Pursuit For Lucidity (Crashing Waves)

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Pursuit For Lucidity (Crashing Waves) Page 19

by Marie Jem


  As we walked in, I immediately noticed how immaculate my condo was. Marcia had done an amazing job with the cleaning. It felt so good not to have to worry about cleaning at least for the next week.

  “Thank you, Alex, for bringing Marcia to clean this place. What have I done to deserve such a perfect man?” I asked.

  Alex’s face got very serious, “I’m not even close to perfect, Claire. Not even close. I’m the one who should be thankful here, not you,” he replied. “I love you so much, baby. I don’t think it’s possible to put into words how much I love you,” he said as he hugged me tightly. Suddenly, something came to his mind and he let go of me quickly, grabbed his car keys and said, “I’ll be right back, I just have to pick up something from the store,” he kissed me quickly and ran out. What could he possibly need? I decided I’d take a quick shower and slip into something more comfortable.

  He returned less than thirty minutes later with a dozen red roses, “I don’t like to see that vase empty. I promised you I would keep the flowers fresh, and fresh it is,” he said.

  “Aw, Alex, that was so sweet of you. Thank you. I was worried when you sped out of here as if it were an emergency,” I replied.

  “It was an emergency. Your vase was empty,” he pulled me close to him and kissed me. “I’m so full from the sushi. You must be hungry, though, since you didn’t eat much. Do you want to try eating some fruit at least?” he asked.

  “No, Alex. I’m not hungry. Why don’t you just go upstairs and take a shower and I will make some green tea, so you can digest all that sushi you ate,” I said. He went upstairs to shower as I boiled water for tea. His cell phone rang a few times when he was in the shower. I was curious to see the name on the caller ID. The next time it rang, I quietly walked over to the coffee table, where Alex had left the phone and read the caller’s name. It was Howard. I didn’t think much of it. Howard was probably a colleague or a friend of Alex. When his cell phone rang again, he was on his way downstairs. He rushed to answer it, “Hi Howard, how are you? Yes, I know, it’s been almost ninety days. She will be discharged soon. No, she has no idea. I had filed those papers as you recall, but received no signature from her. Howard, this is not a good time, may I call you tomorrow afternoon? Thank you. You do the same,” he hung up the phone.

  He looked uneasy after he hung up the phone, “Sorry baby, it was just some personal business,” he said, with a big sigh. He was very quiet after the phone call. I didn’t want to stick my nose into his personal business, so I just poured green tea for him and chamomile tea for myself. Alex sat there with his head in his hands, thinking about something. I knew something was really bothering him, but I knew if I asked him to talk to me about it, he would just decline.

  “Claire?” he called.

  “What is it, Alex?” I replied.

  “You deserve so much better, you know that?” he said.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked, puzzled.

  “You are such a genuine, beautiful, talented, and smart woman, that you deserve so much better than me. What makes you stay with me?” he asked. Where were all these questions coming from? What was wrong with him?

  “Maybe I stay with you because I love you for you. You’re smart, good looking, honest, caring, and loving. My list could go on and on. What’s with the sudden self esteem issues, Alex?” I quizzed.

  “It’s not self esteem issues, baby. I just wonder sometimes, that’s all. I just want to make sure you’re happy with me because I know that I have never been this happy with anyone before. I can be myself when I’m with you and that’s so important to me,” he said, pulling me close to him, my head resting on his shoulder as he played with my hair, making me calm, relaxed and drowsy. He put his half finished cup of green tea on the coffee table and put my cup next to his. He sat back down next to me, kissing my cheek, then my lips. Just a few moments later we were both naked. Alex carried me upstairs and lay me gently on my bed, kissing every inch of me, before I finally felt him inside of me. Every gentle thrust increased my desire for more. The gentle thrusts turned into quick, deep thrusts until I came and Alex followed. I slept like a baby that night.

  Chapter 10

  That Friday night, my mother had invited us over for dinner. She was very excited when I confirmed that we would indeed be joining them that evening. She really liked Alex and was anxious to see him again. We had carpooled to work, so we would go straight to my parent’s house. Alex insisted we stop by at the bakery to pick up dessert, since my mother had spent most of the day cooking for us. We chose a German chocolate cake. Since we all loved chocolate, it was a safe choice.

  Alex parked his car on my parents’ circular driveway, and walked me to the front door, holding my hand with one hand and the cake with the other. He looked even more handsome that evening. He had changed into a pair of jeans and a white Burberry polo. It was difficult not to keep staring at him, admiring his looks.

  “Is something wrong, baby?” he asked, obviously noticing my stares.

  “No, I’m just enjoying the scenery,” I replied.

  “Oh, Claire, how am I going to keep my hands off of you tonight, with those sexy tight jeans you have on and that low cut top? We may need to sit on opposite ends of that dinner table,” he confessed.

  I rang the doorbell, since I didn’t want to fumble for the keys to the house. My father opened the door, greeting us, “Hey, kids! Hi sweetheart,” he said hugging and kissing me. “Hi, Alex, good to see you again. Claire, your mother is in the kitchen finishing up,” he said.

  Alex had only let go of my hand to shake my father’s hand. He held on tight as we walked through the foyer to the back of the house where the kitchen was. My mother greeted us, taking the cake box from Alex and thanking him. Alex hugged my mother, “Good to see you again, Mrs. Morgan. You have a beautiful home,” he said to my mother.

  “Thank you, Alex. It’s nice to have you over for dinner. I know it’s Friday night and you probably normally have more exciting plans, so it’s really nice that you two agreed to spend it with us. Pat and Cynthia will be joining us also if that’s okay,” she turned to Alex and explained they were the neighbors and had become very close.

  “It smells so good in here, Mrs. Morgan. What are you cooking?” asked Alex.

  “Oh, it’s just some homemade lasagna and baked chicken breast with lemon and basil. It’s nothing too fancy. I can hardly cook compared to your gourmet dishes we enjoyed last time at Claire’s new place,” she confessed.

  “Well, I can tell from the smell of things around here how delicious it’s going to taste. Nothing can beat a mother’s homemade cooking,” he replied. My mother looked charmed by Alex’s response. He had a way with people. He always knew what to say, how to say it, and when to say it. He looked out from the kitchen window, “I really love the backyard,” he said. I took his hand, and led him outside to the backyard.

  “This is exactly the type of house I want when I have children. I would put a swing set on that side,” he said, pointing to the large grassy area in the back. We sat in the gazebo and talked for a while. Alex had so many dreams, so many goals for the future. Even though he had accomplished so much in his life already, it didn’t seem enough for Alex. He wanted more, and that made him even more appealing to me. “One day, Claire. One day,” he said staring up at the stars.

  “Dinner’s ready,” my father called. We got up and walked away from the gazebo and to the house. Pat and Cynthia had just arrived as well. I introduced Alex to them and he greeted them pleasantly, as usual.

  “Pleasure’s all mine, Mr. and Mrs. Crow,” Alex greeted.

  I helped my mother take the food and other last minute items to the table before I took a seat next to Alex, who immediately took a hold of my hand under the table. Pat and Cynthia seemed to have taken a liking to Alex. I had yet to meet someone who could resist his charm.

  My appetite hadn’t returned. All I could do was play with my food. My mother noticed immediately. I could tell fro
m the way she was analyzing me as she did with her patients.

  “Claire, what’s wrong honey? You haven’t touched your food,” she said. Before I could reply, Alex took over, “She hasn’t been eating anything this past week,” he said.

  “I noticed from her weight,” my mother replied.

  Alex whispered quietly, “It’s really delicious, just take a few bites at least,” he pleaded.

  “Okay, I’m trying. Just eat your food and stop treating me like a baby,” I whispered quietly enough, so nobody else could hear. Alex turned back to his meal and ate quietly, not saying much during the rest of the dinner. I tried to eat, as every bite I put into my mouth was by force. My mother had cooked one of my favorite dishes and I couldn’t even swallow it. Everyone else had an empty plate in front of them. I helped my mother take the dirty dishes into the kitchen, so we could bring out the dessert with clean dessert dishes.

  “Claire, what is going on with you? You’re withering away. Look at you. I didn’t want to say anything at first, but this is not healthy. Are you unhappy with Alex or something?” she asked.

  “No, mom, I’m very happy with Alex. I’ve just had a lot of anxiety lately. You know that feeling I get, the premonition that something bad is ahead? I’ve just lost my appetite and I’m trying to get it back. Please don’t treat me like a child because Alex has been trying to spoon feed me this past week and it’s driving me crazy,” I replied, almost in tears.

  “All right, I won’t bother you with it anymore. Just take the dishes out and I will bring the cake,” she said. I took the dessert dishes to the dinner table and handed them out and took my seat. Alex wasn’t paying much attention to me. He was only speaking to my father and the neighbors. He seemed a little irritated. My mother cut a slice of chocolate cake for everyone, including me. The cake didn’t taste like anything to me as I pretended to enjoy it, putting big chunks of it into my mouth, chewing with force and swallowing with more force. I washed it down with plenty of water. Alex was still being cold, not even looking my way. After dessert, my father offered Alex and Pat a Cuban cigar and they headed out to the backyard gazebo area to smoke. Cynthia and I helped my mother clear the dinner table and loaded the dishes into the dishwasher. Cynthia told me how much she liked Alex and how I should hold on tight to him, since there weren’t many men out there like him. I couldn’t disagree with her because I knew Alex was a catch. He was perfect, minus a few moments of disagreements here and there.

  I received a text from an unknown number that was not in my contact list.

  Hi Claire, it’s Melissa. Alex gave me your number, hope that’s okay. He said to contact you to see if it’s okay for Paul and I to come over to his place on Sunday for a barbeque.

  I really liked Melissa and Paul and would be more than glad to spend a day with them.

  Hi Melissa! Sure, that sounds great. I look forward to seeing you again. How is one o’clock?

  Ok, great! One o’clock sounds good. Just can’t have that sleepover because we have to work the next day, but maybe another day, for sure. See you Sunday!

  I was excited that I would see them again. I liked Melissa and Paul a lot. Melissa was a straight to the point type of person, nothing hidden. It was difficult to find people with her personality. Most women were artificial, only saying what they thought people wanted to hear.

  My father, Alex, and Pat came back inside after their cigar experience together. I didn’t know why men liked cigars so much. I always thought they smelled disgusting.

  “You have a very beautiful home, Mr. Morgan,” Alex said, again.

  “Thank you, Alex. Claire, why don’t you show Alex the rest of the house? There’s a pool house in the back as well,” he replied.

  “I would love to see the pool house, Claire,” he replied with his eyes penetrating into mine. It was such a cold look that it gave me chills. I walked Alex to the very far back of the house and into the pool house. The pool house had a bedroom, kitchen, sitting area, and a flat screen television. Alex shut the door of the pool house and grabbed my arm, squeezing it tightly, “What the hell was that at the dinner table, Claire?” he demanded an answer.

  “Ouch, let go of my arm,” I said, pulling my arm out of his grip. “What are you talking about, Alex?” I asked.

  “Don’t ever do that again. You must have thought you were whispering, but everyone at the dinner table heard you. If you don’t want to be treated like a baby, then stop acting like one,” he commanded. “Don’t ever humiliate me like that again. Do I make myself clear?” he said in an angry voice. He almost sounded like a drill sergeant. Why was he so angry? I had just asked him to stop treating me like a baby. I had whispered it, so nobody could have heard. “I’m ready to go when you are,” he said, leaving the pool house. It all just added to my anxiety. That was not what I needed. I walked out of the pool house after Alex and went inside the house. My parents were going to play a game of cards with the Crow’s, so they wouldn’t mind if we left. We said our good bye’s, hugging everyone and thanking my mother for dinner.

  “Please come again,” said my mother before we closed the front door. The entire drive home was silent. Neither one of us uttered a word. It was such an uncomfortable atmosphere. My anxiety kept building and building until I had a million knots tightening in my stomach. I didn’t realize something so little could set him off like that. It was so unusual. It wasn’t like Alex at all. The more I thought about what had happened, the quieter I became. We finally made it to his house, as he parked his Porsche in the garage. He brought my weekend bag inside and took it to the bedroom. I went outside to the verandah and sat down. I needed fresh air and the sound of the ocean waves. I could hear his cell phone ring constantly inside the house. He kept looking at it and declining the calls. He poured himself a glass of scotch over ice and asked me if I wanted something to drink. I declined, since I didn’t have much food in my system anyway. He ignored another call on his cell and slammed it down on the coffee table inside.

  “Let’s go up to the roof,” he commanded. I followed him to the elevator and we headed up to the roof. I sat down on the sofa and tried to warm up my arms with my hands. It was very chilly up there. Alex must have noticed, since he offered to bring a blanket for me. He returned with a soft, cozy blanket and wrapped it around me. He sat next to me, sipping his scotch. He picked up a remote and turn on some music. I could hear Coldplay’s song “What If” playing softly from the speakers. He wrapped his arms around me tightly, “I’m so sorry, Claire. I don’t know what got into me. I just have a lot on my mind and I took it out on you and I was so wrong,” he said.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” I asked.

  “No, I don’t. I’m being very honest. I really don’t,” he confessed. “I promise I won’t try to force you to eat anymore. I didn’t realize it bothered you so much. I’m just worried about you, baby, that’s all. I don’t want you to get sick,” he added genuinely.

  “It’s okay, Alex. It just gets frustrating because I’m trying to eat more and I want to eat more, it’s just this weird feeling of anxiety I have. It’s like this premonition that something bad is going to happen. I know you care and you’re worried about me. I’m sorry if I snapped at you at the dinner table,” I replied.

  “I love you, Claire. Nothing bad is going to happen, I promise. Just promise you’ll never leave me, not matter what,” he pleaded.

  “Why do you keep saying that, Alex? Why do you keep making me promise that I won’t leave you? The other day you made me promise I would never leave you for another man. You must not think very highly of me. I’m confused,” I noted.

  “Just promise, please,” he pleaded.

  “I promise. I’m not leaving if you’re not,” I assured.

  “One day, you and I are going to take a trip to New York,” he said. “I’ve seen where you come from and I want to show you where I come from. In time, Claire, you will know me inside out. There will be no secrets and nothing undisclosed,” he promised.


  Alex turned on the fireplace on the roof and we snuggled on the sofa with the blanket wrapped around us, his arm around my waist. My eyelids were getting heavy and I could feel my stomach growl from hunger, but I knew I couldn’t put anything down. I got drowsier and eventually fell asleep. When I opened my eyes, it was already the crack of dawn. I looked at Alex, who was already awake and watching me sleep. He looked as though he had not slept at all. He didn’t say a word, just got up and helped me off the sofa. He turned off the music, turned off the outdoor fireplace and walked me to the elevator. He kept the blanket wrapped around me, his arm around me. He began kissing me once we were in the elevator. It had been so cold out there on the roof, yet his lips were so warm.

  The elevator opened, but we were still kissing, and continued to kiss as we exited the elevator and walked through the house to the bedroom. Our lips still hadn’t parted and the kisses only got more passionate. We started unbuttoning, unbuckling, and unclasping our clothing as fast as we could. My pulse quickened, my heart raced, and I almost forgot where I was. We both stood there, in the middle of his bedroom, naked, but warm from the heat between us.

  “I want to give you the world, Claire,” he said as he started kissing my neck, my shoulders, and my breasts. The next thing I knew I was on his bed with his tongue between my legs, his fingers moving in and out. Every time I would get closer to coming, Alex would stop, making me plead for more as he entered me, causing me to convulse. He came shortly after me and pressed his chest on top of my breasts. Neither one of us wanted to move, neither one of us could move.

  “You are my world, Alex,” I said. He finally removed himself out of me and we fell asleep wrapped around one another.

  <><><>

  I wasn’t sure what time it was when I awakened, but Alex was still in bed, awake, watching me sleep, “I’m going to make breakfast, sleeping beauty,” he smiled. “Do you have a taste for omelets or pancakes or both?” he asked.

 

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