by J Gaines
He stood with his hand on the glass for what seemed like an age; the only sound was the occasional rustle of paper as Jasmine turned a page. When he couldn’t bear it any longer, he clenched his hand into a fist and pushed himself away from the glass, as much mentally as physically. As he turned his head and walked away he felt his insides wrench; he knew it was time to leave. He walked to the door and waited, turning to where Max had been standing, in expectation of having to endure his observations of what had just taken place. But Max was now sitting on his bed; his head was lowered and Amias was surprised to see he was avoiding eye contact. Unsure if it was a snub or a sensitive gesture, he appreciated not having to discuss it, nevertheless, and he was glad when the door was unlocked for him. He nodded at Russ, who must be aware of how things had gone. An eagerness to get out of the now claustrophobic facility was building; it felt like a weight on his chest and he swallowed hard. His legs twitched as he was signed out and he waited impatiently for the main entrance door to be unlocked. It was still raining as he walked out into the darkness; he looked up and was glad of the rain that streamed into his face. He took a large deep breath through his nose and closed his eyes. An image of Jasmine as he’d just seen her sprang into his mind. Suddenly he leaned forward as he felt a wave of anguish and sadness fill his body. All the torture he’d suffered over the past days seemed to hit him at once, and he dropped to his knees. He placed his hands on the ground and tried to raise himself, but the small amount of strength he needed had left him. As he looked at the channels of water running over his hands he laughed. After all he’d been subjected to, it was something totally unexpected which had brought him to his knees. His head began to ache again.
He felt a hand on his back and a strange sensation battled against his pain. The warmth of the person’s touch reminded him of a memory he couldn’t place. Could it be… He raised his head in expectation, but the rain blurred his vision.
“I’m sorry, Amias.” Words he was desperate to hear were spoken by a person he didn’t want to hear them from.
“Olivia,” he whispered.
“Come on, let’s get you up and out of the rain.” She reached down, wrapping her arm around his shoulders and helped him to his feet. He could feel her strength and he allowed her to take his weight until his feet were firmly planted and he was standing. As she released him, he tottered precariously for a moment before finding his balance. The rain was still falling heavily.
“You need rest, Amias. You’ve been injured, and almost broken. If you don’t sleep and recuperate, you may never recover your true strength.”
Amias shook his head. “It doesn’t matter, I’ve told you that. Even if I’m at my strongest, I couldn’t beat Kaden.”
“You don’t know that. Virgil believed you could, and if anybody was able to assess the true measure of a person, it was him. He believed in you enough to attempt to train you. Training someone of your age had never been tried before, and we believe it was much too old of an age to gain the control you need over your emotions.”
“Why?” replied Amias.
“Because as an adult, you’ve already established emotional behaviour patterns that don’t allow for the belief you need to control your emotions.”
“Belief.” Amias gritted his teeth and grinned bitterly. “Virgil believed, and look what happened to me.”
“It isn’t about his belief, it’s about yours. It’s about what’s inside you and the power you have over your emotions and your physiology. Controlling your fear gives you strength, but believing in your ability to channel it gives you infinite power. Virgil needed to teach you control quickly, because he knew his time with you wouldn’t be long. But he couldn’t help you believe in who you are, and the abilities you have. He wasn’t able to help you understand what makes you so different.”
Amias turned his head away and remembered what Kaden had told him. “I know what makes me different, I was born different.”
“You were born different, but that’s not what makes you special. What makes you special can’t be defined by one thing, it isn’t specific to your physiology, it isn’t distinct to your control. It’s everything that has made you who you are since you were born, and maybe even more than that. It could be from something that’s beyond our comprehension. Why is your compassion and compulsion to love and protect stronger than anybody else’s? Considering what you’ve experienced in your life, they are qualities you could easily lack. But Virgil believed there was something else inside you, a trigger for your physical abilities that was stronger than anyone else’s.”
“How do you know what Virgil believed?” Amias muttered.
“Because he told me. We spoke of you briefly.” Amias raised his eyebrows and was about to question how, when Olivia interrupted him. “We both know how to use phones. When he found you, he told me, and asked my advice on what he should do next.”
“And what did you tell him?”
“That he should train you.”
Amias frowned. “You were a part of his decision to train me?”
“We’ve followed your life for a long time. Virgil always regretted the choice he made not to pursue you on that night long ago. It weighed heavily upon him, especially considering where your path led you.” Olivia was watching him intently, waiting for his response. It was something he’d noticed before; it was as if she were waiting for him to come to some understanding or to tell her something. Perhaps she had already guessed that he hadn’t told John, Xavier and her the whole truth about his time with Kaden?
“Did you know Blaise?”
Olivia nodded slowly. “We met while he was under Virgil’s tutelage, Kaden was also with them then.”
“And Jasmine?” whispered Amias.
“She was my student, as you know. She met Kaden and Blaise once when they were younger. It was when she grew older and had left my mentorship that I believe Kaden managed to persuade her to join him.”
“Do you think she’s here for him?” Amias didn’t want to hear her answer, but Olivia seemed to know Jasmine better than anyone else.
“I honestly don’t know. I still find it hard to believe he corrupted her before, and it’s not beyond belief he’s managed to do it again. But my heart tells me she’s lost to everybody now, even to me.”
Amias lowered his eyes. “I feel the same.”
Olivia sighed. “I’m sorry my words aren’t more of a comfort to you. There’s always hope, though; it can’t be coincidence she arrived here. Somehow, she’s been drawn to this place, and that makes me feel better.”
“I feel lost,” sighed Amias, almost to himself.
“I know. But it’s time for me to help you truly find your power.”
Amias looked at Olivia. “How?”
“Go get some rest; tomorrow we start your training.”
“You’re going to train me?”
“This will be the final piece of your puzzle.” She paused. “Maybe it was always meant to be this way. We can help each other.”
“How can I help you?”
Olivia paused again and looked at him sadly. “I can help Virgil finish what he started.”
Amias shook his head. “No more training. I respect you, and I’m sure you really are the greatest trainer of the altéré, but I’m done with control, and self-discipline. Virgil’s training has possibly kept me alive, but if I’m honest, it’s not given me much more.”
Olivia nodded. “I understand. But you need to understand that if you don’t finish your training, you’ll never be able to overcome Kaden-”
Amias interrupted her angrily and began walking away. “We’ve been through this already–”
Olivia raised her voice commandingly, not letting Amias finish. He stopped, with his back still turned. “And you will never find the inner peace you so desperately need. If you’re ever going to reach Jasmine again, then you need to look deep
inside yourself and ask who you are. Are you the leader that John thinks you can be or are you the angry young man who blames the world for losing what he now has back?” Before Amias could respond, Olivia turned, making her way quickly across the courtyard before disappearing into the rainy night.
Chapter 17
As rain lashed across his face, he desperately tried to break free of the vice-like grip that trapped him. It was dark, but he knew exactly where he was: it was the place he’d visited almost every night for over a year. He desperately told himself to wake up, repeating it in his head as the arms wrapped around him, squeezing more tightly. He screwed his eyes shut, only to open them again and find that he was still on the rooftop of Kaden’s skyscraper. Looking down, he saw the two large forearms locked around his waist and he strained as he attempted to push them apart. With one final effort, he cried out and ripped himself free, falling to his knees on the wet concrete.
He stumbled forward, desperate to get somewhere he wasn’t sure of and escape his unidentified captor. His legs felt as if they were no longer under his control, and he tripped and fell onto his hands and knees. The concrete suddenly seemed to attach itself like glue, ensnaring him. He tried to pull himself free, but felt his skin tear and he cried out, lifting his head as lightning scorched across the sky. A deep rumble of thunder followed. Through the rain he could see a figure standing by the edge of the rooftop, with their back turned, looking over the brink. He shouted; a few moments passed before the person turned and walked slowly towards him. As the figure approached, he realised it was Blaise. He felt an overwhelming urgency and screamed out to him with words he didn’t understand. Blaise stopped, looking at him strangely, as if he didn’t recognise who he was. Then, without warning, he turned, sprinted towards the edge and leapt into the night. Amias screamed again and wrenched his hands and knees from the concrete. He looked down to see blood flowing from his palms but he didn’t stop; instead he kept running as fast as he could towards where Blaise had jumped. Without hesitating he sprang into the darkness. As he fell, he tried to grab hold of branches that suddenly sprang from the building, trying to slow himself down and delay the inevitable collision. As the wet boughs slipped through his fingers he closed his eyes and braced himself.
When no impact followed, he opened his eyes to find himself lying on the ground. It was still raining, and a boy stood over him, pointing and screaming profanities. He rolled sideways and tried to get up, but the boy lifted his foot and stamped on him. Amias rolled onto his back again as the boy dropped onto his chest. It was then he realised it was Jack, the boy he’d killed when he was eleven years old. Jack reached out and grabbed his throat with both hands, and Amias gasped for air. The pressure was immense, and he tried vainly to pry Jack’s wet fingers off him. Unable to loosen his grip, he reached out and took a handful of his hair, yanking him downwards and using the momentum to wrestle himself on top of Jack. He looked down at the wide eyes underneath him and grabbed Jack’s throat. He tried not to squeeze, and to hold him still, but as he did so the face he was looking at suddenly changed: at first it was Virgil, then Reuben, then Lucas. Amias cried out but didn’t let go, scared of what might happen. Finally, the face changed again, and he was looking down at himself.
*
Amias sat up with a jolt and found he was in his bed at the facility. Tears filled his eyes and sweat covered his body. He placed his hands over his face and clawed at it slightly to check he wasn’t still asleep. He sighed and rolled out of bed, quickly pulling on his jeans and t-shirt before slipping on his boots and rushing for the door. It shut behind him and he ran down the short corridor to the exit, bursting out into the morning. He ran a few paces and then slowed to a walk as he realised other people in the facility were already up, going about their daily responsibilities. Two days had passed since his visit to Jasmine. In that time, he’d tried his best to shut her completely out of his thoughts, but he was finding it difficult. In many ways, he felt the same as he had in the weeks after the night of her supposed death.
Unable to sleep, he sat in the tree he used to scale the perimeter fence and looked out into the dark night. He considered climbing the hill, but for the first time in a long time he felt an obligation to be close to the base in case he was needed. He was sure a big part of that was Jasmine, but there was something else. Since Lucas’s death, he’d found he was asking himself questions constantly.
“What would Lucas do?” he whispered. He looked back towards the facility, hearing footsteps before he saw anyone.
“Mia, you’re up late.”
“Amias! I’m glad I found you here, I was worried I might need to go all the way up that stupid hill in the dark. Can I come up?” Amias lowered a hand and pulled her effortlessly onto the large branch.
She looked around and then downwards. “What is it with you and finding weird places to hang out?”
Amias smiled. “It’s usually a place I can be alone.”
“Well, that’s why I’m here. I think there’s been enough of you wallowing around on your own. I’ve heard Jasmine won’t even look at you?”
Amias winced. “Something like that.”
Mia softened her tone. “Look, I know it’s hard, but she must have been through a massive trauma. Who knows what’s happened to her in the last fourteen months. You need to give her time and be there for her. I’m sure she’ll remember you in the end, you’re pretty hard to forget!” Amias nodded but didn’t reply. “I’ve been talking to John about it.” Amias groaned and Mia raised her voice. “I know it’s probably weird hearing that I talk to John, but you need to get used to it. We talk, amongst other things.” Amias groaned again. “And he told me something that I thought you’d want to know.” Amias rolled his eyes. “It’s relevant, Amias, I wouldn’t bring it up if it wasn’t. We were talking about our relationship, his and mine, and he told me it’s more common for an altéré to seek a relationship with someone normal, like me. He said it’s because your kind can’t have children together.” She didn’t let Amias respond. “But he also said that it’s possible for two altéré to develop a special bond, a bond that is stronger than anything they’ve ever experienced before, a bond that can’t be broken.” She stopped, waiting for Amias to respond. When he didn’t she continued. “John said he’s never felt it, or known anyone that has, but maybe…”
Amias interrupted her. “Jasmine told me about it, she described it as an unbreakable bond. If you’re trying to imply it’s what Jasmine and I have, then don’t you think it’s strange she won’t talk to me?”
Mia was silent for a moment. “Amias, she may not have talked to you, but somehow she found you. I don’t know how, but she did. And now you have to try and find her, even though she’s right in front of your face.” She paused. “Well, I think that would be easy for the man I fell in love with.”
Amias smiled and let Mia hold his hand. “This tree is getting uncomfortable now, can you help me down?”
*
As morning came and he made his way through the facility it seemed as if nothing had changed for anybody but him. He watched as people carried out their duties, hurrying from building to building, oblivious of the danger they were in. He was aware an inevitable attack was coming, an eventuality that would mean the end for all the altéré in the facility. Once Kaden found out their location, there would be no stopping him. He would use all his force to crush them once and for all. Before, he’d welcomed the thought of a final confrontation, but things had changed. As much as he didn’t want to admit it to himself, now he had something to lose. He stopped and strained his eyes towards his destination; he needed to be alone and away from this place for a while. He could see the tall chimney rising towards the dark clouds that threatened more rain and began walking again. He’d only managed a few steps when Sophia stepped out of a doorway in front of him; she seemed preoccupied and only noticed him when he greeted her.
“Oh, hi, Amias. I didn’t
see you there. Where are you off to?”
“Nowhere, I just needed some air,” he lied. He noticed her eyes were red and a little swollen, despite her best efforts to hide it. “Are you okay?”
Now it was her turn to lie. She turned her head to the side and bit her lip. “Yes, I’m fine.” She paused. “Have you seen her?”
Amias nodded. “Yes. But she doesn’t remember me. She doesn’t remember anyone, and she’s not talking.”
“I tried to warn you, but John asked us not to tell you. He wanted to be the one to break the news.” She paused again. “I thought that it might be a really hard thing to be told by the three of them together.”
“Thanks. I don’t think there was an easy way to hear it,” replied Amias. When Sophia didn’t respond, he sighed. “You know, there’s something I think I should tell you. Something Lucas told me when we were being held by Kaden.”
Tears filled her eyes and she turned her head the other way. “You don’t need to tell me.”
Amias lowered his head as he contemplated her words. “How?”
She hesitated. “You just know… when somebody feels that way, you just know. The same way you know when somebody doesn’t.” Her eyes suddenly met his, and they held each other’s stare for a moment before she turned away.
“I’ve got to go.” The promised rain had begun to fall, and she walked away before stopping and looking back at him. “He admired you… Lucas, he didn’t always agree with you, but he admired you all the same. Do you know why?”
Amias shook his head. “No.”
“Because even though you never seemed to have a plan, you always got the job done.” She smiled sadly. “It used to infuriate him.”