by Duncan Ball
‘Purpose shmerpose,’ the reflection said.‘In a few minutes you’ll be just the way I was. You’ll have to do everything I do. You won’t be able to talk to me like this. The only thing you’ll be able to do by yourself is think.’
‘Please let me out,’ Selby pleaded. ‘I’ll do anything you say.’
‘Hmmm,’ hmmmed the reflection as he looked at the Quick ’n’ Streaky bottle. ‘Why is the mirror still so clear? It should have gone back to normal. Oh, well, I’d better go and make my announcement.’
‘What announcement?’
‘I’m going to tell everyone at the party that I know how to talk.’
‘You’re going to tell — our secret?!’
‘Why not? I don’t know why you didn’t do it years ago.’
‘You know very well why I didn’t!’
‘Listen, I’m not like you, okay? I may look like you but I’m not like you. I’m not afraid of fame.’
‘But you’ll be kept in a laboratory and asked stupid questions by scientists all day.’
‘If they ever did that I’d give ’em some dough and they’d let me go. Remember, I’m going to be very rich. There will be TV appearances, movies made about me, books written about me — not like the ones about you. These’ll be real books about a real talking dog.’
‘My books are about a real talking dog — me.’
‘Yeah but nobody believes it because you won’t tell them your real name or where you really live. I’m going to tell everything! Except the part about you being stuck in the mirror and me being your reflection, of course.’
‘Somebody will dognap you.’
‘I’ll hire bodyguards. Why didn’t you think of that, dummy?’
‘The bodyguards might kidnap you.’
‘I’ll worry about that when the time comes,’ the reflection said.‘See you when I see you.’
‘Okay, you win,’ Selby sniffed. ‘Go ahead, tell the world. But there’s one thing.’
‘Is this another one of your lame-brained tricks?’
‘You can’t make your big announcement looking like that.’
‘I look just like you!’
‘Except for that piece of chocolate on your lip. It looks stupid. If you’re going to give away the greatest secret in the history of the world you don’t want to look like a slob when you do it.’
The reflection licked its lips.
‘Did I get it?’
‘Almost.’
Again the reflection licked.
‘No good,’ Selby said. ‘This is where you need a real reflection to show you where it is. Here, put your mouth down close so I can show you.’
The reflection put its mouth close to the mirror and, just as it did, Selby reached out and pulled it through, jumping out at the same time.
‘Hey! You tricked me!’ the reflection screamed.
Selby grabbed the bottle of KleerSparkle Kleener (which was really Quick ’n’ Streaky because Selby had switched the contents of both bottles) and sprayed the mirror, sealing his reflection behind the glass forever. In a minute, the reflection was doing just what Selby was doing — pouring the real KleerSparkle Kleener down the sink.
‘Mirror mirror, on the wall,’ Selby said with a grin.‘Who’s the cleverest dog of all? Me!’
‘Selby seems to be his old self again,’ Mrs Trifle said as she cleaned up on the morning after the party. Selby lay on the floor nearby, watching and listening. ‘I was a bit worried about him last night.’
‘So was I,’ Dr Trifle said.
‘He did the oddest things,’ Mrs Trifle said.
‘All that stick chasing nearly wore me out,’ Dr Trifle said.
‘And he sat at the table and ate like a person. He even ate peanut prawns,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘Imagine a dog liking peanut prawns!’
‘Maybe he does like them,’ Dr Trifle said.
‘Heavens no. No real dog would like peanut prawns. Here, watch this.’
Mrs Trifle put a pile of peanut prawns in Selby’s bowl. She then put a Dry-Mouth Dog Biscuit on the floor beside it.
‘Here, Selby,’ she said.
The smell of peanut prawns suddenly filled Selby’s nostrils. His mouth hovered over the bowl.
‘I want them, I want them,’ Selby chanted in his brain.‘But I can’t have them!’
Selby’s quivering mouth made its way down to the bowl but then quickly moved to the side and grabbed the dog biscuit.
‘See?’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘Just as I thought — he’s a normal dog. He’s the dear old Selby that we love so much.’
‘And that’s what I’ll always be,’ Selby thought. And as he looked up at his wonderful owners, a little tear of happiness ran down his nose.
Paw note: See the story ‘Selby in Suspense’ in the book Selby Supersnoop. S
THROUGH THE LICKING-GLASS
About the Author
Duncan Ball is an Australian author and scriptwriter, best known for his popular books for children. Among his most-loved works are the Selby books of stories plus the collections Selby’s Selection, Selby’s Joke Book and Selby’s Side-Splitting Joke Book. Some of these books have also been published in New Zealand, Germany, Japan and the USA, and have won countless awards, most of which were voted by the children themselves.
Among Duncan’s other books are the Emily Eyefinger series about the adventures of a girl who was born with an eye on the end of her finger, and the comedy novels Piggott Place and Piggotts in Peril, about the frustrations of twelve-year-old Bert Piggott forever struggling to get his family of ratbags and dreamers out of the trouble they are constantly getting themselves into.
Duncan lives in Sydney with his wife, Jill, and their cat, Jasper. Jasper often keeps Duncan company while he’s writing and has been known to help by walking on the keyboard. Once, returning to his work, Duncan found the following word had mysteriously appeared on screen: ikantawq………………
BY THE SAME AUTHOR
Emily Eyefinger
Emily Eyefinger, Secret Agent
Emily Eyefinger and the Lost Treasure
Emily Eyefinger and the Black Volcano
Emily Eyefinger’s Alien Adventure
Emily Eyefinger and the Devil Bones
Emily Eyefinger and the Balloon Bandits
Emily Eyefinger and the Ghost Ship
Piggott Place
Piggotts in Peril
Selby’s Secret
Selby Speaks
Selby Screams
Selby Supersnoop
Selby Spacedog
Selby Snowbound
Selby Surfs
Selby Snaps!
Selby’s Joke Book
Selby Splits
Selby’s Selection
Selby’s Stardom
Selby’s Side-Splitting Joke Book
Selby Sorcerer
Selby Scrambled
Copyright
Angus&Robertson
An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers, Australia
First published in Australia in 2001
This edition published in 2011
by HarperCollinsPublishers Australia Pty Limited
ABN 36 009 913 517
www.harpercollins.com.au
Copyright © Duncan Ball 2001
Illustration copyright © Allan Stomann 2001
The right of Duncan Ball to be identified as the author and the right of Allan Stomann to be identified as the illustrator of this work has been asserted by them in accordance with the Copyright Amendment (Moral Rights) Act 2000.
This work is copyright. Apart from any use as permitted under the Copyright Act 1968, no part may be reproduced, copied, scanned, stored in a retrieval system, recorded, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
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National Library of Australia Cataloguing-in-Publication data:
Ball, Duncan
Selby Splits/Duncan Ball
ISBN: 978-0-2072-0025-0 (pbk.)
ISBN: 978-0-7304-9525-3 (ePub)
1. Dogs – Juvenile fiction. I. Stomann, Allan. II. Title.
A823.3
Cover and internal design by Christa Edmonds