by Kailin Gow
“Shall we go in?” Salvatore asked.
“Is it still open?” I whispered. I wasn’t sure why I felt like I needed to whisper but I did.
“Yes, people can pray whenever they want to.”
I nodded my head and the two of us walked in. We sat down on a bench and I’ll admit, I watched Salvatore say a prayer through the corner of my eye, touched by how sincere and deep in thought he looked. It was yet another appealing side to him that I’d never seen before.
There is so much to this man.
We left and headed back to the heart of Rome, closer to where the hotel was, and I couldn’t have been any happier. It had been an ideal day.
Every one of my senses were alive. The smells of the bakeries and restaurants made my mouth water. Seeing places in person instead of on a postcard or on the Internet was incredible. Feeling Salvatore’s touch on my hands and the occasional kiss on my lips was tantalizing. The noises of people talking in the seductive Italian language made me come alive. Taking small bites of delectable pastries satisfied my pallet. Everything was magical and amazing.
“I need something to drink,” I said, smiling at Salvatore.
“We shall dance to some music and have a drink then,” he said, taking me by the hand and leading me to a central square that had some musicians playing. Along the sides of the square, several vendors were selling their fares.
“Sounds great,” I said, looking around at all the romance and magic of the area. Of course, not everyone was looking like a giddy tourist the way I was but everyone did seem happy and content in their own way. It was lovely.
Salvatore left to get us something to drink and I sat down on a bench, looking around at everything.
“Here you go,” he said, offering me a cup.
I took a sip, feeling my parched mouth dissipate from the cool liquid.
“This is great? What is it?”
“Fresh made juice.”
“I like it.”
“Let’s dance,” Salvatore said with a huge smile.
“Okay,” I said, not able to resist the thought. Plus, the music was infectious and lively. I couldn’t say for certain but I think it was Roma that were playing—Gypsies as they were known by some people. They were very talented, whomever they were, and I loved it.
What a day it had been—so overwhelming yet so welcomed. I never would have thought I’d see Salvatore when I took flight that morning and after spending the amazing evening with him in his home country my head was spinning. In fact, it was spinning a lot.
Aside from being giddy from jet lag and whatever was going on, I felt my defenses to keep it casual with Salvatore lessening. I’d somehow made it seem logical that it was okay to sneak the occasional kiss because it was harmless. I found it amazing what I could justify when it came to Salvatore and what I wanted to do with him.
“I think I’d better go,” I said.
“Okay,” Salvatore said. “It’s late and we have to start the show early tomorrow. That makes sense.”
I saw the disappointment in his eyes and the slowly fading smile on his face.
“It’s been an amazing day.”
“It has and I’m so glad I got to give it to you. Too bad we never made it to my home town. You’d like it.”
“Next time.”
“Yes, next time.”
We walked away hand in hand. Salvatore’s heat kept the chilliness of the nighttime air from making me cold. What a great night it had been—almost like a fairytale.
Chapter 7
I stretched out, yawning and absolutely exhausted. My hand hit something next to me and I jumped, whipping my head to the side. Salvatore! Then I lifted up the sheet and looked down. I was naked. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to tell what had happened the night before.
Not wanting to wake Salvatore and trying to think things through, I laid on my back, not daring to move a muscle but my brain was racing like crazy. I had no idea what had happened…well, I had an idea but how had it happened. We’d been dancing and enjoying some music, kissing some, and drinking some juice. How could I have been so stupid? That wasn’t juice, it was Sangria and I should have known better.
Did I really want to know? Let’s be honest here.
“Good morning, how are you doing, beautiful?” a sleepy yet alluring voice asked.
I turned and saw Salvatore smiling at me, stretching out and showing his amazing body, firm olive colored skin and messy hair that made him look so desirable. So naked and inviting. He was like a beautiful Adonis statue come to life. Did he do that on purpose?
“I’m not sure what to say,” I said. I wanted to smile and kiss him but I also wanted to cry. I had put myself back to ground zero in a single night. In fact, I hadn’t even lasted a full day in Italy without making a mess of things. What was wrong with me?
“I know what to say. It was an incredible evening, one we both wanted and there’s no denying that our chemistry is still there. It’s meant to be.”
I looked over to Salvatore and while my eyes were drinking in his beautiful body my mind was trying to figure out what to do.
In a lame effort, I mumbled, “I thought that was juice, not Sangria.”
Salvatore looked guilty.
“You knew that?” I asked incredulously.
“I thought one would relax you but then I got carried away, just like you. I am not used to drinking.”
“Oh Salvatore, what have we done?” I groaned and rubbed my hands through my hair. “What have we done?”
“I don’t think it was a mistake,” he said, unable to hide the hurt.
“It wasn’t for you and I but for everyone else…that’s important, too…” No words to clarify things came out of my mind. I wanted Salvatore and I wanted him badly but the rest of the world seemed to think we were an ill fit. We weren’t that far apart in age so even though I’d been his ‘tutor,’ it hadn’t really meant that we were not meant to be more to each other.
It was the fact that we were both in relationships that meant that.
I wondered that if I’d known Salvatore had a fiancé if I would have allowed things to ever go as far as they did the past summer. My suspicions told me that I would have found a way to justify it. I’d do anything to feel the physical presence of this man against my skin and even more than that, to have a great conversation with him. It was all so natural, so effortless. It was meant to be.
Stop thinking that!
“Taylor, are you okay?” Salvatore asked, shaking my arm gently.
“Yes,” I said and then I sat up, wrapping the sheet around my chest as if Salvatore had never seen it before. I didn’t want to get distracted from what I had to say, though. “That felt so good and I’m not sorry we did it but it can’t happen again. Do you understand why?”
“I understand why you are saying it, Taylor. It frustrates me, though. Don’t you see that you are the only one who cares about how you treat Chase. He doesn’t care about how he treats you. And me, I have a fiancé I barely know. I like her and we get what’s expected but I know that she has trysts with others.”
“That doesn’t bother you?” I asked.
“What can I really say? I’m not a hypocrite,” Salvatore said.
“And I am?” I asked, feeling a lump rising in my chest.
“No, things are different here, Taylor. Many people look at relationships differently, have mistresses, and whatnot. I am not like that. I want to know that one day when I do get married I am going to be with the one woman I love and want to be with every day until I draw my last breath.”
I wasn’t sure if he was hinting it was me but it confirmed that I had to be responsible here and do the right thing, regardless of how delightful it was to do what my heart desired—which was have Salvatore from head to toe, inside and out.
“This is getting so complicated,” I said. “If I’m going to stay here and help work the tradeshow with you, we have to make sure this doesn’t happen again.”
“Of
course,” Salvatore said. “I understand and I will respect your wishes, Tay.”
Then he got up and left me watching him walk in his naked glory across the hotel room to his clothes. He got dressed and turned around and said, “My room is just down the hall. I’d best go shower and get ready for the tradeshow. It starts in an hour. I’ll see you there, boss.”
“See you there,” I said. I couldn’t hide my smile and laughter. Leave it to Salvatore to take the awkward out of the situation and help me regain my focus. He always knew just the right thing to do.
Chapter 8
I was so excited for the tradeshow, eager to show my dad that I could handle things while he was under the weather and really contribute something positive to the family business. It went pretty well but one problem existed that I could not ignore—Salvatore and I had insane sexual chemistry brewing and it was noticeable.
Standing at the booth, Salvatore and I got to meet all types of people that knew our parents and were now meeting us for the first time. I found myself explaining more than just what the business had to offer and what was new.
“Your father is a great man; one of my favorite to work with,” one gentleman said that represented the Louvre.
“Thank you. It’s exciting to help him out with the business.”
“I hope he gets better soon.”
“You and me both,” I said.
“At least he has an obviously bright, young woman looking out for the family business. And from the looks of it, I can tell that your two families merged more than just business ventures. You two are a lovely couple.”
“Oh…um…we’re not a couple,” I stumbled. Yet I somehow felt guilty for saying that in front of Salvatore.
“We just work very well together,” Salvatore added.
“I see,” the man said and then he winked at Salvatore.
This type of thing went on for the entire two days of the tradeshow and while I had to repeat the same thing over many times I had a hunch that I didn’t sound that convincing; or worse yet—like I was convincing me, not everyone who asked.
During the occasional downtime I would look at Salvatore and say, “Can you believe they think we’re a couple? Just because we get along so well…”
“European people are very perceptive to these sorts of things.”
I wasn’t sure what his response was implying but I quickly realized that although his words mimicked mine, Salvatore’s actions clearly showed that he did want us to be lovers…in love…whatever you want to call it.
You are lovers and you know damn well you love him, I thought.
Every night I’d email over a report to my father, who was curious about it from afar. He said it wasn’t necessary but I knew he was curious about it. For Dad, it was the sales. For Mom, it was making sure I was behaving. Overall, Dad would be happier with the results than my mom; especially if she ever found out I’d slipped. I didn’t see how she would but crazy things seemed to unfold without my wanting them to when it came to Salvatore. My draw to him was just so strong and no amount of sales pitches could talk me out of that fact.
As we were packing up the exhibit, we talked casually and I tried to keep it focused on business this time. No innuendos or flirty behavior, which I couldn’t resist doing with him. I wanted him to want me and while my mouth said ‘no,’ my body said ‘yes!’ It was maddening.
“We got six prospective new clients. That’s not too bad for two days’ worth of work,” I commented.
“Not bad at all. You’re a natural, Taylor.”
“And so are you,” I said, smiling at him. My heart skipped a beat. “It was also great to put some faces with the names that I’ve heard about for so many years. I really enjoyed that.”
“I am learning them for the first time but I know what a valuable part of the business they are. It is nice, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, even though …” I stopped my words short. I was heading down the path that I had been trying to avoid—again.
“Even though they think we’re lovers,” Salvatore finished.
I blushed and smiled.
“Why do you think that is?” he asked.
“This isn’t the place to talk about it,” I said.
“Where should we talk about it?” he asked.
“How about the café down the street?”
Salvatore shook his head no at my suggestion, smiling in a wildly seductive way at me.
“No, I don’t think so. I think it’s more private than that. We should talk about it in one of our rooms.” He brushed his hand softly on my forearm and my entire body went into convulsive tingles.
He was so incredibly sexy and alluring!
“Okay, in private is probably best,” I said softly, barely able to choke out the words.
The two of us worked faster to pack up the rest of the display and it was quite obvious that we were eager to be alone together so we could discuss why we shouldn’t be alone together. The irony!
We ended up in my room after everything was packed up and I knew I had to get what I had to say out quickly before I changed my mind. It had changed so many times and I was exhausted from trying to keep up with the battle between my mind, my heart, and my body. Two out of three were pulling for Salvatore to win. Okay, parts of my mind were, too.
The two of us sat down on the edge of the bed with enough distance between us that we could angle our bodies to look at each other.
I began. “We can’t be together, Salvatore. It would negatively impact too many other people.”
“Why should we sacrifice our happiness for others? In the end, it’s us we have to live with—us we go to bed with at the end of the day and wake up with. No one else.”
“I know what you’re saying and it makes sense but it’s not a good idea.”
“Why?”
I couldn’t stand it when Salvatore made me explain why to those types of questions. It was so hard to explain why and there was no truly satisfying explanation anyway.
“Look, I’m miserable when I don’t see you and I know it’s the same for you. It’s not that I don’t want you because I do, Salvatore. However, I can’t be with you when I’m with Chase. I won’t cheat and be a bad person that way. I just can’t do that.”
“Then dump your cheating asshole of a boyfriend,” Salvatore said in a particularly aggressive way. He was always so composed in his words but he didn’t hold back on that opinion.
“It’s not that simple. I cannot let him or our families down again.”
“And it’s okay to let me down?” Salvatore asked. He cast his head down and added, “I see.”
“No, it’s not okay to let you down, either. The problem is that someone has to be let down.”
“So you and I are going to take the hit for everyone? Chase doesn’t even care as long as he gets his way. His family is all about positioning and not at all about love or genuine feelings. Is that what you want?”
I shook my head no.
Salvatore continued talking. “Don’t you want a relationship like your parents have? They look at each other with love and heart, not just as an asset.”
His words pierced my heart because I’d always dreamed of having a love like my parents’. They understood each other, complimented each other, and naturally flowed together. It was always brilliant to me and ‘ideal.’
I felt my defenses crumbling and it actually felt good, like a relief. It was as if I was a river being held back by a dam, just longing for it to open. Well, it opened and it felt good. All the pressure gone; all the stress alleviated.
“I can’t consciously be with you and Chase at the same time,” I said.
“I understand. You’re too good of a person for that,” Salvatore said, leaning in and giving me a hug. “We both know that it eats us up to be away from each other for too long. We can’t change that or control it, Taylor.”
“I know,” I said, reaching my hand over and placing it on top of his. Another set of shocks surged through
me from his touch.
“Do you want privacy while you call him?” Salvatore asked.
“You want me to call him right now?” I asked, suddenly feeling nervous and a bit horrified. It was rather uncouth to do something like what I had to do over the telephone but if my mind was made up and I wanted to make the most out of my remaining time in Italy with a clearer conscience there was no other choice.