by Penny Jordan
'Why don't you ring your husband?' the nurse suggested gently.
MAX WAS IN the middle of a conference meeting with a client's solicitor when Maddy's call came through.
As she tried to tell him what had happened he could hear in her voice her fear and distress. He felt as though a knife were being turned in his heart. Maddy was ill...his Maddy, and she was frightened as well.
'I'm sorry,' he told the solicitor swiftly. 'But I'm afraid I'm going to have to leave. My wife isn't well.'
The solicitor, a sophisticatedly elegant thirty-something with a high-profile reputation and a prestigious client list, thinned her carefully made up mouth.
She had travelled up especially from London for this meeting and she was not accustomed to dealing with Counsel who put their wives before their clients.
At the back of her mind was something a little more than professional irritation. Max was stunningly attractive and even more stunningly male. She was certainly not the sort to indulge in seedy one-night stands with good-looking business associates but the thought of suggesting to Max that they share dinner together after their meeting had crossed her mind. As had her mentally wondering if she possibly had the time to pay a visit to that very chic designer store she had just happened to notice as she walked through Chester this morning before her appointment with Max. Now, though, she wouldn't need to pick up something alluring to wear this evening.
IT TOOK MAX twenty minutes to reach the hospital.
He found Maddy sitting anxiously on her bed in a small private room off the main ward.
As he crossed the room and took her in his arms she burst into tears.
'What is it? What's happened? What's wrong?'
Max asked her anxiously as he smoothed her hair back off her face and cupped it, his gaze searching hers as his heart hammered against his ribs.
She was so precious to him, so very much beloved, the bedrock on which his life was now built.
Whilst Maddy tried haltingly to explain the situation Max tried and failed to comprehend how he could possibly endure his own life if he were to lose her. All the sins of his own past came back to him; this was his deepest and most secret dread; this fear that somehow the same fate which had given him so much, forgiven him so much, should choose with savage and inescapable malignancy to punish not him but those he loved most; and of all those that he did love, Maddy was his most beloved.
In his more logical moments he knew his fears were unfounded and illogical, but the same change of heart which had shown him the error of his old ways and opened the locked door in his heart to show him the true meaning of love, had also opened that same door to show him fear; fear, not for himself but for those he loved.
He could hear Maddy telling him something.
Above the fierce pounding of his own heartbeat he could hear Maddy's voice. Determinedly he focused on it and on what she was saying.
The obstetrician had told her that she was suffering from pre-eclampsia, a condition which could, if left untreated, threaten the life of both her and her baby.
In order for them to treat it she would have to stay in hospital where her progress could be monitored and she would not be allowed to return home until they were satisfied that she was well enough to do so.
A nurse appeared in the room giving Max a frowning look as she reminded Maddy that she must try to keep calm.
'Can I see Mr Lewis?' Max asked her.
She pursed her hps.
'He's with another patient at the moment and I don't know how long he will be.'
'I'll wait,' Max told her in a tone of voice that said he wasn't going anywhere until he had spoken to the consultant.
'Oh, Max, I'm so afraid,' Maddy confessed. 'And I feel so guilty. If I hadn't missed my last antenatal appointment they would have found out then what was happening but Ben wasn't well and—'
His grandfather! Max closed his eyes and willed himself not to over-react.
'You're going to be fine,' he tried to reassure Maddy as he held her tightly, 'Both you and the baby.'
Ten minutes later, having told her that she wasn't to worry about anything and having promised that, yes, he would get in touch with Jenny and, yes, he would pick the children up from school and bring a bag of things into the hospital for her, Max kissed his wife and followed the nurse who had come to tell him that the consultant was ready to see him.
'...and there's nothing you can do?'
'In the sense of making the condition completely disappear, no,' the man agreed. 'But in the sense of getting it under control, yes. Our first priority is to bring your wife's blood pressure down and for that we need to keep her here in hospital. Once we are satisfied that it is safely under control then she will be allowed to return home but only on the understanding that she does not overdo things.'
'And if you can't bring her blood pressure down?'
Max pressed.
The consultant stood up and walked over to the tiny window of his office, keeping his back towards Max as he said quietly, 'That shouldn't happen....'
'But if it does?' Max persisted.
There was a long pause before the consultant replied.
'If the condition runs its course unchecked in the final three months of pregnancy it can lead to the mother suffering from fits and to the deterioration of the placenta which obviously affects the baby. Ultimately—" he paused and looked at Max "—when this happens the mother can suffer from convulsions which in a worst-case scenario causes brain damage for mother and child and potentially death.'
Max stared at him in white-faced disbelief, and sensing his feelings the other man assured him, 'These days the risk of that happening is minimal. As I've explained, now that we've detected the problem we should be able to bring your wife's blood pressure back to normal and keep it there.'
'You say should,' Max interrupted him grimly.
'What if you can't?' he demanded, his heart hammer-ing against his ribs.
There was a long pause before the doctor told him carefully, 'If we were to consider that there was any threat to your wife's life then we should need to discuss with her terminating her pregnancy.'
'Have you told Maddy any of this?' Max asked him grimly.
The consultant shook his head.
'At this stage I do not believe it is either necessary or constructive to add to your wife's anxiety. And I must reiterate to you that we are talking about a worst-case scenario.'
'There is no way I would ever countenance anything that would put Maddy's life at risk,' Max started to tell him. 'Even if that meant that...the baby...that a termination...'
The consultant looked at him with sympathy. 'We'll advise you and your wife of the best course of action as her pregnancy progresses.'
Max closed his eyes in mute despair. He knew full well just how Maddy would react. She was the kind of person who would always put the needs of others before her own, all the more so when that other was their unborn child.
Behind his closed eyelids Max cursed himself for the fact that she was pregnant. They already had a family, three children. He found himself wishing passionately that the coming baby had never been conceived, hating it almost for the danger it represented to Maddy, and hating himself even more for what he was feeling. Surely the best thing that could happen now for all their sakes would be for this pregnancy to end.
Couldn't nature step in on Maddy's behalf and remove from her the danger to her life?
Guilt burned like bitter gall in Max's throat and belly as he acknowledged the grim horror of what he was thinking. The death of his own child before it had even known life.
'Surely if Maddy's life was at risk you could just act,' he began, but the consultant was shaking his head.
'We would strongly recommend a termination if your wife's life were in jeopardy, but we would need to consult with her first,' he told Max sternly.
He felt sorry for Max, but the needs of his patient were his prime concern. His patients, in this case—
both Maddy and her unborn child. And there was another problem that he still had to raise with Max.
A little brusquely he did so. 'Your wife is eighteen weeks pregnant,' the consultant reminded Max stee-pling his fingertips together. 'Twenty weeks is the latest time I personally would want to perform a termination. After that...'
'After that, what?' Max could hear the raw fear in his own voice, taste it in his mouth. 'That only leaves two weeks to bring Maddy's blood pressure down.'
'I'm aware of that,' the obstetrician conceded qui-edy. 'It is unfortunate that your wife missed her earlier antenatal appointments. Had she not done so we could have picked up the problems that much earlier.' He glanced away from Max before looking back at him to tell him bluntly, 'I do understand how you must be feeling, but I've had prem babies under my care who have survived birth at twenty-three weeks. To abort—'
He stopped compassionately as he saw the emotion Max was struggling to keep under control.
'Maddy will never agree to sacrifice her baby,' Max told him. 'She'd sacrifice herself first.' When the consultant said nothing, Max protested furiously, 'For God's sake, in all humanity you can't expect...I should be the one to make the decision, to take responsibility. She's my wife. We already have three children.'
Max could feel the burn of his own emotions sting-ing the backs of his eyes. Was this then fate's punish-ment for him? That in celebrating their love, in his reaffirmation of his vows to love her, he had quite literally sowed the seed of Maddy's death?
'We're talking about a situation that may never oc-cur,' the consultant reminded Max firmly. 'If your wife responds well and quickly to treatment, then all will be well. It is, of course, essential at the moment that she is not subjected to any kind of...upset or...pressure.' He gave Max a long look. 'I hope I make myself clear.'
Max made a terse nod of his head. He knew that the obstetrician was warning him not to discuss the situation with Maddy or allow her to see his own distress. 'I understand,' he confirmed. 'I have to go home now...to collect our children from school, but I'd like your permission to bring them in to see her.'
He paused and waited.
'Yes, I can agree to that,' the doctor told him.
'...and for me to be able to stay the night here with her,' Max continued swiftly.
With a small sigh the consultant nodded his head.
'But I must warn you, any sign that your wife is being upset or distressed in any way by either the presence of her children or her husband and I shall have to ask you to leave.'
Grimly Max inclined his head.
JENNY'S MOBILE rang just as she was about to leave the supermarket and drive to Olivia's. When she answered it she heard Max's voice.
'Mum...'
'Max.' She could detect the tension in his one word.
'I'm at the hospital.'
'The hospital?' Jenny gripped the mobile. 'What's wrong... Ben?'
'No, it isn't Ben, it's Maddy,' Max told her tersely.
'She's suffering from pre-eclampsia. I don't know what's going to happen yet,' he continued, overriding Jenny's anxious questions, 'but they're keeping her in.
That's one of the reasons why I'm ringing you. Could you go over to Queensmead and check up on Ben and—Mum—we're going to need your help not just with Ben but with the kids as well.'
'Don't worry,' Jenny reassured him. 'You know I'll do whatever you need me to do.'
'I'm on my way to collect them from school now.
I'm taking them straight to the hospital to see Maddy, but if you could come and take them home, I'm going to stay overnight at the General with her but the kids need...'
'Of course,' Jenny agreed immediately. 'I'll drive over to Queensmead now and check on Ben.'
She could hear the relief in Max's voice as he thanked her. When she started the car her hands were shaking. They all took Maddy so much for granted, her sunny nature, her calm gentleness, her ability to find room in her generous heart for even someone as irascible and difficult as Ben.
Virtually singlehandedly she had turned Queensmead from a cold unwelcoming barn of a house that no one had ever liked to visit into a warm welcoming haven which increasingly had become the hub of Crighton family life. The work she did for the Mums and Babes charity was of incalculable value. She had surprised everyone, including herself, not just with her administrative talents but even more so with her flair for fund raising. No matter how busy she was she still always found time for those who asked for it.
Max adored her and if anything were to happen to her... Jenny knew how potentially serious her condition was—how dangerous.
Her hands tightened on the steering wheel of the car. The first thing she did when she reached Queensmead was ring Jon but all she could reach was his message service. Her mouth compressing, Jenny dropped the phone into her handbag without bothering to leave any message.
Ben was asleep in his arm chair when she walked into the library. Gently she woke him up.
'Where's Maddy?' he demanded irritably. 'I'm hungry. Gone off gadding somewhere with Max, I suppose. She's supposed to be here looking after me. Acting like this house is their own. Huh...we shall see about that....'
Squashing her irritation, Jenny explained what had happened. The whole family made allowances for the often irascible Ben who had never reconciled himself to the death of his twin brother. But, increasingly, he was making challenging and hurtful comments about both Maddy and Max and about their future tenure of the house.
Jenny knew that Max felt concerned enough to have bought a large piece of land on the other side of town on which he hoped he would be able to build a new house for himself, Maddy and the children if Ben ever did carry out his threat to disinherit him.
'David has promised that if Dad should leave Queensmead to him he will immediately hand it over to you,' Jon had tried to reassure Max.
When Jenny reached the hospital, Max and the children were in the waiting room. Max hurried towards her and she could tell from his expression just how anxious he was about Maddy.
'Can I see her?' she asked him once she had hugged and kissed the children.
Shaking his head Max told her, 'She's asleep at the moment. This is all my fault,' he added emotionally.
The bleakness in his eyes tore at Jenny's heart. Silently she hugged him, trying to offer him some comfort but inwardly she was as frightened for Maddy as she could see he was.
'They can do so much these days,' she tried to reassure him.
'I should have guessed—seen—I know she hasn't been feeling well.' His voice was torn with pain.
'Where's Dad?' he asked abruptly. 'I thought he would come with you.'
'He's up at Fitzburgh Place. Apparently David rang him whilst he was playing golf to tell him that Lord Astlegh wanted to see him.'
She gave Max a forced smile. With all that he had to worry about the last thing she wanted to do was to have him guess how she was feeling.
'I'll take the children home with me now and don't worry about having to get home tonight, Max. I'll stay at Queensmead with them and make sure they get to school in the morning.'
FROM THE SMALL ROOM at home she used as an office Olivia could see Amelia and Alex playing in the garden. At the moment they seemed happy to accept that Caspar had stayed behind in America whilst they had come home but soon she knew they would start to miss their father and ask questions. They would be upset she knew. They both adored Caspar. But surely they were better off living with her in a loving happy atmosphere than enduring the kind of misery she had known as a child knowing that her parents were not happy together. Her agitation increased, her heart starting to pound with a now familiar sickening speed and intensity. She hated the fear she felt threatening to flood over her, hated the sense of loss of self-control it brought.
Pushing her hands into her hair she tried to massage the tight band of pain out of her skull. She had just spent the last hour reading through the work notes she had made before leaving for America but i
nstead of calming her, easing her anxiety, they had only served to increase it.
She thought of Jenny and looked anxiously towards her silent telephone. Her aunt hadn't even rung to welcome her home. But then why should she? Olivia was only a niece to her. Jenny had sons and daughters of her own who were far more important to her than Olivia ever could be and Jenny had grandchildren, too.... Far more loved by her than Olivia's children could be. Fiercely Olivia swallowed against the tight ball of angry pain stuck in her throat.
Tania, her own mother, had never even seen her grandchildren.
'Darling, I'd love to see the new baby,' she had announced over the telephone after Amelia had been born, 'But there's just no way I could ever come back to Haslewich....' Olivia had been able to visualise the shudder which would have run through her mother's fragile body as she listened to her. 'And even if I could, I know that my darling Tom would never allow me to do so. He can't believe how cruel your father was to me. And I'm afraid we couldn't invite you to come down here. We just don't have the room....'
And of course her mother didn't want to make room. Olivia had known that, but to offset that pain there had been Jenny. Jenny ready to open her arms to Olivia and her new baby and to become the loving wise surrogate grandmother Olivia had ached for them to have.
But then, one after the other, Jenny's own children had married and produced grandchildren for her, and Olivia had started to distance herself from Jenny a little, out of a fierce maternal desire to protect her own daughters from being hurt as she had been.
Everywhere she turned it seemed to Olivia that she was not as valued as other people were. Neither of her own parents had truly loved her—she knew that—and as for Ben, her grandfather, he had made his prefer-ence for Max as plain as his contempt for her.
At work she had tried to prove that she could work as hard, do as much, as any man. Even Caspar, who she had thought loved her, had chosen his family over her.