by Ali Parker
“We went out,” he said simply. “It was a great night. She had fun. I had fun. Then, without warning, she jumped up from the table and bolted.”
“Why?” I asked. “What did you do to her?”
Kason snorted. “I didn’t do anything to her, man. You did.”
It didn’t make sense. Frowning, I moved to sit down. My head was spinning. I couldn’t figure out which way was up anymore.
“She told me there was another guy,” Kason said. He sat down beside me, all the amusement gone from his voice. “She had feelings for someone else, and as much fun as she was having with me, it wasn’t enough to get this other guy off her mind.”
“Me,” I said with a nod.
“Yup.” Kason slapped my back. “Be happy, man. It takes a lot for a woman to end a date with me.”
His signature cocky grin spread over his lips. I rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t summon even a shred of anger anymore. I was too distracted by what he said about Candice.
“She really did that?” I asked weakly. “Just stood up and left.”
“She didn’t even take the flowers I bought her.” Kason pretended to be offended. “I spent a whole minute picking those out.”
“Yeah, I’m sure you’re really heartbroken.”
“Does she know who I am?” Kason asked suddenly. “I mean, does she know I’m a Romeo?”
Guilt overwhelmed me. I hunched over in my chair and let my head fall into my hands. Kason sighed, knowing the answer without me having to give it. It was written all over my face that I’d fucked up by not telling Candice the truth.
“I’m glad you didn’t tell her,” Kason said. “Makes my job with Leslie a hell of a lot easier.”
I jerked my head up with a snap. “I’m going to tell her.”
“You are?”
Kason raised his eyebrows. He didn’t believe me, and I wasn’t even sure I believed myself.
“It’s complicated,” I said defensively. “I don’t want to lie to her ever again, but how can I explain all of this to her? How can I tell her I knew all night last night and didn’t say anything?”
“I don’t know,” Kason admitted. “Look, man, you have to figure out how to make this relationship work, okay? She’s crazy about you.”
My eyes closed. I could see Candice’s face blinking in my mind. She was perfect. Beautiful and strong. Brilliant but never arrogant. I had already fallen in love with her, even if I hadn’t yet told her.
“She’s amazing,” I said, opening my eyes again. “I can’t imagine not being with her.”
“You’re scared.” Kason nodded his understanding. “And you should be. It’s serious shit, but don’t fuck it up with her. I’d kill to have a woman care about me that much.”
“You would?”
I’d never heard Kason talk about women as anything other than jobs. Even Yolanda, who he claimed to once love, was just a passing story. It was hard to believe he would ever want someone to settle down with.
“Yeah.” He shrugged. “Eventually. It might be nice to fall in love, you know? Have a real relationship.”
“Then, why don’t you?”
“Because you can’t work here and have that.” He shook his head. “How many times have I told you that?”
“And what about Leslie? You’re just going to break her heart? Do the same thing to her that I did to Candice?”
“No.” Kason shook his head. “It’s different.”
“How?”
“Because,” he said, “Leslie may have feelings for me, but me? I don’t care about her at all.”
***
Candice was waiting for me outside her apartment building. I pulled up to the sidewalk and peered at her through the window. She didn’t see me at first, which gave me a few minutes to admire her beauty without interruption.
She was wearing a pair of tight jeans today. Ballet flats adorned her feet, and her blouse was the perfect shade of blue. Her dark hair hung over her shoulders, catching the sun just right every time she moved her head.
I smiled and stayed frozen behind the wheel of my car. If she never saw me sitting there, that would have been okay. All I wanted to do was stare at her, memorize her face and her body, admire every inch of her.
I don’t deserve her, I thought to myself.
Remembering Kason’s story about their date, my stomach ached. Candice cared about me enough to walk out on a date with arguably the most attractive man in the city of New York. No woman had ever turned Kason down in all the time I’d known him.
But Candice did. For me.
It felt surreal. Like a dream that I never even knew I had. Like everything I’d ever wanted out of life was suddenly within my grasp and all I had to do was reach out and take it.
Despite all of that, I couldn’t let myself enjoy it. Not when Leslie’s face swam in my mind just behind Candice’s.
Leslie didn’t deserve what Kason was doing to her. She didn’t deserve to have her heart stomped on, no matter the reason. What if she really fell for Kason? Then what? How could I look Candice in the eyes knowing I’d kept the truth from her?
My head fell forward onto the steering wheel. I was grateful Candice hadn’t yet seen me. It gave me a chance to sulk in my own self-pity for a little while longer.
No matter how many times I tried to lift my head off the steering wheel, I couldn’t do it. I hated myself so much, I almost whipped back onto the street and drove home. The only thing that stopped me was Candice. Knowing she was right there waiting for me made me finally lift my head.
And when Candice turned hers to see me sitting there, my heart raced inside my chest.
I’ll tell her later, I promised myself. Just not now. Not today. She needs one day without stress in her life. Just one day where she can really relax. I have to give that to her.
An easy smile formed on her lips as she hurried forward. Sliding in the passenger seat, she leaned in for a kiss.
I lingered longer than I normally would have, wanting to savor the taste of her lips on mine. Once I told her about Leslie and Kason, I wasn’t sure I’d ever have the chance to kiss her again.
Deep down, I knew Candice wouldn’t blame me for Kason’s actions, but I couldn’t help but worry that it would bring up bad memories and ruin the incredible relationship we were building.
Beside me, she opened her mouth to speak, but I kissed her one more time before she could. She moaned against my lips and leaned further forward, her body halfway across the car. My hands moved to her hair, and I held her against me.
“Mmm.” She moaned again. “Was this your whole plan for the day? Because I think I’m okay with it.”
“Not exactly.” I laughed and sat back, straightening my seat belt and wrapping my fingers around the steering wheel.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
I smiled and pulled back onto the street. “You’ll see.”
Chapter 50
Candice
Ryan drove us through the city, not stopping until we crossed over the Brooklyn Bridge. I frowned and craned my neck behind us, watching Manhattan become smaller by the second.
“Where are we going?” I asked again.
“You’ll see.” He grinned.
A few minutes later, Ryan parked outside of a small botanical garden. I had no idea what we were doing there, but I followed him to the sidewalk without a word. Holding out his hand for me to take, Ryan led the way forward.
We’d barely made it two steps when a familiar squeal claimed my attention.
“Candice!” Paisley sprinted into my arms. I lifted her in the air as she wrapped her arms around my neck. “You’re here! Daddy said he was bringing you, but I didn’t believe him.”
“I’m here.” I smiled and set her on her feet. “Though I’m not really sure what we’re doing here yet.”
“Paisley had a day camp this morning,” Ryan explained. “It’s just ending, so we’re here to pick her up.”
“We aren’t staying?” I asked, glancing at the
entrance.
“No.” Ryan shook his head. “Unless you want to?”
“Whatever you have planned,” I said nervously. “I’m just along for the ride.”
Ryan grinned and led Paisley and me back to the car. He helped Paisley into the back seat and pushed the door closed behind her. Turning to me, he wrapped his arms around me and gently pulled me forward.
“Is this on the agenda?” I asked playfully.
“I’m sorry about Paisley,” he said. “I thought the camp was all day, but I was wrong.”
“What?” I blinked. “Are you kidding? I’m happy she’s here.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Really? I know it can be annoying to have—”
“Ryan.” I pressed one finger to his lips. “Paisley is never annoying. Not to me.”
His eyes fluttered closed as he leaned in for a kiss. Everything about Ryan seemed different today. It was as if he’d suddenly become a new person overnight. His kisses were longer, his sighs deeper. Everything was slightly more intense and passionate than before.
“Get in,” he said. He reached around me to open my door. “We have a full day ahead of us.”
I slid inside and let Ryan close the door behind me. Twisting around in my seat, I wigged my eyebrows as Paisley. She giggled just as Ryan climbed behind the wheel.
“What’s so funny?” he asked suspiciously.
“Nothing!” Paisley laughed.
Chuckling, I turned back to face the front. Ryan still didn’t tell me where we were going, but I suddenly didn’t care. Spending the entire day with Ryan and his daughter was more than I imagined. Wherever we went, I knew it was going to be amazing.
“Daddy,” Paisley called from the backseat. “Are we going to eat lunch? I’m starving!”
“Yup.” Ryan nodded and whipped the wheel to the right. “We’re heading back into the city. I know a place you’re both going to love.”
“I hope you’re right,” I said playfully. “Paisley and I can be very picky, can’t we?”
“Very picky!” Paisley agreed.
Ryan snickered and reached for my hand. He interlaced his fingers with mine as he drove us back over the bridge and into Manhattan.
We passed the Smart Cosmetics Building, and I sat up straighter, my eyes naturally drawn to the windows. I couldn’t help wondering what was going on inside. Ryan cleared his throat and claimed my attention again.
“Forget about it,” he said so only I could hear. “Work will be there tomorrow, I promise.”
With a sigh, I sank back into the seat and closed my eyes. He was right. Spending one day away from the office wouldn’t kill me.
***
We pulled up to a small pizza joint a few blocks away from my office. I’d never seen it before, and it was no secret why. The place was so tiny, it could fit in the narrow space between two buildings. I stared at the door nervously as Ryan and Paisley led the way inside.
“What is this place?” Paisley asked.
Ryan grinned down at her. “You’ll see.”
“Is it pizza?” she asked.
“Yup.”
I shot Ryan another nervous glance as he held the door open. He nodded encouragingly and motioned for me to go inside. I stepped over the threshold with Paisley nipping at my heels.
The restaurant was the complete opposite of what I expected. It extended so far back, I couldn’t see the end. The walkway was so narrow, we had to walk single file just to avoid bumping into people.
On either side of us were two long counters that overlooked narrow kitchen areas. Pizza ovens lined both sides, blazing hot as workers constantly shoved dough inside.
“Over here,” Ryan said. He stepped in front of me and led the way down the aisle. Stopping halfway down, he pointed to three stools on the left.
Paisley jumped onto the one in the middle while Ryan sat down beside her. I climbed on the empty stool, my head swiveling around.
“I don’t get it,” I said. “It’s just a pizza joint. What’s so special about this place?”
“You’ll see.”
Ryan grinned again. I was growing impatient, but I told myself to relax. This day was all about stress relief. If I couldn’t let myself have a little fun, then what was the point?
A man behind our counter stepped up to us. He waved down at Paisley and began laying out three pizza doughs in front of us. The dough was raw and already formed into thick circles. Frowning, I watched as he laid out an assortment of toppings.
“Have fun, kids.” He grinned and moved down the counter.
Paisley immediately went to work on her pizza. She dumped chocolate sauce on it, then reached for the candy section of the lineup.
I stared blankly in front of me, at a loss for words.
“I take it you’ve never made your own pizza before?” Ryan asked.
“Is it that obvious?” I asked.
“You are a little sheltered.” He shrugged. “Not that it’s a bad thing.”
We both turned our attention to Paisley just in time to see her dump an entire bag of chocolate candy on top of her pizza.
“That’s enough.” Ryan chuckled. “I think your candy pizza is complete.”
“What are you going to make, Candice?” Paisley asked.
I looked at the toppings. “Hmm,” I said thoughtfully. “I don’t know. Why don’t you help me?”
Paisley went to work piling topping after topping on my pizza dough. When she was done, she turned to her dad. Ryan let her assemble his pizza before calling the man back over. He took the three uncooked pizzas from us and slid them easily into the oven.
Bouncing up and down on her stool, Paisley strained her neck to watch the pizzas cook. She was most excited about her chocolate concoction, but I was just thrilled to experience something new.
Laughing to myself, I tried to think of the last time I did something fun. Going to Sub Zero with Leslie didn’t count. That night had started out great but quickly turned hellish.
“What are you thinking about over there?” Ryan asked behind Paisley’s back.
“Everything,” I admitted. “I can’t believe I’ve never done this before. I mean, my office is right around the corner, and I never knew this place existed.”
“We come here all the time,” Ryan said, smoothing his hand over Paisley’s hair. “It’s Pea’s favorite.”
“I love it!” Paisley shouted.
Ryan laughed and looked back at me. “You seem upset,” he said with a frown. “I know this probably wasn’t what you expected from today. I just thought it might take your mind off work.”
“It’s perfect,” I promised. “But I think it’s going to take a lot more to completely distract me.”
“Well.” He grinned. “The day isn’t over yet.”
The three of us ate our pizzas and laughed the whole time. Surprisingly, every single pizza was delicious despite being assembled by a four-year-old. Paisley’s chocolate one was my favorite. I let myself have two pieces before holding my hands up in defeat.
“No more,” I groaned. “I’ll burst.”
Paisley giggled, chocolate covering her face.
“Come on.” Ryan laughed. “Let’s get you cleaned up. We have one more stop to make.”
After Ryan washed Paisley’s face and hands, we went back to the car. As we drove back past the Smart Cosmetics building, my mind turned back to work. I thought about all the banquet prep that was going on inside, and a tight knot formed in my throat.
“Ryan,” I said, turning to him. “What do you think I should do about the banquet?”
“What about it?” he asked. “You mean Bart’s threat?”
I nodded, and Ryan sighed. Tightening his fingers around the steering wheel, he shook his head and took his time forming an answer.
“I don’t know,” he finally said. “It’s a tight spot to be in. On the one hand, I want you to tell him to go screw himself, but on the other—”
“You don’t want me to lose my job,” I finished
for him.
“Exactly.”
Staring out the window, I let the stress overwhelm me. Driving to Brooklyn and back with Ryan, seeing Paisley, making pizzas, and listening to my favorite little girl giggle had made my entire day. And it wasn’t even over yet.
Ryan had more planned for us. I knew it would all be incredible, but I still couldn’t make myself fully relax.
“Do you want to go?” I asked Ryan.
Ryan sighed sadly. “It’s not up to me, Candice.”
“I know,” I said. “But it might help me make my decision if I knew what you wanted”
He smiled and shook his head, refusing to give me an answer. I knew he meant well, but at that moment, I hated him for it. All I wanted was a clear-cut sign, something to point me in the right direction.
“This is impossible,” I muttered to myself.
“Just take some time and think about it,” Ryan said.
“I don’t have time. The banquet is Saturday. Time is up.”
“Whatever you decide, I’m here.” Ryan reached for my hand. “I support you, Candice. No matter what.”
It wasn’t the sign I wanted, but it was exactly what I needed. I held tightly to Ryan’s hand as he drove us deeper into the city. We pulled up in front of a small boutique and walked around to help Paisley get out.
“I thought you ladies might want to do some shopping,” Ryan said. “What do you think?”
Paisley frowned up at the shop. Glancing nervously at Ryan, she took a small step backward and hid behind my legs.
“I don’t like shopping.” She groaned.
“You’ll like this,” I promised. “I am an expert shopper.”
Ryan grinned. “I expected as much.”
He ushered us inside, and he was right, shopping was exactly what I needed to take my mind off my predicament.
“I can’t remember the last time I went shopping.” I laughed. “I think it was like five years ago.”
“You haven’t bought new clothes in five years?” Ryan raised his eyebrows.
Embarrassed, I dropped my eyes to the floor. I didn’t want to admit to being so rich that I had people who would shop for me.
I didn’t have to. With a nod and a chuckle, Ryan understood.