‘A successful evening.’
Tattie turned to see that Alex had come out onto the veranda after seeing his parents off.
‘Thanks to you. She really is struggling, isn’t she?’
‘Mmm… We’ve been trying to persuade her to have this done for quite a while now, but you know how much she hates hospitals and is scared to death of operations. Hip replacements have a great rate of success, though.’
‘Does she…? Do they…? They didn’t ask any questions about me leaving Darwin. Did you warn them off, Alex?’
‘Of course.’
‘How?’
‘I told them it was something you needed to get out of your system, that’s all.’ He shrugged.
Tattie went still. ‘Is that what you genuinely believe?’
He glanced down at her and smiled fleetingly. ‘Isn’t it, Tattie?’
‘It’s much more than that!’
He shrugged. ‘All the same, I’m at a slight disadvantage here, Tatiana. No one can quite understand why I haven’t bedded you and got all this nonsense out of the way.’
She made a kittenish sound of pure outrage. ‘It is not nonsense, Alex Constantin!’
‘I wasn’t saying it was nonsense. I was only faithfully reporting to you how others, your mother included, view it. And the slightly awkward position it puts me in, that’s all.’
‘She hasn’t—my mother hasn’t dared to express such an opinion,’ Tattie got out, more in sincere hope than from conviction, because the circles of her mother’s mind were not always predictable.
‘Perhaps not on what I should do about it, but she was the one who told me you needed to get this out of your system—your obsession with saving Carnarvon like a true Beaufort,’ he said drily.
Tattie spluttered something incomprehensible, then took aim at the only thing left in her sights. ‘Leaving that aside, it must be a little galling to know that your reputation with women is suffering, Alex.’
But it bounced off him harmlessly.
‘I can live with it, Tattie,’ he drawled. ‘For one thing, they’re only our families. For another, they don’t know the real story.’
Several sequences flashed through Tattie’s brain. The number of occasions he had kissed her and found her not unwilling at all. The occasion he had been the one to call a halt when she had not had the will-power or the desire to do so. Desires quite in the opposite direction, you might say, she thought, and winced. And only this evening, when all that had saved her from giving herself to him had been a piece of burnt roast pork.
But in light of what he’d just told her, even if he claimed it didn’t bother him what their families thought, she thought she could see a pattern in the game, and that pattern was not that he was falling in love with her or genuinely jealous of Oscar—perish the thought, she marvelled bitterly—but a determination to make this arranged marriage work.
‘Alex, I’m going to bed and I’m going to lock my door, because you’re still playing games with me,’ she told him through her teeth.
He put his hand on her arm to detain her and his mouth was hard, the lines of his face grim. ‘Don’t bother to lock your door, Tattie. I wouldn’t dream of trying to scale your ivory tower tonight. But let’s get something straight. All this blew up out of nothing—yes, perhaps I wasn’t so tactful but I was honest. Your blow-hot, blow-cold approach is not. If you want me as I want you, at least admit it. And if you don’t, you must really be an incredible actress.’ He released her arm and stepped back.
She gasped as if he’d struck her. Then she ran away from him, and she did lock herself into her bedroom.
She spent the next afternoon at the hospital, after Irina’s operation.
She and Alex weren’t talking—not in private anyway—and it helped to have something to do, although it wasn’t a lot, as Irina slowly came round. But at least she could relieve George from time to time. Alex spent an hour with his mother when she regained consciousness and brought her a lovely spray of yellow cymbidium orchids in a pewter bud vase exquisitely studded with natural keshi pearls.
Tattie watched him during the hour he spent with his mother and found it hard to equate this man with the grim stranger of the night before. He made Irina laugh and he obviously made her feel cherished, so that you could see the terrors of hospitals and operations fading.
After an hour Irina told him to take George away and give him dinner. ‘Tattie will stay with me until you bring him back, won’t you, my dear?’
‘Of course,’ Tattie agreed.
‘He’s so kind to me, Alex is,’ Irina murmured when they’d gone. ‘In fact, he’s a fine man, my son!’
‘He is.’ Tattie swallowed and wondered what was coming. But Irina fell asleep until George and Alex reappeared.
George whispered to her that he would take over now and Alex would take her home. ‘You look really tired, but thank you for everything today and last night,’ he added.
She got up and cast an uncertain glance at Alex; she couldn’t help herself.
He said quietly, ‘Come home, Tattie.’
‘You look exhausted.’
They’d just got into the apartment and he put his keys on the hall table and pulled off his jacket and tie.
‘Can you eat anything?’
‘No… I don’t know…’ She couldn’t go on.
He grimaced. ‘Listen, I’m not about to resume hostilities. Go into the den, put your feet up and I’ll bring you something. And thank you for being with my mother today.’ He turned away.
She went into the den and did as she was told. Presently he arrived with a tray and put before her some toasted cheese sandwiches and a pot of fragrant Earl Grey tea, but he had nothing for himself.
‘Don’t you want some of this?’ she queried.
‘No. I ate with Dad.’ He moved to an armchair and sprawled out in it. He waited until she’d eaten her sandwiches to say, ‘By the way, I heard from Beaufort today. Your mother and Doug have arrived and all is well, although Oscar appears to be missing you. He hasn’t chewed a single thing since you left.’
Tattie smiled and sipped her tea. ‘Perhaps he’s growing up. Either that or I’m a bad influence on him.’ Her smiled faded and she looked suddenly desolate.
Alex sat up. ‘He’s missing you, Tattie, that’s all. Look, let’s just concentrate on getting my mother over this then you can go back to Beaufort and we’ll—’ he gestured rather wryly ‘—come to some arrangement. But it’s stupid for us to carry on in a state of armed neutrality at the moment.’
‘All right,’ she said slowly, and finished her tea. ‘But would you mind if I went to bed now? I do seem to feel exhausted.’
‘Of course not.’ His eyes were alert as he scanned her pale, weary face, and he stood up and came over to her.
‘Goodnight, my dear. Sleep well. It’s not the end of the earth, you know.’
It may not be for you, Alex, she said in her mind as she leant back against her bedroom door, but I feel as if I’ve been run over by a steamroller. I don’t know what to think. I don’t even seem to know myself too well any more. Hasn’t that always been the problem, though? What’s between us may not be cataclysmic for you, but it is for me…
And, to make matters worse, Irina was transferred into Intensive Care the next morning with post-operative complications. There followed four awful days while her doctors battled to save her life.
‘If you want to go back to Beaufort, your next lot of guests are due to arrive shortly,’ Alex said to her at one point. ‘I—’
‘Do you really think I’d do that?’ she interrupted.
He looked ten years older, with harsh lines scored beside his mouth, and he was grey from lack of sleep.
‘It’s not that, but—’
‘Alex,’ she said more gently, ‘between my mother, Polly, Doug and Marie, they can cope. I’m not going anywhere. But I am going to lay down the law here. You must go home and get some sleep. I promise I’ll call you if there’s any c
hange.’
‘Dad—’
She interrupted again. ‘I’ll be there with him at her bedside.’
Two days later they got the news that, although there was a long road back to full health in front of Irina, she was out of danger. And for the first time they were able to go home together.
It was a balmy evening, and while Tattie made them a meal Alex simply stood on the veranda, staring out over the harbour as the last of the daylight faded with a light show made unique by the dust and smoke from bush fires that were so much part of the Northern Territory at this time of the year.
Nor did he turn, although he must have heard her, and after she’d put the plates down she went to stand next to him at the railing.
He said, ‘I was so afraid she was going to die without ever seeing the grandchildren she yearned for. I really felt I’d failed her.’
‘Not you—me,’ Tattie whispered.
He didn’t look at her and shook his head. ‘No. It’s part of our culture and heritage, Tattie. You’d have to be Greek to understand it. I don’t think mostly Anglo-Saxon with a dash of Russian can really give you the same…whatever it is.’ He shrugged. ‘And you certainly can’t be held accountable for it.’
‘But you’ve been a wonderful son to her, Alex. She adores you.’
‘I still feel as if I’ve let her down. I still…’ He moved his shoulders restlessly. ‘She might have driven me mad at times with the way she tried to run my life but I still…would be devastated to lose her.’
‘I know what you mean, and she isn’t even my mother,’ Tattie said softly. ‘There’s just something about Irina that you can’t help loving. So much warmth, and she’s so genuine—she’s just one of those people who makes your life better for knowing her.’
He took a deep, shuddery breath and said huskily, ‘Thank you for that.’
And something broke within Tattie, something that felt like a knot unravelling, releasing the certainty that, whatever happened in the future, she had never loved Alex Constantin more than she did right now. Was it because she’d never seen him so defenceless before? she wondered. Was it because she had seen real, painful emotion and a very human side to him over the last few days—perhaps for the first time?
She shook her head, unable to answer herself or fight the tide of longing that swamped her to at least bring him some comfort. And she slipped her arm around his waist and laid her head below his shoulder.
He tensed, but she ignored it and rubbed her cheek against his shirt.
‘Tattie—no,’ he said barely audibly. ‘This is very sweet of you, but—’
‘It’s not sweet. I can’t help it, that’s all, and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t make me feel like a teenager.’
She felt his chest jolt with sudden laughter. But he sobered immediately and there was evident strain in his voice as he said, ‘What do you want me to do? Kiss you and walk away from you, Tattie?’
‘No. I want you to leave it all to me, Alex, just this once. Come inside.’ She took his hand.
‘Dinner…’ he started to say.
She looked at the meal she’d prepared going cold on the veranda table. ‘Dinner can wait.’
Her bedroom was dark, so she switched on a bedside lamp.
Alex was standing in the middle of the room, looking around at the lovely cream and hyacinth decor with a slightly wry expression.
Tattie went to him and put her hand in his. ‘I know what you’re thinking.’
He looked down at her with his eyebrows raised.
‘That this is a little like storming the Bastille?’ she suggested.
His lips twitched. ‘I was beginning to doubt that I’d ever use this room for its rightful purpose.’
Tattie raised his hand to her mouth and kissed his knuckles. ‘At this moment in time,’ she said barely audibly, ‘it seems very right to be in here, together.’
He touched her hair. ‘At this moment in time, Tattie, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be, but—’
‘Let’s just do it,’ she whispered, and moved into his arms.
They closed about her, but she could sense he was still holding back, that he was still tense.
‘Tattie, there’s a point of no return in these matters.’
She raised her eyes to his and they were clear and unshadowed. ‘I won’t do that to you,’ she promised.
He smiled, but there was still a question in his eyes.
‘You’re wondering if I…know much about it at all?’
‘Perhaps.’
‘No, I don’t,’ she conceded. ‘In fact, I have no idea where to go from here, so I guess I must have a lot of faith in you, Alex, because I really would like to…go on from here, with you.’
He hesitated briefly and remembered that he had actually planned this, the only difference being that it was to have been a time of his choosing. Was it ironic that she had beaten him to the draw? Was it supremely ironic, he wondered, that he should be worried about taking unfair advantage of her when she herself had opened up the way for him?
Then she stood on her toes and kissed him softly. ‘Is this…a good direction to take?’ she breathed against the corner of his mouth.
He said her name on a tortured breath and pulled her so close she could barely breathe. ‘It’s excellent,’ he murmured, and started to kiss her deeply.
And in the end he was the one who took control of their lovemaking; he couldn’t help himself. As she clung to him dazedly she was more than happy to surrender the lead. ‘Oh—I really don’t know how to go on!’ she said raggedly.
‘Tattie,’ he said on a breath, ‘do you want to stop?’
‘No!’ She looked up at him, her eyes horrified. ‘I didn’t mean that. It’s just that it might be an idea if I surrendered the lead to you, in a manner of speaking.’
Her arms were around his neck, his hands were on her hips, her shoes were kicked off, the buttons of the blouse she wore with a long georgette skirt were undone to her waist, and a wicked glint came into his eyes as he looked down at her.
‘You were doing very well in the lead, Mrs Constantin, I don’t think you have to worry about that.’
‘All the same—is it too soon to go to bed?’
He laughed softly. ‘No. Any more of this and I could become a basket case.’
Her eyes widened and her lips parted.
He kissed her and picked her up. ‘Let me show you.’ And he carried her to the bed.
But far from being a basket case, and despite his earlier exhaustion, Alex Constantin went out of his way to make love to her with the most exquisite finesse. He undressed her carefully and told her how lovely she was, until she couldn’t help but believe him. And his fingers wrought a devastating trail of fire down her body at the same time.
‘I’d like to do the same to you,’ she whispered once.
‘Be my guest,’ he replied, and took his clothes off.
‘Oh,’ she said huskily when they were in each other’s arms with nothing between them. ‘I’m sure this isn’t really red-hot sex but I don’t think I could stand much more.’
He lifted his head; he’d been tugging her nipples gently between his teeth. ‘This is as good as it gets, Tattie.’
‘Really? For you too?’ she gasped.
‘Let me show you.’ And he eased his weight onto her and all the unfamiliar sensations, instead of frightening her, became a matter of urgency, lovely, rapturous, extremely compelling, and obviously as compelling for him. She was lost for words at last, and she gave herself up completely to Alex’s stewardship of her body, following all his leads as he led her to sheer heaven and held her hard in his arms while they both shuddered with the intensity of it.
‘OK?’ He brushed her hair off her face with his fingers.
She didn’t answer because she still couldn’t speak.
He grinned and kissed her, and she cuddled up to him with a sigh.
Then she found some words at last. ‘I was supposed to be the one bringi
ng you some comfort.’
‘You did. I feel like a new man.’
‘Really?’ She raised her eyes to his a little wryly.
‘Yes, really, Tattie. By the way, what did you think really red-hot sex meant?’
‘Ah. I had visions of, well, doing it anywhere, for example. In cars, on carpets, in hay lofts—’
‘I could always arrange that, although personally I’m happier with a bed.’
She ignored him, but with a severe little look. ‘I had visions of exotic underwear and strange positions and golden, leopard-like women—’
‘Strange positions can play havoc with one’s back,’ he offered gravely.
‘Let me finish—to be honest, really red-hot sex frightened the life out of me.’
He laughed. ‘I’m not surprised! But are you trying to say you associated me with all that?’
She went to say yes, then bit her lip. And she said instead, ‘I guess you just don’t know what you’re in for until you do it.’
‘No. So how was it?’
She closed her eyes and thought back for a moment, and felt herself go all goosefleshy. ‘The most marvellous experience of my life,’ she said simply.
He gathered her closer and murmured against the corner of her mouth, ‘One day I’ll remind you you said that, but thank you.’
Her lashes fluttered up. ‘Shouldn’t I have said it?’
‘You have my permission to say it to me any time you like.’
‘So…? Was it too ingenuous or something like that?’ she queried, sounding suddenly awkward.
His dark gaze sharpened and she thought he was about to say something. Then he changed his mind. ‘No. I’ll always remember it.’
Not much later she fell asleep in his arms.
CHAPTER EIGHT
SHE was singing softly to herself the next morning as she stepped out of the shower.
Then she stopped and told herself that there were a lot of things still unresolved between her and Alex and it mightn’t be appropriate to be so happy yet. But he came in as she stood in the middle of the bathroom, wearing only a towel and a smile of sheer contentment.
The Constantin Marriage Page 12