by Claire Merle
‘Ariana is a sweet, fragile girl,’ her father’s voice continued. ‘Though she was thrown into the limelight three years 97
ago, she realy has no life experience. She is stil a child and has already suffered greatly.’
Ana’s jaw tightened. Her body grew stil – everything but her eyes, which slowly climbed the screen.
‘We are deeply concerned,’ her father continued, ‘that she wil be unable to cope with this stressful situation.’
Her father addressed a dozen different cameras and journalists from a podium. He wore his serious, trustworthy media face. The one he’d used for the Pure Separation Survival campaign before Ana even knew Pures and Crazies existed. The one he’d flogged to death rather less successfuly when he’d been accused of altering her Pure test.
‘If you have any information, please, please contact the Warden hotline.’ He shifted his weight to look directly into the BBC camera. ‘Ariana,’ he said, ‘if you can hear me, hold on. We’l find you.’
A shudder ran up Ana’s spine. Furious wouldn’t begin to describe her father’s mood when he found out what she’d been up to. Thank goodness she hadn’t sent him an interface message yet.
‘What a phony,’ Lila muttered.
‘What a phony,’ Lila muttered.
Ana heard nothing of the rest of the news. Instead, she stared blankly at the screen, aware of her teeth chattering, her fingers as cold as icicles, her mind an empty igloo.
As the gathering dispersed, Lila took her by the arm and dragged her to the red barge moored alongside Enkidu.
‘This boat and the one you slept on are twins,’ Lila said, as she urged Ana down through the wheelhouse hatch.
‘ Enkidu belongs to Cole. Reliance is Nate’s.’
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Ana entered the living area. She could see the resemblance between the boats, though Reliance felt smaler because there was far more furniture and clutter.
It was also warmer. She made no objection when Lila pushed her on down the corridor and into a tiny bathroom with an offer to use the shower.
Standing in the handheld spray, Ana cocked her head to one side because she was too tal for the sloping roof.
The water stung her frozen skin. Heat sizzled through her body, and feeling slowly returned to her. She wished it hadn’t.
She’d rather feel numb than desolate. Her father had no idea what he’d just done. By making her disappearance national news, the Board would know she’d sneaked out of the Highgate Community when she returned home.
They’d think she’d snapped. Whether Jasper was found or not, the Board would never let their joining go ahead now. It was over.
now. It was over.
She put her fist in her mouth and bit on it hard. You can’t fall apart, she told herself. It’s not over. Your life isn’t over. If Lila and hundreds of thousands of other girls could survive in the City, so could she.
But why bother? Why struggle to endure the horrors of life in Crazy-land? Things could only get worse once her ilness activated.
Because you don’t have a choice. Because Jasper needs you. Yes, Jasper needed her. He had been wiling to consider joining with her despite the risks to himself; he’d been abducted for trying to help an ex-Enlightenment Project member escape the brainwashing sect. Her life would not be crushed into worthlessness, because she was going to rescue him. The 99
guilt she’d carried for two years eight months and seventeen days – ever since her father was acquitted of altering her Pure test and she officialy accepted Jasper’s binding invitation for a second time – vanished. She wouldn’t be responsible for ruining Jasper’s life. She would be the one giving it back to him.
As the water grew tepid, Ana quickly finished washing, then stepped out and rubbed herself dry with a towel.
She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror above the sink and abruptly stopped. Even wet, her long hair shone white-blonde. Her eyes were too big – like a dol.
If she wanted to get by in the City, she needed to stop looking so sweet and fragile. Swiping up a pair of nail scissors from a mug on the sink, she hacked off a strand of hair. Then another and another. A feeling of freedom and defiance flooded her heart. She would rescue and defiance flooded her heart. She would rescue Jasper!
She cut her hair as short as a boy’s. Then she drained the remains of her cold tea and rubbed the leaves into the tufts to dul the shine. She could do this. She could find out if Jasper was in the Enlightenment Project. She could save him and by doing so, save part of herself.
Not yet done, she picked through a pile of make-up shoved in a cardboard box beneath the sink and painted a smoky stripe of eyeshadow across her face. Then she attacked the gel, spiking up her hair so it made her forehead look giant compared to the rest of her features.
She gazed at the stranger reflected in the mirror. Brown-tinted eyes swam in shadow. Her hair looked like it had been butchered. Her face seemed more pointy. A pleasing result.
In the cool light of her decision, Ana considered her 100
father. Afraid of the consequences, she’d done everything he’d asked to win the approval of the Pures in her Community. Yet nothing had been enough for them or for him.
They stil made her feel like she was contagious, as bad as the defect she was carrying. At least in the City there would be no one to constantly analyse everything she said and did. She could be obstinate, impulsive and tempestuous; she could behave any way she liked.
‘Helo?’ Lila caled from the other side of the bathroom door. ‘Are you stil in there? Are you OK?’
Ana folded the cut hair in a tissue and hid it at the bottom of her tote bag. Then she rinsed the sink.
of her tote bag. Then she rinsed the sink.
‘I’m coming,’ she said.
‘Hurry up. If you’re any good at maths, there might be a job for you.’
Ana stared at her reflection. With this hair, the contacts and the eyeshadow, you’d have to be realy looking for similarities to recognise Ariana Barber.
*
By lunchtime, Ana had fifty pounds cash in her pocket, had got rid of her cut hair and had received two more offers of work. It turned out there weren’t many people in Camden capable of reading instructions and doing the necessary maths to fil out a tax return form. The satisfaction of the job, coupled with the money, gave her a new sense of confidence. Her father was wrong. She could handle herself, even out here if she had to, starting from scratch.
She and Lila sat on a bench near a footbridge overlook-ing the canal. In the distance, Enkidu and Reliance rocked 101
side by side on the water. It was strange. Looking at the City from where she was now, it didn’t seem as dreadful or scary as it did from inside the Community, where al you heard about were Crazies attacking each other, bombing monuments and going on kiling sprees.
‘So where are you realy from?’ Lila asked, spearing a strip of chicken from the salad Ana had bought her and chewing enthusiasticaly.
‘Another world. At least it feels like that right now.’
‘What about your family? Where are they?’
Ana poked her own chicken with a plastic fork. As she lifted it to her mouth, a smel like dried pee wafted up her nostrils. She scrunched her nose.
‘I’d rather not talk about them,’ she said. Holding her breath, she bit the chicken in half and checked the piece stil on her fork. The off-white meat appeared dry, but at least it was cooked through.
‘I’m lucky I’ve got my brothers,’ Lila said, through a mouthful of salad. ‘Nate’s a bit of a pain sometimes, but Cole’s amazing.’
‘The wind-chime maker?’ Ana asked. Lila nodded, cramming more chicken and parmesan into her mouth.
Ana explored the deeper layers of grit-sprinkled lettuce in her carton.
‘You’l meet him soon . . .’ Lila said.
‘Where is he?’
Lila straightened her shoulders. Sensing the sudden tension in her new friend, Ana focused on keeping her o
wn posture casual.
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‘We’re not supposed to be advertising it,’ Lila said, ‘but Cole’s been arrested.’
Ana remained silent, giving Lila space to continue.
Ana remained silent, giving Lila space to continue.
‘Wel, not exactly arrested,’ Lila went on. ‘But they’ve detained him for questioning and he’s not alowed to leave.
You remember the news this morning about those Pures that have been abducted?’
Ana nodded. Lila paused again. Ana’s mouth grew dry.
The inside of her lips stuck against her gums. Lila took a deep breath, but then her gaze shifted over Ana’s shoulder towards the canal.
She jumped up and squinted into the distance. ‘What’s that?’
There was shouting and a commotion. A smal crowd edged towards a figure on the front of the red barge. As Ana watched, the man tore off his shoes and jacket, then dived into the water.
Lila broke into a run. Ana dropped her salad and sprinted after her. Over the footbridge, down a flight of steps, to the canal. She leapt on to the narrow footpath below, and ran to the crowd gathered at the water’s edge.
‘Rafferty! Rafferty!’ Simone wailed.
‘Take her!’ Rachel shouted, firmly guiding Lila’s pregnant sister-in-law into Lila’s arms.
‘What’s going on? Where’s Rafferty?’ Lila had to shout to be heard above Simone’s lamenting and the panic and curiosity of passers by. For a moment Ana couldn’t think who Rafferty was. Then it came to her – the four-year-who Rafferty was. Then it came to her – the four-year-old boy tucked inside his mother’s skirts.
Rachel kicked off her shoes and tore away her coat. A 103
sound of gushing water split the air. Nate broke through the canal’s surface, gasping. His blood-shot eyes looked wild.
‘I can’t find him!’
Simone began sobbing and clawing through Lila to get to the water. Rachel didn’t hesitate. She jumped straight in.
A beat later, Nate bobbed back under.
Lila looked at Ana, tears brimming in her eyes. ‘He can’t swim,’ she mouthed.
Ana’s mind changed gear so fast it buzzed. Anything she did was going to cal unwanted attention to herself. And most likely the Psych Watch would get involved. They’d probably already been caled . . . But she couldn’t simply stand there. She fixed Lila’s gaze.
‘Find me goggles or a diving mask,’ she ordered. Lila squeezed her arms tighter around Simone and whispered something. Then she let go. Simone fel into a sobbing heap. Lila hurtled up the gangplank on to Reliance, then leapt across to Enkidu.
Ana crouched down beside Simone.
‘Did you see him go in?’ she asked gently.
Simone nodded, pointing to the front of Enkidu. ‘He went straight down.’
Ana stripped off her leather jacket and removed her pumps. The human brain could survive between four to six minutes without oxygen. At least two had already passed.
And if the boy had panicked his oxygen supply would be cut off even faster. Ana had one dive – about two minutes – to find and recover him.
Barely aware of the goose bumps on her arms, she strode 104
up the gangplank, crossed the back of Reliance and leapt the gap to Enkidu.
Lila appeared in the wheelhouse and tossed her a diving mask. Ana fastened it over her face. She ran up the centre of Enkidu’s roof, breathing deep and fast. In and out, in and out. In one fluid movement, she reached the edge of the bow and dived in.
The freezing water hit her hard, driving the breath from her lungs. Shock disorientated her thoughts. She held her plunging body stil, suppressing the desire to flail about and grapple for the surface. Blood flowed through her arms and feet so fiercely it hurt. She honed the smal part of her brain that wasn’t frozen on to the rhythm of her heart – imagined one beat for every two.
The canal bed came into view. Roling her arms to stay down, she counted, waiting for the roiled water to settle.
Sediment fel around her like dirty snow. And then, through the murky green, a child’s tennis shoe loomed.
Ana resisted the urge to shoot forward and snatch at it.
She swam to the foot with long, slow strokes. The boy’s legs were almost in arm’s reach. His face was turned towards the canal bed, eyes closed. His arms dangled at strange angles from his torso. Ana wrapped her arm around his waist and kicked her legs, lifting him towards the surface.
His limp body didn’t budge.
She scanned the child’s figure. A thick rope clung to his left foot. She grabbed it and gave a tug. The rope loosened off, then grew taut again. It had to be caught on something.
Ana puled herself along it until she reached a boulder.
The rope seemed to be snagged beneath the rock. She drew her 105
legs into her chest and with al her force kicked out. The boulder shifted. She flipped forward and snatched the free rope. Began to gather it up. The boy dragged through the water towards her.
Then he halted. Ana checked to see if the line had caught again. The end of the rope was looped through something rusty and metal. Searching through the gloom, she made out an iron stage weight the size of two bricks.
It had been tied to the boy’s foot.
No way. This couldn’t be happening.
The air ran out of her lungs. In fifteen seconds she would pass out. Jerking wildly at the boy’s foot, she knocked off his shoe. It drifted away.
off his shoe. It drifted away.
Come on! Come on!
She yanked the looped rope so hard against his ankle, blood began to colour the water. And then the foot popped out of the coil.
She hugged her arm around the boy’s chest and kicked.
Light refracted in the water above. Tiny rainbows of colour shimmered like jewels. Ana’s mind wandered.
For a moment she forgot what she was doing. The bright yelows, purples and blues mesmerised her. She jerked back to reality with a sense of panic.
Kick and count. Kick and count.
The numbers became muddled as she counted. Her vision became a wash of mushed-up colour. Suddenly, warm air slapped her face. Oxygen hurled into her lungs.
Relief poured over her. But then she was sinking again –
the boy too. A snatched breath of air had bought her a few more 106
seconds, but she felt the wil to fight slip away. She was tired. Too tired. Too cold.
107
11
A Higher Plan
The first thing Ana became aware of was the pain. It burst through her lungs, her shoulder, her arms. She roled from her back to her side and threw up. Coughing folowed, every spasm piercing her insides. The numb folowed, every spasm piercing her insides. The numb extremities of her body began to burn. Her skul felt as though it had been ripped open and stretched apart. Her jaw juddered fiercely.
A muffled cacophony of voices pounded against her. She became aware of light. Her eyes stung with the brightness of it, and her vision returned in popping circles of colour.
The boy!
She tried to sit up. A wave of dizziness rushed in on her.
Her arm colapsed beneath her weight and she dropped on to her back. Above, sunshine bleached out one corner of the sky. Nearby, a female voice counted. The rhythm and familiarity of the numbers relaxed her. Her body trembled, but the pain receded, enough for her to become conscious of the cold and for her thoughts to regain some semblance of motion.
A scorching hand pressed on to her forehead. Ana squinted and saw Lila’s face, surreal against the scattered clouds.
She tried to speak, to ask about the boy. But she could only cough. Foul-tasting water spluttered from her. As she 108
turned her head, she saw a figure kneeling on the towpath.
The figure swayed forward and back as she counted, as though chanting or praying.
‘Lila—’ Ana croaked. She tried to lift herself up again and failed.
and failed.
Ana drew a fist into her chest where the flames stil licked. ‘You . . . must . . . get . . . him . . . warm,’ she managed. ‘Blankets. Fire.’ An awful heaviness puled at her. She struggled to stay alert, but it was too hard.
Letting go, Ana colapsed into the emptiness.
*
She was running through a jungle of car wheels, windows, doors, bonnets, searching for Jasper. He was supposed to be there. A car engine hummed. She thought if she could locate the source, she’d find him. But each time she seemed to be growing close, the quiet thudding changed direction.
Her lungs began to burn. She gasped in pain and woke up.
Wood smoke stung Ana’s nostrils. A smel of mildew lurked beneath it. Ana scrunched her eyes into slits and saw her cream blouse hanging on a wooden chair in front of an iron furnace. Her tote bag, leather jacket and jeans lay beneath them. Cartography drawings decorated the wals and an old-style television sat on a wooden shelf.
She was back on Enkidu, semi-naked, chugging away from Camden.
Above, feet padded across the roof. Hushed voices murmured. The ladder into the living area creaked with the weight of someone descending. Ana couldn’t raly herself to sit up. She couldn’t even keep her eyes open.
Her body felt 109
as though the canal water had osmosed through her skin as though the canal water had osmosed through her skin and filed her cels with dead weight. She lay on the couch, an itchy blanket tucked around her naked arms and legs.
Her hair stank of pond scum.
‘What are you doing?’ Lila’s voice hissed through the hatch. Light steps scuffed the ladder, as she folowed down whoever now stood in the cabin.
Ana persuaded her eyes half-open and saw Lila’s brother, Nate.
‘Sshh!’ he said. His hands were in Ana’s tote bag. She frowned. Her thoughts were fuzzy, but that definitely seemed wrong.
Then Nate picked up her jeans and shook them. Her ID
stick fel out. He swiped it up and put it in his pocket.
Shock pinched Ana’s sluggish mind.
‘What do you want that for?’ Lila whispered.