As much as I wanted to say how much I disagreed with that theory, I knew that it made a lot of sense. If the war hadn’t happened, I would have argued with Kelly on her reasoning behind having a child so soon after being crowned. However, I knew that insuring there would be another heir was important.
“We can discuss all of this at a later date. I was just curious about you and Sebastian.”
“I guess that is just a moot point anyhow. Even if I did think about Sebastian and that way we could not be together. I’m not allowed to fall in love, remember?” I said angrily.
“I know what you mean.”
I suddenly felt so involved, not taking her feelings into consideration. I hadn’t even asked how she was doing with her feelings for Storm since she had told me. “Is there any update between you and Storm?” I asked.
“Still the same,” she said.
“Did you know that not having true love was one of Queen Holly’s biggest regrets?”
“I can’t say I’m surprised. I think I’m just starting to realize how much it means to give it all up.”
“I’m sorry Cali.”
“I’ll get over it. While we’re on the subject, do you still feel the same way about Tyran?”
“I think I will always care about him in that way to some extent. The thing is, I know that I cannot trust him. I don't think I could spend my life with a man I could not trust.”
“Do you think you will set him free?”
“I don't know. I keep going back and forth on that choice. I believe him about still being loyal to me as well as this kingdom. I just cannot imagine setting him free and not making him really pay for what he has done.”
“What about Timothy and the others who betrayed the kingdom?”
“After the display of anger today at the memorial I think I will put it to a vote with the Heads suggesting the death penalty for Timothy. I don’t really feel safe with him around. As for as the others, I think I am going to wait until I feel as though we are safe from attack and I will eventually banish them.”
“You could banish them now,” she suggested.
“I know, it's just that I don't want to put them in any further danger. I don't want to take the chance of Aella finding and questioning them. Although we can erase their memories of Tamporlea, no one knows if Pyrencia has the capabilities of bringing those memories back.”
There was a knock on my door, which made me nervous considering the late hour. Cali got up and answered the door hesitantly.
“Sebastian what are you doing here so late?”
“May I come in?”
Cali looked at me questioning me and I nodded my head for her to let him in. He sat down in the chair next to me.
“Queen Jasmine, the other Guards and I have been cleaning out Lilliana's room. We found this note book, and I thought you might like to have it.”
“Thank you,” I said as I took the notebook from him.
“I am truly sorry for your loss.”
“Thank you Sebastian. You have been so kind to me.”
“Well, I will leave you for now. I just wanted to make sure you got this tonight. I will come for you tomorrow before Lilliana's funeral.”
“That will be fine. I will see you in the morning,” I said before walking him to the door and finally saying goodnight.
“Cali, I am sorry, but I must ask you to leave. Please don't think I am hiding anything from you. I just really need some time alone and I would rather read this privately. I will let you know everything that is in it and you can read it for yourself tomorrow.”
“I understand. If you need me please feel free to come down to my chambers. Even if I am sleeping, don't hesitate to wake me up.”
“Thank you Cali. I will see you in the morning.”
When she left me, I went into my room with Lilliana's notebook. She had doodled little daisies and roses on the cover of the book. I ran my hand over them just trying to feel a piece of my sister. The first page of the book was a letter to me.
Dear Jasmine,
I am so sorry to leave you so soon after meeting you. This was something both you and I know needed to be done. I no longer feel I belong anywhere, and I will always be seen as a threat to your people. As much as you and I would like to really know each other, I think we both know that even if I lived a perfectly honest life under your kingdom, people would fear not only me but any future children I may have. As you know I was raised learning all about this kingdom and I must admit that I really do love this place and wish I had my opportunity to be Queen. Because of my love for this place, I have chosen to take my own life.
I want you to know that I do not regret this choice I have made. I know that is what is best for Tamporlea and that is what matters to me and I’m sure Tamporlea is what matters most to you.
I would also like to let you know that I am so lucky to have met you at all. Please always remember that I do love you Jasmine. This notebook holds all the information I could think of regarding Pyrencia. I spent my days and nights just thinking and thinking of what I should put in here. I was afraid of not telling you something that I thought to be insignificant but could really be a major clue. So I am giving you every tiny detail of that kingdom no matter how insignificant it may seem.
I hope that I will always be in your heart not only because I am your sister but because we had become friends in such short a time. I love you.
Your sister always,
Lilliana.
When I turned the pages I saw that she had drawn on a map of each floor of the palace of Pyrencia.
She had also drawn a map of the other houses within the kingdom and pointed out who lived where. Although we were not technically at war with them, this information could prove to be very important in the future. The next sixty pages were filled with everything that you could imagine about Pyrencia. I did not know how much Tamporlea already knew, but I hoped Cali would think this notebook would be a very important document to keep.
She also wrote that there were journals under a loose floorboard in the room where she stayed in the palace. I didnt know how I would get them but I wanted to think of a way, maybe Cali could think of something because I couldn't just ask Queen Aella for them.
Chapter 9
Orion’s Secret
In the morning, I took a shower and started to get ready for Lilliana's funeral. Somehow I was managing to keep it together. I went through my speech in my head, determined to remember everything I wanted to say. I had it all written out just in case I forgot an important point. Actually, it was Cali who suggested I write it in case she needed to take over for me.
Sebastian came up to my quarters much earlier than needed. He said that he just wanted to make sure I was okay.
"Right now I seem to be doing alright," I told him.
"I know you have Cali and I don't mean to disrespect her position at all but if you ever need anyone to talk to, you know I am here for you right?"
"I know Sebastian and thank you."
“Mykel has requested that I sit next to Cali just in case Aella makes an appearance, I will be right near you. Is that okay with you?”
“Of course Sebastian. Queen Aella doesn’t even know about the funeral though so I don’t think we’ll have much to worry about today.” As soon as it was out of my mouth, I felt an urge to knock on wood. It would be just my luck if she were to arrive today.
As we made our way down to the inlaid T, I saw that there were more people than I was expecting. Cali was greeting everyone as they were taking their seats. Tyran was sitting in the front with Mykel and they both smiled at me sympathetically as I made my way to the front. Cali and Sebastian took their seats and I looked out to the crowd to give my sister’s eulogy.
“I’ve always known that I had a twin sister who supposedly passed away shortly after birth. I had always wondered what it would be like to have grown up with Lilliana. Would we be best friends? Would we like the same things?
“When I learned that
I was robbed of a childhood with my twin sister because of Queen Aella, I was obviously very angry. I only had a few short days to get to know my sister and there are a few things that I know for sure. Lilliana had an incredibly innocent heart that allowed her to trust too easily. She grew up in Pyrencia where she was treated like a princess but was deceived every day of her life. She was a victim of circumstances beyond her control.
“When she realized that she had been deceived for her entire 17 years, she didn't know how to cope with that. She was brought here to Tamporlea, to a place she knew she was supposed to rule one day but that opportunity had been ripped away from her. I think it is very important that we never forget that Lilliana was supposed to be your Queen. She was the one who received the magic on which this kingdom is built. It was never her choice to have that destiny ripped away from her.
"With that being said, I think it is very important that I address the way in which Lilliana chose to leave this earth. Suicide is never the right thing to do, no matter how desperate the situation may seem. I don't know how prevalent suicide is in this kingdom but I would like to have Lilliana be the last person to take their own life here."
I had held it together pretty well up to now but I started to think of all the things that Lilliana would be missing out on. Getting married, having children, grandchildren. I tried to keep talking but I was soon overcome with emotion. Tyran was the first to realize what I was experiencing and he rushed to my side. I was sure that he had heard my thoughts. Cali and Sebastian both put their arms around me and allowed Tyran to continue on with the service, reading the speech that I had prepared. I couldn't even listen as I cried into Sebastian’s chest and Cali rubbed my back. This was not the way I wanted the kingdom to see me as Queen but it was good that they saw that I was grieving just as everyone else surely was.
Cali ended the services for me although I had stopped crying by the time Tyran finished the speech I had prepared. She knew I was in a fragile state, ready to break down again at any time. As people made their way up the incline to return to their homes, I noticed Mykel walking with Tyran and for the first time since I confronted Tyran for what he had done, it no longer made as much sense to have him locked away. I wasn’t sure if it was my emotional state that made me realize this, so I decided to wait until I could be positive that setting him free was the right thing to do.
Cali asked if I would like her to come with me to my room, but I told her that I just wanted to be alone right now. She stayed around the inlaid T to say goodbye to everyone as Sebastian escorted me to my room.
“I will be right here if you need anything,” he told me.
“Thank you Sebastian.”
As I made my way to my room, I couldn’t help but wish that Casper was still with me. He had helped me so much when my dad died, and I knew that he would be just as much of a comfort while I was grieving my sister. Also I knew it was selfish, but I wanted that love again. The unconditional love from an animal is a beautiful thing and I could not imagine going the rest of my life living without another pet.
Around dinnertime, Cali came up in the elevator and asked me if I was going to join everyone for dinner. I told her that I didn’t really feel up to it. She tried to encourage me to go, but I just wanted to be alone. She said that the Heads had requested a meeting with me after dinner.
“Will you go?” She asked.
“I’ll be there.”
“Okay, I will see you around nine then.”
After she left, I didn’t know what to do. I thought about lying down, but I wasn’t tired. I ended up settling on the couch with Lilliana’s notebook. I looked through it again, not really reading anything. Her handwriting was a lot like mine. Our J’s were exactly alike and she even wrote her question marks the same. As I read through some of her passages, I wondered what was in Orion’s book. I knew that if there was anything that would help me, Tyran would tell me, but that didn’t make me any less curious about what was written.
I knew that I had to go visit Tyran. I wanted to thank him for taking over today and I think it was time to let him go. Right now was the perfect time since everyone, including Cali and Sebastian, were at dinner. They could see me go to his room but I wouldn’t be bombarded with questions along the way.
When Tyran let me in, it was obvious there was something bothering him. I thought maybe I had caught him at a bad time but he insisted it was fine that I was there. I noticed that Orion’s book was sitting on the cushion next to Tyran and I wondered what was written inside to make him so upset.
“I wanted to thank you for taking over for me today.”
“You don’t need to thank me for that.”
“I also wanted to let you know that I have decided to set you free, at least partially.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Well, you’re free to leave your home, you can even walk the grounds, but you may not leave the kingdom’s grounds until I feel comfortable with it. Also, if I find out that you have any further involvement with Pyrencia, you will be sentenced to death. I know that may seem harsh…”
“No, it’s reasonable. I won’t let you down,” he said.
“Is everything okay?” I asked. “I thought you would be a little happier to get out of here.”
“What’s going on between you and Sebastian?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Come on, Jasmine. There’s something going on between you two.”
“No, there’s really not. We’re just friends and he was appointed as my Guard.”
“I see the way he looks at you.”
“Tyran, what’s this really about?”
“I’ve screwed everything up. I’ve lost you. My father would be so proud.”
“Your father?”
Tyran picked up Orion’s book and flipped through the pages until he found what he was looking for. He read, “I hope that someday you are able to forgive me for waiting until after my death to tell you that I am your father.”
“No way.”
“He goes on to tell me that the reason for keeping this a secret was because it was either that or banish my mother for going outside her tier and his sentence would be death.”
“Tyran, I don’t even know what to say about this.”
“You know what? That wasn’t even the hardest thing to read it this book. Listen to this.” He flipped to the last few pages in the book and read, “I don’t want you to doubt for one second how much I loved you and your sister. Even more so, I want you to know that I was very much in love with your mother. She was my world for three years but it had to be in secret. I don’t want you to follow in my footsteps there Tyran. When you fall in love, don’t let anything stop you from being with her. If she’s not in your tier take her and move away from Tamporlea. Love is the most important thing in the world.” He set the book aside and rested his head in his hands. “I have lost you because of my own stupidity. Orion was right, love is the most important thing in the world and I screwed it up by not telling you what I had done.”
“Tyran, even if you had told me, you know that we can’t be together.”
“I know the laws! I’ve lived here all my life. There’s all these stupid laws preventing two people from being together; I wonder if whoever created them knew what it was like to be in love. It still kills me to know that even if you could experience love the way all people should, you could never trust me. That’s my fault. Just let me ask you one thing. Do you hate me?”
“No, I don’t hate you. Not even close actually.”
“I’m sorry Jasmine. I’m so sorry for everything I have done. I promise I won’t let you down again.”
“I know you won’t,” I said confidently.
I sat with him for a long time, mostly in silence. I wanted to ask a million questions about how he felt about Orion being his father. I wanted to know what he was going to tell his sister and if he was going to confront his mother. I knew that right now all he was thinking about was t
he fact that he had lost me. I would have to save my questions for another time.
When I finally left him, Sebastian was waiting outside the door. Apparently he didn’t miss the fact that I went to Tyran’s room while everyone was at dinner.
“I’m just going to go talk to Cali. You really don’t need to follow me around all the time,” I said trying not to sound to irritated.
“Mykel says I do.”
“Well, last I checked, Mykel wasn’t Queen.”
“I’m sorry Your Highness. Tell me what you want me to do.”
“No, you’re fine. I’m just on edge tonight. I’m sorry for snapping at you.”
I knocked on Cali’s door and heard her yell for me to come in. She was in the kitchen making tea when I joined her. She was obviously not very pleased to see me for some reason.
“Our meeting is in an hour,” she said.
“I know. I just wanted to let you know what’s going on with Tyran.”
“Why?”
“Cali, I’m trying to make an effort to do what I should have been doing all along.”
“Okay, so what’s going on with Tyran?” she asked with fake interest.
“I let him go.”
“I’m not surprised. You want some tea?”
“No thanks. So, I let him go but with some restrictions.” I went on to explain, while we made our way to the dining table, what conditions I gave to Tyran. She seemed to think that I was reasonable which made me feel better considering it seemed like there was nothing we agreed upon lately.
“There’s something else too. You remember that book that you put in my bag before Tyran and I left Tamporlea?”
“Yeah, the book by the box. I remember.”
“Well, as it turns out, it was Orion’s journal of sorts. Orion is Tyran’s father.”
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