Mandy stood by the clipboard, waiting on me. “You have tables one through three. If you show me you can handle that, I’ll give you more tables next weekend.”
Good grief. She was only giving me three tables? How was I supposed to make any money? I pasted on a smile. “I’ll take good care of the customers. Thanks, Mandy.”
It was still early yet, so I rolled silverware while I waited for a customer to be seated in my section. A few minutes later, the hostess called to me. “You have one on Table Two.”
Grabbing my pen and my order pad from my apron, I rushed over to the table where I could see the back of a single woman. “May I get you something to drink while you look over the menu?”
She looked up from the menu and turned to face me.
Shit.
It was Rachel.
Lovely.
“Jessica! I didn’t know you were working here. Did Paxton get tired of supporting you? Or maybe he’s trying to get you to hurry up and move out.”
I refused to rise to her bait. “Did you want something to drink?” Lemonade? A sweet tea? A tall glass of battery acid?
“I’ll take a cup of coffee.”
“Cream?”
“No, thank you.”
I jotted it down on the order pad and went to grab a cup of coffee while I took deep breaths to calm myself.
When I returned, I set the cup in front of her.
She looked at the cup and then back at me, her golden hair spilling around her shoulders as it highlighted a face that was too pretty for her own good. “Where’s the cream?”
“I didn’t think you wanted cream.”
“I don’t know what gave you that idea. I always drink cream with my coffee. You can ask Mandy. My family’s been friends with her family for years.”
I knew she wanted to get to me, and I refused to give her the satisfaction. “My bad,” I said sweetly. “I’ll be right back.”
I rushed off to grab some cream. When I returned, the folded menu was perched on the edge of the table. “Here’s your cream. Are you ready to order?”
“I think so. I’ll just have a small house salad. I don’t want to eat anything too heavy since I have a football party to go to tomorrow.”
What the hell? Had Pax invited her to his apartment after she hit me? “Staying away from carbs. Good choice. You don’t want those hips to get any wider.” I snatched the menu up and strode away, furious that she would be at the party tomorrow.
As I fixed her salad, the one good thing I noted was that it wouldn’t take her long to eat, so hopefully, she’d be gone in another half hour. I groaned when I realized I didn’t ask her what kind of dressing she wanted. Instead of returning to her table, I fixed a cup of every dressing available and delivered them on a plate, along with her salad.
As I started to leave, she said, “I asked for a salad with tomatoes.” She made a big ordeal of searching through the lettuce with her fork. “I don’t see any tomatoes.”
I wanted to give her a tomato, all right. I wanted to go back to the kitchen and find the fattest, juiciest tomato, preferably one that was half-rotten, and I wanted to hurl it at her head from ten feet away. Just the image of her head snapping back as the tomato’s skin ruptured into an explosion of pulp and seeds was enough to make me feel slightly better.
“I’ll bring some right out.” As I tromped back to the kitchen, I felt like I’d been zigzagging across the dining room ever since she’d sat her pretty little butt down.
I’d at least feel better if all of her beauty was marred with an ugly, hairy mole or maybe a nice set of elephant ears, but damn if she wasn’t one of the prettiest people on the face of the earth. Too bad her personality left much to be desired.
I finally got her settled, and I was able to concentrate on the patrons who had been seated at my other two tables.
Two hours later, she left. I supposed she was finally satisfied that she could check Torture Jessica off her to-do list.
When I saw Pax walk in an hour before closing, I wasn’t sure whether I was glad to see him.
“Hottie on Table One,” the hostess announced, waggling her eyebrows. “And he asked for you.”
“Thanks.”
I headed out to the table. “Hey, Pax.” No matter how irritated I was with Rachel, the hostess was right. Pax looked gorgeous. I’d seen him rub gel on his hands and stand in front of the bathroom mirror running his fingers through his hair until it had a bit of body on the top, and I could tell that’s what he’d done. His eyes were a bit browner at the moment than usual, leaning more toward pecan than hazel. His dark hair and eyes contrasted against his shirt, the same shade of a robin’s egg.
“I thought I’d stop by and see how your first day is going.”
I raised my eyebrows. “You really want to know?”
“Of course.”
“Your girlfriend stopped by to let me know that she would be at the party tomorrow.”
“Rachel?”
“Oh, so you do know her.”
He held his palms out. “Of course I know her, but she’s not my girlfriend.”
“And you don’t deny that you invited her to the party?” I quipped.
“Actually, I do deny that. Sort of.”
“I get it. It’s your place, not mine, and you can invite whomever you choose into your own house, but you do remember that she hit me, don’t you?”
“Whoa, calm down, Jess.”
“Calm down?” I asked, lowering my voice. “Mandy only gave me three tables today. Three! And Rachel sat at one of them for two hours, torturing me the entire time. And shockingly, she didn’t even leave me a tip.”
“Shit, Jess. I’m sorry.”
“So is it true? Did you invite her to your party tomorrow?”
“Not exactly. She stopped by the gym today to apologize for her behavior the other day. We were just making small talk, and I mentioned that I was having the party tomorrow. Basically, she invited herself.”
“Do you love her, Pax?” I asked, desperately trying to make sense of the entire situation.
“No.”
I was relieved.
He rubbed his jaw. “I’m not sure that I’m capable of love.”
My heart sank. “Are you saying you never loved me?”
“You know I loved you,” he spat. “You also know that you crushed me when…. When I love again…if I love again…I’ll make damn sure she deserves it.”
His words pierced my heart like sharpened spikes of steel, finding their mark and puncturing my flesh until blood oozed from the wounds. “You are such an ass.”
“What?” His brow creased, and his lips parted slightly as he waited for me to explain.
“Nothing. I can’t afford to lose this job, so I better get back to work. Did you want to order something? Maybe a nice slice of pork butt or a juicy rump roast?”
He leaned forward. “I see what you’re doing there, you know.”
I shuffled my feet. “Oh, good grief, Paxton. That was my plan. A little passive aggressiveness to let you know once again I think you’re an ass.”
“It wasn’t my intention for Rachel to be there tomorrow, and besides, I thought you had to work.”
“I do have to work, but I don’t have to leave until after the party’s already started. Not to mention that Joseph will be there.”
“Damn, Jess, you think she’s out to hurt a baby? And furthermore, do you think I would let her or anyone else hurt Baby J? Rachel may be a little misguided, but she’s not a bad person. She’s going through shit, just like you, just like me, just like every other person on the planet.”
“If she’s going through shit, then I’m sure she’s asked for it.”
“Be careful talking about things you don’t know about,” he warned.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
The muscle in his jaw twitched. “Just bring me a cheeseburger, fries, and some water.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked again.
“Just let it go, Jess.”
I glared at him a minute more. When it was obvious that he wasn’t going to elaborate, I strode to the kitchen to put his order in.
Every scenario known to man flitted through my mind as I tried to imagine what was going on with Rachel. The one thing I kept coming back to was whether she was pregnant. And if she was, was it Paxton’s baby? Was that why he was so defensive of her?
I walked food out to one of my other tables, but I was just going through the motions, a robot whose mind was focused on something much different than the task being completed.
Why did I even care? All I needed to do was save enough money to get an attorney, get my own place, and pay off my debts. Eventually, when I got on my feet, I would see to it that Cade and Pax were both paid back for all the things they’d done to help me through this tough time in my life.
While I waited on Paxton’s food to come up, I worked on the duties that I had to complete before I could clock out. I wiped down the counters and rolled silverware. When the cook slid his order out, I picked it up at the window and delivered it to Pax.
I started to walk away when he caught my wrist, forcing me to turn and look at him. “Thank you, Jessica.”
He didn’t sound mean or angry, despite the fact that I’d repeatedly called him an ass, and I thought perhaps he wanted things to remain peaceful between us. I tilted my head, giving him the slightest nod, and he released me. I pulled his check out of my pocket, slid it face down on the edge of the table, and walked away without saying another word.
Armed with the task of wiping down all the ketchup bottles, I didn’t notice when he left. I walked over to the table to clear the dishes, and as I pulled away his plate, I noticed a twenty dollar bill folded in half. His thoughtfulness moved me to tears. I picked it up and slid it into my apron pocket. He was leaving enough tip money to cover his meal as well as Rachel’s.
A pang of guilt for calling him an ass rose in my conscience. Paxton was the only man I’d ever known who could infuriate me and melt my heart at the same time.
I finished the rest of my duties as quickly as I could and rushed to Cade and Seren’s apartment with a burning need to see my baby.
“Look who’s here,” Seren said to Joseph after Cade waved me inside. “It’s Mommy. You missed Mommy, didn’t you?”
“I hope he didn’t cry,” I said, wondering if he’d been particularly fussy.
“He did a little bit, but it didn’t last long. Cade was pretty good at distracting him,” Seren said as she stood and brought him to me.
“Hey, baby,” I greeted. He gave me a slobbery grin, and I hugged him to me, relieved to know that even if there wasn’t another person in the world who loved me, he did. “Mommy missed you so much while she was at work.”
Seren laughed. “Cade’s convinced that Baby J is saying his name.”
“He was!” Cade insisted.
Seren cocked her head and shot him a sideways glance of disbelief. “Not even close.”
“Come on, Baby J,” Cade cajoled. “Cade. Say it right here in front of both of them.”
“He can’t make a hard C sound,” Seren said incredulously. “You’re tripping.”
“You’re just jealous, Flanagan.”
She scoffed. “Not hardly.”
Cade kissed his wife on the temple and pulled her into his arms, and I thought perhaps seeing the two of them together renewed my hope that one day, I would be in a relationship just as loving as theirs.
My feet ached, and I would have killed for a hot bath. “You ready to go home, Joseph?”
Cade released Seren. “Here, let me carry his bag to the car for you.” Seren quickly packed a few toys strewn around the room into his diaper bag, and Cade grabbed the strap and slipped it on his shoulder.
Cade and Seren both walked us to the car. Seren and I made small talk while Cade transferred the car seat back to my car, took Joseph from me, and strapped him in his seat.
After saying our goodbyes, I drove the short distance to Paxton’s apartment. Joseph fell asleep during the car ride, so I laid him in Paxton’s bed, making a mental note to start searching for a crib. I could probably find an inexpensive one at a yard sale or a thrift shop. I hadn’t bothered to buy one up until now. I’d had a bassinette when I first brought him home, but it hadn’t taken long for him to outgrow it, and he’d spent many nights sleeping on my chest, anyway. But he was getting bigger now, and I wanted him to get used to sleeping in his own bed.
I found Pax sitting at the kitchen table, hunched over his laptop.
“Thanks for the tip,” I said quietly. “You didn’t have to do that.”
He glanced up. “I wanted to.”
“Joseph is asleep. I’m going to take a hot bath.”
He studied me, and I had the urge to squirm under his close scrutiny. His hair was mussed, and I knew he’d been sitting in front of the computer screen, running his fingers through it as he lapsed into deep thought. A shadow of whiskers darkened his jaw, and the sleeves of his dress shirt were rolled up nearly to his elbows. Brief memories flicked through my mind, memories of our time together so many years ago. He always could steal the air from my lungs with just a glance, and I realized that I had stopped breathing, holding what oxygen I had left in my chest while I greedily absorbed everything about this moment, the way he watched me with hooded eyes, the way every nerve ending sparked like a loose power line skittering on a rain-soaked street. No other man had ever affected me the way he did.
His perusal pinned me in place, and I wondered if he knew what he was doing to me. I willed my feet to move, but somewhere along the way, the signal was lost. I didn’t know how it was lost, but I knew why. I belonged to him. I always had. Even though I didn’t want to remember, my brain conjured the day he had broken up with me. The pain had ripped through me, excruciating and crippling. My chest hurt, and I sucked in air.
Like a coward, I fled. Away from the eyes that haunted my soul. Away from the man who had the power to crumple me like a discarded sheet of paper.
Once I was safely locked in the bathroom, I stripped down to my underwear, leaned against the door, and closed my eyes, gulping in air as I tried to free my mind of unwanted memories. I slid down to the cold tile floor, knowing that my heart had suffered the same coldness the moment Paxton had walked out of my life.
Anger eddied in my chest. I felt like screaming, but instead, I clamped my hand over my mouth and forced my body to absorb it. How many times had I wondered what would have happened if he’d never broken up with me? And to know now that it had only been because of my scholarship.
I’d been unable to eat for days, completely miserable because he wouldn’t answer my phone calls or text me back. He had refused to even acknowledge me. By the time I’d found myself talking to Cade, I’d been a distraught disaster. Cade had truly been concerned. I could see it on his face, a face that looked way too much like Paxton’s. I still didn’t even know exactly how the kiss had happened. I hadn’t planned it, and I knew he hadn’t, either. I had just needed something, someone, and Cade had made me feel a little less lonely at a time when Paxton had completely abandoned me. My heart had ached, and I’d been doing nothing more than grasping at a moment of relief—a moment that would cause me a hundred times more suffering than it ever offered in comfort.
And I knew it had been the same for Cade, too.
Cade and I never spoke of the kiss again. The moment our lips touched, my only thought was that I’d wanted it to be Paxton. I knew it, and Cade knew it. It was a kiss that should have never happened.
But it did.
And I couldn’t take it back.
Pax told me that he didn’t think he was capable of love. And maybe he wasn’t. Maybe too much had happened between us, and for me to ever think that things could go back the way they were may be nothing more than a fanciful daydream.
He seemed much stronger than I, physically and emotionally. I’d heard him talk about using resis
tance training at the gym. I wasn’t exactly sure what it meant, but I thought maybe I needed to do a little resistance training of my own.
I would have to learn to resist my attraction to him.
Chapter 10
Push-ups
Jessica
I was shocked by just how much I enjoyed helping Paxton get ready for his football party. Having spent the last few years of my life with no family other than Joseph and no real friends, I hadn’t really participated in parties. On occasion, I might make cupcakes to share with co-workers but nothing like the spread we had in the kitchen.
I’d gotten up early and searched the Internet for fun but quick recipes. Pax had given me his credit card to make a quick run to the grocery store, and while he had gone to Flex Appeal to check on an issue with the computer system, I’d whipped up a variety of finger foods, making as many of them shaped like footballs as I could. I was pretty creative on the laces, making them out of everything from cheese to whipped cream.
As I stood back and admired my handy work, I heard him coming in the front door. He came up to stand behind me, and a grin slid across my face as he let out a whistle.
“Damn, girl. They’re going to be expecting this at every party. You know that, right?”
“It didn’t cost that much,” I assured him.
“It’s not the cost I’m worried about. What happens when you move out? They’ll be expecting cupcakes and cocktail weenies, and all they’re going to get is pretzels and chips.”
I let myself imagine for just a moment that he might actually miss me once I was gone. But that was before the doorbell dinged, and he opened the door to find Rachel in all her drop-dead gorgeousness.
Standing in the doorway between the kitchen and living room, I frowned. She wrapped her arms around his waist and kissed his cheek. “Hey, baby.”
Feeling like an intruder, I retreated back to the kitchen to clean up. I started loading the dishwasher, and the doorbell rang again. A couple of minutes later, I heard footsteps, and I glanced over my shoulder to see Paxton.
Betrayed (Whiskey Nights #4) Page 10