by Julia Karr
“You okay?” Wei asked.
I shrugged.
“You want me to talk to Sal?”
“No. He probably—”
“Something you’d like to share with the class, ladies?” Mr. Haldewick’s pointer was aimed right at us. “Anything of importance?”
“No, sir,” I said.
That pretty much wrapped up my morning—nothing of any importance.
At lunch, Mike, Derek, and I snagged a window booth at Mickey’s. I couldn’t stop staring outside.
“What’s going on?” Derek asked.
“Yeah,” Mike said. “You’re not yourself, Neenie Beans. Gran and Pops okay?”
“They’re fine.” I rarely kept secrets from these guys, but I couldn’t talk to them about Sal. I didn’t buy all the Media hype about girls, but the things we learned in Health and Soch about guys seemed pretty accurate. Mainly the part that they didn’t like to listen to girls’ drama. And I was feeling pretty dramatic about Sal. Instead, I elaborated on the other thing that was bothering me.
“It’s about Dee. We ran into Ed.” I proceeded to fill them in about seeing Ed the day before, and all the rest of it. “Wei’s dad thought the same thing as you, Der ... about him wanting a Cinderella girl.”
“That won’t happen while we’re around.” Derek puffed out his chest.
I thought back to elementary school and how Derek had always been there for me. I knew he would do anything to help.
“Neens, you should have told us all of this before.” Mike looked a little hurt. “I thought we were your best friends.”
“You are. I’m sorry—I just, well, since Ginnie died and we moved here ... Things have changed.”
“Since you met Sal, you mean,” Derek said. “It’s pretty obvious something’s going on between you two.”
I was almost surprised that there wasn’t a bit of jealousy in his voice. He was smitten with Wei. That, at least, was good.
“Nothing is obvious,” I said. “He’s not interested in me.”
“Really?” Mike said. “That’s not how it’s been looking.”
Mickey’s buzzer, indicating that the school’s bell had rung, saved me from any more discussion. We were swept out the door along with everyone else, the flow of bodies surging back to Daley. Once inside, I caught a glimpse of Sal.
He didn’t see me. I watched him walk down the hall while other students jostled me from side to side. I’m not exactly sure how I got to my next class, Language & Lit, but I did. I scrolled my test page up and down, up and down. The questions didn’t make sense. I couldn’t focus on anything, other than how miserable I felt. I turned in the quiz without having answered one question.
Miss Gray asked me to wait afterward. “Are you all right today, Nina?”
“Yeah.” As much as I liked her, I wasn’t about to unload my problems on a teacher. Sal or otherwise.
“You’re Alan Oberon’s daughter, aren’t you?”
I nodded. Since we’d moved back to Chicago, it seemed as if everyone knew who my parents were.
She took a pad of passes from her desk drawer, filled one out, and handed it to me. Then she took out her PAV and beamed something to mine. “That’s my PAV number. If you ever need anything, let me know.”
“Thanks.” I took the pass and headed out the door. Around the corner, I spied Sal with some girl I’d never seen before. You couldn’t have squeezed a sigh between them.
She was dressed a lot like Sandy, typical sex-teen, showing plenty of skin, except she didn’t look cheap. Her clothes weren’t Sale—they were definitely top tier, ultrachic. Her chest was pressed up against Sal, her arm wrapped around his neck. I couldn’t tell if she was nibbling on his ear or whispering something. Her free hand was busy stuffing something into his shirt pocket.
He noticed me first and halfheartedly (or so it seemed to me) shook free. She inclined her head slightly, taking in my Megaworld jeans and T-shirt. Since the floor wasn’t going to open up and swallow me, I fled into the nearest girls’ bathroom, straight into one of the stalls. Sitting on the john, I pulled my feet up and hugged my knees. I squeezed my eyes shut so I didn’t have to look at my last year’s discount jeans or my value tennies. What a fool I’d been to think that Sal would want to be with me when there was someone like that girl around. She had the right clothes, the right look, and the right sex-teen attitude. I’d even been idiot enough to tell him I was afraid of having a boyfriend. It didn’t matter if I believed XVI Ways propaganda or not. I wasn’t going to have a boyfriend if I persisted in being anti-sex-teen. But I told myself, I didn’t want a boyfriend, I wanted Sal. Even if he was only interested in my father. But I wasn’t going to get him. Not now. Not ever.
I spent the next period in the bathroom, breathing in the smell of disinfectant and urine and feeling like it was all that I deserved.
XXIII
After my pathetic bathroom stay, I managed to sneak around Hal, the robotic hall monitor, and get into my next class. The teacher didn’t notice the time difference on the pass—but Hal would’ve. After school I made sure Sal was nowhere in sight before I went outside to join Wei, Derek, and Mike.
“They know about Ed,” I told Wei.
“So, we’re all in this together.” She smiled at the guys.
“Yep.” Derek literally beamed at her.
A sigh of despair escaped me. I didn’t want Derek, but I wouldn’t mind being Wei for a while. I bet nothing even close to the hurt and humiliation I’d just endured would ever happen to her. I couldn’t picture Wei running away from anyone or anything, let alone cowering in a restroom.
Turning my focus to the job of keeping Dee safe, I stuffed my Sal feelings deep inside, alongside the Ginnie tears that I refused to cry. Keeping all those emotions inside wasn’t easy, and the more I tamped them down, the harder it got.
We picked up Dee outside Dickens, and she, Wei, and I split off from the guys.
“You’re sure you don’t want us to come with you right now?” Mike rubbed his stomach. “It’s growling.”
“Come on.” Derek grabbed his arm. “They said they had ‘girl’ stuff to talk about. “We’ll see you later.” They took off in the direction of the Alley.
“Get me a piece of chocolate cake,” Mike hollered over his shoulder. “Don’t forget the sprinkles!”
At Rosie’s, we chose a table near the back of the room and placed our order. When the waitress left, I turned to my sister. “Deeds, we’ve gotta tell you something.”
“You’re not gonna talk to me about boys, are you? I know all about them from my friends.”
I remembered my fifth-grade conversations about boys. How dumb had we been? “No, Dee. It’s not about that at all. It’s about that day I yelled across the street at you ... I saw Ed.”
“My dad? He didn’t tell me he was coming to see me.” No one could’ve missed the excitement and longing in her voice. She wanted a father as much as I did. So much that she’d even settle for a low-life bag of space trash like Ed.
“I think he wants to take you back to live with him.”
“I couldn’t do that.” She turned to Wei. “He might be my dad, but he doesn’t need me the way Pops does.”
I didn’t want to tell her what kind of person Ed really was. She’d gotten a little suspicious about the way he treated Ginnie, but I was sure she didn’t have any idea just how awful he’d been to our mother. “If Ed comes around your school or tries to have you go somewhere with him, don’t,” I said.
“Why not? I want to at least see him. I’ll tell him I can’t live with him. He’ll understand.”
A tall, lean woman emerged from the kitchen and came to our table.
Wei placed her right hand on her chest and bowed her head slightly. “Rosie, these are my friends Nina and Dee.”
I said hello and Dee smiled.
“Rosie is my Cliste Galad master,” Wei said.
“What’s that?” Dee asked.
“It’s a kind of martial art
,” Wei said. “Around the time of the Energy Wars, a group of Scottish women combined several types of fighting and came up with it.”
“What’s it mean? Cliste Galad?” Dee fumbled over the pronunciation.
“It means ‘agile brave girl,’” Rosie said. “Nowadays the Media tries to scare women away from learning it. There’s even talk of making it illegal. The GC doesn’t want girls to know how strong and courageous they can be. But that doesn’t apply to the three galads I see sitting here.” She winked at Dee.
The waitress came through the kitchen doors with our order.
“For my special customers,” Rosie said, placing the drinks in front of us.
“Wow!” Dee’s eyes widened, then narrowed. “This won’t make me fat, will it?”
“Since when do you care about that? And where did you get that idea in the first place?” I stared at my little sister.
“Maddie and I were watching a XVI Ways vid,” she said. “The earlier girls start paying attention to how they look, the better they’ll look.”
Wei smiled at her. “I wouldn’t believe everything that comes from XVI Ways,” she said. “I happen to know for a fact that a chocolate shake with whipped cream and a cherry on top will cure anyone’s problems. See?” She took a big pull on her straw. “Oooh! Ice-cream headache.” She rubbed her forehead.
Dee laughed and took a drink.
I twirled the straw around in my glass, taking halfhearted sips. Dee noticed.
“Don’t worry,” she said. “My dad will understand that I can’t live with him.”
“Uh-huh.” Her wanting to see him changed everything. Keeping them apart was not going to be easy.
The bell attached to the door jingled. It was Mike and Derek.
“Check this out.” Mike handed me a chip as he pulled up a chair. “I thought you’d get a kick out of it—it’s Van’s newest vert. They’re giving them away in exchange for your opinion about a new PAV.”
“You’re just like your dad,” Derek said.
“Am not.” Mike sounded a little hurt. “And it’s not like he wants to take all those drugs they stick in him. He only does it so we have a decent place to live. I’d never let anyone put all those drugs and stuff in me. I’d rather be homeless.”
“Just kidding—calm down.” Derek looked at Dee. “How’s everything?”
“Nina’s worried that my dad might want to take me to live with him. But Pops needs me too much. I’ll just tell Ed and everything will be fine. It’s no big deal.” The trust in her eyes made my stomach lurch.
“Hey,” Mike said. “Where’s my cake?”
After dinner, when Dee went to her room to do homework, I talked with Gran and Pops about Ed. I didn’t want to scare them, but I couldn’t keep all of this from them any longer. I chose my words carefully. “Dee says she wants to see him. I guess I understand a little. He is, after all, her father.”
“He’s a snake, is what he is. If I didn’t have this damned leg”—Pops banged a fist on his stump—“I’d go out there and give that jerk what he deserves. Father or not, he’d never come around Dee again. I know some people ...”
A wave of sympathy for Pops flooded over me. These people from all Pops’s stories were probably in about the same shape he was. It must be awful to be a prisoner in your own body.
Pops went on: “I can call in some favors, you know.”
“I know,” Gran said. The look in her eyes was exactly what I felt, only a thousand times more. “Let’s hope it won’t come to that. All the same, you might want to give them a heads-up that something’s brewing.”
“Good idea, old woman.” Pops shifted in his chair. “You want to get down the scrambler, Nina?”
I hoisted myself up onto the counter and removed the machine from its hiding place. Gran took it from me and plugged it in. “We’ll leave you here to talk in private.” She laid a hand on Pops’s shoulder, then motioned for me to come with her.
Once we were in the living room, she said, “His friends will be glad to hear from him. After a few minutes of bluster and bravado, they’ll start reminiscing; he’ll forget all about Ed.” The sadness in her voice cut right through my heart.
“How do you do it, Gran? I feel awful for Pops.”
“When you’ve loved someone as much and as long as I’ve loved that old man ...” Her eyes glistened. “You do whatever it takes to help them keep their pride and dignity.”
Gathering up dishes from the table, she went into the kitchen. My PAV beeped; it was Sandy. I took a deep breath and herded all my worries into a corner of my brain. They’d still be there when the call was over.
By the time Sandy and I’d finished talking, we had worked out the whole weekend. She was coming to town Saturday for the first time since I’d moved. I should’ve been ecstatic, but I wasn’t. I had no idea how she and Wei would get along. Never had I known, and liked, two more opposite people. I did still like Sandy, I told myself. She was my best friend. I shook off any thoughts to the contrary.
XXIV
Sal hadn’t called and I hadn’t seen him at school. By Friday I wasn’t shaking every time I moved from one class to the next. And my ears weren’t permanently tuned for the sound of his voice. Dull was exactly how I felt. Thankfully, none of us had seen or heard from Ed, either. Maybe he’d changed his mind about Dee. Probably not, but I could hope.
On the way home Friday, Derek told us that Riley would be playing music with him on Saturday night at Soma. It was the newest place to hang out. Patterned after coffeehouses from the mid-1900s, it featured acoustic music and espresso. I personally couldn’t stand coffee—but it smelled great. I was sure Sandy would love going there, especially if there were lots of boys.
“You guys better be there,” Derek said. “We need the moral support. This is our first real gig.”
“Can I come, too?” Dee said.
“It’s past your bedtime,” I said.
Dee shot me a look and kicked a rock down the street. “Fine.”
I didn’t enjoy playing the role of mother, especially when Dee got peevish with me.
“How about I come by your house at seven-thirty?” Wei said to me.
“I’ve got some stuff to do before then.” I’d been neglecting my art and I’d planned on spending the day sketching at the Art Institute. “I’ll meet you guys there.” At the corner of Clark and Dickens, I said, “See you tomorrow. I think maybe Dee and I will go through the park instead of taking the trans.”
“Really?” Dee brightened.
“It’s warm today,” I said. “Last time till spring probably.”
“You sure you want to do that?” The concern in Wei’s voice wasn’t lost on Derek. Or me.
“We’ll go with you,” he offered.
“Yeah,” Wei said. “I haven’t been by the zoo in ages. We could walk along the perimeter and maybe see the horses and cows. Okay?”
I agreed, because I knew they were right. No matter how much I didn’t want to think about Ed, he was always in the back of my mind. And even though it was the middle of the afternoon, and we were in a public place, if he showed up, I wasn’t sure if I’d know what to do.
By the time we passed the zoo, Derek and Wei had fallen behind us. They were talking low and Wei was laughing. We were close to my mountain. I didn’t want to think about the last time I’d been there, with Sal.
I turned to Dee. “Mom and I used to come here,” I said. “We would picnic and play games. It was before you were born. I had so much fun.”
“Just you and Mom? What about Ed?”
“She didn’t know Ed back then. I don’t think she had a boyfriend. Though, you know, come to think of it, there was a guy sometimes. I don’t remember him very well. He used to make me clover-chain crowns to wear. They’d talk and laugh together while I rolled down the hill. You wanna do that?”
“Nina.” She scrunched up her mouth. “I am almost twelve. I do not roll down hills.”
“Well, maybe you ought to.” I
reached over and tickled her. She screamed and darted away. I chased her and we tumbled down, wrestling around like we used to. It was the most fun I’d had with her since Ginnie’d died.
Wei and Derek caught up and were standing over us. “What are you doing?” Derek said.
“Playing,” Dee said through her giggles. “See?” She flopped over and rolled down the hill. “You do it, too,” she called up to us.
“It’s getting late,” Wei said. “We should make sure you get on the transit.”
“We’ll be fine,” I said. “The stop is right over there.” I pointed through the trees. “Nothing’s going to happen.” Having fun, for once, and being in this place made me feel almost safe.
“We’ll wait here and make sure. Okay?”
“You really don’t need to. I can handle it.” I made an exaggerated martial arts move complete with sound effects. “Waaaah!”
Derek rolled his eyes. “I guess it’s okay. You think?” He looked to Wei for confirmation.
She glanced down the hill at Dee before whispering, “I think you’d make Ed fall down laughing. That would give you plenty of time to get away.” She took Derek’s hand. “We’ll stay here till you get across the street. How’s that?”
“Fine.” I laughed. “Come on, Dee.”
We got across Stockton Drive and I waved to Derek and Wei. They waved back and left.
Dee and I were almost to Clark when a trannie whizzed past us from behind. It was green. I knew it was Ed.
He rounded Eugenia by Lincoln’s statue and turned onto Clark, blocking us off from the transit stop. We were in a wide-open area with no place to run and hide. Derek and Wei were too far off to hear if I screamed.
My PAV beeped.
“I’m here to see my daughter,” Ed said.
I clicked off and grabbed Dee’s hand, “We’ve got to—”