by Julia Karr
Ginnie never told me anything like that—friends disappearing. I was sure Gran knew more stories about my father and Ginnie that I’d never heard. I stopped myself from telling her about the book and my father being alive. I needed to look at Dee’s baby book more closely first and make sure this was real. No sense in getting Gran’s hopes up if all of this was the result of some medically caused hallucination.
“There’s something else, Gran. Your name was on that same piece of paper, along with a note about my FeLS contract.”
“Ah yes, Ginnie bought it out, dear, and sent it to me for safekeeping. She was worried that Ed might get his hands on it. He has quotas to make, and I’m not sure she trusted that he would leave you alone if he was short Chosens.”
“Or if he was mad at her,” I muttered.
Gran gave me a puzzled look. “What do you mean?”
“Last summer, Ed told Dee that he was going to move us to the tier-five flats on the west side of Cementville. She was so excited. We all were. Then one night Ginnie came home with bruises all over her arms. Next day, Ed told Dee that because of her mother we’d be staying right where we belonged, in low-tier mods. She was crushed.”
Gran scowled. “There’s something seriously wrong with that man. Who would do such a thing? And to his own daughter. I hope he doesn’t come around here wanting to see her. Although, he very well might. He’s got his rights.” Her scowl turned to a frown.
My stomach knotted. “What if he wanted Dee as a Cinderella girl?”
“Ginnie made sure that if anything happened to her, your grandfather and I would become your legal guardians. He can’t touch Dee.” She gave my arm a squeeze. “No sense in borrowing tomorrow’s troubles, dear. Let’s focus on getting this house in order.” She bent down and took a few knickknacks out of the box I’d been unpacking. “Put these over there.”
I arranged things under Gran’s direction and the knot in my stomach loosened a bit. I didn’t trust Ed, but with Gran and Pops as Dee’s legal guardians, he wouldn’t be able to take her away. At least not without a fight.
But still, I was 99 percent sure that it had been Ed at the hospital. Which made me think he knew what had happened to Ginnie before it hit the news. I wondered if I would ever know what really happened to her. Anger surged through me. I wanted whoever killed her caught.
Gran’s PAV beeped. “Oh, that’s Harriet. I’d better make sure she’s all right. She’s not been well since they took Johnny away. You tell your sister it’s time for you both to get ready for bed.”
Lying on my new bed, an inflato-mat Gran had borrowed from Harriet, I stared out the window. Dee was across the room, asleep on Pops’s old army cot. The rhythm of her breathing was occasionally interrupted by a catch—she’d been crying herself to sleep every night, still. The only crying I’d done was after the B.O.S.S. agents left. Since then, I’d willed every tear to stay inside me. Dee needed me to be strong. And so I was.
Squeezed between the buildings across the way, the night sky provided a backdrop for a pale quarter moon. I wondered if somewhere in Chicago my father, Alan Oberon, was looking at that same moon.
All these years he’d been alive, but he’d never tried to see me or contact me. How could he do that? Even harder to comprehend was the reality that Ginnie had known the truth, but let me believe a lie. She always said that he had been her one true love. I couldn’t imagine he didn’t still love her, too. Was it because of me that he wasn’t there? Did he not want me? I had so many questions and no answers.
I knew I had to find him and give him that book. Not for him, not for me, but for Ginnie.
I tossed from one side to the other, willing sleep to come. Just as I’d dozed off, Dee’s PAV beeped. I jumped out of bed and grabbed her receiver before she woke up.
“Hello?” I whispered.
A click and then silence.
Ed.
XI
Next morning I got up at the same time as Gran. She was in the middle of the kitchen, surrounded by moving boxes, her back to me.
I’d made up my mind to tell her what I knew. But she looked so frail and vulnerable, my knees trembled and my heart began fluttering. Before I could give in to my doubts, I blurted out, “Ginnie told me my father is still alive.”
“Really?” She picked a coffee cup out of the box nearest her, unwrapped it, and rinsed it off in the sink. She usually made her own coffee in an ancient electric pot, but that morning she used the cook center. “I wonder why she would say a thing like that?”
Hardly the reaction I’d expected after telling her that her only son, my father, was alive—instead of being dead for nearly sixteen years.
“I believed her. She was dying. Why would she lie to me?”
Gran filled up her cup and pushed a button on the chiller. White liquid swirled under the surface of the coffee.
“She said that he was alive and probably right here in Chicago.” I looked hopefully at Gran. Maybe she knew already. Maybe she’d been keeping this same secret. But why?
“Nina, dear.” She took a sip of her coffee. “He drowned on the way home from the hospital the night you were born. A transport forced him off the bridge by Wacker and Michigan. His body was never found.”
The same story I’d heard a thousand times. No variation, no change. Except Ginnie had said different.
Gran continued: “She was most certainly under the influence of that Infinity contraption. I don’t know much about it, and still can’t believe they used it on anyone besides a top-tier. Even then”—she looked off in the distance, her brow furrowed—“it’s rarely used. Just in extreme cases where there are permissions to be given or a will to be authenticated or something. Unless they were waiting for some low-tier to come in practically dead so they could run an experiment.” She took another sip of coffee, making a face like it tasted bad.
“Gran. She said he was alive.”
“Nina, they were so very much in love. Sometimes, when people are dying, they seem to see their loved ones who have gone before them. I’m sure she believed what she was saying was true. He probably seemed alive to her at the moment.”
“Eh?” Pops queried from the doorway, where he had hobbled on his crutch. “Who believed what? Who’s alive? Besides me.”
“Nothing, old man.” Gran scowled at the empty space that should have been his prosthesis. “How many times do I have to tell you to put your leg on before you get up? Your thumping around on that crutch is bound to make us popular with the new neighbors downstairs.” Even as she complained, she was unpacking another cup.
“Ginnie said that my father’s still alive.” I ignored Gran’s disapproving glance. I didn’t believe her explanations—and I needed someone to validate me. I only hoped Pops was stronger than he appeared. Ginnie’d had a good reason for keeping my father’s life a secret. And I was determined to discover what that reason was.
Gran harrumphed and went back to unpacking the box of dishes.
“Alan alive? Wouldn’t surprise me one little bit, Little Bit.” Pops chuckled to himself. He took a sip of the coffee Gran handed him and attempted to pat her on the fanny with his crutch as she walked by. Except he lost his balance and nearly fell over. I suppressed a snort.
She turned back around and Pops, smiling innocently, held his cup in the air. “Best java in the world.”
“It’s cook center coffee, not mine,” she retorted, but a smile danced at the corners of her mouth. Then she frowned. “Now, don’t you be telling Nina that Alan’s still alive.” Her voice thinned. “You know as well as I do that he’s gone.”
Pops sat his cup and himself down. “I know what they told us, Edith. And I also know that he had everything to live for—Nina, for example.” He patted my hand. “And I know that he could swim.” Pops’s tone became strident. “I don’t believe anything the government says. It’s all lies.” His eyes flashed. “Just look at me.” He slapped his stump for emphasis. “They took care of me good, just like they promised, didn
’t they?”
“The ravings of an old lunatic.” Gran ran her hand across her forehead. “They should’ve replaced your brain while they were at it.” She started rummaging through the boxes. “Since the cook center’s not set up for food yet, I’ll make us a real breakfast.”
“Flapjacks? Syrup and butter on top?” Pops sounded like a little kid asking for cake.
“Coming up.” She dug around for the ingredients, stacking them on the counter one by one. “I’ve got everything except baking powder. Here, dear.” She handed me her card. “Run to the store and get a box. Make it quick, I can’t start until get you back.”
I grabbed my sweater from the hook by the door and ran out. The elport took forever, but soon I was on the ground floor. I rushed out of the lobby into the crisp fall morning.
I hurried the two blocks to the nearest Foodland. At the closest self-service kiosk I tapped in baking powder. I slid Gran’s card through the scanner, and a second later, the register dinged. I removed the box from the delivery chute, not bothering to bag it. The kiosk voice said, “Please confirm receipt of all your items. Remove your card, and thank you for shopping at Foodland.”
“You, too.” I was glad the store was empty, so no one heard me conversing with robo machines. I was almost to the “out” door when I noticed Sal coming through the “in” door.
“Nina,” he called out. “Wait up.”
I hadn’t seen him since the day at the zoo ... the day Ginnie’d been killed. It was hard to believe that was only five days ago. It felt like forever. He’d called, but I’d ignored his calls. I didn’t want to talk to him then, either, but still I stopped. Sometimes I was too nice for my own good.
“I tried calling.” He rounded the counter. “Mike told me about your mother.”
“He did?” I made a mental note to yell at Mike the next time I saw him.
“Yeah, I was checking to make sure I had your number right and he told me about the, uh ...”
“Murder?” I glared at him. “You can say it. It’s what happened. Somebody murdered my mother, okay?”
He was studying my face, trying to size up my emotional state, I supposed. “I’m really sorry. I know how hard it is.”
“You don’t know anything about me.” I didn’t want sympathy from him, and I didn’t want him prying into my life. “I’m in a hurry, okay?” I started out the door, but he reached for my arm.
“What?” I yelled, jerking away from him. The lone store attendant peered through the side of her therma-glass cubicle. I gave her a halfhearted wave. Last thing I wanted was for her to call the cops. She frowned before going back to her AV game.
“What do you want?” I hissed.
“To get to know you a little better. Okay?”
“I’ve gotta run. Gran’s waiting.”
“Can we talk later?”
“Fine, whatever.” No way would I answer that call.
XII
I’d finally gotten all Gran’s recipe chips loaded into the cook center and was busy cleaning the containers and filling them with ingredients.
Ginnie hadn’t been great in the kitchen. Lots of times she brought food home from the cafeteria where she worked. I’d have given anything to be eating some of that institutional garbage right then, to be laughing with her at the counter.
Ginnie’d never told me the real reason she quit her tier-five job in Chicago to take that tier-two in Cementville. She said it was to be closer to Ed, but I’d always thought there had to be another reason. I guess I’ll never know the answer.
It had been so hard moving from our nice apartment in the Wrightwood Arms to that horrid modular. Living next door to Sandy was the only thing that wasn’t awful about Cementville. I’d learned to deal with cheap clothes and school lunches and snubs from higher-tiers. Ginnie’d managed to find the credits to get me into art classes, thankfully. I don’t know what I would have done without those. Usually only tier-fives or higher took art, so they could get a Creatives’ designation. Ginnie wanted me to have that opportunity, too. But when the kids in the class found out my mom was a tier-two cashier, most of them quit talking to me. I didn’t let it get to me too much—when we were tier-five, I never talked to tier-twos. Besides, I get so caught up in my drawings that I’d have probably ignored Van Stacy if he’d walked in the room.
Even thinking about that move made me feel angry, and then guilty ... how could I be angry at Ginnie now? Then Dee came in and hung over the back of a chair, her toes skimming the floor. “You think Maddie and Justin still go to Dickens?”
“Sure. I bet most of your friends will be at your old school. We’ve only been gone four years.” I hoped I was right. She needed something to make her feel better. She needed friends.
“Neens ... I miss Mom.” She sobbed quietly next to me.
I scooped her up, knocking over the container of flour with my elbow, hugging her as tight as I could, holding back my own tears. Even though she was eleven, she felt so small, so vulnerable. Eventually, she stopped crying.
“I’m sorry.” She sniffed and swallowed hard “You miss her, too, don’t you?”
“Yes, I do.”
“What did they do with her body? Is it out in space with all the burial pods?” She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and looked at me expectantly.
I didn’t know what had happened—“We’ll dispose of the body in the usual manner ...”—I had to say something comforting. “Yes, it is. They sent her body out that very morning. She’s up among the stars now.”
“Gran says she’s in heaven.” Dee looked at me. “You don’t believe in heaven, do you?”
“If Gran says so, then it has to be true, Deeds. Gran does not lie.” Not like me.
Religion was one thing I’d never really thought much about. We’d studied the Religion Wars of the past and I’d decided then that it was not for me. It helped that Ginnie’d felt the same way. Religion seemed to me like one group of people telling another group that their color of red was the best. And that everyone had to believe that, or else.
The End-of-Wars treaty required that churches not attempt to impose their beliefs on anyone. The Governing Council had taken that a step further and made it illegal to preach religious beliefs in any form of Media. They claimed such preaching could be used to sow discontent and incite rioting. After everything I’d read about the Religion Wars, it was easy to understand how people would accept the GC’s edict.
Without Media support and broadcasts of religious programming, most churches ended up closing. Gran and Pops occasionally went to one of the only ones left in Chicago. Gran told me once that they could close all the churches in the universe, but they couldn’t close a body’s heart to God. I hadn’t done a lot of thinking about God in my life, either.
Dee startled me back from my thoughts. “I’m glad Mom’s in the stars,” she said. “Gran says we’ll all be together in heaven someday.”
“Then I’m sure we will.” No sooner were the words out of my mouth than my longing for Ginnie ripped through me like a blade. She wouldn’t be there when I earned my Creatives. It wouldn’t be her hand holding mine when the needle pierced the XVI into my wrist. We’d never again snuggle together on the couch, after Dee was asleep, watching old movies, munching popcorn and sipping Sparkles. She’d never make it all better when I couldn’t figure out how to.
And now that I needed answers about my father, the book, and just how I was supposed to deal with turning sixteen ... I could feel the tears welling up. I had to focus on something else. My eyes lit on the flour I’d spilled everywhere. “Look at this mess! Will you help me clean it up?”
“Sure.” Dee pulled the vac hose from the wall and swept up what had landed on the floor. “Think Gran will let us make lunch?”
“You go ask. I’ll finish up.”
“Oh, Neens,” Dee called out from the hallway. “My dad called me this morning. Just to make sure I was okay.”
My knees buckled and I had to grab the counte
rtop to keep from falling. I knew he’d call again. He was, after all, Dee’s father. Ginnie’s words rang in my ears: Don’t let Ed near Dee. I’d promised. The comfort I’d felt at Gran’s telling me about her and Pops’s legal guardianship of me and Dee vanished. I didn’t trust Ed. Not one tiny bit.
Over lunch, I questioned Dee about the call. “So, Deeds, what did Ed say?” I tried to appear nonchalant, but nearly choked on a spoonful of soup while waiting for her answer.
“Ed?” Gran exchanged a look with Pops, then turned her attention to Dee. “When did you talk to Ed?”
“What’s the big deal? He called this morning to ask if I was all right.” Dee took a bite of her sandwich.
“And?” Trying to get information out of her if she wasn’t in a talkative mood could be tougher than avoiding verts downtown.
“I said I was fine.” She continued munching.
“Did he say anything else?”
“Nuh-uh, just that he was sorry he hadn’t called before but he was gone somewhere on business.”
I didn’t believe that for a minute. He’d been at the hospital that night. He probably knew more than anyone else about what had happened.
“Pops?” Dee said. “We’re going to Grant Park for the Ethno-festival like last year, aren’t we?”
“Yes indeedy, Deedles.” Pops grinned. “Remember last year when those clowns tried to get me on that trapeze?” He feigned falling backward, flailing his arms about. Dee giggled and they put their heads together, planning what they wanted to see at this year’s festival.
While it felt good to see Dee smiling, my suspicions about Ed were growing stronger. Since Ginnie set up the custody, she shouldn’t have had to warn me against him. But she did. She didn’t think that Dee was safe. I had to keep my guard up. No way was Ed going to take Dee away from me.
Dee, Pops, and Gran headed out to the festival, but I’d decided ahead of time to stay home, supposedly to get my room together, but really I needed time to search the baby book in private. It was the first time I’d been completely alone since Ginnie’s death. Knowing Ed had called Dee, I felt even more of an urgency to find my father and get in contact with him. Surely he would help me keep her safe. Even if Dee wasn’t his daughter, she was my sister and Ginnie’s daughter. That had to count for something.