by DC Bastien
"The Captain would have found some other trouble for us." Loap's tongue briefly flicked out, then back in behind his teeth. "I do not blame you for the actions of others, even if you are related to them. And you and your sister proved you were different when you sent your ships and people to retrieve us."
"I am still sorry."
"Then you can feel sorry, I cannot stop you. But you should know, too, that if there were anything to forgive, I would already have forgiven you. You and your sister will usher in a new age."
"I am seeing Eru in a new light," Kre admitted. "She has... different priorities to me, but she is a pragmatist, also. When the crisis happened, she was quick to act. And her naming me her Amanuensis means I have some power, too. I would not enact huge policy change without her consent, but it..."
"It is proof she trusts your judgement, and values your input?"
Kre nodded. "I think I can live with Amanuensis. In reality, I would rarely invoke it. It is more an honorific than an actual position of power."
"Do you think the attempts on your life will end now?"
"It depends who was staging them," she admitted. "If it is this Baudeline person, then possibly. Possibly not. If Eru were to die before she took a mate and produced an heir, then I would inherit the role of Za. So I could well be a target if they want us both removed from power – or the potential for it."
"Your people are very strange, Kre."
"Yes, they are. I assume it used to be more sensible in our ancient culture, but our repeated assassination attempts now seem... barbaric to me."
"I was not going to say it, but yes." Loap clucked his tongue in his mouth, loudly. "Will you stay to help your sister for a while?"
"I do not think she needs me," Kre confessed. "She has been preparing for years for either possibility, and I have... been busy teaching the theory of relativity and quantum mechanics."
"So you will come back aboard the Messenger?"
"I believe so. I have what I want there. I have... friends. Family. And the ability to reach disadvantaged groups."
"So you will not be writing a curriculum for others to teach?"
A loud whuff. "No. I prefer the actual act of teaching, rather than the concept in the abstract. I will continue to travel with the Captain's crew for as long as he will tolerate me."
"I'm glad to hear it." Loap leaned over, briefly squeezing her forearm. "You belong with us."
Kre swallowed at the sudden tightness in her chest, then threw caution to the wind and wrapped him in a hug worthy of Biann.
***
[Sianor: My BABIES.]
[Ashroe: Gross sobbing noises intensify.]
[Sianor: Right, I need to distract you away from our baby for a minute.]
[Ashroe: I assume you mean our story-baby and not a sudden adoptive child I now have to parent?]
[Sianor: Well, unless you count the air-plant I just got. It has googly eyes stuck on.]
[Ashroe: Our child!]
[Ashroe: What is our child called?]
[Sianor: Uhm... Lord Psynthesis.]
[Ashroe: Get out.]
[Sianor: You shouldn't put me on the spot, then.]
[Ashroe: I love our smol child Lord Psynthesis.]
[Ashroe: I want a pic so I can print it out and put it on my desk at work and when people ask me about my children I can point to it and say: look it's growing.]
[Sianor: Bwahaha. But this is serious business! Okay! Episode.]
[Ashroe: Yeah. Okay. Episode.]
[Sianor: Loap. Children.]
[Ashroe: It's so beyond out-of-character that I cannot even can with it.]
[Ashroe: Like, I'm sorry, but no. If he had kids, he would so have not abandoned them. Even if the other two parents didn't want him around, he'd have maintained contact from afar. He wouldn't just walk out and leave them.]
[Sianor: Exactly. My head is kind of spinning.]
[Ashroe: It's cheap writing, okay? Make it consistent. I don't mind if they have kids somewhere else, but don't suddenly throw in something that breaks all your previous character development.]
[Sianor: I was starting to doubt my sanity.]
[Ashroe: It's B-Smith. I didn't realise it until last night. I've had issues with his episodes since season one. He's okay when he's writing with J-Smith.]
[Sianor: But when he's on his own he tends to... well. That atrocity.]
[Ashroe: I don't even know how to wrap my head around it, okay? I'm just sort of... half-way stuck between should I a) pretend it never happened and thus live happily ever after; b) thrash some really complicated back-story out to explain why he'd run off on his little bratlings; or c) drive over to B-Smith's house and scream obscenities and throw egg plants at his car until he sees.]
[Sianor: I think d) write long meta and @ him would be smarter.]
[Ashroe: It's not like a show-runner will ever put their hands up and admit they made a mistake. It's their canon. Even if sometimes they post outright errors let alone judgement-call mistakes.]
[Ashroe: I mean honest to goodness continuity errors or logical inconsistencies on that front.]
[Sianor: Yeah. I get it.]
[Ashroe: If we hadn't personally cast Loap as the last Hale-Hale, then I can see he'd like kids. If he had the money and the job to go with it, to raise them. Or... at least know he was leaving them with one or more parent who would look after them. It's only the genetic heritage and angsty part of his backstory that we added on that makes him non-broody.]
[Sianor: Also I can't see how he'd ever like her. Him. Her. Gender wasn't clear.]
[Ashroe: Right! Noor just had no... anything to her. I guess if he was young then maybe he was foolish, but Loap doesn't seem the kind to fool around blindly as a kid.]
[Sianor: Well I really don't think we should suddenly work her into our world. I just needed to see I wasn't the only one who spit-took when they saw her.]
[Ashroe: I did more than spit-take. And I can't even come up with some way where she's lying about him being one of the parents because Loap should be able to smell the family connection? Or am I reading too much into it?]
[Sianor: Ooh, unless he wants it to be true so badly that he ignores the subtle smell difference?]
[Ashroe: Could work. Whatever. No baby-Loapodiles running around in our universe.]
[Sianor: Okay. I did think the incidental music was good this week.]
[Ashroe: They've gotten much better at that. And it was nice to see part of the ship-set we hadn't before.]
[Sianor: You mean that they hadn't built before.]
[Ashroe: Hey, breaking my suspension of disbelief much! The ship is all 'there'!]
[Sianor: You can really tell they have a better budget for this season.]
[Ashroe: I'm hoping they bring in some more of the multi-fandom guest stars. Those often bring people in for the face and then they consider staying and joining our little group.]
[Sianor: We could use some more fans! I think there's only three of us draw for it. And of course lots of fic, but... I want more cute Mesfamily art.]
[Ashroe: And vids. I want vids.]
[Ashroe: And gifsets.]
[Ashroe: And everything I can't make myself.]
[Sianor: Aaaaaart.]
[Ashroe: But you can draw.]
[Sianor: I know, but I like to see other people draw, too.]
[Ashroe: Hmmm.]
[Sianor: And I guess I am more picky when it comes to fic?]
[Sianor: Oh god do I sound like a douche?]
[Ashroe: Why?]
[Sianor: I dunno, I just wondered if it was mean to be more picky about fic.]
[Ashroe: Well... they are both art, but that's like comparing, uh... paintings to music.]
[Sianor: I guess. Like... there's genres of music I really don't like? And it doesn't mean they're bad genres.]
[Ashroe: Not at all. And art tends to be a different kind of appreciation. It's... it's one unit. Unless it's a comic strip. Like, it's telling one set moment in t
ime. And it's not – it doesn't have actions and dialogue in quite the same way?]
[Sianor: So I'm not a monster for that?]
[Ashroe: I'll be honest with you, I have met maybe... a handful of artists (fan or otherwise) whose work I hated. And many I quite enjoy. And a few I really like. But even in fiction that's published – or even like TV or movies – there's a way steeper curve. Like it is more shaped like a V than a... uh... _(^^^ ?]
[Sianor: You just graphed with... text. You seriously emjoi-graphed?]
[Ashroe: I forget you missed the biggest days of ASCII art.]
[Sianor: What's that?]
[Ashroe: You know when you go on Youtube and you look at the comments and there's copy pasted pictures made out of just text?]
[Sianor: Ohh yes.]
[Ashroe: Pre-broadband it was a bigger thing. Like you'd get it in games manuals. Or on forums. Or online walkthroughs and things.]
[Sianor: And how did people make them?]
[Ashroe: Probably by hand. I don't know. I always just took them for granted before we had reaction-gifs.]
[Sianor: That's so cool though. People making art out of characters.]
[Ashroe: Still happens, but now it's all kawaii faces and flipping tables and things instead of rendering a whole spaceship out of @#*%.]
[Sianor: And my brain mushed that into a spaceship made out of curse words.]
[Ashroe: Oh my god. The USS Dickterprise?]
[Sianor: The Millennium Hardon.]
[Ashroe: Ahaha. It's a shame there's not so many good spaceship names. I mean, you'd think there would be more. But Trek got so obsessed for so long that people only – uh, non-fans only really remember the Enterprise.]
[Sianor: I think also because the whole 'Ship Having A Personality' thing came much later people didn't always get so attached to them? In the same way.]
[Ashroe: Especially with how often they used to total them. I mean, the Falcon was a bit of an exception proving the rule.]
[Sianor: But that is one damn nice ship, you have to admit.]
[Ashroe: I do. It was my favourite spaceship for a long time. Even if there's been 'cooler' designs, since.]
[Sianor: I like Mes' design. I know she has to be atmo-friendly as well as deep space, but I like how she can change when she's out in vacuum.]
[Ashroe: That's a neat trick, actually. Only a small change, but it's very distinctive.]
[Sianor: I also love how the few background ships we see are all different kinds, too.]
[Ashroe: And I really like the fact they designed different orbital stations, as well. And went the whole hog with putting settlements on non-planets. Like asteroids and so on.]
[Sianor: Yes! And all the little satellites around a planet having their own thing going on.]
[Ashroe: Can you imagine the local sports teams? Like, having your own 'national' ones, but then 'international'... uh, 'interplanetary' or 'intersatellitery' matches?]
[Sianor: So cute.]
[Ashroe: I just love the little hints of bigger ways of seeing the world that you get. And I also like that there's still some time involved in longer journeys.]
[Sianor: Yeah, without it being impossibly generation-ship long.]
[Ashroe: Those Whales must move damn fast.]
[Sianor: I know! How do the Whales even work?]
[Ashroe: Damned if I know. There's always something you just have to suspend disbelief for, and I suppose in this fandom it's the Whales.]
[Sianor: AUGH!]
[Ashroe: What???]
[Sianor: My mom is calling... she never calls this late. I gotta... I gotta go.]
[Ashroe: Okay, email me.]
[Sianor: x]
***
Chapter Twelve – Mission: Defibrillation
from: Mandy Douglas
to: Kay
date: 23 June 2015 11:49
subject: Uhm
So Dad is in hospital.
~ Mandy
Don't mistake my kindness for weakness
----------------
from: Kay
to: Mandy Douglas
date: 23 June 2015 17:00
subject: re: Uhm
Oh no! Honey! What happened?
Sent from my comms-device.
----------------
from: Mandy Douglas
to: Kay
date: 23 June 2015 12:12
subject: re: re: Uhm
They said they think a heart attack. I mean. Yes. It was a heart attack. He's... he's okay. I think. I'm not processing it very well.
~ Mandy
Don't mistake my kindness for weakness
----------------
from: Kay
to: Mandy Douglas
date: 23 June 2015 17:20
subject: re: re: re: Uhm
Okay, he's in the hospital. That is the best place for him. Right? He's got the doctors right there. He's going to be alright. He's got you, and he's got your mum.
Sent from my comms-device.
----------------
from: Mandy Douglas
to: Kay
date: 23 June 2015 12:59
subject: re: re: re: re: Uhm
I guess. I just... Dad never gets sick. And Mom's so scared. Normally it's me sick, and maybe I'm just used to that and don't even process it, but now it's Dad and... and... Kay, I don't know what to do.
~ Mandy
Don't mistake my kindness for weakness
----------------
from: Kay
to: Mandy Douglas
date: 23 June 2015 18:09
subject: re: re: re: re: Uhm
Just breathe. Alright? Uh... did they ever teach you things to relax yourself? I know it's crappy that he's sick, but he IS in the hospital now. And they will do everything they can to fix him. People have – okay this will sound awful. People have heart attacks all the time and survive, don't they? I mean, they live for ages after. It's not like – it's okay. He's going to be okay. And I'm here for you, but if you need to be with your mum that's okay.
Just know I love you, and you'll get through this. And when I get over there I will give you the biggest damn hug you have ever suffered through.
Sent from my comms-device.
----------------
from: Mandy Douglas
to: Kay
date: 23 June 2015 14:35
subject: re: re: re: re: re: Uhm
He's in overnight. I think... I think I need to go cry for a bit. I love you too. I'm sorry.
~ Mandy
Don't mistake my kindness for weakness
----------------
***
[Sianor: Hey.]
[Ashroe: Hey.]
[Sianor: He's home now. Mom's running ragged throwing everything out.]
[Sianor: I mean food. I tried to tell her they don't even eat that much bad stuff.]
[Ashroe: Does it tend to run in your family at all?]
[Sianor: Not sure. Dad was adopted.]
[Ashroe: Oh, I guess... uh. Never knew anyone adopted before.]
[Sianor: Yeah. They didn't tell me until I was older.]
[Sianor: And then I worried I was adopted. But they said I wasn't.]
[Ashroe: How can I cheer you up? Do you want to write, or watch, or... share videos of ferrets doing war dances?]
[Sianor: I think write.]
[Sianor: I need to not be me for a while tonight. You know?]
[Ashroe: Okay, but if you want to stop at any time... you say.]
[Sianor: I promise, I will.]
***
Vadim found Ithon in his own room, much to his surprise. He'd just come back to splash water on his face before looking for him, but there he
was. Sitting on the bed, hands clasped between his knees, head down. He didn't look up when Kip entered, not even when he sat down beside him. Vadim made sure his leg pressed against the other's, giving him wordless support without too much of an overt gesture. When he didn't immediately pull back or hiss or spit, he figured it was a measured success.
"I'm going to have to help, aren't I?"
Kip nodded. "If you want to stop him, yeah. And if he's escalating up to this... you really want to let him get away with it?"
"Honestly? I kind of hoped if I forgot he even existed that he would somehow magically not exist anymore. Or ever. I thought if I never heard his name again that he'd... somehow just... died quietly somewhere."
"And you really thought that plan would work?" The Captain barked a short laugh, running his hand up into the other man's hair. He tugged his head onto his shoulder, then dropped his chin on top. "It's not your best plan ever."
"No. I admit, it isn't. But to be fair, I did make it about ten years ago."
"And you never revised it? Shocking."
"It was working until today." There was a pause, then. "Well, sort of. It's like not knowing there's a killer insect in the room, so you can happily go about your life and then... and then buzz."
"So we get a fly-swatter."
"We might need more than that."
"A fly-swatter, some insect-killing spray, a trained bug-eating falcon, a man in a big, hermetically sealed suit and – if that all fails – napalm."
Ithon twisted in his grasp, turning to kiss at his jaw. "Don't ever change."