“Come on! You must focus harder!” he shouted at the group. “In the name of God, I command you to leave this boy at once! He has given us power and dominion over you. You must obey unclean spirit!”
The words cut and slashed me, but there was anger in his tone. My break had come and I jumped all over it. Frustration gave me power. I breathed in the anger and used it to fuel my attack.
"God help us! Look!" Cried Justin.
I gritted down on my teeth and grabbed the small crucifix the priest had placed on the boy’s forehead. The skin on the boy’s hand sizzled like bacon on a hot frying pan. We both screamed in anguish but I was determined to hang on. I placed the crucifix on the boy’s chest in an inverted fashion, a black mark of burnt fleshed carved into his chest. The priest gasped. I inhaled enough of his disbelief to seize control of the boy’s vocal cords. In the deepest, most vile voice I could make, I taunted the group. “You think you can force me out!” I growled. “I’ll never leave. Take your God and get out!" The musty air reeked of vile repulsiveness. The candles in the room went out in a flash, matching the intensity of my rage. The urine soaked bed the boy had been laying on raised three inches off the ground and slammed back down.
“We need to stop!” shouted Monika. "The demon turned the exorcism. It’s becoming too violent. It's is in control now!"
"In the name of God, I command you to leave this boy and return to the hottest hell at once!" The priest fell to his knees and recited one last Hail Mary. I was knocked all the way to the basement, clinging to a sewer pipe below the old farmhouse. Nothing but blackness lay beneath me.
“We need to rest and regroup. We will try again tomorrow night.” I could hear Monika's voice above me.
“No,” the priest said. “I can’t go on. I haven’t the strength. Its will is too powerful."
I held on this round, but for how long. I didn’t have the strength raise myself back up to the boy’s room. I laid my body across the pipe and hung my head over. There was a small, faint, circle of light far far below. The fires of hell waiting to engulf me. Tears brought pain throughout the night. I was reminded of my first investigation, how Monika and I laughed about my becoming a “demonic prince of hell.” A self-fulfilling prophecy come to light. Old memories of my childhood began to surface. A little boy picking up an injured Blue Jay and pleading with his mother to allow him to keep it in the garage so he could nurse it back to health. A grade schooler playing baseball with his friend’s while his mother called him in for supper. “I’ll eat fast, I’ll be right back!” he shouted to his friends. A young man nervously getting ready for his first high school dance. My innocence ripped from my soul. I cried myself to merciful unconsciousness.
***
The crunching of gravel under tires woke me. I couldn’t tell how much time had passed but the sun was fading. The rest had restored some of my strength which I used to pull myself back into the house. The air was lighter. It was harder to breath. The front door swung open. Three men dressed in black had entered along with Monika, Corbin, and Justin. My body trembled at what might await after this fight. I hurried up the stairs and dove into the boy. The previous night’s ritual weakened the spiritual connection I had with the boy. Hanging on to him was like trying to climb a rope covered in mucus.
I could hear voices coming from downstairs. Monika was addressing the group. “We need to teach the entity about redemption and rehabilitation. It must know that it's not lost. No soul is ever lost in the eyes of God.”
“Entity. You mean demon, right?" I didn’t recognize this voice. “Do you think the ritual worked?” The voice asked.
“I am afraid the entity will be back.” Monika said.
Corbin was the next to speak. “Wait a minute, I can feel a calmness in the room right now. It seems to have left."
“I am afraid it's only a temporary calmness. The ritual tends to work well in the short term but in the long term it is relatively ineffective.” Monika said.
“How come?” The unfamiliar voice asked.
“The ritual of exorcism only provides a Band-Aid for the real underlying problem. It can break the connection an entity has to its host, but it doesn’t send it to the light. In order to completely resolve the issue the entity must be healed. Exorcisms tend to be violent and confrontational in nature which ultimately only brings more violence. The entity will feed off of this violence. They need the dark energy to survive in our world. Right now I'm guessing the entity is regrouping and planning it’s revenge,” Monika said.
“How do we heal them?” Corbin asked.
“It's not easy. First the entity needs to have a desire for healing. For unknown reasons it choose a path that lead it away from God. It's their free will choice to do so. In order to be healed they need to find the path that leads them back to God. We can help them do this but they have to want our help. For all we know it has been suffering in hell for thousands of years. It's not likely to change its ways anytime soon.” Monika said.
“You said it can be done though, right?” Asked the unfamiliar voice.
“Yes, with God all things are possible. All can be healed and rehabilitated. All can be brought back to the light,” she said.
“Even if they are sent to hell,” Justin said.
“Nobody is sent to hell Justin. These entities find themselves in a hell of their own personal creation. They are simply in a place where they are comfortable.”
“How can anyone be comfortable in a place like that?" Justin said. “That's insane!”
“It would seem that way but do you really think these lowly beings would be happy in heaven where they are surrounded by love and light. No, these beings only know pain. They're familiar with it and it makes them comfortable. In a way, God is showing mercy towards them because of this.” Monika said.
“How do we make them unfamiliar with it?” Corbin asked.
“We have to show them another way. The way of love, kindness, and forgiveness. This can be taught. It's likely these beings have never known unconditional love. We must find a way to show them,” Monika said.
Monika led the group with a cleansing prayer. The room became cloudy, filled with white smoke that dissolved the depressive black smoke. The white smoke burned like acid when the boy took in breathes. I summoned all remaining strength and cruel intention. I reached for the lamp standing on the nightstand next to the bed. I couldn’t move it an inch. I twisted hard on the boy's vocal cords but they produced no sound, as if they were made of vapor which I could not grasp.
The prayers became stronger, intensifying the pain to excruciating levels. A bluish white fire surrounded the boy when I grasped for control of his mind. My hands burned, the fire preventing me from entering his brain. I looked towards Justin. He was shaking with fear, maybe even worse than I was, sensing I was losing the fight.
Monika instructed the boy to take back control of his body. “You cannot have my peace.” He repeated over and over. Each mantra delivering a powerful blow to my will. “I am a spirit of peace, love, and God.” Blood coughed from my lungs as he prayed. My body grew weaker. A hole burned through my chest, unbearable. I was dying.
I glanced towards Monika who fell to her knees in prayer. She reached over to grab Justin’s hand compelling him to do the same. Justin pulled his hand away, stood up, and ceased his prayers.
“What are you doing?” shouted Monika. “Keep praying!”
Justin didn’t want to pray. He knew if he did he would lose. His plan to use me to kill Corbin and claim Gateway for himself would fail, but he saw no other choice. He took the coward’s way out. “Sorry Monika, it’s just so intense.”
Monika calmly smiled towards him. Her voice was sweet. “It’s ok, we'll do it together. Spirit of darkness, leave this boy in peace. There is love waiting for you in the light. The darkness can be healed. Let this act of kindness be your first step to salvation. Let the boy go." A ball of glowing light surrounded Justin and Monika as she prayed.
"You don't u
nderstand. There is no healing for the things I've done. There is no forgiveness, no salvation for a wretch like me."
I floated over to Justin to slow his prayer. A blinding flash of light shot down from the ceiling, knocking me out as if I dove off the deep end with no water. I laid outside of the boy, naked and bare.
Black smoke cleared the room, giving way to the white. I could see the boy's soul, it shined a thousand times brighter than the sun. He smiled warmly towards me, able to see the outline of my spirit. My heart stopped, legs chained to the floor.
"Why are you smiling?" I asked the boy.
“The Son of God is right behind you.”
Chapter 20
Gripped by a dreadful presence and hurled through the floorboards at breakneck speed, I reached for a sewer pipe to slow my fall. My arm shattered to oblivion. White hot pain screamed up my shoulder as I shot like a bullet towards the ring of fire below. My neck snapped, every vertebrae destroyed, when I crashed into the nightmare that was mine for eternity.
Abandoned, forsaken, dead. They say that the glories of heaven are beyond human comprehension. Well, it works the other way too. No mind could possibly comprehend and understand the torment I experienced in the lowest hell. I would have given anything for my spirit to be annihilated, vaporized, and wiped from existence. No such mercy came.
Depraved beings of evil devised every way possible to torture me. They brought me my former captives and handed me a knife. “Cut them slave!” They yelled. One-by-one I jabbed the knife into their stomachs and twisted until lungs sprayed blood into my face. “This is what you wanted all along! Unleash your anger on their pitiful souls!"
My teeth were worn down from gnawing on my forearm. I learned that if I inflicted physical pain upon myself I could temporarily block the mental and spiritual pain that was mine to bare while I dug the knife in deeper and they screamed for it all to end.
"Stop! Master has a gift for you." The voice was familiar, the doctor had found me in my darkest despair.
"Leave me alone." I whispered. "There is nothing more you can do to break me. Congratulations. You've won."
The doctor bowed his head. "You are the one who has bested me." I raised my brow, unable to comprehend his meaning. "Follow," was the only command as he waved his bony finger at me. My knees buckled as I stood up and followed the doctor out of my prison.
"Hurry, master is preparing his generous gift."
"Bring the boy to me slave. Now!" A whip made of razor wire lashed out, striking the doctor and knocking him to the ground. Again, the whip lashed out, beating the doctor until he was reduced to a spongy pile of liquid. It sounded like crying.
"We served him in life, now Sunny serves us forever." The demon laughed.
I looked upon the quivering pile of mess on the floor. I hadn't recognized him as he had mastered the art of biological manipulation. I had been so afraid when he first appeared in my room. Now I took pity.
"I present to you, Sunny Miller. The brilliant doctor." The demon's laugh bellowed throughout the room.
"He calls himself a doctor. He couldn't diagnose a common cold. He certainly couldn't diagnose you." The demon's voice was terrible and disgusting.
"Me." I said.
"Your soul, why it's so much darker, what an idiot. Said he couldn't find anything, but look how you turned out. Although, to his credit he was the one who wanted to go after you. He saw potential in you where the rest of us saw a spineless monkey." The demon bellowed laughter.
"Get up slave!" The demon yelled at Sunny. A dark energy formed around the mess on the floor. Sunny was lifted and bent back to his previous form. "Fetch this boy's prize."
I was so grateful to be given a second of relief from torturing that I thanked the demon standing in front of me. In a hate filled rage, it struck my face with incredible force and knocked me fully to the ground.
“Get up!” It yelled, throwing me into the next room. Stone cold ground met me face first. A battle axe the demon carried landed next to me. The grinning blood soaked ivory skull begged me to become its master. The sound it made when steel struck stone was one of pure evil.
“Get up swine!” The demon commanded. I quickly scrambled to my feet to avoid another blow. I recognized the room that surrounded me and felt an odd sense of comfort one gets from seeing something familiar. It quickly soured.
The demon flashed images on the wall of Sunny in my bedroom foretelling my future. I watched myself torture Mr. Channing and vehemently lash out, “It’s never going to happen!” I sobbed uncontrollably. The beatings came harder and harder with each tear I cried. I was broken.
Sunny emerged from the hallway, dragging a chain behind him. My body shuddered and puked green bile all over the floor.
"Stop! Not this, I'm begging you, I've done too much evil to this man. I've betrayed his trust for my own personal cowardice. Please, no more. Take me, beat me, I deserve to be punished. I'm ready."
"Maybe I was right about you, you are a spineless monkey." The demon's eyes smoked, signaling anger.
I turned to the demon in desperation. “Please! I beg your mercy. You can’t. You can’t make me do this. Anything but this!” I cried, begging for release.
"How dare you react this way to my humble offering." The demon leaned into my face. "No one refuses my gifts. You must complete the ritual."
"I can't. I won't. I won't inflict any more torture on Reverend Channing. I've done enough already."
"Very well. I admire your willpower. There's still humanity in you, that's a shame, but it will be beaten out of you. You have two choices. Except my generous gift, or complete the ritual of dehumanification. The ritual will sever your soul from your spirit. You will experience pain and torture beyond your wildest imaginations but you will be free to refuse my gift."
I bowed my head. The demon was giving me a chance at salvation, not with him, but with myself. Self-sacrifice for the good of another, the only path to redemption. My betrayal of the Reverend had corrupted my soul beyond repair. Freeing myself from it would be my last chance to save it.
"Why is it? Why is my soul so black?" I asked my new master, if only to delay the inevitable.
"You really don't get it do you? You were given a great gift."
"I don't give a damn about moving pens." I said.
"I'm not talking about pens."
"What then?" I asked.
"Mental illness."
"You mean my anxiety, some gift. I guess I can thank the dark figure, I mean Sunny, for that."
"No, he may have tightened the rope, but it was all you."
"Yeah, tell me then. How is mental illness such a magnificent gift? It's a plague and a dreaded curse."
"Because you suffered, you learned grit and perseverance. Look how many souls you overpowered and controlled down here. Even willing yourself to return to earth. Not even my most powerful magicians can pull that off but once every hundred years. Without fear and anger to drive you, you would have never gotten out of Sunny's basement. Why do you think your tormentors let you off so easy? They were afraid, afraid of your revenge."
"So my illness turned me to a life of horror. Some gift." I said.
"Your illness made you strong. Your free will made you like us, bound in hell. You knew full well the consequences of driving the boy at the farmhouse further into madness. You could have saved him. You had the knowledge to help, but chose an alternative path. Instead of using your knowledge to help your fellow man, a man you should have known intimate sympathy for since you suffered the same affliction, you chose to strike back. Payback for abandonment by a so called loving God. That's why you are so dark. That is why you are so powerful. You made a direct mockery of the adage that has plagued us throughout human history. Father forgive them for they know not what they do."
The demon paused before speaking, seemingly taking in the moment. "You knew exactly what you were doing."
The awful realization came, because I suffered, I knew how to twist and mangle a min
d. Instead of sympathetic compassion, I used my knowledge for evil. I had no excuses. My mother wasn't a tailor. She never sewed my new blue jeans.
Dr. Z. said it was a gift. I could have used my experience to help the boy heal. Justin and Corbin gave the boy hope simply by acknowledging his pain. Enough hope to cast me back to the fires of hell.
The demon was right. To lose my humanity would be a great act of mercy. A great gift. To no longer feel the pain and remorse of my actions. To no longer care. To no longer love.
"I choose death."
"Very well." The demon said, motioning towards the doctor who was still standing in the entryway.
The doctor jerked hard on the chain in his hand. My entire being shook with the horror of having to look the Reverend in the eye, having to rip his heart out one last time.
A loud thud sounded from out in the hallway as he began pulling the chain towards him. I closed my eyes before looking up. Allison’s neck was entwined in an iron collar on the other end. A trail of blood fell off her body as she was dragged along the jagged stone floor before being forced onto a table and strapped down. The demon stopped and looked towards me while extending its bony finger towards her. “You know what to do.”
"No! This wasn't part of the deal!" I screamed.
"Destroying true love is the only way to complete the ritual. The only way to sever the soul from the body."
"No! I won't do it!"
"Then watch. It makes no difference. Your agreement to the deal is the glue that binds. I will warn you. I tend to prefer taking it nice and slow. An artist should never be rushed."
"Wait, I grabbed the demon's axe. I'll do it. I don't want her to suffer, I'll be light and quick."
Allison writhed and strained seeing the axe in my hand. The gag in her mouth prevented her from speaking, forcing her to choke down her own vomit. I ran the axe over her naked body and looked up at the demon, his eyes wild with excitement. I glanced back at Allison. Tears rolled down her face. My own tears blurring my vision. If you do this, your last shred of humanity will be lost. You are now truly on the threshold of death.
The Resurrectionist Page 17