“Nope. Today was the last of the secrets.”
But what about you? she felt like asking. Tell me what you’re hiding. Because I’ve seen it in your eyes so many times. The bitterness. The isolation.
Asking him would’ve been opening a Pandora’s box, and Christina knew better. She might as well leave things as they were now, with an easy companionship just hovering over their attraction. Digging deeper would get her in over her head.
Or would it make her fall just a little more?
They’d driven their own vehicles to La Villita so, as they said their goodbyes in the public parking lot, there was a Saturday night crowd swarming around them. Keeping her in check. Taking away the spell of being alone with him.
Still, as they parted ways, she couldn’t help looking back over her shoulder. Just one last peek.
He was watching her, too, thumbs hooked in the pockets of his jeans.
Their shared glance jolted her, made her want to run back to him, cover him in shawl-soft kisses.
But, instead, as mist from the river filtered through the light from a street lamp, then down to him, he raised his hand.
Bye.
She did the same, almost feeling as if she were using her palm to push him away.
That night, her sleep was restless, brimming with sweet, impossible dreams of him. Dreams painted with sighs, red lace, diamonds sparkling with the fervor of Gloria’s engagement ring.
And when she woke up the next morning, she found a package on her doorstep. Brown paper wrapped around a gift.
The shawl.
As she stood on her threshold in her robe, holding the present to her face, taking in the scent of roses and old memories, Christina felt her heart stumble.
A prelude to the ultimate fall.
Chapter Twelve
Sunday morning, Derek missed Christina’s phone call because he was out on the river.
But the sound of her voice on the answering machine shook him up all the same.
I got your gift, she’d said. Thank you, Derek. You seem to know how to make me happy.
Of course, he’d glowed for the rest of the day, smiling to himself every once in a while as he caught up on office work in his condo.
How did she have such power over him? Either he couldn’t figure it out or he didn’t want to.
All Derek knew was that the sight of her in the red shawl had not only aroused him physically, but emotionally, too.
When’s the last time he’d impulsively wrapped a woman in his embrace like that? Never, that’s when. He’d never wanted to hold on to someone so tightly, bundle them up to keep them warm and safe.
Even though she’d refused the shawl in the end, he’d known that she longed for it. So while she’d poked around the candy section, he’d purchased the item, coming back for it after they’d said goodbye in the parking lot.
Then delivering it to her door in the wee hours of the morning.
It’d taken a lot of strength not to knock, to beg to come in. But he’d done it, knowing Christina Mendoza was a woman who required respectful treatment.
When Monday morning rolled around, Derek was still consumed with her, but surely this stronger-than-usual infatuation would wear off soon.
Wouldn’t it?
True to form, he arrived before the rest of the building did. Sometimes he even beat Christina to the office, but not today.
She was waiting in the chair by his desk, going over some reports, when he walked in. Surprisingly, she had her hair down, the dark-brown strands raining over her shoulders and tucked behind her ears. She was also wearing khaki slacks and a striking red blouse that brought out the glow of her skin, the shine of her eyes.
They’d been instructed to dress casually today, since a “team building leader” would be putting them through physical exercises later in the conference room. Derek was even planning to don some jeans himself.
After his heart stopped jumping up and down in gleeful excitement at the sight of her, it occurred to him that he wouldn’t mind seeing her first thing in the morning all the time.
But he’d get over this.
Even if…
My God, she was so beautiful.
She was flashing a smile at him as he lay his briefcase on a table. “Hi. I was hoping to catch you before everyone else came trooping in.”
He found that he couldn’t look at her without losing a part of himself. But he forced himself to, keeping the desk between them as insurance.
“I’m all yours,” he said, cringing at his words. They were too true.
Standing, she set her papers on the chair. “A phone call didn’t seem to be sufficient for what you gave me.”
“The shawl?” He shrugged, trying to convince himself that he hadn’t been sending her more than just a gift. That the shawl hadn’t actually been some kind of message.
But what the hell had he been trying to say?
“I…” She wandered closer. “I’ve never received anything so wonderful before. I want you to know that.”
When he glanced up at her, he expected to find The Christina Blush veiling her face, the shyness and distance.
That wasn’t what he got.
Instead, she was watching him intently, boldly. Deep emotion stirred in her gaze, drawing him in, inviting him to claim it.
Her expression took the air right out of him, making time stop. He was sorely aware of her, of the images spinning in his mind.
Sir telling little Derek that he needed discipline, commitment to win in life, then forcing his son to hold up his shaking hands for two full hours just to prove his point.
Sir commanding his son to stand guard over Mom’s open casket at the funeral, never allowing him to leave his post, even when Derek couldn’t bear to see her unmoving body another second.
In a change of pattern, Derek then saw himself joining the Marines, ignoring Sir’s phone calls and letters.
Sir’s own funeral, attended by only five people, where Derek hesitated when he accepted the folded flag that had covered his father’s coffin.
Derek dating woman after woman, overcompensating, bucking any kind of structure, just to prove his point to the world.
Rattled, Derek glanced away, wanting to chase off the memories as well as Christina’s silent offer of something more than he could return.
“You looked good in the shawl,” he said, forcing a grin, the gesture weighing heavily. “So I bought it.”
She just stood there, tracing the edge of his desk with her finger. “Oh. All right.”
Had she interpreted the shawl to mean something more?
Well, it had. But admitting it would take Derek in a direction he wasn’t willing to travel.
The truth was that he’d merely been swept away by his libido during the weekend. Shaping this gift into some kind of grand gesture would be a mistake.
“Ready for our meeting?” he asked, desperate to concentrate on work—his savior.
“Sure.” She smoothed down her slacks and backed away, retrieving her papers. “See you in the conference room in an hour then?”
“Will do.” Derek concerned himself with booting up his computer.
As she left his office, his regret grew, blinding him to his surroundings.
Forget Fortune-Rockwell.
Why had he been such a jerk to her? Why had he turned her away, just as she’d been opening up to him?
Swiveling his chair so he faced his grand window view of San Antonio, Derek berated himself for pushing her away.
It was a lecture far worse than any of Sir’s had been.
Christina placed information packets before every conference room chair, preparing for the meeting. Seth had developed the bright idea of hosting a management retreat, just to strengthen the impression that Fortune-Rockwell was starting anew, that they all needed to bond in order to make this branch successful again.
Today, they were interviewing a team building leader who specialized in encouraging employees to be more posi
tive, to trust their co-workers through exercises. Therapy.
Lord knew Christina needed some herself.
What had she been doing, laying herself on the line with Derek like that? Oh, boy, had it been a mistake.
To think, she’d been willing to express her growing feelings for him. To tell him she was ready to take things to the next level, whatever that meant. She’d never gotten past square two of a relationship, so this was all new to her. Exciting.
Hope defying.
She’d tried to articulate to him how much that shawl meant. The gift had shown her that he’d looked deep inside her soul and noticed her burning need to be desired and loved. No man had ever paid such attention to her, looking beyond the prim suits and cool attitude.
But Derek was different, she’d thought. He could see through her, into her.
Christina should’ve known better. When God had been giving out luck with men, she’d gotten to the front of the line only to have them run plum out of it.
Heck, she was used to burying herself in work to avoid this pain, and she’d just go right back to doing it. No problemo.
She’d recover. Someday.
Even though she’d already lost her heart to the guy.
Yes, she was hopelessly enamored. During the course of their working relationship, her itty-bitty crush had turned into something much scarier.
And more sublime.
Over the next few minutes, the casually dressed personal development team—Seth, Jonathan, Adam and Ben—reported to the conference room, and she was there to meet them with a pasted-on smile. Good old responsible Christina, the woman dedicated to her professional calling. Yes, that was her. Still.
Soon, the team building leader arrived, as did Jack and Derek, who sat in the seat next to her, dressed in jeans, a button-down and his work boots. His clothes reminded her of their weekend, the casual ruffle of his hair, the family man demeanor.
As everyone settled down for the meeting, Christina accidentally glanced at him, discovering that he was already watching her, an apology in his gaze.
Blood kicking in her veins, she didn’t know how to respond. Had something changed since this morning?
When his hand skimmed over her thigh under the table, Christina thought she could maybe take a good guess.
The meeting started, and she took his hand in hers, holding her breath to see how he’d react.
He ran his thumb over her fingers, stroking, setting her at ease.
Oh, but she was melting again. Not good. Businesswomen didn’t turn to slush in the middle of important meetings.
They managed to hide their contact for a while, linking pinkies, playing a bout of squeeze tag, basically attempting to seem very serious above the table.
Then the team building leader asked them to get to their feet for a sample of one of his “trust exercises.”
It was the one where someone stands on the table, falls backward without looking and everyone catches the victim.
“I hate this kind of stuff,” Derek whispered in Christina’s ear as they lined up on opposite sides to face each other. The scent of her hair wove around his thoughts.
“Focus on work,” she whispered back.
He couldn’t wait for a break so he could talk to her, tell her…what? That he wanted to sleep with her again and that’s it?
Jonathan, a really tiny guy, had volunteered to take the initial fall, so he climbed on the table, telling the participants that they’d better catch him or else.
Derek took the opportunity to send Christina a smile—not one of his gimme-some grins, either. This one was filled with a softness he hadn’t known he’d possessed.
Across the aisle, Jack saw it, brow cocking in question.
In fact, after all of them had taken their turns falling—frightening as hell, that exercise—they took a break, and Jack intercepted Derek before he could take Christina aside.
His partner took him into Derek’s nearby office, then shut the door. “What was that?”
“I know.” Derek played dumb. “Damned headshrinking exercises.”
“No, that’s not what I’m talking about.” Jack’s blue eyes were saucered with surprise, and not even in a bad way. “I saw those puppy-love looks you were giving Christina.”
“Aw, come on. Just because you got engaged doesn’t mean the rest of the world is riding on hearts, Jack.”
“You’re so full of…” His partner shook a finger at him. “I’ve been noticing a definite metamorphosis. Back in New York, I knew a man who was aggressive and one immovable warrior. But something happened here. Ever since Christina Mendoza walked into your office…”
Panic needled Derek. “I haven’t lost my edge.”
“Not in business. But you haven’t been seen around town with a string of women, either. What happened?”
“I’ll be getting into the swing of the San Antonio social life. I just need the time to do it. Don’t worry.”
“And your hair?”
Derek touched it. “What?”
“It’s longer.” Jack gestured to his own black strands. “My mom was the one who mentioned it, because women don’t let any detail go unnoticed.”
“Oh.” So Derek hadn’t gone for his weekly cut. Big deal. Ever since Christina had mentioned the military-like precision of his style, it’d bothered Derek. Growing it out felt damned good.
“I’m worried for you.” Jack plopped onto the leather couch. “Too many weird changes.”
Could this be true? Jack, Derek’s own self-appointed nemesis, was concerned?
A smile burst over his face. He’d finally hit that home run over the far fence, and Jack was here to see it.
His big-brother figure continued, shaking his head. “I thought you’d be the last man standing, Derek, impervious to love.”
Love? LOVE? Who said anything about…?
Had he gone and done it with Christina? And was it that damned obvious?
Stunned, Derek started pacing, trying to find a way out of this box he found himself in. “Christina deserves a guy who can commit.”
“Absolutely.”
“And that’s never been my style.”
Jack paused, giving Derek time to realize how stupid he sounded.
“Why not?” asked his partner.
Yeah, why not?
Because, even now, when he’d halfway admitted his feelings for her, he was short of breath, scared witless.
But, even without having Jack lecture him about the joys of falling for a woman—which he started to do anyway, just because he claimed more experience—Derek knew he could never settle down enough to make Christina happy.
Being a numbers guy, he knew the bottom line.
And this was it.
When Derek had taken off with Jack during the break, Christina had been left to wonder what the heck was going on.
Wasn’t there a lot to say to each other?
Of course, they were at work, which made that sort of talk all the riskier. Maybe, at the end of the day, they could safely hash things out?
On her way back to her own office—she just had to check her e-mail—Twyla found her, asking if they could talk.
Once there, they sat in opposing chairs, Christina facing the petite blonde who’d tried to bring her down with words.
“How can I help you, Twyla?” Not as rude as she wanted to be, but not entirely welcoming, either.
“I wanted to touch base, if that’s okay.” Her subordinate handed over a stack of bound papers. “Everything you need to know about Fortune-Rockwell’s new personal development classes and more.”
The young worker beamed at a job well done and, as Christina leafed through the documents, she couldn’t help but to be impressed.
“This is excellent,” she said. “Thank you, Twyla.”
“You’re welcome.” She didn’t make a move to leave.
“Anything else?”
“Yes.” She took a deep breath, exhaled. “I was wondering if I could be all
owed back on your team.”
If Twyla hadn’t broached the subject, Christina would have. She’d thought a lot about giving Twyla a second chance, but something unexpected had happened since she’d returned to Red Rock.
Christina had gained confidence.
And she’d come to realize that allowing an employee to backstab her yet again was a slap in the face, not only to her, but to the team members who’d worked their rear ends off to keep their ethics intact.
Avoiding the trap of seeming superior, Christina carefully worded her response. “What you did, Twyla, didn’t make a very good case for your return. You showed disrespect for me, and that can never be erased.”
Visions of Rebecca Waters and her vengeful attitude kept Christina strong in her convictions.
She continued, even as her assistant’s posture crumbled.
“I’m sure you can understand why I think we should part ways, Twyla. You can have a fresh start in another department.”
“But Derek’s team is the prestigious one.”
So she’d been playing the flirting card to move up the corporate food chain, Christina thought. Tempting the men on the team with her smile and provocative comments. Flashing cleavage to Derek. Using gossip to oust the competition.
Christina stood from her chair, tacitly dismissing Twyla. “You’ll do solid work elsewhere in the company. I’ve no doubt about that. Good luck.”
Gripping the arms of her chair until her knuckles were white, Twyla didn’t move. She merely kept a bead on Christina.
“You’re not such hot stuff just because you got cozy with the boss,” she said. “Anyone can do that, you know.”
Even though Christina knew Derek hadn’t been sampling from the office, the words still tore at her.
Or was she wrong? Was Derek so good at keeping his affairs undercover that she just didn’t know about them?
“Twyla,” Christina opened her door, waiting for the girl to leave, “you might want to stop now, before you do even more damage to your career.”
“I’ve got Jack Fortune in my cheering section.” Twyla made herself at home, crossing her arms over her chest while leaning back into the cushions. “I’m not going anywhere.”
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