by Autumn Dawn
Change scared her, and this felt like she was standing on the edge of a cliff, with someone poking a stick at her back. She didn’t want to fall.
She couldn’t think. Her world had tilted on its axis, tipping her little boxes of perceived notions and spilling the contents. She tried to pick up the pieces, but they were hopelessly scattered. For years he’d never acted like he desired her. He hadn’t looked at her as if she meant anything special. Tonight he’d flirted with her, kissed her again. Immaculate Azor had let her throw cream at him and squirt him with water.
She took a deep breath to calm herself. She was too unsettled to arrive at any conclusions right now. Maybe she should find a distraction. Zone out. She didn’t have to know all the answers right now.
The practical idea calmed her. She left her room, keeping a wary eye out for Azor. After that last kiss, she was afraid of what he could persuade her to do.
She needed a cop to police her cop. Not that he was really hers, of course…she rubbed her head and resolved not to think about it. The man was giving her a headache.
CHAPTER 9
She had a key to the living area of her sister’s suite. Her nephew Baden looked up with a guilty expression as she walked in. He had a ping-pong paddle in his hand and, after a moment, a hopeful expression on his face. “Will you play with me, Aunt Brandy? Mom is taking a nap with the baby and Kaden is in time out. Dad said I had to go to bed, too, but maybe I could stay up if you’d watch me.”
“So what you’re saying is you sneaked out of bed, right?” She didn’t bother to ask what Kaden had done this time. She didn’t need to know.
“Right,” Baden said, making no bones about it.
She smiled. She dearly loved that kid. “Where is your father? Why doesn’t he play with you?”
“He’s going to nap with Mom,” Baden said in disgust. “I’m never going to nap when I’m a grown up.”
Brandy felt reluctant amusement. She understood what grown up naps entailed. No doubt it was the reason for Gem’s plethora of children.
Well, that was fine. She could use the distraction of playing babysitter. “Okay, where’s my paddle?” The game was a virtual projection over the dining room table. While the paddles were real, the ball was a sparkly blue hologram that exploded in a shatter of light when struck. It was one of the boy’s favorite games.
She squared off against him, taking it easy with her shots. The kid did pretty good, though.
He talked the whole time. “I beat Uncle Azor last time.”
“Hm.” She didn’t want to talk about Uncle Azor.
“Are you fighting?” Baden asked as he watched her go after a stray ball. The kid had always been observant.
“Something like that.” Denying it would only lead to more questions. Evasiveness and kids didn’t mix. Besides, he fought with his brother all the time. “Kind of like you and Kaden do.” Well, there was a difference, but it might help him clam up.
He looked thoughtful. “Mom said you guys fight like you’re already an old married couple.”
Her eyes narrowed. She knew where her romantic sister’s thoughts were most likely going. “Your mama is speculating on risky funds, pup. I wouldn’t listen to her. Marriage is icky,” she said, knowing he’d instantly agree.
“Yeah. Kissing girls is gross,” Baden said with disgust. “I’m never getting married.”
“Good plan,” she agreed, then sent a quick shot his way. She was through being nice to the little inquisitor. She soon relented, though. It helped that he stopped quizzing her about her love life. Besides, he was just a kid.
She purposely missed a few balls just to watch him crow with delight. It was fun to tease him, and took the edge off her tension. After a few matches she was feeling better, almost relaxed. It made her think that simply enjoying herself with the kids would be her wisest move. It was hard to play and worry at the same time.
Being with her nephew also made her realize that she was wasting her time by hiding in her room. Much as she’d needed the down time, she’d soon be separated from her family by a vast distance. It made her heart ache, and her vision suddenly fogged.
“What’s the matter?” Baden asked, noting her distraction. “Are you tired?”
“Yeah,” she said gruffly. “I’m tired. Maybe we should snuggle on the couch and watch some TV.”
“Sure. How about Mega Monsters From Another Galaxy? I love that show.” He was already heading for the remote.
“Sure.” She let him turn the view screen on and snuggled with him under a blanket, their feet propped up on an ottoman. Now this was more like it. Maybe she just needed to snuggle more often. Too bad she couldn’t smuggle the kid along for the ride. He’d probably love it.
She leaned her head back, content. Maybe it was time to revaluate her priorities. When was the last time a business meeting had left her feeling this relaxed? Maybe the secret to happiness really was a snuggle buddy and a cartoon. She let her eyes drift shut as she pondered the theory…
Azor was early for his meeting with Blue, but he let himself into their suite anyway. Like Brandy, he had an extra key. Gem always stocked the best snacks, and he knew he was welcome to help himself.
Besides, he was tired of thinking about Brandy’s reaction to the Kiuyian family they’d seen earlier. It was obviously what she wanted for herself, and he felt angry with M’acht every time he thought about it. He could have at least given her a child.
He shut the door and spotted Brandy and her nephew snoozing on the couch. She was sitting up, her head back against the sofa, her mouth slightly open. He thought it was Baden who had his head resting on her thigh, snuggled under the blanket. He must have been too warm, for his hair looked damp with sweat.
Their movie was still going, but nobody was watching, so he clicked it off and flicked the cover off the kid before he drowned in his own sweat. He studied the pair, noting the faint family resemblance. She’d make a good mother, he thought, and wondered again what had happened with her marriage.
He’d met M’acht a few times and thought he was a decent guy, though not as seasoned as he could be. Now he wondered if that had been the whole problem; M’acht was simply too green to handle a woman like her.
He thought about it as he went in search of a snack. Someone had left a tightly wrapped sandwich in the fridge, so he appropriated it, along with a drink. He ate it standing, leaning against the counter as he watched the napping duo.
Brandy wouldn’t be an easy woman to live with, though most of her temper was just a cover for anxiety. She was high-strung and emotional. When he’d first investigated The Spark six years ago, she’d secretly been taking medication to quell her panic attacks. Inherently an honest woman, she’d been severely stressed from keeping so many secrets from her sister Gem.
She was also strong willed and resistant to change—witness how long it had taken to persuade her to leave Polaris. M’acht had been prone to letting her have her own way.
He had to wonder whose idea it had been to get married. He’d been involved in an investigation at the time and hadn’t thought too much about it, but everyone knew it had been quick. He’d never asked Blue for details, since it hadn’t been his place. At the time, he hadn’t been too interested. He wouldn’t mind some answers now.
Blue finally emerged from his room, looking relaxed, but not the least bit sleepy. He noticed his son and Brandy curled on the couch and gestured for Azor to follow him. “I’ve got at least a half hour to work out before they wake up,” Blue said once they were in the hall. “How about a game of rackets?”
Azor found an opportunity to question Blue as they batted an energy ball back and forth over a virtual net. In between friendly insults, he worked his question casually into the conversation. “I’ve been wondering why Brandy’s marriage was so short.”
Blue grunted as he dived for a ball. It sizzled as it hit his racket and zipped over the net. “If you ask me, he spoiled her. The Harrisdaughters are not the sort of women
you let run ahead of you. He was always two laps behind.”
Azor smirked. “You never told your wife that.”
“And I never will. It takes an agile mind to outfox her. Having kids helped. She settled some.”
“Which is why I wondered. I’d have thought Brandy would at least have had kids. Seems like it would’ve mellowed her.”
“Yeah, you’d think. Worked for her sisters, anyway. Why? You thinking of reproducing?” Blue teased. “You’d better get busy. You two aren’t getting any younger.”
Azor gave him a quelling stare. “You in a hurry to see a fast marriage for her again? Didn’t work so well the last time.”
Blue caught the ball, but didn’t hit it back. He looked seriously at Azor. “They were too green. You know how Polaris is. They don’t give their youth any information about what goes on in the marriage bed, just throw them together and assume it will sort itself out. If there are problems, they don’t know any better. They got counseling, I heard, but not the right kind.”
Azor frowned. “So you’re saying…what? That M’acht had problems?” Impotence, nerves, a quick draw…it could have been anything, but Blue was keeping M’acht’s secrets. Azor could respect that, and what Blue had said did shed some light on the issue.
If part of the problem had been sexual, then he had no worries. Neither he nor Blue had originally been from Polaris. He was neither inexperienced nor uneducated. There were other things, though. “Was there a lot of fighting that you knew of? I know M’acht didn’t come from the most stable background.” His mother had died young and his father was an abusive loser. His younger brother had been in and out of juvie. Sometimes a man could overcome it, sometimes he didn’t.
Blue sighed. “I never saw much of it, but with Brandy, I wouldn’t doubt it. She’d have tried to change him, I’m sure, and she wouldn’t have been patient about it. I love the girl like family, but with her temperamental personality, I’m glad she’s not my wife.”
Azor shrugged. “Most of it’s just anxiety. It’d go away with enough reassurance, maybe a strong, steady husband. It probably would have helped if her father had lived. She’s a bit spoiled.”
Blue looked surprised. “You sound like you’ve got her figured out.”
“I’ve had plenty of time to work on the profile,” Azor said mildly. “Your wife, though, I still don’t understand.”
“Good. I’m not sharing the secrets, either,” Blue said with a grin. “Speaking of which, I want to join her for dessert, so let’s finish up. I’ve got better things to do than sit around discussing your sorry love life.”
Brandy’s mind was on the pink sand path ahead of her. Like the boys, she’d chosen to carry her sandals, marveling at the unfamiliar texture of little bitty grains under her feet. It felt rather nice, warm and soothing, though she knew she’d have to put her sandals back on soon. Without her special shoes, her poor, deformed feet ached fiercely. Going barefoot was a luxury she couldn’t afford.
It wasn’t as if she spent gobs of time outside in the sand, though. Much of her work was done indoors. At the moment, that seemed a shame.
Pink and maroon ferns lined the path, reflecting the color of the sand. Huge yellow flowers soared higher than she could reach, hosting tiny birds that flittered from bloom to bloom. Everywhere was green…man-tall sea grass, the green-tinged sky, Azor’s eyes….
She frowned as she realized that Azor had stepped in front of her, blocking her path. Where had he come from? She hadn’t seen him when they began this expedition or she would have taken better care to avoid him. She glanced around him and saw her family round a bend and disappear beyond a wall of sea grass. She opened her mouth to reprimand him—and abruptly found herself lifted and perched on a handy coral colored boulder. She glowered at him. “You have an excellent reason, for this, I presume? I was about to be attacked by a poisonous reptile, right?”
He was not amused. “We’re going to talk.”
She glanced around, but there was nothing to hit him with, and her sandals wouldn’t do much damage. Nor could she slide off the boulder, not with him standing so close to her, deliberately blocking her way.
Not that she thought she could really get away. The man was known for his patience, but also his determination. He’d waited until now; chosen his time, and they were going to talk. She didn’t have to like it.
She noted that he was wearing a black tank top and khaki canvas shorts. She’d never seen him in sandals, either. If asked, she might have said she wasn’t sure he even had toes. Not only did he, but he seemed to have four toes per foot. It looked fine, normal, even, if having four digits there could be considered ordinary. Come to think of it, she’d never seen M’acht’s feet. “Is that normal?” she asked, pointing to his feet. It was an unabashed attempt to stall.
He ignored the question to ask one of his own. “How did you know I was Azure?” When her expression turned stormy, he said matter of factly, “I’ve been wondering.”
She glanced away, down the path. It was empty of distractions, so she sent him a cool look. “It was your clothes. They were the same ones from that night. Careless of you.” She did not like thinking about that night. It was embarrassing, at best. Infuriating at worst. He was a fool to bring it up. He should have just tried to let her forget about it.
Okay, so that wouldn’t have happened, she privately admitted. She didn’t think she’d ever forget, but she didn’t want to rehash her behavior, either. Not that his was so pretty, either. After all, he’d been the one posing as a stripper.
He nodded. “I didn’t have much time.” He looked at her thoughtfully. “I might’ve still been buzzing a little from that kiss.”
She stared at him in silence, trying to judge the truth of his statement. He wasn’t a man given to jokes, or lies. “You weren’t,” she said, but she kind of hoped it was true. It would make her feel better about her own reaction to him. It might be ill judged, but at least it wouldn’t be one-sided.
His jaw tightened and his face shifted. The hair grew lighter, white-gray. His skin darkened to a tan unseen in a man who worked nights and spent the rest of his time in an office.
She had never witnessed him shift. The transformation was the last thing she expected, and the most numbing. Here was the face of the man who had wronged her. Or was it? After all, Azor could be anyone he wanted. With that face, he could have any woman he wanted, too. It made her realized just how badly he’d crushed her hopes; dreams she could barely even admit to herself.
“Why would you do that?” she said finally, softly. Her throat was too tight for anything else.
Those telltale Kiuyian green eyes flicked down, and she was reminded that she’d only seen him in dim light. She couldn’t have known what color his eyes were. Besides, some humans had green eyes, too.
“I was trying to comfort you. You never trusted me as Azor—“
She made a derisive sound.
“—but you were willing to give Azure a chance. I’m not such a bad guy, you know. I felt bad for what you went through. I’ll admit my strategy this time wasn’t well thought out, though.”
“You enticed me to go to a strip club!” she said in disbelief. “I was almost arrested!”
He straightened. “If you’ll recall, you went to a great deal of trouble to meet me. I never invited you.”
His reasonable tone made her temper soar. “You didn’t have to kiss me! What was that for?” Had he just been playing a role? But no, he’d tried to drive her away at first. He wanted her to believe he was no good.
He looked over her shoulder, his eyes moving as if reviewing a memory. When he looked back, his expression was unrepentant, hard. “I wanted to, after what you said. You surprised me.”
She’d surprised him? She thought back to what she’d said, but could only recall wishing him well. She didn’t think she’d said anything special.
Since he was proving horribly difficult to argue with, she searched for something to keep the fight going,
though so far he wasn’t holding his weight there. He was so irritatingly logical, allowing her to invest all the emotion. He was throwing her off balance, messing with her head in a bad way, especially since he stood there shamelessly wearing Azure’s face. “Blue knows about this?” Of course she knew he understood the basics of what went on that night, but did he know the intimate details? She blushed at the idea of him snooping.
He canted his head in acknowledgment. “I was wearing a communicator. He was my backup.”
Oh, that was embarrassing! Her sister witnessing a kiss would have been one thing, but her brother in law? Ugh! “And do you always pose as an exotic dancer? Why did they even let you up there….” She colored as the memory of him on stage flashed through her mind. That couldn’t have been his first time, not with the way he moved.
His lips curved dangerously. “It was my cover. I made several arrests through that club.”
“Posing as an illegal…guy,” she finished lamely. It didn’t come out as accusing as she’d like, not when she’d been in the audience, watching said guy. She averted her eyes. This was truly horrible! How could Azure be Azor? His name meant Blue! If anything, she’d been too busy keeping him separate in her mind from her brother in law to connect him to the chilly Kiuyian.
“I do whatever it takes to get the job done,” he said. “Becoming my alias is natural after a while.”
Right. Natural. She slid off the boulder and he obligingly moved away, now that his little talk was over. He even shifted back to his normal face.
She intended to pace, but only managed a couple of stiff steps before she had to stop and don her sandals. Besides, she couldn’t think with him there; she needed space. She looked blindly down the path. “I’m going to join my sister. You’re not invited.” She took one step before he grabbed her hand.