by Tasha Fawkes
He shrugs and glares at me. “I get you’re upset about what we spoke about, but man up and put that aside. You can't walk in there like this. You need to pull yourself together, or I’ll do this myself.”
“Why pull myself together?” I sneer. “I'm just going to fall to pieces anyway, right? It’s what I do best, fuck everything up and it’s probably why you’re sending me in there. To fail.”
“Rex,” he says, shaking his head.
He looks at me with pity, like I’m the one with the problem. When he places his hand on my shoulder, it takes everything in me not to turn around and snap it off.
“Fuck you,” I say as I stalk past him and into that room.
I stand at the front of the conference room, spinning off the top of my head the list of reasons why Denton will benefit from this merger as much as we will. The problem is, the alcohol last night has made my memory hazy, so I’m struggling to remember the speech I’d prepared. Not that it matters, because even as I say what I do remember, I'm not feeling any of it. And if I don't believe in what I'm saying, why would they? This whole meeting is a joke. And the worst thing? She’s there, watching me stumble through this nightmare.
I meet her eyes, feeling sick when I see how concerned she looks. She nods encouragingly and smiles at me in a way, but her eyes give her away. My heart pounds, because what must she be thinking? Everyone else, I don’t care, but her…
I can’t handle her disappointment too.
I frown as an overwhelming emptiness fills me. The look in her eyes, the love in her expression, it’s killing me that I'm never going to see that again when she finds out the truth. She's risked everything, she’s put everything on the line, and for what? To be part of a revenge plot against her grandfather? That will go down well. She trusted I promised her that what she did wouldn’t be made public, but I can't be sure what will happen after this merger. I have no idea, and who knows what else is hidden that is just waiting to be discovered.
I hunch forward, trying to stop the explosive combination of anxiety and drinking related nausea that is fighting my stomach. Then, the panic kicks in, and all hell breaks loose. I laugh, because this is fucking ridiculous. I'm having a full on, legitimate panic attack, in the middle of a goddamn presentation.
“Sorry, but I have a question if that’s okay?”
Frowning, I look up at the person speaking. He sits next to Shana, on the right hand side of the table. His dark eyes burn through mine as he prepares his question in his mind.
“Would I be right in saying that this merger attempt has something to do with a thirty-year-old feud that your grandfather had with Eric Denton?” he asks. He raises his eyebrows and waits for me to answer. I stare at him, my heart racing as I process what he just said.
Oh God no. Not now. Not like this. My eyes dart to Shana. She looks confused as she stares at me, her eyes searching mine for answers. She wants reassurance that what he’s saying isn’t the case, but I can’t give it to her. So I look away.
In one split second, I can feel our entire relationship collapsing around me. She stands up abruptly and rushes for the door. I jolt forward, ready to run after her, but Matt steps forward and puts his arm out to stop me. He shakes his head slightly.
“Let her cool off,” he says softly. I nod stiffly, even though I know that’s not going to help.
“Excuse me?”
I turn my attention back to the same man who asked the question and frown at him. I’d forgotten about him. He puts his hand down and clears his throat.
“Yes…” My voice trails off.
“Simon,” he supplies.
“Yes, Simon?” I say, unable to keep the coolness out of my voice.
“I think I speak for everyone here when I say that none of us really care what's driving this merger.” He pauses and glances outside at Shana, who is pacing the hallway. “Well, nearly everyone. My point is, we just want to be kept in the loop if we go ahead and help you. We don’t like having things kept from us.”
“Nobody does,” I murmur.
His words resonate with me more than I want to admit, because I should’ve done that with Shana. If I’d been upfront and honest with her, she might still be sitting in this room.
“The fact is, we don’t have the confidence in James Denton's ability to take this company forward. So, for that reason, we want this merger to happen, regardless of the reasoning behind it.”
I frown and glance at Matt. He nods and steps forward, looking around the room. While I’m glad that my part of this is over, I wasn’t expecting it to be quite that easy. I thought I was dead in the water, but apparently they needed no convincing at all.
“Our first proposal is forcing James Denton into early retirement,” Matt begins. “For this to work, we need him to relinquish control of the company. If majority calls for it, he’ll be required to step down at immediate effect.” He pauses for a moment, studying every face. “Together, you have the majority vote right here, but you all need to be in, or this won’t work. We get one shot at this, because if you’re not successful? He’s going to know exactly who is against him.”
“Does that majority vote include Shana?” Simon, I think his name is, asks.
I glance at Matt for his response.
“No,” he says, shaking his head. “We already accounted for her remaining loyal to her father.”
I follow Matt over to the side of the room, while we give them a moment to discuss.
Matt glances at me, a ghost of a smile on his lips. I'm thinking the same thing. That was too easy. Simon gets up and walks over to me, extending his hand. I take it, shaking it firmly. Then, he turns to Matt and shakes his hand.
“I’m looking forward to working with you and seeing what you can do with this company,” he says. “Because in the end, that's all we want. Movement forward instead of back.”
“Me too,” I mutter.
I walk out of the room and stalk down to the front of the building to get some fresh air. I drag my phone out of my pocket and try calling her, but she won't answer. Not that I'm surprised.
I send her a text, begging for her to hear me out, but she doesn't reply to that. I’m feeling upset and depressed, because the only thing I care about is gone. I turn and walk toward my car. I fucked this up. I've messed it all up completely, and there isn’t a goddamn thing I can do about it. Nothing matters anymore.
If only it was that simple
Sixteen
Shana
Oh God, what have I done?
I pace back and forth in my office, my breathing shallow. Tears roll down my cheeks. I'm an absolute mess. I’ve fucked up big time and there is no going back from here. Everything I thought I knew is wrong, but none of that matters, because he lied to me.
This was all just a game to him. I laugh bitterly, because I can't believe that I actually believed he felt something for me. I should've trusted my gut. It told me to run from Rex, but I didn't and now I'm humiliated, like a lovesick schoolgirl. He loves me? Bullshit. It was lies. All lies. I sit down and bury my head on the desk. I wish I knew what to do from here. I can't trust anything anyone says to me.
My thoughts are interrupted by a knock on the door. I stand up, panicked, and I wipe my eyes. I know I must look a mess. I can't let anyone see me like this.
God, what if it's my father?
“Shana, I’m coming in.”
My heart races as Rex's muffled voice floats through the room. I stiffen as he walks in. His eyes meet mine and I glare at him, the need to vent my anger becoming harder and harder to suppress. I stare at him, my arms crossed over my chest, with a frown on my lips.
“What are you doing here?” I say.
“I want to talk to you.”
“I don’t care what you want, Rex. Leave.”
“Not until you listen to me,” he refuses stubbornly.
He moves across the room in my direction. I step back, not enjoying his close proximity.
“Just leave me alone,”
I plead. “Just go. There’s nothing you can say that's going to fix this, so why bother?” I ask. I stalk around to my desk and sit down. “You’re no better than your dead grandfather,” I add. As soon as the words leave my mouth, I regret them.
I stare at him, my heart racing. He frowns and sits down opposite me, his expression faltering.
“If my grandfather was an asshole, it’s because your grandfather turned him into one. He stole his company, his wife, his whole life,” he replies.
“I’d rather be like my grandfather, than yours,” I mutter. Then I laugh. Why am I even entertaining him? “I'm sorry, but get the hell out of my office or I will call security.”
“Shana, please—” he says.
“Now,” I demand, my body shaking. “Go,” I cry, when he doesn’t move.
For fuck’s sake, why can’t he take a hint and give me some damn space?
I get to my feet, my anger rising. I’ll chase him out if I have to. I could kill him for doing this to me.
“What are you doing here?” I ask him softly.
“I just want to talk to you,” he whispers.
“But I don't want to hear it, Rex. What about what I want, or don’t you care?”
“All I want is a few minutes so I can explain myself,” he mumbles.
“Don’t you get it? There is no explaining this,” I growl. “You lied to me. You hurt me, and you don't get to do that more than once. Just go. Please.”
He sighs and hunches over, looking defeated as he trudges to the door. Then he turns around and walks out. I breathe out, my heart racing. I’m so churned up that I feel sick. Then I remember dinner with Ash.
Shit!
I text her and briefly explain what happened, then ask to make it another day. She’s sympathetic, which I knew she would be. It’s one of the great things about her.
I head straight home after work, despite needing some things from the store. The only thing I’m really going to miss tonight is the wine. And maybe it’s a good thing if that’s out of my reach. When I get home, I walk straight to the bedroom and lay down, snuggling under the covers.
Maybe if I close my eyes and fall asleep, I can forget this ever happened?
I smile a tiny smile, because that sounds so good.
The banging on the door wakes me up. I glance at my phone and frown. It's not even eight o'clock. I must've been fallen asleep after all, which means I’ll be up half the night.
I swing open the door, hoping to God I don’t find Rex on the other side. I smile when I see Ash. I throw my arms around her.
“You came over,” I say.
She shrugs. “Of course I did. After they day you’ve had, I thought you could use some company.”
“Thanks.” I smile. “And you brought wine,” I gasp, spotting the bottle she has tucked under her arm. She laughs and hands it to me. “I’ve never known anyone to be so happy to see a bottle of wine.” Her expression turns serious. “I’m sorry Rex turned out to be an ass. Want to talk about it?”
I frown, not really wanting to go into it right now with anyone. I just want to forget it ever happened.
“You’ll feel better if you get it off your chest,” she prods gently.
Maybe she’s right.
“Okay,” I say.
I take a deep breath, ready to explain everything, when someone else pounds on the door. I narrow my eyes, because this time I'm fairly certain that's going to be Rex. I think about just not answering, but then I change my mind. I stalk over to the door and swing it open. Sure enough, he stands there, staring softly at me.
“We need to talk about this,” he murmurs.
“There's nothing to talk about,” I say, throwing my hands up. “I was hoping you got that message already.”
“Please, Shana. I don't want this to mess things up between us.”
I laugh and glare at him. “Oh, don’t worry, you already did that all on your own,” I growl.
“Wait a minute,” he says. He reaches out, putting his hand on my arm. “You’re going to listen to me. One way or the other.”
“Are you threatening me?” I say with a snarl. “Not that I’m surprised.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he snaps. “If you just give me five fucking minutes then I wouldn’t need to threaten you,” he growls.
I look up as Ash approaches. She winces at me, mumbles something about an appointment, and then creeps out the door. I shake my head, annoyed. I know she thinks she’s helping, but the last thing I need is to be alone with him. Not because I can’t trust him, but because I’m not sure I can trust myself.
“This doesn't have to be over, Shana,” he whispers, frowning at me. “I love you—"
“You love me?” I say with a laugh. I glare at him. “If you really loved me, you'd have never lied to me in the first place. You really hurt me, Rex.”
He bows his head slightly.
“You know the worst bit? I don’t even really care about what our grandfathers did or why this merger is happening. What I care about is that you lied to me. This whole time, it had nothing to do with you needing my help, you just wanted to distract me.” He frowns at me and opens his mouth to respond, but I shake my head. “I won’t do this with you. Not now, not ever. You can see yourself out.”
Turning on my heel, I stalk across the room and then disappear into my bedroom, slamming the door so hard it echoes through the entire apartment. Sobbing, I collapse in a heap on my bed, the tears out of control.
Seventeen
Rex
“So that's it?” I ask, my heart racing. “It's done?”
“Congratulations,” Henry says with a curt nod. “You’ve met the requirements set out by your grandfather in his will.”
I sit in Henry's office with Matt by my side. It’s the day after the board met and agreed that James Denton should step down as CEO of Denton Industries. From what I heard, he didn't take it too well. There was a lot of arguing, but he wasn't left with much choice, since the majority of the board lacked faith in him as their leader. He went quietly in the end. I don’t know how much he knew about his daughter’s involvement, since she isn’t answering my calls.
I just hope I didn’t make this harder for her than it needed to be.
I sit forward and release a sigh, my stomach churning. I should probably be out celebrating. I should be feeling good about doing what no one thought I was capable of, or at the very least, relieved that my family wasn’t losing their inheritance because of me, but I’m not. Instead, I feel depressed, angry, and alone. I've hurt so many people in the process of this stupid takeover, that it just doesn't feel right to be gloating about it.
“Okay, then I guess that’s it,” Matt says, clasping his hands together. He stands up, and so does Henry. They both stare at me as I continue to sit there, lost in my own thoughts, until Matt leans over and slaps me on the arm. “Are you planning on sitting there all night?” he asks lightly.
I shrug. At this point, what difference would it make?
Sighing, I force myself to stand up and follow Matt and Henry out of the office. Matt turns to me and claps me hard on the back, trying to motivate me into some sort of excitement. Instead, all he does is make me wince. I glare at him, wishing he’d stop hitting me.
“I think this calls for a celebration, don't you?” he asks, smiling.
“Sure, whatever,” I mutter. The last thing I feel like doing is celebrating, but if I don’t say yes, then what’s the alternative? Going home to wallow in my sorrows? I’ll only end up thinking about her.
I follow them down to the elevator, only half listening to them chatter about useless shit I don’t really care about. In fact, I don't say anything the whole way to the bar, which is a few streets away. As we walk inside, I realize it’s the same one we were in last week, just a few blocks down from the Harris Corporation offices. I look up and frown when I see the rest of the board members are there. For some reason, I thought it was just going to be us and I could get away with d
rowning myself in my drink. Now I’m going to be forced to interact.
Wallowing at home is looking more appealing by the second.
Most of them are already drunk, celebrating the successful takeover. They cheer when I walk over. I smile politely and scan their faces, because all I can think about is how not one of them believed that I could do this.
How quickly the tables turn.
Suddenly, I'm everyone's hero, when five minutes ago, I was nothing but a joke. This whole fucking bar is full of shallow, self-involved fuckwits. Everyone here has their own agenda, and every single person is fake. Even Henry. He puts on a goddamned show every time he walks into a room. He lives for this bullshit.
Not one person here had faith in me when I needed it. Hell, not even my own family believed in me. How quick they were to turn their backs on me when they thought I couldn't succeed and now that I have, they all want a piece of me. They’re so quick to kiss my ass and tell me how amazing they think I am, but I know the truth.
“Good work, Rex,” one of the guys say, sliding a whiskey in front of me. “I knew you could do it. When they said you were leading this bid, I said to myself, there’s a guy who is going places.”
I clench my fingers around the rim of the glass, doing everything I can not to turn around and punch this lying shit bag in the face. Does he think I’m that gullible, that I’d believe that shit?
When I don’t answer, he eventually walks off, leaving me alone to fester in my anger. I glance to my left when I feel eyes on me. Matt stands a few feet away. Of course he’d be staring at me. He frowns, so I turn my seat slightly to the right so I don’t have to look at him.
I sit there, hunched over, barely interacting with anyone. Everyone else who attempts to strike up a conversation with me gets the same short, clipped answers that they deserve. I might be thanking them for their support and their congratulations, but I think we all know that I’m not swallowing what they're serving up.