by Logan Jacobs
“Save it,” Maaren growled, and the tone of her voice surprised me. “We know you got sent a hundred grand last week. You’re in deep, deep shit here, Lyel.”
He sucked in a deep breath and held it so long I thought he might pass out. His ice-blue eyes moved wildly between Maaren and I, and his hands tugged at the cuffs. His wrists had already begun to turn red where he pulled.
“You don’t understand, she’s trying to kill me!” he exclaimed. “She set me up and now she’s trying to kill me! Didn’t you see that bomb? She wants all the evidence destroyed, including me.”
“Oh, I saw the bomb alright,” I replied bitterly. “Coerced or not, you’re on the hook here, Lyel.”
“I can tell you things!” he finally said, his voice tinged with desperation. “Give me immunity, and I’ll tell you everything!”
“Uh-uh,” I replied. “That’s not how this works. You tell us everything, and then we decide if you get immunity.”
“You’re a filthy murderer, Lyel!” Maaren hissed. “We’re not even sure if they’re going to let you live.”
“But I…” Lyel trailed off as he worried his bottom lip. Danira was right. This was a desperate moron who just got in with the wrong people, but he was still a killer.
“Alright, suit yourself,” Maaren said, and then she spun around toward the door. Just as she put her hand on the cool metal handle, Lyel sprang up from his seat, stopped only by the cuffs around his wrists.
“Okay! Okay!” he gasped out, and Maaren turned back around and shot me a wink.
“Good choice,” I told him as Maaren and I sat down in the wooden chairs across the table.
“What do you want to know?” he asked, his voice on the verge of tears.
“Who paid you?” I demanded, and I watched his expression for any hint of a lie.
Lyel’s eyes were wide as he shook his head.
“I don’t know,” he answered quietly. “I just came home one day and there was a letter telling me what to do. It had a date and address and a picture of the lady. Said all I had to do was kill her. Two days later, the money was in my account, and a second letter appeared. It only said if I didn’t do it, they’d make the money look stolen. I swear, that’s all that happened.”
“And you never thought to question this?” Maaren asked in astonishment. “Likely story.”
“Hey, lady,” Lyel looked at her seriously, “when a miracle like that happens, you don’t question it.”
“If by miracle you mean murder,” I growled out, and to my surprise, Lyel’s face fell.
“I feel awful,” he whispered.
“But apparently not awful enough.” My hand involuntarily slammed on the table as I spoke. “You still killed the poor woman.” Maaren placed a hand softly on my thigh, and I calmed down instantly.
“What about Amy?” Maaren asked gently. “What do you know about her?”
“Nothing at all,” he shrugged. “She was just there and told me I ‘better stay quiet, or else.’ Then she left with that ugly bird baby.”
“Did she mention where she was going?” I demanded, and Maaren’s hand gripped my thigh a little tighter.
“No,” Lyel responded. “She made sure I slit the lady’s throat, and then she went out the window. Amy said I had to stay until she bled out. I think I was in shock. Next thing I know, you guys are in the house.”
“Nice try, asshole,” I growled. “But murderers don’t get to play the sympathy card.”
“Alright,” Maaren said, and then she stood up abruptly. “That’s all the questions we have for now.”
As I stood to my feet, my wooden chair accidentally clanged against the table. I quickly turned and followed Maaren out of the room.
“What about my immunity?” Lyel protested as we opened the door.
“The human police will decide on that,” I replied in a low voice. “Whatever they decide will be too good for a murderous piece of filth like you.”
As we left, Lyel started to cry, and I almost felt a little bad for the guy. Just like Valerie, it seemed like he was a pawn in someone else’s game. The only difference was he’d gotten out with his life.
“Alright, well, he’s a bust,” Maaren said as we got back into the room. “I think we scared him real good, though.”
“Well, we know one thing!” Kalista replied cheerfully as she sat back in her chair. “The bank account that sent him the money was under Amy Watkins’ name. Which means our friendly museum guide definitely staged this whole robbery.”
“But why?” Ariette paced the room with her arms crossed. “Why steal a phoenix egg? Surely not just to become immortal?”
“Maybe.” I shrugged. “Humans are kind of obsessed with the idea of immortality.”
“It’s not as fun as it sounds,” Kalista piped up. “I knew a guy who was immortal once. He eventually went crazy after watching everyone he loved pass on, one by one. Then he tried to off himself, but his immortality wouldn’t allow it!”
“Did you watch that on TV?” Maaren questioned. “That sounds an awful lot like an episode of--”
“Nope!” The dwarf cut her off. “It was totally real life.”
“I don’t know,” Ariette said with a frustrated grunt. “My gut says there’s more to all of this.”
“Your gut might be right,” Kalista mumbled, and then she turned to us with wide violet eyes. “Does this look like the Amy Watkins from the video to you?”
The dwarf turned the computer screen to show us an image of a wrinkled old woman with a shock of white hair. The dwarf was right, this woman looked absolutely nothing like the Amy Watkins employed by the Jefferson City Museum.
“It looks like we’re dealing with a case of stolen identity here,” Kalista stated. “All the credentials ‘Amy’ used to get a job and a bank account belonged to this Amy Watkins.”
“So we’re back to square one,” Maaren said with an exasperated sigh. “We don’t know who stole the phoenix egg.”
“Not quite square one,” I pointed out. “We know what this person looks like now.”
“That’s it!” Kalista shouted. “Milton, you’re a genius!”
The dwarf turned back to the laptop and started to pound at the keyboard rapidly.
“Kalista?” Danira prompted, and when the dwarf didn’t answer, the commander gave her a small shake.
“I’m setting up a surveillance algorithm,” Kalista muttered into the keyboard. “All cameras in and around Jefferson City that we have access to will be linked up to my software, and I’ll run a constant facial recognition. If the fake Amy Watkins gets caught on camera anywhere, we’ll get an alert.”
“That is brilliant, Kal!” I said, and the dwarf put her hand up for a high five without even looking at me.
“I know,” she said smugly. “Now, if you’d be so kind, Kalista needs some peace and quiet. Go eat, or play tug of war, or something.”
“Tug of war?” I said as the four of us filed out into the hallway and left Kalista hunched over her laptop with the fire of excitement in her eyes.
“Yeah, I dunno.” Ariette shrugged. “Where would we even find a rope and a giant mud pit for that?”
“Well, I know something else we could tug on,” Maaren said as she elbowed me in the side. “We could get all dirty and then maybe Ariette and I could have a contest to see who was better at tugging.” She winked at me.
“Erm … well, as fun as that sounds,” I swallowed, “I think--
“Keep it in your pants, Milton.” Danira smirked at me. “We’re still on duty.” She looked right at me. “After the job’s over though, who knows. Maybe a tug war would be fun.”
“Tug of war,” Ariette corrected as she looked between all of us. “And, it really doesn’t seem like it’d be that fun…” She shrugged. “There would be mud everywhere, and you can chafe your hands so you have to wear gloves when you tug really hard.”
“You’re cute,” Maaren said with a laugh. “But I suppose our fearless leader is right. We
should stay on target.”
“On that note, what do we do about him?” I asked as I pointed to the wall that bordered Lyel’s room.
“I called Officer Alfrisco,” Danira grunted as her eyebrows knitted together in frustration. “He’s coming to pick up Mr. Lyel and deal with him in the human courts.”
“Ugh, not Alfrisco,” Ariette groaned loudly.
“Yes, Alfrisco,” Danira replied as she imitated Ariette’s exhausted tone.
“Who’s Alfrisco?” Maaren chuckled next to me.
“Only the worst human ever,” Ariette answered with narrowed eyes.
“I could say the same about you, only you’re not human,” a rough voice carried down the hallway, and Ariette’s face went as white as a sheet before she collected herself.
“Alfrisco,” she said cordially as she spun around quickly.
The stout human police officer walked purposefully down the hallway and stood in front of Ariette with an air of importance about him. His black hair seemed even spikier than it had been when we first met, and his skin was a weird, sickly pale color in the dim light of the hallway. His dark brown eyes narrowed at Ariette as if there was a mental standoff happening in his head.
Finally, he gave her a slow, curt nod.
“Ariette,” he replied coldly.
“Well, we’ll just leave you to it,” I interrupted quickly, and then I grabbed Ariette’s arm to drag her with Maaren and I as we left.
“He’s in here,” we heard Danira say as we got to the golden stairs at the end of the hallway.
“Man, he just makes my skin crawl,” Ariette said as she shivered. “Doesn’t he just make your skin crawl?”
“Uh, hello,” Maaren said, and she sped up just a bit so she could walk backwards in front of us. “Who is this so-called ‘worst human in the world’?”
“Hey!” a blue fairy exclaimed as Maaren ran straight into her.
“Sorry,” the hunter said sheepishly, and then she turned herself around so she could see ahead.
“He’s just this cop we dealt with when we were fighting the trolls,” I explained. “He doesn’t really like Fae too much.”
“Hmm,” Maaren considered, “or maybe they just don’t like him. He kinda comes off as an arrogant douche.”
“Thank you!” Ariette exclaimed and thrust her hands forward over her stomach as if to prove her own point. “That’s what I’m saying.”
“Alright,” I allowed, “nobody likes Alfrisco, myself included. But let’s stop talking about that beer bellied box of crap and go grab some grub. Chasing down a murderer really gets your stomach grumbling.”
“Now you’re talking!” Maaren exclaimed. Her steps became bouncier the closer we got to the dining hall, and the moment the sweet aroma of dinner hit our nostrils, she took in the deepest inhale I had ever seen. I swear, the thing lasted for five minutes, all while Maaren looked like she was on cloud nine.
“Sal!” I cried out as soon as we got up to the buffet line and I saw my favorite cook there. His cheeks were a jolly red color, and he smiled wide the moment he saw me.
“Milton!” he called back and caused a few disgruntled heads to turn around at the outburst. “Rumor has it you all went out today on a super-secret mission.”
“That’s right, we finally got out of here,” Maaren groaned as she slid her tray along the counter and surveyed her options. “I’m in the mood for some pie tonight, I think.”
“Apple or pumpkin?” Sal asked as he readied a huge knife.
“Eh, why not both?” the hunter shrugged and grinned. “I’m a woman who likes a little variety in her life.”
“You got it,” Sal chuckled. “So, can you tell me anything about this super secret mission?”
“I’m afraid not, Sal,” I replied, and his face fell slightly. “If I could, it wouldn’t be a secret, now would it?”
“Oh well,” he sighed as he drew out his words slightly pathetically. “When you can, I want to be the first to hear!”
“You’re at the top of my list.” I grinned.
Then, my eyes caught my entrée for the night. Right there in the buffet line sat the biggest, juiciest piece of roasted chicken I’d ever seen. I could feel the drool pooling up in my mouth as I marveled at the hunk of white meat that was piled onto a silver tray. It still had all the char marks on its skin from the fire, and its smoky aroma wafted up into my nostrils.
“Sal,” I implored. “I needed one of those pieces of roast chicken yesterday. Could you hook me up?”
“You bet,” the dwarf said as he nodded. “It’s a good one tonight.”
“You can say that again.” I grinned like an idiot as the dwarf plopped the delicious morsel onto my plate. I gave Sal a goodbye wave, and then I walked over to the dining area to find my friends.
We ate dinner in complete peace and gorged on our food without a single interruption from Arendor and his annoying flirtations. Best of all, we had managed to take a nearly complete break from the case.
That is, until three a.m. in the morning.
Chapter 5
“Come on HC, get up,” Ariette’s soothing voice interrupted my dream. I found it kind of odd since she hadn’t actually been there until that moment. I’d been in the middle of a fantastic fantasy where Maaren and I were on a mission of some sort that had involved lingerie and martinis. Only now Ariette was standing right beside us.
“Are you going to join us?” I asked as I glanced at Maaren.
“I don’t mind,” the unseelie said with a grin. “I bet I could find her a matching outfit.”
“Yo, Milton, come on!” now Kalista’s voice interrupted us, and I felt like someone had just slapped my face. And then it happened again.
“HC,” Ariette grunted out, and finally my eyes fluttered open.
The fantastical figure of Maaren was gone, and I stared out into my room at the guild where two other Fae beauties bustled around. Unfortunately, neither of them were in lingerie.
“Nice of you to join the world of the living,” Kalista giggled, and my eyes trailed from her knees, right in front of my face, all the way up to her head. Her hands were planted on her hips, and she wore a stern expression on her face.
“Huh?” I asked, still groggy and heavy with sleep. “What’s going on?”
“Put this on,” Ariette ordered, and a shirt suddenly flew at my head. “Your muscles are too distracting, and those sort of thoughts are not what I need right now.”
“Too distracting,” I repeated slowly, still playing catch up as I sat up and tugged the white material over my head. As soon as it was on, Kalista grasped my arm and hauled me out of bed. I stumbled once before I stood up straight, and then a pair of brown pants smacked into my chest.
“If your muscles were too distracting for me, I don’t even wanna think about where my mind will go if you’re without pants,” the dwarf sighed.
My reflexes were instinctive, and I caught the piece of clothing and then stepped into them, still on autopilot.
“We have been trying to wake you up for five minutes,” Kalista stated with a swift punch to my arm.
“Ow,” I complained as I rubbed the muscle, and a satisfied grin spread across her face. “You know, you two interrupted a very good dream I was having about this martini drinking, lingerie-clad--”
“Yeah, okay, retell your sex dream some other time,” Ariette demanded as she spun around and made her way out of the room. “We’ve got work to do.”
“I mean, I kind of wanted to hear about it,” Kalista muttered as she went to follow. “Maybe we could act it out later?” She smirked. “I have just the perfect outfit for it.”
It took me a moment for my brain to catch up, and by the time it had, they were halfway down the hallway.
“Uh, hey, guys,” I called as I sprinted after them.
“Speed it up, HC,” Ariette barked over her shoulder.
“Can you tell me what’s going on?” I asked as I rubbed the last of the sleep out of my eyes. “Wh
at time is it?”
“Three a.m.,” Ariette replied as she rounded a corner.
I was even with Kalista now, and I looked over at the dwarf in confusion. “Wait, what? Why the hell am I out of bed then?”
“We’ll tell you what’s going on as soon as we get to the control room,” Kalista answered me. “Trust me, we didn’t wake you up for not something.”
“Isn’t that a double negative?” I grumbled. “My brain is too tired for wordplay, Kal.”
“Just trust us on this one,” the dwarf replied and then hurried her pace.
Danira and Maaren were already in the control room when we stepped through the door frame. Maaren nursed a steaming mug of coffee between her hands, and her snowy white hair was disheveled.
“Ah, good of you to join us!” Danira called out sarcastically.
“Hey, I hope you’ve got a good reason for interrupting my dream,” I grumbled as I stared down Maaren’s coffee and debated if I was quick enough to steal it and chug the whole thing down in one go.
“Apparently he was dreaming about a supermodel,” Kalista drawled playfully.
“I hope it wasn’t a wet dream,” Danira patted me heavily on the back, “I’d hate for us to have to do laundry early this week.”
“I unfortunately didn’t get that far,” I pouted.
“I’m surprised you have the stamina for that given your escapades with the team.” Danira glanced at my teammates before her eye settled on me. “You must have a lot of stamina.”
“Oh, that he does. Like the goddamned energizer bunny,” Kalista said with a smirk. “It’s fantastic.”
“Well, maybe I’ll have to find out sometime for myself,” our captain said without missing a beat. Then she turned serious. “Anyway, I’m sorry for interrupting your dream, but we’ve got another robbery.”
“Aw shit, seriously?” I said, wide awake now, and not just because I was imagining Danira without her clothes on. “What happened this time?”
“The zoo was hit,” Ariette answered.
The Fae perched herself on top of the round table and bent forward to stretch her back, which afforded me a perfect view of her pale porcelain breasts. She winked when she caught my gaze and sat up slowly.