by M. S. Parker
“My turn.” He pressed his fingers against my clit, rubbing hard and fast.
“Fuck!” I swore as the friction sent pain and pleasure racing along my nerves. It was almost too rough, his touch bordering on too much. I arched up against his hand, unsure if I wanted more or less. Conflicting sensations warred within me, each one battling for dominance. As his other hand slid under my shirt to grasp my breast, I rode the line between what I wanted and what I feared.
“Come, love.” His teeth nipped at my earlobe. His voice took on that low tone that he used when he gave an order. An order I had to obey, wanted to obey. “Come. Now.”
His fingers pinched my nipple and the jolt that went through me pushed me over the edge. I came with a shudder and a shout. His arms held me as my orgasm washed over me, the embrace secure but not too tight.
Starting the new year with pleasure and safety seemed like a very good way to begin. Isolated as we were in the cabin, the snow outside still deep enough to ensure we wouldn't be disturbed. Not that it was likely, but after our surprise Christmas visitor, I was glad for the reassurance.
Our early morning activities had left both of us in need of showers, so when we met in the kitchen sometime later, we were both freshly scrubbed and hungry. Fortunately, a breakfast of fresh fruit was easy enough to fix.
“Do you and your family have any New Year's traditions?” I asked as I poured us both cups of coffee. I didn't drink it often, but I'd discovered that I liked this particular flavor.
He thought about my question for a moment, and then shook his head. “Since most of the time we were all off doing our own things on New Year's Eve, we usually spent the rest of the holiday recovering.” He gave me a grin, his hair falling across his forehead in that boyish way that made my heart flip.
“So...” I picked up a juicy looking strawberry and bit into it. “Does that mean we get to start our own traditions?” I winked at him.
His eyebrows went up. “Did you have something specific in mind?” His tone was casual, but there was undisguised desire in his eyes.
I slowly licked the strawberry juice from my lips, loving the way his gaze flicked down to my mouth. “I was thinking maybe we should start a tradition of decadence for the new year.”
Apparently, my word choice was cause for an extreme reaction because Rylan suddenly inhaled and then began coughing. His face turned red, his eyes tearing up as he caught his breath.
“Are you okay?” I couldn't stop myself from laughing. He nodded and held up a finger.
“Did you just say 'a tradition of decadence'?” His voice was choked.
I nodded as I stood up. I'd chosen my clothes carefully this morning with this in mind. I grabbed the zipper on my hoodie and pulled it down slowly, enjoying the way his eyes widened when he saw what I wore underneath.
I shrugged the hoodie off and made short work of my pants. Within just a few seconds, I was wearing only a pair of barely-there blue silk panties and bra – and the necklace he'd bought me for Christmas. I tucked my hair behind my ears, showing the matching earrings. I hadn't been sure if bringing something so expensive on a trip like this was smart, but the look on his face was worth it.
“Shit,” he breathed the word. The slice of apple in his hand dropped onto the counter. “Tradition of decadence it is.”
He took me up against the wall the first time, panties pulled aside, his pants around his knees. We moved next into the living room where he went down on me until I came so many times I had to beg him for a break. I took my turn then, teasing him with my mouth until he exploded across my tongue and I'd swallowed down every last drop. We recuperated while watching the parade – the satellite signal was great despite the weather – enjoying the floats and the bands.
“You know,” he said as he curled his naked body around mine. “When I'd pictured you wearing these.” His fingers brushed across an earring and then the necklace. “I'd been thinking along the lines of a complimentary gown as we went to some high society function.” He kissed that space below my ear that made me shiver. “But I like your way much better.”
I chuckled, snuggling back against him. “I got that impression.”
“So, we've started off the day with a bang...or two,” he continued. “Where do we go next?”
“Well,” I said. “I was thinking the hot tub might be nice.”
“I love the way you think.” He gently sucked on the side of my neck. He stopped suddenly and I turned my head to look up at him.
“Something wrong?” I asked.
He shook his head, a familiar expression on his face. He wanted to ask me something. I waited, knowing he'd speak when he was ready.
“There's something I want to do.” He ran his finger down the side of my neck.
“Okay.” I was starting to get the feeling that our hot tub encounter wasn't what he was talking about.
“I want to mark you.” His fingers ran down across my collarbone to my breast. “And not only on the inside of your thigh. I want your breasts, your throat.” He pressed his lips against my ear. “I want people to know you're mine.”
Growing up, my mother had always charged more for people who wanted to leave marks on me. Most people didn't bother, but there were always a couple men who liked to bite or leave hickeys. I supposed it had made them feel like a man. I'd hated seeing them, but they hadn't been any worse than the bruises, and they'd always faded. They'd never meant anything to me. These, however, would.
“I am yours,” I said. I reached up and ran my thumb along his bottom lip. “And you can do whatever you want.”
“It's not a trigger?” he asked, the question laced with concern.
I shook my head.
“Hmm.” His teeth scraped my earlobe. “I think I'm ready for the hot tub now.”
My stomach growled and he sighed.
“Food first?”
I nodded. “Lunch, then hot tub.”
After we ate, I removed the necklace and earrings – the last two things I was wearing – and headed for the room with the hot tub. Rylan had already turned it on, so we were only chilled for the few seconds it took to walk through the room and slide into the tub.
I sighed as the water caressed my skin. The sigh turned to a moan as Rylan's hand skimmed across my thigh.
“Come here.”
My stomach clenched at his Dom voice. Damn, I loved when he sounded like that. I slid closer. My pussy was throbbing, my nipples hard and aching. It didn't matter how many times we were together. I wanted him. I always wanted him.
This time, when he entered me, his mouth stayed at my neck, pulling and worrying at the skin until I knew he'd left a bruise on my pale skin. The water swirled around us, the liquid heat adding to our pleasure. The first time I came, Rylan held me to him, driving up into me until it was almost too much. Finally, he stilled, his cock hard inside me, muscles straining to maintain control.
I pressed my face against the crook of his neck, taking deep, shuddering breaths. He kept one hand at the small of my back while the other made soothing circles across my shoulder blades. When I finally stopped trembling, he spoke.
“I'm close.”
I nodded, unable to form any semblance of a coherent word.
“Mark me,” he said.
Damn.
He began to move, slowly at first, and I knew he was testing to make sure I was okay. It didn't matter if he was the Dominant in the relationship and I was the Sub. He always thought of me first. I sucked in a breath as the base of his cock rubbed against my overly sensitive clit. If he didn't come soon, it would start to hurt, and not in a good way.
“Mark me, love,” he said.
I turned my head, drawing his skin into my mouth. He groaned as I sucked on his neck, his hands flexing on my back. His pace increased, and I felt that pressure building inside me again. I wrapped my arms around his neck, opening my mouth to whimper as he began to pound into me. I felt him getting close and I squeezed my eyes close, focusing on him. The sme
ll of him. The sounds he made. The way his skin was sliding against mine, the way he filled me.
“Jenna!”
He called out my name as he buried himself inside me, his cock pulsing as he emptied into me. I ground down on him, following a few seconds later, his name on my lips.
“I love you,” he whispered as he held me. “My Jenna.”
I couldn't manage a response, but I knew I didn't need to. He knew I was his. No matter how much I'd tried not to fall hard and fast, it hadn't done any good. I was lost, and I knew it. Here, like this, it wasn't a problem. But, I knew we would have to eventually go back to the real world, and that was where things always got complicated. For today, however, I would enjoy what we had and not think about the rest of the year.
Chapter 18
The sun had been out all of New Year's Day, but it had taken until the next day for the snow to melt enough for us to leave the cabin. We probably could've stayed an extra day, just to be sure, but it was already Sunday and we knew we had to go to work on Monday. Aside from the fact that work had practically come to a halt after the incident with Christophe – though Rylan had been able to use the holidays as a good excuse to give everyone time off – if the two of us didn't show, rumors would be flying. We both agreed that it was still a good idea to keep things quiet at work. If people found out, I had no doubt most would agree with Suzette and Zeke that I'd slept my way into a job. While I didn't care that much, Rylan did and I didn't want anyone thinking he was that kind of man.
“Thank you,” I said as Rylan slowly drove us down the mountain.
“For what?” He risked a glance at me before turning his attention back to the road. Even with four-wheel drive, the conditions weren't the best.
“For giving me the best holidays I've ever had.” I reached over and squeezed his arm, not wanting to distract him, but needing to touch him all the same. “You don't realize how much things like that mean until you haven't had them.” I dropped my hands into my lap, looking at them as I continued, “I remember going to school as a kid and dreading Christmas break. Everyone would talk about the things they asked Santa for, and I'd smile and pretend to go along. Pretend like I wouldn't be spending most of my time off being raped by men dressed as Santa Claus or one of his elves. Being asked if I'd been naughty or nice...” My voice trailed off and I looked out the window. “Sometimes I wonder how no one saw it. It wasn't like I had friends or anything, but you would've thought that someone, at some point, would've noticed that something wasn't right.” I touched the scar on my arm.
“It always baffles me,” Rylan said. “How people can fail to see what's right in front of them.”
My mind immediately flashed to Zeke and the way he was with me. I was still holding out hope that Zeke would get used to me, that I was reading too much into his behavior. I didn't think so though. I was usually a pretty good judge of character. Even with Christophe, I might not have known the depths of his depravity, but I'd sensed that there was something wrong with him. I couldn't say anything to Rylan about Zeke though. Rylan was surprisingly trusting. Or, maybe, I thought, it was loyalty. And who was I to question that? I was a naturally untrusting person, always believing the worst. Even Rylan, who'd never given me any reason to doubt him, had been subjected to my doubts, though those were usually more focused on myself than any character issues on his part.
“Looks like the Vail snow plows have been busy,” Rylan said as he turned onto a nearly clear road. “I'd hoped things wouldn't be that bad all the way home.”
“As much as I like the snow, I'm not that fond of traveling in it,” I admitted. “And I'm not looking forward to learning to drive in it.”
“I like it for skiing and stuff like that,” he said. “But I can't say I'm too fond of the cold.”
“It's better than the heat,” I said absently. “Humid air, so thick it's hard to breathe.” I almost felt it closing in around me. My chest tightened and my fingers twisted together. I took slow breaths, willing myself not to have a panic attack as the memory of the heavy Florida air came forward, clear and sharp, as if I was still there, trying desperately to take in the oxygen my burning lungs needed...
Suddenly, my window came down a crack and a burst of cold air rushed in. Almost immediately, my muscles relaxed. The scent of pine and snow filled the car, both things I never associated with my childhood. They snapped me out of the past, bringing me back to the present and safety. As I breathed more easily, I rolled the window back up. I looked over at Rylan, but his eyes were on the road.
“Florida,” I said. “That's where I'm from.” I sighed as I looked out the window. “I thought Colorado would be far enough away, but lately I've been wondering.”
He reached over and took my hand. He didn't say a word, just wrapped his fingers tightly around mine. Neither of us spoke as we drove on, the only was sound the music playing in the background. Sometimes, people were quiet around me because they didn't know what to say and things got awkward. With Rylan, however, I knew that he was giving me the space I needed to process while his hand reminded me that I wasn't alone.
He didn't break the silence until we were close enough to see Fort Collins in the distance. “You don't have to go back to your apartment,” he said. “You can stay with me tonight.”
I was tempted, and not only because I wasn't looking forward to going back to a place that no longer felt safe. I knew Christophe was in jail and he'd been denied bail, but I could still feel him there, like he was haunting me. I could get through that though. I was used to that kind of thing. Being with Rylan was actually the only time I truly felt safe, but not in a damsel in distress kind of way. I didn't feel like I needed him to protect me. It was more like he was a shelter, a rock, something solid and reliable, someone I could lean on while I faced my demons.
No, I had to admit, the main reason I wanted to go home with Rylan was because I knew as soon as I stepped foot in my apartment, the vacation would be over. The bubble would burst and we'd be back in the real world. With everything that had happened over the past few weeks, my life seemed very surreal. Tomorrow, it would be back to work, where people didn't know about us, and where they'd find out one of their co-workers had done something awful. I'd avoided the news after what had happened with Christophe, but I wouldn’t be surprised if my name was already out there. If the media hadn't protected me as a child, they sure as hell wouldn't do it now that I was an adult.
“I think it'd be best if I went home,” I said. I gave Rylan a smile. “I doubt I'd get much sleep if I stayed with you.”
His expression was one of exaggerated shock. “What? Me? I have no idea what you're talking about.”
I laughed, some of my tension dissipating with the release.
“I can control myself, thank you very much.” The mock-offended tone made me want to laugh again.
“I believe you,” I said. “But I never said I could.” I winked at him and squeezed his hand. “I'm just thinking that there's going to be a lot going on tomorrow, what with trying to get caught up with everything that's been put off and everyone finding out about Christophe. I should probably get some sleep.”
He became serious. “You can take some time if you want. There's no reason you have to be there when all this is hitting the fan.”
“I do,” I said. The nerves in my stomach knotted at the thought of facing all those people, but I persisted. “Even if my name hasn't been released yet, someone's going to figure it out sooner or later.” My hand automatically went to my cheek where the cut was still healing. “Probably sooner when they see my face.”
“You don't need to put yourself through all that,” he said, concern in his voice. “I know how hard it was for you to tell me.”
“I'm not about to give all the gory details,” I said. “But I'm also not going to let him ruin my life.” I squeezed Rylan's hand. “That's what men like him want. Power. And if I run away or hide, I'm giving him that power.”
“All right.” Rylan nodded, bu
t his mouth was grim. “But if anyone gets out of line, I'm either kicking their ass or firing them. Maybe both.”
I smiled at that and raised our hands so I could kiss the back of his. When he pulled up in front of my apartment building, I was even more reluctant than before to let him go.
He turned towards me as I unbuckled my seatbelt. “I wanted to thank you, too.”
I gave him a puzzled look. “What for? I didn't do anything.”
He put his hand on my uninjured cheek. “Yes, love, you did. You changed everything.” He leaned forward, claiming my lips in a soft, sweet kiss that warmed me straight down to my toes.
I sighed as our mouths came apart. He rested his forehead against mine for a moment, then pulled back enough that we could see each other clearly.
“I told you about what happened between Lara and me,” he said. “But what I didn’t tell you was that after everything that happened with her, I swore off relationships. I promised myself that I wouldn't get involved with anyone unless I was sure she was worth the risk of getting my heart broken.” He brushed back my hair. “You're worth the risk.”
My heart did a funny little twist and flip. I wasn't worth any risk, but I loved him for thinking it. A flare of panic went through me. This was dangerous. I knew how hard and fast I'd fallen, that if – when – he left me, I'd be crushed, but I didn't want him to feel that way about me. It was too much and I didn't deserve it.
“Hey.” Rylan's voice drew me back. His expression was serious. “I'm not asking for anything more than you're ready to give.” His thumb brushed across my bottom lip. “I just want you to know how I feel.”
I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. He thought I was freaking out because he was getting too intense for me. I couldn't tell him that I didn't want him to know the depth of what I felt. He wouldn't understand. Hell, I barely understood it myself.
“I should go.” I caught a glimpse of hurt in his eyes, but I didn't stop. I needed to get inside before I did something stupid like confess everything, including how I hated being away from him and saying that I'd stay with him as long as he wanted me.