never leave. “I told my father off…and he left.”
He kissed the top of my head. “I’m sorry.”
“I just feel bad for my mom…she doesn’t deserve this.”
“No, she doesn’t.”
As warm as his embrace was, I left it and opened the door. Even though my purse was expensive, I tossed it on the table and heard it slide across the wood. All I wanted to do was go to bed.
Conrad followed behind me, his eyes drilling into my back.
Once I was in my bedroom, I yanked my clothes off like they were constricting me. They weighed me down and I just needed to be free of them.
Conrad watched me, and there wasn’t desire in his eyes like there usually was. His gaze was watchful, protective.
‘Take off your clothes.” I loosened his tie then pulled it off. Then I pushed his jacket over his shoulders.
He stared at me and didn’t move. But he didn’t stop me either. “I’m here if you want to talk.”
“I don’t want to talk.” I unbuttoned his shirt and revealed his chiseled chest. Then I got it off his massive shoulders and moved to this slacks where I removed his belt and unbuttoned the top.
“How about we get in the shower?” he whispered. “I’ll scrub you down.”
“No.” I pulled down his slacks and boxers to his feet. “I don’t want to talk about the thing that makes me so depressed. I don’t want to discuss how much I’m hurting. I don’t want to sit around and bitch about what I can’t change. I want to use you for all the things you’re good at. I want the one thing that will stop me from thinking about anything else.” I pulled him to the bed. “Can you do that for me?”
Hesitance was in his eyes, like he might object to what I said. Conrad was sensitive toward my feelings, and he usually listened to me vent about all my problems. But he seemed to realize that talking wouldn’t help anything. “I can.”
CHAPTER FIVE
Conrad
I walked into my dad’s office and saw him talking on the phone. Judging the fact he was playing a game on his phone, I could tell the conversation wasn’t very important.
“Sure,” he said into the phone. “We’ll hit the green on Wednesday. Talk to you then.” He hung up then glanced up from his cell phone. “What’s up?” He kept hitting the screen with his fingers.
“What are you doing?”
“Playing Candy Crush with Trinity.”
I put my hands in my pockets and tried not to roll my eyes. “Pretty competitive?”
“Your sister is good at everything,” he said. “It’s annoying.”
“She has more annoying qualities than that.” I sat in the chair facing his desk.
“Do you need something?” he asked. “Because I’m busy here.”
“Playing Candy Crush makes you busy?” I cocked an eyebrow.
“Whatever,” he said. “I can do both. What’s up?”
I rubbed the side of my face as I tried to find the right words to say. “When do you think you and Sean will retire?”
That caught his attention. He stopped typing and looked up at me. “Why do you ask?”
I shrugged. “Just curious.”
“Well, consider Sean isn’t even back at work yet it seems like an odd time to ask.”
“If you were planning on
retiring soon then he wouldn’t need to come back at all.”
He put his phone on the desk. “He’s been working here for twenty years. That’s not how he’s going to go out. He needs to come back here for at least a few weeks before he finally walks out of here as the CEO for the last time.”
I nodded. “I guess that makes sense.”
“Why are you in such a hurry to get rid of us?”
“I’m not.”
Dad wasn’t buying it. “What’s on your mind, son?”
“I just wanted to know when Skye and I would be promoted. She and I are both ready—at least I think so.”
“I think so too,” he said.
“So…a few months then?”
He got a suspicious look on his face. “Why do you want to know? Just spit it out, Conrad.”
He backed me into a corner and I didn’t know how to get away. “I’m older now and…I’m thinking about my future.”
He had a blank look on his face. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“I want to know what my financial situation will be so I can start planning for things.”
“Like what?” he asked. “A house? Conrad, you can afford one with your salary as it is.”
I rubbed the back of my neck. “I was thinking more on the lines of…extending my family.” I held his gaze as I spoke and tried to keep a straight face.
He stared at me stoically for a long time. Then his face stretched into a smile. “Thinking about kids?”
What? “No, of course not.”
“Then…I’m confused.”
Did I really need to spell it out for him? “I’m thinking about proposing to Lexie.” I couldn’t believe I said the words out loud. Now they were true.
Dad slammed his hand down on the desk with a wide grin on his face. “That’s what I’m talking about. My son is really becoming a man.”
I rolled my eyes. “Let’s not act like a bunch of girls over this.”
“This is huge, Conrad. You already have the ring?”
“No,” I snapped. “I told you I was thinking about it. I didn’t say I was going to do it. I’d rather wait until I’m running this place. I feel like I have more to offer her.”
“Offer her?” Dad asked with a raised eyebrow. “Lexie doesn’t care about your salary or if you’re running this joint. That’s irrelevant to her. Just ask her.”
“I want her to know I’ll take care of her.”
“And you can’t do that now? You act like I don’t pay you anything.”
“Of course you do,” I said quickly. “I just…want to make sure she says yes.”
Dad tried not to laugh. “Conrad, she’ll say yes whether you’re the CEO of this place or not. Trust me.”
I rested my ankle on the opposite knee.
“I’m so happy for you, son.” He came around the desk then hugged me. “You’re about to make your mother and I very happy.”
I returned the embrace but not with as much effort. “I told you I was thinking about it. I haven’t decided yet.”
“What’s holding you back?”
I shrugged. “Not sure…”
He leaned against the desk and crossed his arms over his chest. “I think you do.”
I wouldn’t meet his gaze.
“Lexie would never hurt you, Conrad. You need to let go of this ridiculous fear and just live your life.”
I knew he was right. “I need to wait anyway. She’s going through a hard time right now and it’s just not the best time.”
Dad immediately switched into protective father mode. “Is she okay? Does she need anything?”
I didn’t see the harm in telling him. “Her parents are getting a divorce. She’s taking it pretty hard…”
“Oh…” His lips pressed tightly together in a frown. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Her father had an affair. Now he’s leaving his wife for this woman who’s half his age. Lexie is really worked up over it. She hates her father. Honestly, I don’t blame her.”
“I don’t either.” He continued to lean against the desk. “I wish there was something I could do to make her feel better.”
“That makes two of us.” She wanted to make love all the time, and that seemed to get her mind off it. I didn’t mind all the sex, but I hoped she wouldn’t always use it for comfort. But if she needed me for that task, of course I would deliver.
“When it comes to stuff like this all you can do is be there for her. You don’t need to say anything. Your presence in enough.”
She wanted a little more than my presence. “Yeah.”
“And when she moves past this…I really hope you get that ring.” He winked at me then walked back to his desk.
I kept going back and forth in my mind. Whenever Lexie stayed at my apartment, I never wanted her to leave. When she grabbed her things and left on Monday morning, it was always painful. I wanted her there all the time. I wanted to share my dresser and closet with her. I wanted to give her everything I had.
But I was also afraid to give her even a little bit of my heart. She had so much power over me. That woman had the ability to break my heart instantly, with just a flick of the wrist. I was at her mercy, and sometimes I wondered if she understood that.
But everyone said I was being paranoid. Lexie and I had a great relationship, and there was more than sex involved. We had a connection and a love that other people aspired to have. There was friendship, trust, and more importantly, understanding.
“Think about it this way,” Dad said. “Slade and Trinity are married, and they are happily married. Did you ever expect that to happen? Did you ever expect Slade to make Trinity so happy? Did you ever expect him not to hurt her?”
I shook my head.
“Not all relationships end in heartbreak, even the ones most likely to fail.”
CHAPTER SIX
Theo
Conrad and I headed to Slade’s tattoo shop.
“What’s new with you?” I asked.
“Not much,” he said. “Sean isn’t back to work yet and it’s weird not having him around.”
“It must be quiet,” I teased.
“It is,” he said. “Now I just have to get rid of my old man.”
“Then you would have the floor all to yourself,” I said. “That would be pretty sweet.”
“Well, I have to share it with Skye.”
“Oh yeah.” I forgot about her.
“And Ward is around a lot. But I like him.”
“You don’t like Skye?” I asked.
He shrugged. “She’s my cousin. I thought I’m not supposed to like her.”
We entered the shop and saw Slade and the rest of his band pack up their things.
“Ready for food?” Conrad asked.
“I’m starving.” Slade shut his guitar case then locked it.
“Why do you put it in a case if you’re just going to leave it here?” I asked.
“Just in case someone spills anything on it.” He put it inside the closet and shut the door.
“Who’s going to spill anything on it when it’s in the closet…?” Conrad tried not to smile.
“Hey, it could happen,” Slade said.
“Someone’s more likely to steal it,” I reasoned.
“And you just made your guitar more valuable by supplying the case with it,” Conrad added.
“Shut up,” Slade snapped. “If someone robs the shop, they’re going to take the cash and the equipment. Not my guitar.”
I leaned toward Conrad and lowered my voice. “We should take it just to pull a prank on him.”
Slade narrowed his eyes on me. “What did you say?”
“Nothing,” I said quickly.
Razor and Scotty said goodbye to Slade on their way out of the shop. Dee was still there. She was organizing the cord to her amp and stowing it away. She wore jean shorts with military booths. The look was a little odd, but she pulled it off because she had such nice curves. She wore a Black Sabbath t-shirt wi
th black studs in her ears. She dressed like a badass rocker, but she had such a feminine voice that it was disconcerting sometimes.
“Where do you want to eat?” Conrad asked.
“Shit, I don’t care,” Slade said. “But I need to go somewhere where they serve beer.”
“Why?” Actually, did I really want to know?
“Trinity won’t let me drink because we’re trying to have a baby.” He turned off the lights then headed through the door.
We followed him, Dee right behind us.
“Wait, what?” Conrad blurted. “You guys are trying to have a baby?”
“Didn’t I tell you that?” Slade locked the door. “Hey, Dee. We’re going out to eat. You want to come?”
“Uh…” She checked her watch. “I should probably turn in.”
“Come on,” Conrad said. “You must be hungry.”
I knew exactly why Conrad was pushing her so hard—because of me. “We’ll see you some other time then.” I wanted to get her off the hook so she would be free.
“Actually…sure, I’ll go.” She shouldered her bag.
“Sweet,” Conrad said.
“I just realized I have no food at my house,” Dee explained. “I ate everything.”
“Then let’s stop talking and start walking.” Slade took the lead but he carried himself in an odd way. He had a limp, like his thighs weren’t working properly.
“What’s wrong with you?” I asked.
“Sore,” Slade answered. “Trinity wants my dick twenty-four-seven.”
Conrad shot him a glare.
“What?” Slade snapped. “He asked.”
We entered Roger’s then took a booth. Slade immediately grabbed the menu and sat beside Dee. “I’m getting a steak.”
“At a bar?” I asked. “You think that’s a good idea?”
“I don’t care,” Slade said. “I’m starving. I could even eat you.”
“Don’t,” I said.
“So, when did you change your mind about kids?” Conrad asked.
Slade shrugged. “It was really important to Trinity and I couldn’t say no. That’s the bottom line.”
Dee smiled then patted him on the shoulder. “That’s really sweet.”