Pursuit For Lucidity (Crashing Waves)

by Marie Jem

  <><><>

  Saturday morning was beautiful with the sun glowing bright in the sky. It was the perfect weather for an outdoor party. Yoga was in order for that morning. I felt so refreshed after yoga. It helped me with stress and anxiety from school and the unstable jobs that kept changing. Dancing was my first love, and yoga was number two.

  After I exercised and showered, I thought I should try on the graduation dress my mother had gotten for me. It was a beautiful lavender Mandalay dress, very tight fitting, revealing all my curves. It seemed a bit sexy to me when I tried it on at the boutique, but my mother assured me it just showed off what other people didn’t have. “Claire, honey, if you have it, flaunt it. With a body like yours, why would you hide in loose, unattractive clothing?” I loved my mom.

  The dress was a perfect fit, but I didn’t have shoes to match. My mother’s closet would do. Anytime I needed to borrow shoes, my mother’s closet was where I shopped. It was filled from top to bottom with premier designer shoes such as Jimmy Choo, Christian Louboutin, and Gucci. I was so glad we wore the same shoe size.

  Just then, my phone beeped to notify me of a new text message.

  Hi Claire, it’s Alex. Is everything to your satisfaction with your tire?

  Hi Alex, my hero…everything is fine and dandy with my car, thanks to you.

  That’s just what I wanted to hear. Listen, I was interested in cashing my rain check this weekend.

  My weekend is packed, Alex. How does next Friday evening sound?

  Well, in that case, since I don’t drink coffee in the evenings, how about dinner?

  He had a point there. I didn’t drink coffee at night either. It had to be dinner and I wasn’t going to decline that.

  Dinner sounds great. You pick the place and just let me know.

  You will be hearing from me soon, Claire.

  I pleaded with my heart to slow down. This was a good thing. I had a whole week to plan. He wouldn’t see me in such a mess as he did that day.

  My stomach began to growl as I was starving and had skipped dinner the night before. I made myself a sandwich and prepared to head out, so I didn’t miss my hair appointment.

  I drove to the hair salon and made it twenty minutes early. Melvin, my hairdresser for years greeted me with his usual smile. “Claire, it’s so good to see you. How have you been? Are you ready for your big day?” he asked.

  “I will be ready after you make me glamorous with your magic touch,” I replied.

  I decided to have my hair curled loosely. I didn’t want an up do, that would be too fancy. I liked my hair down most of the time unless I was exercising. Melvin worked his magic and I was out of there in less than an hour. My mother would start calling every two minutes if I were running late.

  I parked my car in the driveway and made my way inside the house. I loved the entrance, double staircase, huge foyer and cathedral ceilings. It was the kind of home I would love to have a large family in. “Hey, sweetheart!” My dad was just walking out of his office. He probably had to work that Saturday, which was very common in his field.

  “Daddy! I’ve missed you. You’ve been working too hard these days. I’m going to come and steal you one of these days so I can have a few hours with you,” I said. He laughed, hugging me hard.

  “You like what your mother has done with the place in preparation for the party?” he asked.

  How could I have not liked it? My mother had it decorated as if it were my wedding reception. Covered tents filled the large space in the back yard, with chiffons covering the sides. The beautiful centerpieces made with orchids would catch anyone’s eye.

  I decided I should go upstairs and start my makeup and get dressed. My mother said I could borrow any one of her beautiful shoes to complete my look. After I was dressed and in her six inch platform Christian Louboutin’s, I took a look at myself in the mirror and wondered if it were a bit too much for a graduation party. It was too late to change anyway, so my attire would have to do for the evening.

  As I made my way downstairs, I caught my mother at the foot of the stairs gaping at me with her mouth open. “Claire, honey, oh my, you look stunning!”

  “Thanks, mom. I knew you would like it,” I smiled.

  “Honey, take a look at our daughter. Doesn’t she look stunning?” she asked.

  My dad came out of the office to look at me. “I can’t believe this is my little girl,” he said, a sad smile on his face.

  The Mandalay dress fit perfect that day, even better than the day my mother purchased it for me. The heels were going to be a problem, though. I felt my feet throbbing and it hadn’t even been ten minutes since I first put them on. Oh, the things women had to put up with to look good.

  I greeted the guests as they began to arrive. The wonderful compliments kept pouring in about how great I looked and how beautiful my hair was, how beautiful my dress was, and the beautiful shoes.

  “Claire! Congratulations, girl!” My brother Kyle hugged me hard. I hadn’t seen him in months so it felt great to finally be together with the whole family. He had brought his girlfriend, Molly, with him. I really liked Molly. She was so sweet and caring and I was glad my brother was dating someone who loved him so much.

  “Hey Kyle, I missed you so much. Hi Molly, it’s so good to see you again. Gosh, it’s been so long, we need to get together more often,” I said, hugging both of them. “Where’s Calvin? Have you heard from him?” I asked.

  “I just spoke with him, he’s on his way. He should arrive shortly,” Kyle informed me.

  Just as we were speaking about him, he arrived. “Sis! Congratulations! How have you been? You look great by the way. Did you get taller or is it those shoes?” Calvin asked, staring at my shoes, “Those are mom’s shoes, aren’t they?” he asked, whispering.

  I laughed. “Hey Calvin, I missed you, silly. I was just telling Kyle and Molly how we should get together more often, and not only on formal occasions such as this,” I replied.

  We all agreed that meeting for dinner once in a while to catch up would not be such a bad idea.

  “Claire, you look gorgeous!” Cynthia Crow, my parent’s neighbor had just arrived with her husband, Peter. “Congratulations, dear. We are very proud of your accomplishments,” she said, with a warm smile.

  “Thank you, Mrs. Crow, Mr. Crow. Welcome, please make yourselves comfortable,” I said.

  As the guests started pouring in, I was constantly reminded of my throbbing feet. How did women dance in those high shoes all night? I wondered if I would have blisters on my feet the next morning. I hoped not, but my mother always says that beauty sometimes involves pain. I begged to differ at that moment and really missed my tennis shoes.

  My dad had booked a DJ, so my fellow graduates from school looked like they were having a blast. I loved to dance. I had been dancing since I was four years old. Ballet, jazz, a little hip hop, tap, and salsa. Dancing was always something I was good at so my parents encouraged me to dance until the college workload began to get difficult. Then, studying left no time for dance class.

  “May I have your attention, please?” My father had the microphone in his hand and was ready for his speech with my mother by his side. “I would like to thank you all for coming today and sharing this very important day with our family. We are so proud of Claire for all of her accomplishments. We love you, sweetheart. Congratulations,” my father finished his heartwarming speech.

  I thanked him and gave both my parents a kiss.

  “Thank you all for coming. I’m so glad to be sharing this day with all the people I love and care about. I would like to thank my mother, my father, my brothers Kyle and Calvin, my best friend, Katherine,” I looked at Katherine in the crowd and smiled. “You all have been a significant part of my life. And have guided me through thick and thin. I am so blessed to have family and friends whom I know care about me so deeply. I love you all. Now, let the party really begin.” I handed the microphone back to the DJ and hugged my family and Katherine.

/>   “That was so sweet, Claire. Thank you for including me in your speech,” said Katherine.

  “You are the sister I never had,” I hugged her tightly.

  “I guess you’re right, sister,” we both laughed and joined everyone on the dance floor.

  The party started to wind down shortly after midnight. All of the guests congratulated me one more time on their way out and thanked my family for such a wonderful time. I planned to stay at my parents’ house, since it didn’t make sense to drive home so late with my painful feet. I helped clean up and said “goodnight” to my parents and headed upstairs for some much needed shut eye. I decided I should take a bath to relieve my throbbing feet. After the warm bubble bath, I headed to my room and crawled into bed. I would open my gifts in the morning.

  <><><>

  I was running fast. It was dark out and I was running as if someone was chasing me. Wait, someone was chasing me. Oh no! I started to run faster, but the shadow was closer behind me, so close that it was going to catch me. Dry, wilted trees surrounded the path I was running on, as the tallest ones touched the dark, overcast sky above. It was that car again, the white van. I ran as fast as I could to pass it as it was just parked to the side. I approached the van and almost passed it, but the side door slid open as a pair of hands reached out for me. The person chasing me caught me, wrapping their arms around my waist as I collapsed.

  I woke up with a scream. It was that nightmare again. When was this nightmare going to go away? I was drenched in sweat, including my hair. I got up out of bed to change into something dry. My mother knocked on the door, “Claire, sweetheart, are you okay?”

  “Yeah, mom, just a nightmare. Please go to bed, I’m okay now. I love you.” I could hear my mother turn back around and head for her bedroom. She was used to my nightmares by now, but she always wanted to make sure I was all right, since I had awakened screaming again.

  I crawled back into bed, hesitant to fall back asleep and have the same nightmare. I stayed awake as long as I could until sleep found me, and I couldn’t fight it any longer. I didn’t have another nightmare, thankfully, and awoke with the sun piercing into my bedroom through the window shutters. It was going to be a nice day, I told myself as I climbed out of bed, washed my face, brushed my teeth and headed downstairs to have breakfast with my parents.

  The aroma of fresh brewed coffee filled the entire house. My mother was in the kitchen making pancakes and omelets, humming her favorite tunes. “Good morning, sweetheart. Oh, it’s just so good to have you spend the night. It gets really lonely around here for your father and I,” she said. My father was on his laptop most likely working as he looked up. “Good morning, cutie. Come, have a seat next to me. It’s rare that we have breakfast together these days. I want to enjoy every minute of it,” he said.

  “Thanks for making such an amazing breakfast, mom. I will open my gifts after we eat. How does that sound?” I asked. My mother looked excited.

  We went into the living room where all my graduation gifts were neatly organized in one corner. I received a lot of money, gift certificates to different stores, perfume, and a lot of beautiful clothing. My mother was anxious about her gift. She couldn’t wait for me to open it.

  “It’s from your father and I. Go ahead, open it!” she said, impatiently.

  It was a small box. When I shook it, it sounded like jewelry. I opened the wrapping and exposed the gift inside the box. It was a set of keys. I looked up at my parents, wondering what the keys were for. Another car? No, I already had a very expensive car they had gifted me for achieving my bachelor’s degree.

  “Claire, your father and I decided that we should rent out your grandmother’s old condo and move you somewhere safer. You could have your own private garage that is attached to your condominium, so you don’t have to park in a dark, underground parking garage. We have purchased a condominium for you, in a newly developed, gated community in the Walnut District of Encino.” I was speechless. I couldn’t take those keys. They had done so much for me already.

  “Mom, dad, please, this is too big of a gift. I cannot accept this. I have to pay you back somehow,” I said.

  “You do not need to pay the mortgage for now. Your mother and I will help you out as long as you need. Just focus on your career, Claire. When you are financially stable, you will take over the mortgage payment.” My father sounded like he had already done the math.

  “You will only pay temporarily. I want to be able to pay for it myself once I’m on my feet,” I replied.

  My parents agreed to that and I hugged and kissed both of them, my eyes filling with tears at their generosity. My dad was eager to take me to see my new place. We finished eating, changed, and made our way to my brand new home.

  The Walnut District was a brand new community of condominiums providing superb security. As we approached the front gates, my father used one of the new remotes to open the gate to make our way in to this beautiful community. He used another remote for my garage door and we made our way into the garage. How I loved the idea that the garage was attached to the condo. No more parking underground in a dimly lit garage with strangers. As he opened the door to the inside of the condominium, I was taken aback by the beautiful high ceiling, espresso wood floors, granite kitchen with stainless steel appliances and the bathrooms made up of beautiful glass tiles and travertine stone. So modern, so young, it took my breath away.

  “Mom, dad, this place is amazing! I don’t know how to thank you enough.” Tears started to roll down my cheeks.

  “Oh, honey, don’t cry, just say thank you. Your safety is the most important thing to us, you know that,” my mother’s eyes were also filled with tears. I took a tour of my new place, planned the future move with excitement, and we headed back to my parents’ house so I could go home and prepare for my first day in my new job.

  <><><>

  I gathered my things, leaving my mother’s beautiful but painful shoes in her closet and thanked my parents a million more times for their kindness and generosity. I headed home to shower, do yoga, and try to get a good night sleep. I called Katherine to tell her about the new place and she was ecstatic. She was probably even more excited about my new place than I was. We joked about having slumber parties there.

  After some well needed yoga, I showered, prepared my outfit for the morning, and made my way into bed. I needed a good night’s sleep. There was no way I was going to start off my first day at work cranky.

  Chapter 2

  The morning alarm startled me as it awakened me from a very comfortable deep sleep. I was thankful for a nightmare free night. I decided to wear my pinstriped charcoal grey suit with a powder pink blouse. It was a very conservative look, which was what I was going for to be taken seriously. I was very career oriented and had many goals to reach by climbing the ladder in the healthcare organization. I had a quick bite to eat for breakfast with a cup of coffee and headed to the parking garage. I was so glad that I would soon have my own garage, which would make me feel much safer. I always thought I heard noises in the dark parking garage of my grandmother’s condominium complex.

  One thing I really hated about Los Angeles was the traffic. It was so difficult driving five to ten miles an hour to reach your destination, taking at least an hour longer than it should.

  Downtown Memorial Hospital was located in the heart of Downtown, Los Angeles. It was a five-hundred-bed hospital and offered the best care. I felt honored to have been given a position in that hospital.

  After an hour and thirty minutes of traffic, I finally made it to the hospital and parked in the huge employee parking structure. I had to make a stop at the Human Resources Department to complete some required paperwork. Julie Rodriguez, the friendly woman who had called to offer me the position, greeted me with her beautiful smile, “Hello Miss Morgan, and welcome to your first day at Downtown Memorial. There are just a few things I need from you; a copy of your drivers license and I need to take a photo of you for your employee badge and parkin
g pass.”

  After I had my mug shot taken and given my work badge and parking pass, Julie escorted me to the Hospital Administration Department where I would meet my employer and coworkers. “Right this way, Miss Morgan,” Julie pointed in the direction we would be headed in.

  A long walk finally led us to the Hospital Administration Department. It was a very conservative yet warm and friendly environment. All the furniture was mahogany with black leather office chairs. The reception area was a combination of mahogany wood and stainless steel, giving the department a very modern and elegant feel. Julie walked me over to Eleanor, the receptionist who would take it from there. I thanked Julie for her assistance as she headed out of the department.

  “Hello, Miss Morgan, I’m Eleanor. I am the receptionist in this department. Feel free to help yourself and grab a cup of coffee if you’d like.” She walked me over to the kitchen area, which was very large and included a stainless steel refrigerator and a dishwasher.

  “No, thank you, Eleanor, I’ve already had some coffee. Maybe I will pour myself a cup later,” I said.

  Eleanor was a pretty older woman, maybe in her fifties with big brown eyes and short grey hair. She seemed like a very classy lady and I liked her from the minute I met her.

  We walked over to greet my employer, Walter Wells, who was the chief executive officer I would be supporting. “Hello Miss Morgan, I’m so glad you accepted our offer. You did so well in your interview and the panel liked you so much, we would have been very disappointed if you had turned us down.” Walter made me blush with all the positive things he mentioned from the interview. Walter Wells was a very conservative executive, probably in his fifties. He was approximately my height with grayish brown hair and dark brown eyes.

  “Thank you so much, Mr. Wells, I am very honored to have been given this opportunity. I will give you my best at my job,” I wanted to sound humble.