"Darius, are you all right? What did I do? Please, what happened?"
Hate and fury exploded from him in a volcano. This time, he did not lift his fist to her. He knew better. He knew what would hurt her worse. The walls around her emotions had completely crumbled, and she was open, vulnerable. He formed each thought carefully, precisely and shot them at her like and arrow.
"Never touch me again!"
Alena winced.
"It's because of you I can't be like a normal man."
Tears streamed down her cheeks. “What—I don't understand. I thought—We were just—"
He stepped so his nose was only inches from hers. “What you thought doesn't matter. I'm not your plaything."
The look of confusion on her face and in her eyes was priceless. She had no idea what was going on when he knew she did. “Please. Darius. I-I love you,” she whispered.
Laughter bubbled up inside of him. Love. What did she know of love? “You love anything with a dick. I know your kind. Now stay out of my way.” Feeling satisfied, he brushed past her. Once outside, he glanced up at the moon. There were still hours before sunrise. He had a killer to find, and that was exactly what he was going to do.
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Chapter Twelve
Alena slid down the wall to the floor. She felt ten times worse than she had when she was at the bluff earlier in the night with Darius. It was true. He was playing with her all along. He really didn't care for her. Maybe Vincent was a better choice. Yeah, and I'd go to hell before I kiss his mug again, Alena thought. She was ready. She had opened herself up to be with him, had taken that risk, and he had come into her room to join her, but then he threw her away like she was a piece of trash.
Even while she thought that, her mind reeled over the way they had fit together. Deep down, she knew they were meant to be. He was just being an asshole. He knew what he said to her, and the emotions he threw at her would wound her more than any physical slap. That was why he had been so cruel to her. While she was in his arms, her caged half had come alive. Her wolf had burned through her the longer Darius had kissed her and she felt the burn extend further than ever from the passion he stirred in her. It had been almost too painful at one point, but then he had pushed her away and the wolf had receded. Now she was left feeling that hollow echo as well as the place where Darius fit together with her. Tonight had just been plain old messed up. She looked at the clock. Dawn was maybe an hour away and the sky hadn't started to lighten yet with its rays.
She had chased after a phantom child or something which had led her to her mother and have something chase her back. I know it was Mom. I can feel it. But she looked different. She had the eyes of a wolf. How did that happen and where has she been all these years? Why come out and show herself now? God, I told him I loved him. I can't believe I let that slip. What is his problem? Why does he push me away? There has to be some explanation why he is the way he is.
"You okay, sweetie?"
Alena looked up and saw Marija leaning in the doorway. She just shrugged, not really knowing exactly what to say to the woman before her. “I've had better nights."
"I heard the argument between you and Darius. Alena, I'm sorry you got dragged into all of this. It wasn't supposed to happen this way."
"What wasn't supposed to happen? Darius being a prick? Me following a ghost child? Finding my long-dead mother or someone who looks like her? Being chased by a feral werewolf or whatever that thing is out there? Tell me what was not supposed to happen, o’ great witch of the pack? And enlighten me as to what is between you and Darius anyway? There's more than you giving him orders all the time. Even I feel the sexual tension and the hatred he has for you pouring off of him like a simmering geyser?"
Marija knelt down next to her. “I can't give you all the answers. I wish I could. There are a few things I can tell you. What you saw tonight was real. I was the one who conjured Trina's image so you would follow her. I wanted you to see your mother. She was real. She knows you're here. She desperately wants to see you, but now is not the right time. Before you ask me anything else about her, I can't tell you. There are some secrets that have to be kept in the family."
Alena went to say something, wondering exactly what Marija knew. She was the vedma of the pack, the witch, and had intimate knowledge of everyone. She healed the sick, put up the barriers to define the pack territory, helped birth newborns, and sent others into the other realm. Making an enemy of her or crossing her would be unwise. “Okay. I assume that I'll see her when she is ready. It's nice to know she's alive, but—well, those questions will have to wait. Now tell me about Darius and don't leave anything out. I know you set us up tonight, but I don't think it went as you planned did it?"
Marija ran a hand through her thick curls and stared at the now lightening sky. Alena sensed she was holding something back. She knew way more than what she was telling, but Alena had no way to pry the knowledge out of her. And she was too tired to force her emotions on the witch, even if that would work. She sensed the werewolf's loss and love for Darius and hatred as well. But there was also resolve. When Alena studied her face, she saw Marija's eyes had a distant look to them remembering the past.
"Ages ago, four centuries to be exact, I met Darius as he wandered into my camp. He was like nothing I had ever seen before. Tall, rugged, and hair as red as a sunset. I loved him instantly. We fooled around while he learned my language and stayed with us during the harsh winter on the steppes. He told of stories of his homeland about blue-painted men and fairies. From the beginning, I knew he had a roaming eye, but after a year of being with us, I thought he was going to settle down. I found out I was pregnant and was overjoyed. I was going to tell him, and when I did, I found him in my sister's tents. I couldn't think of anything else except my blind rage so I called down an ancient curse on him."
Alena listened intrigued and horrified at the same time. How could anyone curse someone and what exactly did she do to Darius? Make him into an even more bullheaded asshole than what he already was, but she did understand the way Marija felt when she walked in and found her man sleeping with her sister. That was low. “What kind of curse?"
The gypsy smiled. “I called upon an ancient and dark goddess. Morena. She is like the Celtic goddess Morrigain, a death goddess who governs the Ravens. I called down a curse which damned his soul to fly with Morena's Raven Warriors. It is said they are bound by the moon like wolves, except they can only be men during the three days and nights of the full moon and the eight pagan holidays. They can't be intimate with a woman or they will turn back into a raven. Even the slightest caress will send them back to raven form. There are thirteen of these damned souls, and Darius is one of them."
"But he held me before and didn't start to change. And he's been human these nights. How is that possible if you say he can't be?"
"I can only say he has been given a reprieve on his raven form, because during the day, he is still a raven. And if what you say is true, then you are his mate. He just has to accept that. Part of him does, but you must understand he was raised in a society where women were nothing more than breeders and playthings. I know that from experience. He is fighting with his emotions, and I bet tonight things were getting a little hot and heavy, and he must have started to change, and that was why he said what he said to you. Over the years, his hatred of me has grown ravenous. He hates witches, and women in general at times, because he sees us as his downfall. I hoped he would come to terms with how he felt about you, but maybe it's too soon. If you truly love him, which I feel you do, you have to wait. Give him his space even though it will tear at your soul. Things happen for a reason. Okay?” Marija smiled and patted Alena's hand. In the distance, there was a rooster crowing as the first rays of dawn touched the sky.
"I feel like cooking. Want to help me?"
Alena didn't have to say anything. She got up and dusted herself off. She would wait for Darius to come around even if it killed her. She wanted him so
badly her whole body hurt, and if he hadn't figured out how he felt about her, then she would wait. She only hoped she would not have to wait too long. “Sounds great."
"Good. If we get into the kitchen we can cook some for everyone if you want."
Alena shrugged. “I have nothing to do right now. So why not."
* * * *
After two hours of the pack randomly strolling in and eating breakfast, drawn in from the smells of Marija and Alena's cooking, the two were both able to sit down and eat something for themselves, and the day was still early. All morning, Alena had kept her eye out for Darius, and she only caught a glimpse of his dark clothing leaving the kitchen with a plate. She silently wished she could talk to him, but Marija told her to give it a while. Let him come to her. Knowing he was around and she was unable to confront him was hard. While she cooked, she mulled over what she had learned. What Darius had said was hurtful, but Alena understood him a little bit better and the reason why he was so bitter. The reason for him cursing at her was that he thought she had lured him on purpose and wanted to make him change, to suffer the agony of being turned into a raven in front of a woman. She understood how that was a demeaning reaction toward her in the kitchen yesterday. Why he struggled with himself so much made sense, and now all she wanted to do was ease his pain.
While they ate, she saw him walk back into the kitchen with his plate. She started to say something to him when Marija put her hand on hers and squeezed, shaking her head no. Defeat washed over Alena, but she knew staying in the kitchen was the right thing to do. She followed Darius with her eyes when he put the plate in the sink and then walked out the door. Before he did, he turned and looked back at her. There was nothing friendly about his expression. She looked away when the door closed, and she focused on her food. The food tasted like rubber now, but she kept eating. She would not let him get to her. Even as she ate, she realized tonight was the first night of the full moon. The pack would hunt tonight, taking to the woods to find their prey. They had no choice. Once the moon touched them, they would be under its siren song until dawn. She could not join them even if she wanted to. Staying inside and listening to their howls was best. From what Marija told her, Darius was able to be human during the day as well as the nights.
"Come on.” Marija had gotten up and her touch on Alena's shoulder caused her to jump almost out of her skin.
"What's going on?"
"Vincent has called a pack meeting and wants you there."
"I doubt I'm going to be much good."
"Darius found something the other day and is going to lead the others there, but Vincent wants the whole pack to know. There is a great feel of unrest among many of the members since the killings. “None of them wants to bring the authorities into this. It's bad enough the cops have come sniffing around about the deaths of the campers. We've been able to keep them at bay so far, but if word got out about the others, I don't know what we would do."
"I know the pack likes to take care of its own, but this has gotten out of hand. Marija, Jamie told me something about you and Vincent making sacrifices so the others could slip their skin while the moon was not full? Is that true? Did you call on something that let loose its anger on the pack? Is that what is killing the children?"
The vedma paused and sighed. “Alena, like I told you before, there is more going on here than meets the eye. I can't give you all the answers. I've tried everything I can and keep coming up empty-handed. That was why I called to the Shadows for help. It's like whatever is out there knows us. But I swear to you. I did not conjure up some demon wolf who is now taking its revenge on the pack. That would be heresy."
"Maybe it is one of the pack,” Alena suggested.
Marija said nothing but closed her eyes. Alena sensed the defeat in her. Her suggestion was something the gypsy did not want to fathom, but there seemed to be few conclusions left. “Come on."
Alena didn't have to be told twice by the gleam in Marija's eyes. Irritation blasted off of her like a sun lamp. Some of it was because, tonight, she would change, and her body was processing the nervous energy she had before slipping her skin. Her dark eyes had a yellow sheen to them, and her teeth were pointier than normal. Whatever was going on with the pack, Alena was going to discover. Everything about it was driving her crazy, along with everyone else. Marija seemed to be taking it harder. She wanted to get down to the bottom of the pack's problem. So did Alena. Her life had been sorted out for a long time. Now everything had been turned upside down. She had found a man whom she admitted she loved, but he was cursed, and her werewolf past, now alive, was biting her in the ass.
Finally, she followed the werewolf outside to where the rest of the pack had gathered. There were more than the first day she had come. She stayed to the outside and bolstered her walls because the uneasy energy of the pack was making her itch. The energy made her want to go back into the kitchen and cook for the next three hours. She wanted the comfort of her restaurant and nothing more. She wanted Cinnamon to curl up on her lap and purr her to sleep while they watched Bewitched.
"Darius has found a cave where the beast might be hiding. He has planned to show us where it is. I need a small party to go with me. It's a long run about thirty miles from here. And he found a trinket. A bracelet with the mark of our pack."
There were murmurs among the gathered. Alena vaguely understood that after running sixty miles round-trip, they would be too tired to change when the moon was full. Or they might not get back in time to hunt with the rest of the pack.
"Can't we get there some other way?"
Darius stepped up. “I'm afraid not. I've flown the route. There is nothing but woods and a trail which leads into the forest. The cave is on the side of one of the mountains. I barely found it and only noticed the metal glinting when the sun hit it later in the day."
One of the older members of the pack stepped forward. “Was the cave mouth triangular? Real dark inside, like pitch?"
Darius turned. “Yes."
He nodded and scratched his graying whiskers. “I know the way there. There's a service road that runs along the other side of the mountain. We would have to go around by foot, but I know the trails. That side of the mountain used to be pack territory back in the old days."
"Albert, that's wonderful. Darius, can you find it by car instead of by air?” Vincent asked.
The Raven Warrior nodded.
"Good. That is settled. Alena, will you tell everyone what happened to you last night."
All eyes turned to her, and she felt the pressure of their minds trying to squash her as if she were a bug. She swallowed and remembered to breathe. When she did, she envisioned a wall as thick as steel surrounding her thoughts keeping her safe, and the weight eased. I will not be intimidated by them. I can do this. I am a part of them even if I can't change. Vincent made me see that. That's the only good thing he's done. “I went for a walk in the woods last night and came to a clearing where I saw my mother."
"But your mother died along with your father when you were a child,” her cousin Jamie said. “How do you know it was her?"
"I know, but they never found her body. I don't know. I'd recognize her anywhere. She's a wolf as you are. I saw her eyes glint in the moonlight. Before I could say anything to her, I was chased away by the thing which has killed two of our children."
"What did it look like?"
"I honestly don't know. I was running away from it, but it was big, feral. It has no mind, just instinct. The bloodlust in it is amazing. I say it is a wolf gone wild. I say it's at least a stray running around, and if not, then it is a pack member."
There was an explosion of conversation at her suggestion, but she didn't back down. She knew there were others among the pack who thought the same way, but none of them wanted to say one of their wolves was a murderer. None of them wanted to be a traitor to their own kind, but it was coming down to that conclusion.
"How do you know what it felt? How dare you suggest it's one of our own? Yo
u're not even pack so it's easy for you to just go around pointing fingers.” The man who spoke was the one who had stopped her in the aisle when she had arrived. Victor had said his name was Ivan.
She took a step forward and watched him step back. She liked that. Her tone was harsh, although she kept the emotion out of her voice. She was not ready to get into a pissing contest with Ivan when he could easily bench press two of her. Where did Vincent find these guys? Are they ex-cons? Alena felt his fear of her, but she also sensed his need to show he was not afraid instead of running from her like a puppy with its tail between his legs. He remembered the pain she had brought to him when they first met at the lodge. “I know just as you know when the moon is full or when it rises over the horizon and you can slip your skin. I know because it's instinct. It's what I was born with. And I am just as much pack as you are. As you all are. I may have been born from a human and werewolf pairing, but when it came time for me to change, I started to. All of you who were here when my uncle was pack leader know what an ass he was. How much he hated me because I wasn't a pure-blood wolf. Hell, I wasn't even Bitten so how could I call myself pack, but he couldn't say anything until it came time for me to slip my skin.
"And then, instead of waiting for the transformation to take place, he began to beat me. None of you defended me against him. I was only a child, so I stood up for myself. I killed him with the force of my mind, and without thinking, I ran. I know the penalty for killing a pack leader outside the leadership challenge circle is death. You just let me run off and abandoned me to the wild, to the human world, hoping I was dead or something. If I was a pure-blood wolf, you would have come to find me."
Fur and Feathers [A Raven Saga Book 2] Page 12