by Karen Duvall
“That bad, huh?” I asked.
“Let’s just say we don’t want to upset the neighbors.”
A middle-aged couple walked by and after one look at me, they shrank back, their faces leeched of color. The woman’s gaze locked on to me and she took a cautious step closer. “Honey, I’ve got some cream that will clear that right up.” She handed me a business card, snapping her hand away the second I touched it. “Give me a call.”
I looked at the card. Avon.
I touched my face, fingertips running over scales the size of pennies. I wanted to scream, but my voice was locked in my throat. I’d never come this close to changing before. Agitation chewed at my nerves and I knew that if I could relax, I’d be able to slow the transformation process.
I peered over at Aydin, who was gathering plastic shopping bags from the front seat. He and Gavin must have made a stop along the way, and I’d been so out of it I hadn’t even noticed. Aydin seemed so ordinary just now, a regular guy, handsome as hell, who did the same mundane things as every other human in this world. It was hard to believe he’d been a warrior more than nine centuries ago. And a coward. When he looked at me, he caught me staring and I quickly glanced away.
“I’ll take care of you,” Aydin said, making it sound like a promise. It made me wonder if he’d somehow sensed my thoughts.
He slid the dolly from the back of the SUV and tugged the crate toward him. Rocking it left to right, he pulled at the same time, inching it closer to the opened hatch. Shui wasn’t light and the wooden crate was sturdy as hell, in spite of the fist-size hole punched through the side. Dried blood rimmed the splintered opening. I imagined Amtrak guy was already home, nursing his wound along with a beer or two—imported, of course, now that he could afford the good stuff—to help ease the pain.
“Careful,” I told Aydin, my teeth chattering with chills from fever. I’d convulse soon, and I’d prefer doing it in private. “I guess we could pry off the side so that I can climb in with him.” The thought of how bad it smelled in there threatened my gag reflex, but I was desperate.
Gavin came running out of the motel lobby with the key. “Let’s get him on the dolly.”
The three of us—four counting Shui—hurried across the parking lot to our room, which thankfully was on the first level. I stumbled and Aydin lifted me in his arms, carrying me like a baby. How embarrassing. The muscles of his biceps were firm as tree limbs, and his strong hands felt warm against my arms and legs through my clothes. He held me close, my head tucked beneath his chin, and I could only imagine his repugnance at touching the creature I was becoming. My back felt wet with blood from my split skin, my budding wings straining against the fabric of my jacket.
Gavin flung open the door and Aydin dropped me on the bed. Anyone watching would have thought us in the throws of passion, our desire for each other making our bodies sweat and our breath come hard and fast.
That wasn’t far from the truth.
Passion. Lust. A carnal hunger so intense it threatened to wipe every coherent thought from my mind. Aydin froze where he lay against me, his muscles tense, and I knew we shared the same feelings. “I want…” I whispered, my voice hoarse with need as I grabbed the waistband of his jeans and yanked him closer. The pain of longing forced my senses over the top.
He moaned. “I know, and I want you, too. Resist, Chalice. It’s the curse taking you over. Fight it.”
“I don’t want to fight. I want to submit.”
He hesitated before pushing himself up and off the bed.
My head throbbed so hard with the pressure of impending change I thought it might explode.
Gavin drew a knife from the inside of his jacket and watched Aydin pry the crate’s boards loose with a crowbar he’d brought from the SUV. I saw that Gavin’s blade wasn’t made of steel. It looked more like cut stone, the edges sharp but rough. The blade appeared striated with uneven bands of purple and red, veins of black running through it from tip to pommel. The way he held it was odder still. He wielded it like a weapon, like he intended to use it against Shui. Maybe my fevered brain couldn’t register what my eyes saw, but that knife… It was fabulous. I had to have it.
Two boards came free, and before Gavin could yank them completely off the crate, Shui burst out in a flurry of wings, claws and teeth. And he went straight for Aydin.
nine
AYDIN VANISHED. THERE WAS A MUFFLED PLOP as the clothes he’d been wearing dropped in a heap to the floor.
Shui spun one way, then the other, claws raking the air where Aydin had stood. Gavin grabbed him around the neck and when he shoved that odd but beautiful knife against Shui’s throat, the gargoyle froze.
“Don’t make me use it.” Gavin slid the knife gently over the gray, scaly skin, but didn’t cut him. From the panicked look on Shui’s face, I could tell this knife was special.
Fascinating. The knife held some kind of power over the gargoyle. Was it enchanted? Coated in poison strong enough to kill an immortal?
Shui’s eyes closed, an expression of calm replacing his alarm. In that instant he appeared almost human. As if resigned to follow his master’s command, he remained still, chest heaving, his leathery wings folded and tucked close to his sides.
Gavin shoved him at me. I stiffened when Shui clutched both my shoulders to flip me onto my stomach on the bed.
“Careful,” Gavin said.
His claws sliced through my jacket, his hot breath bathing my neck as the room’s cool air chilled my bloody back. Shui hovered close, inhaling my scent, one claw tracing an immature wing that struggled to break free. He’d rip the wing off if he could, and use it like a toothpick after dining on what was left of my human body.
But he didn’t. He leaned down and ran his slimy tongue over my tattoo, letting it linger there. I didn’t protest. The fever stopped almost immediately, and I felt my baby wings shrink, drawing themselves back inside my body. It hurt, but I didn’t mind. I just wanted them gone.
Shui retreated and hobbled back to Gavin.
I lay on the hard, lumpy bed, silent and exhausted, and thoroughly relieved. I wondered if Aydin was still in the room somewhere. Had he witnessed what had happened, what I’d let Shui do? That was my last thought before I passed out.
I opened my eyes in the dark. An explosive memory threatened to engulf me in agony. I remembered the fear, the fever, the sense of loss when I had almost changed into—
I shot to my feet, grabbing my head with one hand while my other reached out for balance.
“Easy,” said a man’s voice from behind me.
“Don’t touch me, Aydin.” To say my nerves were on edge was an understatement. I wanted to hit something and he would make an easy target. I lowered myself back to the bed instead. “I’ll be okay. Just a head rush.”
“Not surprising after coming within a gnat’s fart of turning all leathery and scaly.” His voice sounded matter-of-fact, not teasing. I shuddered at how right he was.
I rubbed my bare arms, then hugged my chest, covering my naked breasts with my hands. Aydin had seen me half naked! “Where’s my shirt?”
“Ruined.” I heard the crinkly sound of a plastic bag. “I took the liberty—”
“I think you took too many liberties.”
“—of picking out a new T-shirt for you. I hope you like pink.”
I hated pink. I yanked the shirt from his hands and pulled it over my head. “Thanks.”
He hesitated before saying, “I didn’t see… You know.”
He sat in the chair beside the little round table by the window. Not believing a word, I squinted at him in the dark.
He cleared his throat. “Okay, so I didn’t see much. Kept my eyes closed this whole time. Promise.”
“I bet you did.” He was such a liar. A con man. A demon dealer. I wanted to trust him, but I wasn’t sure I could.
“I would have seen lots more if I’d done what you asked.”
Oh, my God. I suddenly remembered every detail. I had as
ked him to do me. I’d wanted to have sex and the jolt of sensation between my legs now meant I still did. “About that…”
He chuckled. “No worries. I won’t hold it against you, not unless you want me to.”
Every pore in my body flushed with heat. Would I ever live this down? I coughed lightly and asked, “Where’s Gavin?”
“He left with Shui as soon as it got dark. Threw a blanket over him and walked him out to the Hummer. They’re probably back at the Fatherhouse by now.”
I rubbed my arms again and he tossed a blanket over my shoulders, careful not to lay a hand on me. Smart man. I reached back to touch the sheath between my shoulders and found it gone. I wasn’t surprised. He probably thought I’d use my knife on him if given the chance, and despite being immortal, I didn’t think he was impervious to pain.
Without a word, he handed me my blade still in its sheath, but I didn’t strap it on. I could wait. Just holding it sent a wave of calm through me. But I’d need to replace the leather strap I used to hold it in place on my back. My body had apparently distorted enough while shifting form that it broke.
Still focused on my knife, I asked, “So where were you until they left?”
“Outside.”
“Naked?”
“Yup.”
“Weren’t you freezing out there?”
“Nope. As long as I stay a ghost, I can’t feel anything.”
He hadn’t materialized inside the room because Shui would have torn him a new one, literally, while tearing out his throat at the same time. Did that make Aydin a coward? Or did it make him smart? It was something to think about.
“So now what?” I asked.
“I rented a car to drive us back to Denver.”
“Then why are we waiting?” I asked out of curiosity rather than urgency. I didn’t care if we never went back. Not that I had a choice.
His silhouette leaned forward and light cast from the motel’s neon sign outside illuminated his face. His features were tight with concern. “Are you ready for the drive?” he asked, eyebrows lifted.
I shrugged, feeling in no hurry to return to the Fatherhouse. The magic there was uncomfortably strong and it made my head hurt. Plus, now that I knew the house was alive and had an appetite for fear, I wasn’t especially keen on feeding it. I had lots to be scared of. And even if I pretended not to be afraid, I had a feeling the house would know the difference.
“I’ll have no place to stay when we get back.”
He gave me a dubious look. “I thought you had a room in the house.”
“I won’t sleep there. It’s rigged for the other Fatherhouses to spy on me.” I watched his face to see if this surprised him. It didn’t. Maybe he was used to being spied on. Hell, he was a spy. “How can you live in that place?”
“I don’t. I live in the guest house behind it. There’s plenty of room if you’d like to share it with me.” His smile looked a little too sly. “It’s very safe. Really.”
“I’ll think about it.” As the old saying went, “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” Staying with Aydin might not be such a bad idea. I was pragmatic enough to know Gavin wouldn’t let me get too far out of his sight.
I was sticky with dried sweat and blood. “I need a shower.” I headed for the bathroom, dragging the blanket like a cloak behind me.
The second the door snicked shut, I heard the television flick on.
Rather than switch on the light and fry my retinas, I removed my contact lenses and bathed my eyes in darkness. I wanted to see how badly my body had been ravaged by my too-close-for-comfort transformation. Letting the blanket drop from my shoulders, I peeled off the ugly pink shirt and pivoted in front of the mirror above the sink, craning my neck to check out my back. The skin was mottled with puffy red lines surrounding two puckered scars where wings had poked out from beneath my shoulder blades. I healed fast. Always had.
My face, on the other hand, had never looked so horrid. I pressed close to the mirror, staring hard at the rashy skin on my cheeks and forehead. It would be completely healed by morning, but at the moment I looked like an adolescent in serious need of extra-strength pimple cream. I scratched at a pink scab on my temple and dry flakes of skin fell into the sink. Gross.
I twisted the spigots in the outdated shower and stood beneath the spray as hot as I could stand. I gazed down at my feet to watch swirls of bloody water circle the drain.
After drying myself off, I stuck my head out the bathroom door. “You wouldn’t happen to have a clean pair of jeans and underwear in one of those bags, would you?”
He snatched a shopping bag from the floor and tossed it to me. When I reached out to grab it, I opened the door too far and flashed him. I flung the bag inside and slammed the door shut. Reopening it a crack, I said, “You didn’t see that.”
He smirked, revealing a dimple at the corner of his mouth. But he politely kept his stare on the TV and not on me.
The jeans were a size too big. No surprise there. The pink shirt looked silly enough, but the idiotic saying branded across the front made it worse: Talk Nerdy to Me.
I emerged from the steamy bathroom and looked at the white T-shirt Aydin was wearing. He must have bought it at the same time he’d decided Pepto-Bismol was my color. The front of his said Where There’s a Will…I Want to Be in It.
But I couldn’t smile. In fact, I was having a hard time feeling anything. I wanted to go to Elmo’s and hear the fey laugh, and listen in on conversations between people having fun, even if those people were from beyond the green veil. I wanted to play with Ling Ling and watch her change from a monkey to a cat to a ferret. I’d welcome a bit of magic just to have a little joy.
Aydin’s hand disappeared inside a bag of chips cradled in his lap. He stopped chewing midcrunch to stare at me. “What’s wrong?”
I was horrified to feel a tear slide down my cheek. I flicked it away. “Not a thing. Why?”
He resumed chewing and shoved another chip in his mouth. “Oh, I don’t know. From the look on your face, you seem ready to bite my head off. Here.” He offered me the bag of chips. “Bite one of these instead.”
I grabbed the bag and dug my hand in for a fistful, then sat on the bed to eat them. Potato chips had never tasted so good.
He reached for the bag and I yanked it away. “Mine.”
He shrugged and ripped open a bag of pretzels. “You’re craving the salt, you know.”
I licked my fingers. “No, I’m craving food. I’m starving.”
“Yeah, but your body also needs salt. The salt counteracts the curse working through you and it helps get your body back to normal.”
How about that. I learned something new every day in my crazy world of curses and flying monkeys. “You know this from experience?”
“Yup.” He snapped the end off a pretzel. “I don’t remember the exact date, but it was right after the Vyantara first got their hooks into me. I was recruited about a hundred years after my…” He waved a hand in front of his body. “This.”
Meaning a hundred years after he was cursed by a demon. “So what happened that overstretched the bond with your gargoyle…what’s his name?”
“Shojin.” He absently rubbed the back of his neck where his tat was. “I didn’t believe what the shaman had told me. I thought I could beat the curse by running away.”
“How far did you get?”
He leaned back to study me. “In distance? Or in shifting.”
“Both.”
“About fifty miles and a full set of claws, front and back.” He wiggled his fingers, which looked perfectly fine now. Better than fine. They were long and thick, and really strong. I knew that from when he’d carried me inside the room.
I heaved a breath, imagining how hard it must have been for him, especially in the twelfth century. There were no hotel rooms or showers or fresh changes of clothes. And no fast modes of transportation. Which begged the question, “If you were fifty miles from your gargoyle, then how…?”
“Shojin stalked me from the moment I escaped.”
“He hunted you?”
“Not exactly. Chalice, not all gargoyles are like Shui. Shojin is different.”
I choked on a chip.
“You have to meet him.”
He had to be kidding. “Excuse me? I have my own vile, bloodthirsty monster, thank you very much. I think I’ll pass on meeting yours.”
Considering where we were and where we needed to go, I decided I was rested enough for the long drive back to Denver. Peering out at the night sky through an undraped window, I said, “I’m ready to go back now.”
“Not just yet.”
I looked at him and scowled. “Why not?”
He pulled an envelope from his inside jacket pocket. “I need to show you something first.” Handing it over, he added, “I’ve been saving it for you.”
I accepted the envelope with caution, unsure what to expect. Saving it for me? Since when, yesterday? We’d known each other less than forty-eight hours. I lifted the flap, which was unsealed, and peered inside before pulling out the photo that lay within. The picture was laminated, and a good thing, too, because half of it had burned away. The charred edges glistened beneath the clear plastic. I blinked and looked at it more closely. “How did you get this picture of me?”
“It’s not you.” He hesitated. “It’s your mother.”
My legs turning to rubber, I sat on the bed and clasped the photograph to my chest. I tried to ignore my thudding heart and lifted the picture to gaze into turquoise eyes flecked with gold. My eyes; the eyes I’d inherited from my mother.
“Where did you get this?” I asked, the words fading in the air between us. He cocked his head as if he hadn’t heard, so I repeated the question.
“I found it in the fireplace at Gavin’s home in Chicago.” He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, then locked his knees as if forcing himself to stay still.
“I don’t understand. When were you at Gavin’s?”
“About twenty-five years ago.”
Close to the time I was born. Even back then he’d known he would meet me someday. I couldn’t decide if this was good or bad, but he had a connection to my mother. “You knew her?”