Pursuit For Lucidity (Crashing Waves)

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Pursuit For Lucidity (Crashing Waves) Page 47

by Marie Jem


  Laura was the first to speak after Taryn left the room. “Only she would say something so uncomfortable,” she said. We all agreed and laughed. It was getting late and everyone headed back to daily routines. The hugs, kisses, and good health wishes were endless. After everyone left, Alex laid down next to me, “Guess what?” he asked. “The doctor said that if you feel good tomorrow, he may discharge you, so you will be home in time for Thanksgiving,” he beamed.

  “Oh, Alex, I really hope so. I really am feeling much better. My headache is milder and I could take oral pain medication for my ribs. My arm is manageable as long as I don’t try to use it,” I replied.

  “I’m not working tomorrow. I asked one of my colleagues to cover the surgery. It’s very minor and he’s pretty good, so I’m going to spend the day with you and hopefully take you home,” he smiled.

  “I have a feeling tomorrow is going to be a very nice day,” I winked.

  “It is, indeed. Now, get some rest, so you can prove you’re ready to go home tomorrow,” he commanded.

  “I know, I know. Doctor’s orders,” I replied.

  “I’m going to grab a change of clothes from my locker and shower,” he replied, kissing me softly on the lips before heading out the door.

  As Alex was heading out the door, Kristen and Mandy walked in with flowers and balloons. Alex greeted them and excused himself, since he wanted to shower and change.

  “Hey, girl,” Kristen said as she walked over to me, putting her hand on the top of my head as a mother would to her child, “I’m glad you’re all right. I’m so sorry about the baby,” she said with compassion.

  “Hi, Claire,” Mandy wanted to give me a hug, but recalled the broken ribs and didn’t want to hurt me. “It’s good to see you in one piece. I wanted to come with Stefano yesterday, but work always gets in the way of what I want to do,” she said, chuckling.

  “Thank you. I’m so glad you two came. You girls didn’t have to go out of your way. I know it’s a busy week with Thanksgiving around the corner and all,” I replied.

  “You’re definitely missed in dance class, Claire,” Kristen began. “It’s not the same without you. I hope someday after you’re back on your feet again, you can return,” she said.

  “I hope so. Let’s see what the future holds for me,” I replied.

  Alex returned shortly, showered and changed into clean scrubs, with his wet hair fallen partially over his eye. Kristen and Mandy looked like two star struck teenagers in his presence. I didn’t blame them, as even I felt that way at times.

  After Kristen and Mandy left, I asked for pain medication, as it was getting more painful to take deep breaths. The nurse came back with it and pushed it into the IV. I had talked and laughed so much with my friends and family visiting that day, that I had overexerted myself. I was drowsy in no time and could hear Alex mumbling something in my ear about how much he loved me. I tried to keep my eyes open, but failed. I couldn’t wait to get out of that hospital and sleep in my own comfortable bed.

  <><><>

  I was cleared for discharge the following morning and couldn’t be happier. The doctor told me I would have to rest and take it easy for the next six weeks until my ribs healed completely. I was quiet on the drive home, quiet enough for Alex to question what I was thinking about.

  “I’m thinking about taking a nice warm shower and washing my hair,” I confessed. Alex laughed and promised he would take care of that as soon as we got home.

  What a relief it was to walk into my condo, knowing that I would be in the comfort of my own home during my time of healing. Alex helped me up the steps to take a shower. He undressed me slowly and assisted me into the shower. He undressed as well and joined me, as he had promised to help me wash my hair. The warm water felt wonderful on my skin. Alex shampooed and conditioned my hair and lathered my body and was very careful with the areas of my body that were still very tender from the fall.

  I felt a sudden emptiness and couldn’t help but begin to cry. It hurt to cry, as it was hard enough to breathe normally due to my fractured ribs. Alex held me close and assured me that everything was going to be all right.

  “We’re going to get through this together, baby, I promise,” he assured.

  I knew we would get through it, but I didn’t know when or how. I was glad Alex had taken the remainder of that week off and I wouldn’t be alone. I was glad the following day was Thanksgiving, as I had plenty to be thankful for.

  He turned off the shower and helped me get out, dried me off, helped me into my clothes, applied the splint to my forearm that he had removed before the shower, and dried my hair. There wasn’t anything Alex wouldn’t do for me. It was clear to me that he would move mountains for me if he could.

  Alex’s sister Melissa and her boyfriend Paul were headed to the hospital when Alex told them I had been discharged and was home. They paid me a visit with flowers and balloons as well. My condo was filled with beautiful flowers and balloons. Melissa was so happy to see me that she hugged me quite hard, then realized that wasn’t comfortable for me.

  “Oh, I’m sorry, Claire. I should be more careful. I’m just so glad to see you on your feet after what I heard happened to you,” she said.

  Paul agreed with her, “So glad to see you’re doing well, Claire,” he said. Melissa had asked me to a fashion show, which was just a few weeks away, but I had to decline. She understood that I probably wouldn’t be completely healed by then.

  “I was really looking forward to it, Melissa. I was going to call you and let you know I would come, but unfortunately I have to pass this time,” I explained.

  “No worries. We just want you to get better, so you can put this behind you. There’s light at the end of the tunnel for you and Alex. This is just a bump in the road,” she assured.

  After Melissa and Paul left, I felt a bit better. Alex lit the fireplace, put on a funny movie, and made popcorn and hot cocoa. I ended up to be the boring date, since I fell asleep less than twenty minutes into the movie. When I awakened, I was in my bed with Alex asleep beside me. I took a hold of his hand before I fell asleep again. It was a sense of security, holding onto him. It made me feel as though the nightmares would vanish as long as I held tightly to his hand. With those thoughts, I drifted off to a dreamless sleep.

  <><><>

  The days passed by very slowly with Alex at work and me at home with nothing to do but rest, so I could heal quickly before Christmas. My follow up visit with the doctor had gone very well and the chest x-ray showed I was almost back to my old self, however I was to be off work for at least another month. I had set an appointment with Dr. Holmes as well to ensure I did not have any more surprise pregnancies in the future.

  “I think an intrauterine device is a great option for you, Claire. You don’t have to remember to take a pill and if you decide you want to try to get pregnant in the future, we will just remove it. It’s as simple as that,” she explained.

  I liked the idea of simple and agreed to the procedure she promised would be quick. I felt comfortable with Dr. Holmes and trusted her decision. I hadn’t told Alex about my birth control plans because he wanted to try for another baby as soon as humanly possible. I wanted to take my time and preferred to be married before having children, but Alex didn’t know that, as he would probably propose right away and I didn’t want that kind of a proposal.

  Alex and I were going to meet for lunch that afternoon, but it was still a bit early and I had a few minutes to visit Laura before then.

  “Hey, Claire!” Laura jumped up from her desk when she saw me and hugged me as if she hadn’t seen me in ages. She gave me the scoop about work, since I had been home for a few weeks.

  I met Alex shortly after my visit with the ladies in the office. “Hi, baby. It feels good to be able to have lunch with you again,” he said, smiling. We walked to the Cuban deli and ordered sandwiches. As we ate, I let Alex in on my visit to the gynecologist.

  “Is everything all right? Did she examine you?�
�� he asked.

  “She did and everything is great,” I replied. I told Alex about the device that Dr. Holmes inserted into my uterus to prevent pregnancy. He frowned, since it wasn’t something he wanted to hear.

  “Look, Alex, I know you want a baby like nothing else in this world, but you have to take my feelings into consideration as well. I may not be ready today or tomorrow, but maybe I will be ready in six months or one year or even two years. I’m going to go home and plan how we will be decorating our Christmas trees,” I smiled.

  “You are one woman who knows what she wants, Claire,” he replied, leaning over to plant a soft kiss on my lips.

  We had decided we would have two Christmas trees, one in my condo and one in Alex’s house in Malibu. We got my tree first and decorated it that night before we headed for his house for the weekend. The tree we got for Alex’s house was extremely large, since his house was very big compared to my small condo. We had to use a ladder to decorate it.

  I couldn’t wait for Christmas because I wanted to see his reaction when I gave him his gift. He finally put the angel on the top of the tree and climbed back down from the ladder and stood next to me, observing the masterpiece. He poured a couple of glasses of wine, which we sipped on next to the fireplace. The smell of fresh pine from the tree was intoxicating. I noticed a fire in his eyes when I looked into them. We hadn’t made love since the miscarriage, not because the doctor had restricted it, but because I wasn’t ready emotionally or physically. I had a feeling everything was going to change that night.

  Alex took the glass from my hand and set it on the side table next to his. He held me from my waist, pulling me close to him. I hesitated, as I still had pain from the healing fractures in my ribs, “I’m sorry, baby. I will be gentle, I promise,” he said, loosening his grip. His kisses made my heart skip a few beats.

  “I’ve missed you,” I said as I responded to his passionate kisses.

  “Oh, baby, you cannot even begin to imagine how much I want you right now,” he replied as his kisses continued to send shivers down my spine.

  I stood up and took his hand and began walking toward the bedroom, but Alex tightened his grip on my hand and pulled me back toward him, “No, that’s too far away. I want you here,” he said, directing me toward the sofa across from the fire. His lips didn’t leave mine as he unbuttoned my blouse with one hand and unfastened my bra with the other. He pushed off the empty ornament boxes from the sofa, dropping them onto the floor, as he almost tore off the remainder of my clothing. He lay me down on the sofa as his warm, bare chest rested gently on my breasts, his soft, moist lips pressed against mine. His lips shifted toward my breasts, my abdomen, and finally lower and lower, as his tongue stopped between my thighs. I moaned in pleasure, as it had been a while since we made love. His tongue continued to move in circles as he slowly added his fingers, in and out. I was so close to coming when Alex stopped, pulled out his fingers and began working his lips back up to my abdomen, breasts, neck, and finally my lips again. In no time, I felt him inside of me, moving in slow motion and igniting my fire like the fire burning across the way. My heart began to race as my breathing quickened. His blue eyes glowed with passion in that dim room as they gazed into mine.

  “Tell me what you want,” he commanded.

  “Deeper,” I pleaded.

  “Is that all?” he asked.

  “Faster,” I pleaded.

  As he pushed himself deeper inside of me and quickened his pace, I lost control and began to convulse in pleasure, as my nails dug deep into his back. He didn’t seem to care about the deep scratches on his back as he came with a loud groan.

  <><><>

  On the morning of Christmas, I opened my eyes to admire the beautiful blue ocean from his bedroom window. Only in California could you enjoy such a beautiful warm winter morning, gazing out into the ocean free from fog or snow. When I turned to face Alex, his eyes were open as well. He had been waiting for me to awaken, so we could open our Christmas gifts.

  “Merry Christmas, beautiful,” he said.

  “Merry Christmas, Alex,” I replied. “Let’s open our presents,” I said, jumping out of bed and pulling his hand to get him out of bed.

  What I had gotten for Alex was very sentimental. It was a white gold necklace with a car tire charm. It looked very similar to the tire and rims on my car. I had it custom made by an Armenian jeweler in Downtown, Los Angeles who my father always did business with. The rubber part of the tire was made from black onyx and the rest was white gold. Our names and the day we met in the mall parking lot were engraved around the tire if you looked closely. It was a very masculine piece of jewelry with so much sentimental value.

  “Oh, Claire, you put so much thought into this gift. There’s so much meaning here. You’re amazing, baby,” he said as his eyes lit up. “I-I can’t put into words how much I love it. I’m never taking it off,” he said as he put it around his neck. “If it wasn’t for your flat tire, we probably wouldn’t be sitting here right now,” he said as he kissed me. “Thank you, baby. I love you,” he said as he continued to kiss me.

  “You’re welcome. I’m glad you like it,” I replied.

  “Like it? I love it! Almost as much as I love you,” he confessed.

  “I love you too, Alex. You’re my world, remember?” I replied.

  “My gift doesn’t really have any sentimental value, unfortunately, but I hope it’s something you like,” he said.

  I reached under the tree and found a small, lightweight box about the size of a small notebook. I couldn’t guess what the contents were as Alex kept saying, “Nope, that’s not it,” so I just gave up and unwrapped the box. As I opened the box, I noticed the contents were airline tickets for two. I took a closer look and noticed he had gotten two first class tickets to New York, leaving on December 27, which was only two days away.

  With my eyes wide, I asked, “We’re going to New York?”

  “If that’s all right with you,” he replied with a grin.

  “All right with me? Oh, Alex, you know how badly I’ve always wanted to take a trip to New York,” I replied.

  “Then you better start packing, baby, because we leave in two days from today,” he smiled. “I figured, since you won’t be returning to work until mid January, I’ve taken time off until then as well, so you and I can ring in the New Year in New York. My folks are dying to meet the saint who put a smile back on my face,” he said.

  I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him nonstop. “This is the best Christmas ever,” I confessed. “You better start packing your things, so we can head to my place, so I can pack as well,” I noted.

  “Yes ma’am, but I have something else in mind at the moment,” he said as he carried me into the bedroom.

  <><><>

  Alex had booked a late night flight, so he could work on the day we were leaving to New York. I had finished last minute packing and decided to sit down and open that days mail and pay as many bills online as I could before we left town. I sorted through the junk mail and recycled all the unwanted junk mail. I came across an envelope that didn’t include a return address. My name and address were typed and I noticed it had been postmarked in Los Angeles. I opened it to find a typed message.

  Dear Claire,

  This message is from someone who dearly cares about you. The man who you are in love with and who claims to be madly in love with you is not the perfect man you think he is. Run while you can. Run before it is too late. Don’t go to New York with him. Look what happened to Angela and know that you will be just like her if you stay with him. This is your chance to back out. Find a man who doesn’t have any skeletons in his closet.

  Anonymous

  Who was this letter from? I kept reading it over and over again until I had it memorized. What skeletons would Alex have in his closet that I didn’t know about? I thought I knew everything there was to know about his past with Angela. I couldn’t tell Alex about the letter, especially on the day we were leaving f
or New York.

  I heard his car pull up and folded the letter as quickly as I could, shoved it back into the envelope and put it in the inside zipper pocket of my purse and continued to sort through the mail as if nothing had happened. I heard the front door open, “Hey, baby, are you all packed up and ready?” he asked.

  “Hey, Alex. Uh, yes, I’m all ready. I was j-just doing the bills until you got home,” I replied.

  “Is everything all right?” he asked, as he looked into my eyes.

  “Yes, everything is fine. Why?” I asked in a shaky voice.

  “You just look a bit nervous, that’s all,” he replied.

  “I’m an anxious flyer when the flight is over an hour long. Plus, I’m nervous about meeting your parents,” I said.

  “Oh, come on, baby. Don’t be nervous about them,” he said, taking my hands into his and kissing them. “They already love you and you’re going to love them,” he assured. He showered, changed, and loaded the suitcases into his truck and we were on our way to Los Angeles International Airport in no time.

  I tried and tried, but couldn’t get the letter out of my mind. I was so angry to receive such a message when I was so excited about the trip.

  We sat at the gate and sipped on hot tea while we waited to board the plane. As I observed Alex, trying to dig deep to see if I could sense any secrets, lies, or skeletons in his closet, I recalled what my grandmother would always tell me, “Never judge a person by what other’s say because the same sun which melts the ice also hardens the clay.”

 

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