Something about sitting in this little room filled with books and my closest friends, discussing these bizarre gifts and powers, made me wish she was here.
“Okay peeps, so Roz is an astral-projector,” Erica said, breaking the silence that had fallen. “Now what?”
“Now is the matter of the Dark,” Nicole said ominously. “Or, to be more specific, Prudence Evans.”
Jimmy sighed. “The woman is evil. There's no two ways about it.”
“She really is,” I said, agreeing. “After last night, and seeing what she was capable of….” I let my voice trail off as the memory invaded my brain.
It had been devastating to see a mother torture her child, even if I thought that child had been Parker, at the time. No one, even my greatest enemy, should have to suffer that.
“From what I've learned this week from Jimmy,” said Nicole, “It seems to me like Prudence has always had certain plans for her son, whether he wanted to be a part of them or not.”
“The poor guy never stood a chance against her,” Jimmy said softly. “When I was released from the hospital, Piper came to me and said she hoped my accident would make Prudence realize she'd almost lost her only son. She'd hoped it would wake her up so she would stop doing such terrible things to me. To Parker.”
I stared long and hard at Jimmy. He'd been living in Parker’s shoes for a few months now. If anyone knew how badly Parker had had it at home, it would be my love. However, hearing him speak as if he'd developed a soft spot for our enemy was disconcerting. I felt sorry for the boy who had grown up with such a violent, ruthless mother, but it didn't mean I'd forgiven him.
“Tell us what you know, Jimmy,” Jess encouraged.
He was silent for a moment, then began. “I know that she wants me to access Parker’s power, but I don't know exactly for what purpose. I do know she seems to think if I can learn how to control this magic, she thinks it will get her back into her coven. But why? For what reason? They banished her years ago, and I've never understood why she would even want to go back to them.”
“She's lying, I guarantee it,” Nicole said. “She has another purpose. Something far more sinister than simply being welcomed back into her coven.”
“But what?” Jimmy asked. “It doesn't make sense. When she finally knows I actually can use magic, she will have even less of a chance against me. I'm certain my power is by far stronger than hers.”
“You mean, Parker’s power,” I corrected. Hearing him say my power made my chest tighten.
He smiled in apology.
“Of course, Parker’s power. Sometimes it's just easier to say me and mine, instead of he and his.”
I nodded, understanding. But my chest still felt tight.
“You don't have full control over that power yet,” Devon warned. “You have to lay low with it until you can defeat her, if it comes to that.”
“And,” Nicole added, “I think Rosalind just touched on an important matter when she corrected you.”
Everyone looked at her, wondering what she would say.
“You are James Dean Matheson. You are not Parker Evans. You live in his body, in his house, with his family. And now you live with his power.” She leaned forward, closely, making sure Jimmy was paying close attention. “But you are not him. Having his power within you, it could change who you are on the inside. Magic, power, it's all so seductive, so tempting. You have to learn to control it first, before it can control you. If you ever lose the fight for control against it, it will destroy you.”
Jimmy stared at her in both shock and fear, and I reached over and gripped his hand.
“As long as I'm here, I'll always remind you who you truly are,” I promised.
He looked at me and his face was contorted as if he was experiencing a physical pain.
“I love you so much, it hurts,” he whispered.
I smiled. “I know that feeling.”
“Witches! And, Odie,” Nicole added with a smile, addressing my friends, “Your job is to keep an eye on Jimmy and make sure he remains his true self. Check in with him, observe him. We don't want anyone else falling to the Dark when they so clearly belong to the Light.”
The others nodded, and I pondered her words.
“People can fall to the Dark?” I asked.
“Not often,” she replied, “But it happens. Take, for instance, the Tate family. They belonged to the Light for generations, until Charles turned his back on everything good.”
“The Tates?” I asked, bristling. “Do you mean? Is that-?”
“Elizabeth’s family,” Belle said.
“Elizabeth Tate,” I said softly. In all the revelations of the day, I had forgotten all about her. But now, I recalled how she always had herself wrapped around Jimmy at school, throwing herself at him, stroking his arms, his back. The way she tried to hump his leg like a dog in heat whenever he was around.
I pulled my hand out of his and looked at him, angry.
“What is she to you?” I demanded. It was obvious something was going on with Elizabeth Tate, which was alright if the boy beside me was actually Parker Evans.
But he wasn't Parker. He was Jimmy.
My Jimmy.
“She's a shadow,” he said softly. “She's my shadow.”
“Your shadow?” I looked around the room to the others, trying to gauge their expressions. “What does that mean?”
Cindy explained. “A shadow is a person of the Dark, not a witch, with limited power. They are used in magic world to keep tabs on specific witches and warlocks. Elizabeth Tate’s father, Charles, was a successful doctor back in the day, but he became seduced by the idea of magic. When he discovered the Dark coven of Marion, he begged them to give him power, any kind of power. He didn't care if it was evil. He was greedy.”
Devon nodded in agreement. “The Dark offered him a choice. He could have limited, magical power, if he gave up his family to them. They would all be under the control of The Dark, not just him. If he refused, they would erase his memory of what he had discovered and go about his happy way, living his life without any knowledge of our world.”
“But he chose poorly,” Erica continued. “He willingly offered up his wife and daughter, to be used by The Dark in any way they desired. Any. Way.”
I shivered. I could only imagine.
“So Dr. Tate received his power,” said Belle, “which was nothing more than a minute amount of elemental magic. He can manipulate plants to grow or die, and water to evaporate, little things like that. But in exchange, his family was forced to serve The Dark.”
I took all this in, appalled that a father would be willing to do such a thing.
“So, the wife, and Elizabeth,” I said, “they had no choice in the matter? They just go along with whatever The Dark tells them?”
“They lost their free will the moment Charles Tate signed the Dark contract in his own blood,” Nicole replied. “They are like mindless creatures. Whatever the Dark say, they obey without question. And because they have no true power of their own, they cannot fight against it even if they wanted to.”
“Okay,” I said slowly. I glanced at Odie who was taking everything in with wide eyes. She glanced back at me shrugged. I could only image all the WTFs flying through her head at that moment.
“So, The Dark ordered Elizabeth to be Jimmy’s shadow, but for what reason?” I asked.
“Because they know I'm not actually Parker Evans,” Jimmy replied. “Prudence told me herself. That woman, Agnes, the one that used to terrorize you all the time? Parker’s evil old lady? She knew in the hospital that I wasn't Parker.”
“Oh Agnes,” I sighed. “I remember her. Quite vividly.”
“Then you know she's one to put on our radar,” Nicole advised. “Agnes, Elizabeth, and Prudence. They are the ones we have to keep our eyes on.”
“So Elizabeth will still be shadowing you?” I asked Jimmy. “Even now, she's going to be around?”
He ran a hand through sandy colored hair.
“If The Dark has ordered her to shadow me, there isn't anything I can do to stop it.”
“Do you think maybe you can get her to stop touching you all the time?” Odie asked, belligerently. “I'm sure we are all sick of having to watch that everyday!”
Jimmy raised his hands in defense. “I've tried! I've done everything I can to make her go away. The girl is not going to disappear.”
“Fine, she doesn't have to disappear,” I said unhappily, “But she does have to stop putting her hands all over you.” I looked to the others. “Am I right?”
They all nodded.
“Not unless he enjoys the touching,” Nicole smirked.
I shot her a glare and she shook her head, chuckling.
“Parker Evans and Elizabeth Tate have a history,” Nicole said. “Just because Jimmy doesn't want the girl touching him, doesn't mean Parker minds.”
My eyes narrowed and my face felt hot. “What are you saying?”
Nicole began to speak, but Jimmy raises his hand to stop her, shaking his head. Then he turned to look at me.
“It's the muscle memory,” he said softly, tenderly. His eyes caressed my face as I felt it grow warmer. “Parker’s body remembers things he experienced before. It remembered what it was like being fried by Devon’s electricity. It remembered what it was like to be tortured by his mother. It remembered being with Elizabeth. In that way. I have no control over the way this body reacts to those memories, all I can do is control my actions now.”
I stared stupidly at him. Lord he was handsome. I almost didn't care about the things he was telling me, so long as it meant he would kiss me again. Soon.
“Roz? Sweetheart?” He asked. “Why aren't you saying anything?”
I lowered my gaze and shrugged. “I suppose I can't really say anything about all that. It's not like you could control the things someone else did before you began living in their body. Just, promise me that you won't get mad if I have to kill Elizabeth Tate the next time she dry humps your leg in the cafeteria.”
He laughed and leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on my forehead. “I won't get mad, promise.”
Chapter 28
~Jimmy~
It had been decided that Roz and I would keep a low profile at school, so as to keep Elizabeth from having anything new to report about me to The Dark coven. I was advised to keep my eyes on Prudence for any signs of her gaining more power. I was also warned repeatedly against letting her see I could actually use magic. And, I was to immediately summon everyone in the group if, or when, she discovered I had power.
I anguished over the idea of keeping my distance from Roz during school hours, as did she, but we decided that it was for the best. If it meant keeping Roz’s importance protected from The Dark, then I would keep our love a secret.
For now.
Besides, if Prudence got wind of Roz and I being together, she'd likely filet me on the spot for not telling her.
Roz and I stood just inside the bookstore before parting company for the day. She wanted me to come by her house later this evening. I promised her I would. She explained that she needed to ask permission from her foster parents first, but would quickly text me with a time to come by. I assured her it wouldn't be a problem. I would come to her house when she said I could. Then, when it looked like she was about to say something else, I wrapped my fists around lengths of her silky hair, and kissed her until she was breathless and clinging to me.
Her reaction was amazing. She pressed herself into me, gasping for breath and almost raising her leg to hitch around my waist. I had to peel her away from me and remind her we were in a public place. While she was properly embarrassed, she acted giddy, like she didn't have a care in the world.
She was so damn cute, I chuckled at her. I left her with one more soft, slow, promising kiss that made her knees buckle, and then headed for home with a grin.
As I cut through Main and walked into the surrounding neighborhoods, I contemplated the way she had reacted to me. While I had been a ghost, she hadn’t quite allowed her passion to reach the same level it had moments ago. I assumed it was because she had believed me to be truly dead, and was full of love and longing now that she accepted I was alive.
However, as I wondered, a spark of jealousy grew. I began to consider that perhaps she was more attracted to Parker and his appearance than my own. Her reaction to my kisses had been so passionate that I couldn't stop the jealousy. Which was ridiculous. Who was I jealous of, myself? This may have been Parker’s body, but I was the one living in it. Therefore, it was me now.
Sort of.
Then I thought of the way I caught her staring at me during our meeting, like I was some sort of Greek god.
My jealousy soared and I fought against it.
You've been dead forever, I reasoned with myself as I continued to walk home. You're finally getting a true, physical reaction from her because you're an actual person now. Not a ghost. She isn't kissing air anymore. She's kissing you.
No. She's kissing Parker.
You are Parker.
No, I reminded myself. I'm Jimmy. I'm Jimmy Matheson, lover of James Dean and oldies music. Rosalind Pastrano is my earth angel and we are in love. She is purity and light and all the good things in this world. She could never love someone as evil as Parker. She was incapable of having love for such a nasty human being.
True. She wouldn't love him. She would want him, though. Remember, there was a time when her body had to obey his commands. There was a time when he tricked her into kissing him. Your body remembers that, doesn't it? Your body remembers what it was like to command her, to make her obey your whims. Your body remembers how she responded to Parker’s kisses when she thought she was kissing Jimmy, instead. She was so lush, so willing, writhing against you-
I hurried my steps and forced down the sudden anger that threatened to overwhelm me. I was NOT having this conversation with myself. I was NOT going to tell myself these lies.
My body jolted with a memory of intense pleasure combined with darkness. It was a forbidden feeling, something taboo but layered with a sweet, sweet ache that hit me from nowhere. I gasped as the strong sexual urge coursed through me, and then I realized what this was.
I was experiencing the muscle memory of Parker’s body, as it remembered what it was like to have Roz’s pliable, willing, and wanting body against me.
A wave of power surged through my body as I fought against the sudden anger that raged through me. My hands itched to release it, to send a blast of light and heat into the next person that walked by. To send them straight to an eternal oblivion in a blinding flash of magic.
This terrified me.
Power is seductive, I could hear Nicole say. It will destroy you.
I stopped near a tree and leaned my forehead against it, taking slow, deep breaths to clear my mind. I concentrated on my breathing, on finding my center, just as my mother had taught me.
No! Prudence was not my mother! A zap of lightning left my hand of its own accord, charring the tree trunk before me. Stunned and horrified, I stared at the smoking black bark. I quickly looked around to see if anyone else could have witnessed what I'd just done. I was alone on the street.
The anger slowly evaporated and left me, only to be replaced with disgust and fear for my actions. The power still begging for release disappeared in the next wave. When I was calm and collected, when I understood the crisis had been averted, did I begin to walk toward my house once again.
Roz loves me. Jimmy. Not Parker. I'm not Parker. I'm Jimmy. I'm not Parker.
I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not.
***
When I arrived home, the house was thankfully empty. The man who called himself my father was nowhere to be seen, which wasn't unusual. I had only ever been in the presence of Mr. Evans a handful of times since coming to this house.
Prudence, thank the Almighty, w
as gone, too, as were my little sisters.
His little sisters. Not mine.
After a quick trip up and down the hallways, I knew for sure the house was empty, so I went upstairs to my room. I threw myself down on the bed, realizing what I had almost been capable of during my walk home. I was so ashamed. My jealousy and anger had escalated so quickly, I was grateful some innocent person hadn't been injured by my power.
I knew how stupid it was to allow myself to become jealous of Parker. Roz had been duped in the past by him. It hadn’t been her fault that he could command her to do anything he wanted. It had been a spell. It was a relief that he hadn't commanded her to completely submit to him. That would've been far too much for me to bear.
I stared up at the ceiling, considering my current situation so I would know how to prevent it from happening again.
First, I had become jealous because the girl I loved had pretty much thrown herself at me in front of our friends.
Lame, buddy. Jealous because she wants you? You're an idiot.
Agreed.
Next, I had been hit with a surge of muscle memory in action, and it had knocked me for a loop. Parker’s body remembered what it felt like to command Roz, and of the intense pleasure it had briefly given him.
Pleasure is pleasure. Why become angry because something felt good? Next time it strikes, let it roll over you and enjoy it. Don't let it piss you off.
Duly noted.
Lastly, I had become so full of anger that power had spewed from my hands, going straight into a tree. The bark had blackened as if it'd been set on fire. Not good.
If you can't control your emotions you could kill a person next time. What if you got so carried away, you hurt Roz?
I would never forgive myself if anything I did were to cause her pain. Or worse. The fear of my reality crept into my soul, lingering within it, laughing at me. The only thing I knew to prevent this disaster from happening again was to keep my emotions in check, and get the hell away from people FAST if I couldn't.
Chapter 29
Rage in Pain Roz: The R.I.P. Series Book 2 Page 15