by JL Caid
The air suddenly feels wet and I swear it starts to drizzle right there in the hallway.
“If you fully commit to me, you’re saying goodbye to her,” I whisper. “You have to let everything about her go. No matter what. You still believe there’s a chance you can get to her. Find her. Save her. Have her.”
The drizzle in the hallway is now a downpour. It’s raining inside their house. Water splashing against the floors. Dripping down the walls. It’s like it’s only encompassing me and Kyran though. Seth, Layre, and Darick aren’t getting wet at all.
Kyran doesn’t say a word.
I decide to keep talking.
“If you don’t fully bond with your brothers, then there’s not enough strength to protect me the way you feel you need to. But, I’m the one who is in control. So you’re wondering why do you need to protect me when I can protect myself.”
“Beautiful and smart,” Layre says.
“Dangerous,” Seth adds.
“And you wonder why our cocks are going rampant right now,” Darick says.
I look at Darick and grin.
I’ve never had this kind of power over one guy, let alone four… and these aren’t guys or even men, these are vampires. Seven foot tall hunks of muscle and fang. And they’re somehow under my control. They all want me so desperately that they would die for me.
Well, maybe except Kyran.
“But what I want to know is this,” I say, “What happens next? Do I choose one of you? Am I looking for a mate or something?”
“No, Astrid,” Kyran says. He moves his hand from my hip where I placed it. “There is no choosing. Not with us. We don’t do choosing. We do taking.”
“We’re yours, sweet angel,” Seth says in that deep voice.
“Willing to forever share your body,” Layre says.
“Watching each other and joining in to fill you with everything we have,” Darick says.
I hate that I’m trying to be tough here with Kyran, yet they all keep making me blush. My panties feel twisted and pulled tight against my slit, but that’s just the wetness. And not from the rain that Kyran has falling on me and him. This is almost too much to take. Maybe I’m better off letting them fuck me senseless and then be destroyed by whatever forces they’re concerned about.
At least I’d get them all, right?
Seth, Darick, and Layre step into the rain.
“We voted,” Seth says, “For the request Kyran has. The truth about why you found him face down on the floor when you first woke up here.”
I swallow hard. “Okay.”
Darick walks around me. I can feel him an inch away from my back. Seth is on my left. Layre is on my right. I’m facing Kyran. I feel their bodies. I smell them. Their auras are soft, lingering, the colors smashing all around me. I’m breathless, yet I feel as though I’m breathing the best air ever. I don’t know how to explain it. It’s like rising from the dead, which I’ve already done.
I would only ever suggest doing that if you know for sure that four delicious vampires will be there to save you when you die…
“Well, spit it out then,” I say to Kyran.
I’m hiding all my lust filled feelings for the four of them. The way I love Kyran for his sadness and the way I love Darick for his outlawness. The other two… I’m there… but I don’t know why yet.
Kyran touches my face. Fingertips stroke my cheek.
“I need you,” Kyran says.
“For what?”
“I need to say goodbye to Allison.”
8.
“What are you talking about?” I ask.
“If I can see her one last time and know…” Kyran flashes his fangs at me.
“I don’t understand,” I say. “How?”
“Your blood,” Seth says. “Pure. It might work.”
“You can’t take my blood, I thought,” I say.
“With fangs, we can’t,” Layre whispers.
“What does that mean?” I ask.
I feel movement from behind me. Darick reaches forward beyond me and I see he’s handing off a knife to Kyran.
I gasp.
“I saw you sleeping in the bed,” Kyran says. “Beautiful angel. Sweet angel. Dark angel. Everything we’ve been looking for since our existence came to be. You were in the middle of the road, your body twisted, your clothes ripped and bloody. The name tag sticker on your breast. Astrid. Just speaking your name makes us all feel more powerful. We carried you, sweet angel, to right here. We took care of you, day into night, night into day. When I touched you, I felt something I’d only felt once before. The feeling when I touched…”
“Say her name,” I whisper. “Or I won’t help you.”
“When I touched Allison,” Kyran says.
The water picks up speed, falling from an invisible cloud above us.
I look left to right and see that Seth and Layre are soaked. I assume that behind me Darick is too.
“I felt the same thing,” Kyran says. “And I couldn’t stop touching you and feeling it. I thought maybe your destiny was my destiny. But that’s not true. When I had my chance alone with you… I tried to see if I could get to her.”
“What happened?” I ask.
“I tried to cut your arm open,” Kyran says. “You healed up before blood could spill. I never saw anything like that before. You got angry too. Your eyes opened for a second and I saw every fire of hell burning. Then you swung your left hand and hit me so hard, you knocked me out.”
“I did that?” I ask.
“You have no idea how powerful you really are, Astrid,” Darick says from behind me.
I feel his breath and I shiver.
“You did that,” Kyran says.
“So why would it work now?” I ask.
“Because you’re going to offer it to him,” Seth says.
“If you want,” Layre says.
“Meaning…”
“You’re going to give me your blood so I can go back to Allison one last time,” Kyran says. “I can tell her goodbye. And then I fully bond with my brothers to protect you.”
“That’s what you voted on?” I ask. “I thought I had the power.”
“You do, angel,” Seth says. “You can say no. What we voted on was to break a rule that will leave us banished into the darkness of hell for eternity.”
“Oh,” I say. “That doesn’t sound so bad.”
Layre laughs. “You’re fucking sexy, Astrid. But this is serious. To go back and alter what’s happened… to put Kyran in the state he was before changing… it’s unheard of. This life is a curse. The allure of a vampire is for books and movies. The reality is hell. If we all had the chance to go back to what we were before…”
“You’d stay that way,” I say.
“Plenty would,” Layre says. “And you can’t say yes or no until you’re there.”
“There are consequences though,” Seth says. “The risk is great. Changing back means you’re vulnerable to death. And you can’t be changed again.”
“Meaning you die for real,” I say, looking at Kyran.
“And if that happens, babe,” Darick says from behind me, “then our bond is worth shit. And you’re exposed.”
“I’m not afraid,” I say. “I’m strong enough. Powerful enough.”
“You don’t know what that means yet,” Layre says.
I look at Layre. “Are you going to doubt me?”
He raises an eyebrow and grins. “I love when you get tough, Astrid.”
“I’m going to do it,” I say. “For you, Kyran. Yes.”
“I knew you’d do that,” Kyran says. “I almost hate it.”
“Then don’t do it, brother,” Darick says.
“It needs to be done,” Seth says.
“I agree,” I say. “How do we do it though?”
“Your blood and my memory,” Kyran says.
“We only try a little,” Darick says. “We don’t want to hurt her.”
“We took our vote,” Seth says. “There’s nothing
else to discuss. This is up to Astrid.”
“I already said I would do this,” I say.
“I need a moment alone with her,” Kyran says.
“We’ll go get everything ready then,” Layre says.
Seth and Layre walk away. Darick hesitates before he kisses the top of my head and walks away. He’s not happy about this, but I don’t really care. I know his darkest secrets and now I’m going to experience Kyran’s.
We stand there in silence for a few moments. The rain above us has let up some. It’s now a steady drizzle.
“I took advantage of you,” Kyran says. “While you were sleeping.”
“You were punished.”
“I took advantage of your emotions when I took you to my garden.”
“So you feel as though you’ve tricked me into agreeing to this?”
“Yes.”
“Was that your plan?”
“Maybe,” Kyran says.
“I respect your honesty. But you’re forgetting something important.”
“What’s that?” he asks.
I smirk. “I have no heart. So I don’t know if I can even feel. So your theory is bogus.”
“I don’t really care whether it’s bogus or not.”
“You only care about seeing Allison.”
His face writhes in pain again. He steps forward, his body gently touching mine. “It’s not the way you think though, Astrid. You have everything of me. But to complete this bond, I have to do this. The one thing I never got to do before in my life.”
“Which is why I’m agreeing to it,” I say. I reach for his face. “And you’re wasting my time now by whining.”
Kyran curls his lip. “What’s going to happen is that I’m going to channel the last memory I have of her. Darick will help me find that place. Then you’re going to offer your blood to the memory, and its pureness and strength is going to take us there so I can do what I have to do.”
“I’m going with you.”
“Yes, Astrid. I can’t go without you.”
Kyran’s hands touch my hips and he drives me back against the mirror. He lowers his mouth to mine and we kiss. It’s the hottest and saddest kiss I’ve ever felt. My body is aching and turned on, yet there’s the lingering of tragedy that pours through me.
“To do this right,” Kyran whispers, his lips barely touching mine. “We need to feel each other together. We need to channel passion. We need to find a sense of love.”
“Between us,” I say.
“Yes.”
“Okay. Then take me. Take me right now, Kyran. Take me to your pain. Take me to your pleasure. Take my body as though you control it.”
I open my arms against the wall and the mirror. I put my head back and stare up into the rain that falls. When my head touches the glass of the mirror it acts as though it’s water. My head dips into the mirror with a lavender warmth.
I think about screaming, but I’m comforted.
And my mouth is full and I can’t breathe.
9.
I stand in the room wearing a heavy robe that’s so comfortable that I feel like falling asleep right then and there. Darick is crouched, his back against a wall, looking annoyed. Layre is gently pacing while Seth stands stoic, his eyes never leaving mine. Kyran is on the bed on his knees, shirtless, waiting for me.
All they’ve done is talk about how to do this. That tells me they don’t know what they’re doing. Which I could understand, because I’m reminded over and over that this is the biggest rule they could break. That in our state of death, the only punishment is banishment into the deepest parts of hell. Where it’s ice cold for years and then burning hot for years. Where there’s nothing but darkness and the haunting screams of every bad memory that plays out, which is then the only attempted interaction you will have. And this lasts for eternity. The devil feeds off the pain, the hate, the fear, and it never ends.
Yet I’m still going to do it.
For Kyran.
Because of how I feel for him. Even if it does make Darick mad at me. At least Darick shows emotion toward me. I know Layre is nervous and I vow he will have his time with me. Same with Seth, who is tall and patient.
I open the robe and let it fall to the floor.
I’m naked.
Darick quickly stands up, hissing as his fangs show. All of them are showing their fangs. I consider this the equivalent of being catcalled by guys when they think you look pretty or whatever. The four vampires puff up with muscle and need. I can smell them and I can somehow feel the way they’re reacting to me standing there naked. The way their deepest desires want to ravage me. They want to throw me to the bed and have their way over and over, never letting up. Which is exactly what’s running through my head.
I fight the urges away and walk toward the bed. I climb up on my knees. I feel powerful and sexy. I’ve never felt like this before.
Kyran is waiting, knife in hand.
He nods at me.
I put my hands to the bed and crawl forward now. I then pause and wait there. On my hands and knees. My ass in the air. My hair in my face.
I feel Kyran touch my back, his fingers running down my spine. He keeps going, making me shiver until the tips of his fingers graze my desire. I feel his temptation to slam those thick and long fingers into me, but he takes his hand away. He repeats the same move with the tip of the knife. It’s cold and threatening as it slides against my skin. All the way down to the small of my back and he takes it away.
“Now,” he whispers.
I lower down to the bed and turn to my side.
Kyran lowers down and wraps an arm around me, pulling my bare back to his bare chest. I shiver and bite my lip. I want him. So bad.
I see the knife in his right hand as he lets out a breath.
“Okay,” Darick’s voice says. “Channel that memory. That last one. Both of you close your eyes.”
I listen to Darick.
It’s silent for a little bit until I hear the faint sound of crackling. Fire crackling. The popping from wood burning. It starts to get louder. I hear groans. Sad and painful groans. It’s Kyran’s voice. The memory is coming alive.
“Do it now,” Darick’s voice says.
I force myself not to open my eyes. I don’t want to see anything. I know I’m going to feel it though.
“I’m sorry, Astrid,” Kyran whispers to me.
I feel the knife touch my belly and I gasp.
“Now or never,” Darick says.
I find Kyran’s wrist and clamp my hand tight around it.
I force him to cut me with the knife.
10.
I open my eyes and I’m on the grass in Kyran’s garden. The beautiful and bright green grass. I hurry to my knees and look down at my stomach. My skin is smooth and perfect. I’m still naked though. It’s weird how I remember feeling uncomfortable taking my clothes off just to take a shower, but here I am always running around naked. All because of Seth, Layre, Kyran, and Darick.
“Kyran?” I whisper. “Where are you?”
I get to my feet and look around.
The air smells so clean and fresh. It smells so alive. Very different than the last time I was in the garden. Everything is fully bloomed too. The colors are almost overwhelming. There’s a thick patch of sunflowers that make me smile. Bees are buzzing wildly, diving into flowers to drink the nectar. I can almost see splashes of orange liquid as the flowers are that full and nourishing.
I shuffle my feet along the grass and it feels like a carpet.
There’s a very narrow path ahead of me that I approach. I don’t know where I am in the garden or where I should go next. So I choose the path. Why not? I’m not sure if I’m supposed to find Kyran or just wait this out. I don’t know how I’m supposed to get back to the others and out of this memory. I remember everything they said. How in this memory and this realm we can die again. And if that happens, there is no changing again. We are nothing but normal, and normal means death kisses your shoulder wit
h each passing second as a reminder that one day, it’s going to get you and win.
I reach for the flowers and they quickly part themselves left and right, opening the narrow path for me to walk through.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
When I walk through the path, the flowers return to their normal position.
There’s another opening and I see the black stones that make up the path I’ve seen before. Those are the black stones that Kyran demanded I walk on, even though I didn’t.
I step forward and bite my lip as I reach with my left foot, wanting to touch my toe to the black stone.
That’s when I see someone step on the stone first.
I gasp and jump back.
Don’t worry, it’s not those big black boots I’ve seen a couple times.
It’s a bare foot. A slender, bare foot, with toenails painted a bright green color.
I look forward and see a woman as she walks along the stones.
She’s beautiful. Long, brown hair that dances behind her, even though there’s no wind. She’s in a white dress that’s thin and almost see-through. She turns her head and looks right at me. Her eyes are hazel, captivating, enough that my jaw drops.
She nods at me and smiles.
Allison.
It’s Allison.
And she’s walking…
I let her take a few steps before I follow her. I stay behind her and soon there’s a larger clearing. The ground, however, is covered in thick, black ash. I stop and cover my mouth.
It’s their house. The one that was burned down by the hunters.
Then I see Kyran standing there, shirtless, his muscles throbbing with anger and sadness.
I open my mouth to say something, but Allison beats me to it.
“My love,” she calls out, her voice whispering and carrying like a gentle echo.
Kyran turns and looks at Allison.
He falls to one knee and reaches for her.
Behind him, the black ash lifts into the air. It begins to spin like a tornado but there’s no wind. It just swirls and lifts. As the bottom of the ash dissipates, I realize what’s happening. The house is beginning to reshape itself. It’s rebuilding itself within seconds.
My blood has done this? My blood allowed us into a memory? My blood made Allison able to walk again? My blood rebuilt Kyran’s house?