by Ali Parker
Glancing around, I searched for the eyes I expected to find on me. No one was there. I prayed no one from the company would come around to witness this, because I wasn’t sure I could stop myself now.
“I didn’t ask for the money,” Ryan said. “I swear to god, Candice. She just pulled me into that room and pushed an envelope on me. I had no idea she was going go to do that!”
I barely heard a word he said. Everything had suddenly come into focus. Why Ryan was so hell-bent on defending my mother last night, why he got so offended by my anger toward her. I finally understood. They’d been on the same side this entire time.
“You’re disgusting!” I screamed, not caring if the entire city heard. “I can’t believe I was stupid enough to believe anything you said!”
“Candice—”
Ryan’s green eyes flashed with more pain than I’d ever seen. He looked broken, defeated. Part of me longed to go to him, to wrap my arms around him and take his pain away, but my anger was too strong. My love for him was based on nothing but lies.
“I gave you every chance,” I said. “Every chance to tell me the truth. How many times did I ask you? How many times did I beg you to tell me if this was still just a job to you?”
“It’s not!” Ryan threw his hands up. “Candice, it’s not. You are the furthest thing from a job, okay? I love you. You know that!”
“Do I?”
I could barely stand to look at him. Every time he opened his mouth, I wanted to feel his cheek burn against my palm. Right now, I hated him.
“I don’t ever want to see you again,” I told him. “I never want to see your face. This is the last time we will ever speak, Ryan. Ever.”
“You can’t honestly believe I’ll just give up on you,” he said frantically. “After everything we’ve been through together. Do you really believe my feelings for you are anything but real?”
“Why shouldn’t I?” I demanded. “After all, we started this with lies. It makes total sense that we should end it the same way.”
My voice had finally returned to normal. It was like my anger had become so strong that screaming was useless. My hands trembled at my sides as I glared into Ryan’s eyes. Even the sharp green of his irises did nothing to deter me. I hated him. And I would hate him forever.
“You love me,” Ryan said, his voice weak. “I know you do. I’ve seen it in your eyes. I’ve felt it.”
“That’s done,” I said. “We’re done.”
“You can’t just decide that!” Ryan took a step forward. “Candice, it isn’t that simple, and you know it! Ask your mother.”
“Like I would believe anything that woman says.”
“She’ll tell you!” Ryan begged. “She’ll tell you I didn’t keep the money, that I threw it back in her face.”
“Right.”
I turned away from him and stared out over the city. Cars whizzed by on the street, people walked around us, but no one cared enough to stop. They didn’t know us. They didn’t know that my entire world was caving in on itself.
“Please.” Ryan’s voice was too close. He was right behind me. I could feel his breath on the back of my neck. “Candice, please. I love you. I don’t know how many more ways I can say that.”
My eyes closed. The anger I felt disappeared, and my body went weak. My shoulders slumped. My head fell forward. Ryan was so close now that all I had to do was turn around, and I’d be back in his arms.
Everything inside of me wanted that.
But I couldn’t. He was a liar and nothing more. He was the worst kind of man because he didn’t just break my heart, he planned on breaking it.
“Why didn’t you just let me go?” I asked the cars as they passed. “When I first found out, that was your out. All you had to do was let me go.”
“I couldn’t,” Ryan whispered. “I loved you too much to let you slip through my fingers.”
“You never loved me.”
Ryan moved closer. He wasn’t touching me, but I felt him as strongly as if he were. Every part of my body begged me to turn around and bury myself in him.
“I want to believe you,” I said. “But, how can I?”
“Because it’s the truth.”
Ryan couldn’t take it anymore. He reached out to me. Gripping my arm, he spun me around to face him. Those green eyes I loved and hated in equal measure locked on my own and didn’t let go.
His arms moved slowly around my waist, pulling me gently against him. All the fight drained out of me as I sank against his chest. He breathed out a sigh of relief and held me so tightly that I thought I might melt into him.
“You have to know that I—”
Ryan’s words were drowned out the beep of a car horn. I jerked my head back at the sound only to have my eyes fall on my mother’s face.
She was standing in the doorway to the hotel, the lobby unfolding behind her. Her eyes were fixed on me and Ryan, a dissatisfied grimace overtaking her features.
When I saw her, everything came flooding back to the surface. I shoved Ryan away from me with as much anger and resentment as I could muster. He stumbled backward, almost falling to the concrete, but I didn’t care. I was already spinning on my heel.
He didn’t let me get far.
“Candice!”
His arm shot out, his fingers closing around my arm. I jerked it out of his grasp and whipped around to face him. Whatever he saw on my face made him freeze.
“Candice—”
“Shut up!” I screamed as loud as my lungs would allow. “Haven’t you put me through enough? Both of you!”
I craned my neck around to glare at my mother. She was still watching us with an unreadable expression on her face.
“Is this what you wanted?” I demanded, my eyes on her. “Me to lose my shit in the middle of the night! On the street! For everyone to see!”
Mom took a step forward, but I held my hand up.
“Don’t!” I screamed. “Don’t you dare come near me.”
She stopped walking but didn’t turn away. I had no idea what she was waiting for. Her car was right there, the driver standing beside the back door waiting to open it for her.
But she didn’t move.
She simply stared, her eyes floating between my face and Ryan’s back.
“Go,” I said to him. “My mother is right there. I’m sure she’d be happy to give you a ride home.”
“I don’t want to leave,” Ryan said. “I’ll stand here all night until you believe me.”
“There’s nothing to believe,” I said, the fight slowly leaving my body. “I’m done, Ryan. We’re done. It’s that simple.”
“It’s not.” Ryan shook his head. “It can’t be.”
His eyes pooled with tears, and I looked away. I hated that I still loved him. After everything, I couldn’t shake the undeniable pull I felt for him. He had become my gravity and trying to change that was like breaking my own bones.
“I really hope that money helps you,” I told him without emotion. “Whatever it is that’s so important, I hope that money solves all your problems.”
“Candice—”
“Goodbye, Ryan.” I turned on my heel and marched toward the street. My limo was waiting right behind my mother’s car. I nodded to the driver as I stepped up. He pulled open the back door, and I took a step forward.
Before I slid inside, I turned back to Ryan.
“Tell Paisley I’m sorry,” I said. “But I can’t see her anymore, not when she has a father like you.”
He pursed his lips and his face turned to steel as I turned back to the limo. Sliding across the backseat, I yanked the door closed behind me.
The driver hurried around to the driver’s seat. He climbed behind the wheel and glanced to the back.
“Will anyone else be joining us, Miss?”
I looked out the window. Ryan was still standing there, staring blankly at the tinted windows of the limo. My mother, her expression blank as ever, stood a few feet behind him.
�
��No.” I turned away. “No. It’s just me.”
Chapter 61
Ryan
The limo disappeared around the corner, taking Candice along with it. With my heart racing inside my chest, I leaped forward and threw my arm out. Cars darted past, but there were no taxis in sight. It was the first time in my life I’d failed to hail a cab in New York City.
Minutes passed and still, no amount of yelling or waving won me a cab. As I spun my head side to side, searching for the nearest subway station, the tap of high-heels claimed my attention.
“Ryan,” Deborah said behind me. “She’s gone.”
“You are the last person I want to talk to,” I snapped, jerking my body away from her.
There. Just a block away, I could see the stairs that led underground. I took one step forward, but Deborah darted out in front of me.
“The subway?” she asked with a scoff. “At this time of night?”
I glared at her, but even as my anger mounted, my feet stilled. She was right. Taking the subway across town in the middle of the night was beyond stupid. Besides, it wouldn’t be long before the last train finished its route.
“Ryan,” Deborah said, her voice gentle. “My driver is right here. Let me drive you.”
“Ha!” Finally fixing my eyes on her, I didn’t bother to hide my contempt. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
She winced at my language but had the decency to keep her mouth shut. I shot one last glare her way before turning on my heel and marching down the street.
As I walked, I fished for my cell phone. It was buried deep in the inside pocket of my tuxedo. When my fingers finally clamped down on it, I wrenched it free and fumbled to unlock the screen. My thumb moved down my list of contacts until I reached the Cs.
“Come on.” I tapped my foot and pressed the phone hard against my ear. “Come on, Candice. Please answer.”
Her voice mail picked up, and I cursed into the night. I called her one more time before giving up and scrolling down until my eyes fell on Kason’s name.
“Ryan?” he asked, answering on the second ring. “I’m still with Leslie. What’s up, man?”
“I can’t find a fucking cab,” I said. “I need a ride. Come get me, okay?”
“Where are you?” Kason asked.
“Still at the banquet.” I squeezed my eyes closed. “Candice took off, and I can’t find a cab, Kase. I need your help.”
“What happened?”
The last thing I wanted to do was explain everything to Kason, but I didn’t have a choice. I spat out the most minimal explanation I could before falling silent. On the other end of line, I could hear soft whispers that made my stomach drop.
“Did Leslie hear all that?” I demanded.
Kason hesitated. “Yeah.” He sighed. “She did.”
Leslie whispered something else, but I couldn’t make it out. I held my breath and waited.
“How did you know?” Kason asked, clearly not speaking to me.
“Kason,” I snapped. My patience was wearing thin. I had to get to Candice before her anger became too much to overcome.
“I don’t want to just take off, Leslie,” Kason said. “Your mother may have paid for this date, but that doesn’t mean—”
Leslie’s muffled voice once again echoed through the phone. I strained my ears to listen, but she was too far away to hear.
“All right.” Kason sighed. “Ryan, I’m on my way, okay? I’ll be there soon.”
“Thanks, Kase.” I paused. “And tell Leslie thanks too.”
“Will do.”
Kason hung up, and I let my arm fall to my side. My phone stayed clutched between my fingers. I don’t know how long I stood there, frozen and filled with dread, but I didn’t move an inch until I saw Kason’s car pull up beside me.
He rolled down his window and said, “Get in.”
I hurried forward and jumped in the passenger seat. Kason took off down the street, listening for my directions as he wove a quick path to Candice’s.
“What the hell happened tonight?” Kason asked. “I mean, after Mrs. Smart shoved that cash on you.”
“Candice freaked out,” I said simply. “She wouldn’t talk to me until the banquet ended and then—well, you know the rest.”
“Leslie knew something was wrong,” Kason said. “She didn’t want to leave. She was worried the entire way back to her place.”
“She took you back to her place?” I asked, momentarily distracted from my own problems.
Kason nodded. “Yeah, apparently she wanted to confront me about the contract. Candice must have told her everything at the banquet tonight.”
“She always wanted Leslie to know,” I said. “That’s Candice. She couldn’t live with the idea that her sister might get hurt.”
“I never wanted to hurt her. And honestly, Leslie didn’t even really seem to care.”
“Good.” I stared through the window. “The less emotionally involved she gets, the better. People like us don’t have success when it comes to relationships.”
Kason glanced at me but didn’t speak. I could feel his eyes on my face as he turned the wheel to the right and moved us closer to Candice’s apartment. We were mere minutes away, and still, I had no idea what I was going to say.
“You really love her.”
I jerked my head around. My eyes narrowed as I studied Kason’s expression. Part of me expected to find his usual smug, cocky smirk in place, but instead, all I saw behind his icy blue eyes was compassion.
“I could tell,” he said, looking back at the road. “When we all went on that awkward double date. You two were glued at the damn hip.”
“Yeah.” I cleared my throat. “Yeah, I guess.”
Kason laughed. “Don’t screw with me,” he said. “You guess? Come on, man. You love that girl. Just admit it.”
“Of course, I love her!” I ran my fingers through my hair. “But that doesn’t mean a goddamn thing if I can’t get her to talk to me!”
The car sped up beneath me. Kason didn’t say another word until we made it to Candice’s street. I pointed him toward the parking garage, and we pulled up to the guard stand. He held out his hand to stop us and motioned for Kason to roll down the window.
“We’re here to see Candice Smart,” Kason said.
The guard glanced down at his list. A frown appeared on his face. When he looked back at Kason, he shook his head once.
“Sorry, son,” he said. “Miss Smart requested that no visitors be allowed through this evening.”
“My name is Ryan Winters.” I leaned across Kason. “I picked Candice up earlier today. I’ve been here before.”
With a step forward, the guard bent down to get a better look at me. His frown deepened on his face. For the thousandth time that night, I held my breath and waited.
“All right.” The guard straightened up. “I recognize you. Go on in.”
“Thank you.”
He pressed a button in his booth, and the gate slid open. Kason floored it through the gate and whipped around at the first turn.
“All the way to the top,” I told him.
“That was easy,” he muttered. “Old bastard obviously doesn’t care about his job.”
“He knows me.”
Kason darted to the top of the garage and pulled into the first parking space he found. I shoved open the door and got to my feet.
“Wait here, okay?” I said. “Just in case.”
He nodded, and I slammed the door shut. Hurrying forward, I ran into the hallway and stepped up to the elevator. My palm slammed against the button three times before I managed to calm myself down.
I’d been inside this building more times than I could count, but I’d never once felt like this. The urgency I felt to get to Candice was unmatched by any other emotion. All I could think about was the look of betrayal in her eyes when she got in that limousine.
The elevator doors finally opened. I jumped inside and pressed the button for Candice’s floor. My fingers
trembled at my sides as the elevator rose.
As I stepped off on Candice’s floor, my feet carried me forward. Her apartment was at the end of the hall. I’d made this trek just hours earlier, yet it suddenly felt longer. No matter how fast I moved, it seemed like I would never reach her.
Finally, I lifted my fist and rapped on the door.
It creaked open an inch, and I froze.
The door slowly moved another inch inward, but I didn’t take a step inside. Candice must have been in such a hurry that she forgot to lock the door.
“Candice?” I called out, leaning just my head forward.
Straining my ears, I struggled to hear whether she was inside. No sound came from behind the partially opened door, so I stepped closer.
“Candice!”
Still, nothing. Without thinking, I shoved the door the rest of the way open and darted inside. My head spun side to side as I searched for a sign of her.
There was nothing. She obviously wasn’t home, but nothing seemed to be disturbed. I hated myself as I realized how upset she must have been to leave without making sure her front door was closed behind her.
She was heartbroken, and once again, it was all my fault.
I moved farther into the living room and called out for her again, praying she might’ve just been in the bathroom, but when my eyes fell on the coffee table, I knew my prayers would go unanswered.
Candice’s laptop lay in the center of the table, open and blinking. The screen hadn’t yet shut off, so I knew I couldn’t have missed her by much. I wondered if we’d crossed paths on opposite elevators, her speeding toward the ground floor and me rising through the air to reach her.
Staring down at the laptop, I felt my heart speed up. Candice’s web browser was open to an airline’s website. A confirmation number stared up at me.
“Fuck.”
Closing my eyes, I moved back across the room. I suddenly didn’t want to be there anymore. In fact, I wanted to put as much distance between me and that apartment as I possibly could.
When I made it back to Kason’s car, I got inside without a word. I stared angrily through the windshield and waited for Kason to start the engine.