by Kris Sawyer
“Thank you, kind sir.” He threw the keys on the side table and said, “Please make yourself comfortable. Would you like anything?”
Rick navigated his wheelchair inside the living room and stopped facing Aidan. “I’d like some water, please? If it’s not too much trouble, I mean.” He said in a timid tone.
“No trouble at all.” Aidan grinned. At the same time, his new housemate made her presence known and purred from between his legs. His grin turned into a disapproving frown, “Bratty, not now. Move!” He pushed the cat gently away with his foot and made his way toward the kitchen.
“Is she yours?” Rick asked when Aidan came out and offered a glass of water. He nodded toward the cat. She stood behind the couch, looking between the two men with her big eyes. “She’s curious about me.” He snickered. Bratty meowed softly as if responding to his statement.
Aidan watched her closely and suspected she was up to something. “She’s a total brat. That’s why I named her Bratty. For now, at least. Surprisingly, she answers to that.” They shared a laugh. “And no, she isn’t mine. I don’t know where she came from, but she was on my doorstep a couple of weeks back and hasn’t ever left. Believe me, I have tried to make her leave but she just won’t go.”
“Oh I believe you alright. She isn’t yours.” Rick kept looking at the cat with an unwavering smile on his face. “But she obviously thinks you belong to her. I don’t think she’ll give up on you very easily.”
“Isn’t that fun?” Aidan rolled his eyes. “Well, let’s just get started, alright?” He led his gorgeous model to the studio where he created his artworks. Many of his old paintings were hung on the walls. Looking at them, he could relive the old memories more than once. These paintings were special to him in some way or another and he refused to sell them to anyone else. They were his most valued treasures. “Welcome to my world.”
Rick’s gaze travelled to every corner of the room. The twinkle in his eyes meant he surely liked what he saw. “Mr. Ross,” he said, after a few minutes of scrutiny, “these are beautiful. You’re so talented.”
“Thank you, Mr. Mahoney.” He’d always heard that from the world. However, when Rick said it, Aidan felt a different sense of pride. Rick’s voice carried no envy whatsoever. He’d genuinely complimented his work.
“This one, though,” Rick stopped his wheelchair in front of a lady’s portrait. “It is …” He paused and kept staring at it. “I don’t have words. But she’s beautiful.”
Aidan stood behind Rick’s wheelchair and smiled at the painting remembering how much effort it took for him to convince her to be his model. She’d finally agreed and he’d painted his first, completed portrait ever. After that, there was no turning back. “That’s my mom,” he said. “She was the one who encouraged me to be what I wanted. So when I painted her portrait, I couldn’t sell it for any amount of money.”
“Where is she now?”
“My parents have a house in Beverly Hills. When I moved out, I didn’t want to go too far. You know, so I can meet up with her whenever I want.” He patted Rick’s arm and walked away. As he began to set up his easel and canvas, he continued, “I’m not too close to my dad. He was always busy with his work when we were growing up. Now he’s retired though, he wants us all to spend more time as a family. I know he means well, but it’s too late.” He said and then signaled Rick, “Come with me.”
Rick followed him to the sofa chair with a high backrest. Before Aidan could say anything, Rick understood what he wanted, maneuvered himself across and began to settle himself in the chair. Aidan stayed beside him, just in case. When Rick had gotten comfortable he said, “It’s never too late, by the way.”
“Huh?”
He smiled. “To have a nice, family time together.”
“Oh believe me, it’s very late.” Aidan laughed. “It’s like we don’t even know each other. We keep meeting up for these family dinners he arranges for us.” He made air quotes as he spoke. “In fact, we met up just yesterday and it was awfully awkward for me and my brother to even sit at the same table with him. He’s no more than a stranger to us.”
“Okay.” Rick seemed to hesitate. “But do you talk to him?”
“We do. Mostly he asks a few questions and I answer. Mom usually comes up with something to break the silence.” Aidan positioned himself on his chair to get a better view of his model and then adjusted the easel. He mentally made a plan for executing the idea for his portrait.
“You know what I think, Mr. Ross?” Rick asked grabbing his attention. “You’re not making an effort to get to know your father.” Aidan looked at him with surprise. It must’ve shown on his face because the next moment Rick hurried to apologize, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean …”
Aidan waved his hand. “No, it’s okay. I guess I wasn’t expecting to hear that.”
“I crossed a line. I’m sorry.”
“What makes you think that?” He asked. “Why do you think I am not giving my dad time to prove himself?”
“It doesn’t matter.” Rick turned red. “I shouldn’t have opened my big mouth.”
“Let me hear it. If I’m not doing something I’m supposed to, I really want to know.” Rick refused to speak. “Please Rick, just tell me. I won’t take offense, I promise.”
Rick nodded. “Well, you say he’s been making these dinner plans for you guys. So, obviously, he’s wanting to make up for what he thinks is lost time.”
“It’s not like I don’t show up. I do.”
“But do you ever talk to him? Have you ever initiated a conversation? If you have, have you tried to hold on to it and go with the flow?” Rick asked and Aidan didn’t think he was expecting an answer to his questions. “Because it seems to me, you’ve never had a real conversation with your father.” Thinking about it, Aidan realized it was true. “You told me he usually asks the questions, but have you ever asked him any? And I mean apart from you asking him how he was doing.”
All those questions had just one answer. No.
Why haven’t I done that? Aidan asked himself. It was normally what he’d do with any strangers he met in his life for the first time. He had done it with Rick and with the other models he’d met before him. So, it was curious why he felt so awkward having a conversation with his own father.
He considered it for a while.
For a long time, he never understood why his father couldn’t be there for him. Every time when he needed him the most, he was either working ridiculously long hours or travelling abroad. Aidan was mostly mad at him. As the time passed, he got so used to his father’s busy schedule that his presence around him began to make Aidan feel out of place.
“Though, it really isn’t my place to tell you anything.” Rick broke the silence between them and Aidan was jerked out of his train of thought. “You know your father much better than me,” he said. “So my assumptions could be totally wrong.”
“Actually,” Aidan spoke up before Rick could finish his sentence and said, “I don’t know my dad at all. You’re right. I never made an effort to get to know him because somewhere in my mind I am still so mad at him.”
A soft smile played on Rick’s pink lips. “I figured. But don’t you think you’ve been holding a grudge against him for far too long now?” He paused for breath for a moment. “Try to forgive him and move on. It’ll make things easier for you.”
Aidan stared into Rick’s eyes. The blue color had darkened now and there was a kind of agony in them. It made Aidan uncomfortable and he quickly averted his gaze, concentrating instead on the plain white paper in front of him. He cleared his throat before he said, “I want you to try and sit as still as possible.”
He picked up his charcoal pencil and began.
Aidan sighed. “What can I do to make you relax, Rick?”
He’d spent the past hour trying to comfort his model, but with every passing minute, Rick seemed to grow more nervous. Aidan had tried to calm him down with the help of some caffeine. He even tried to expl
ain to him what he was doing, but it only seemed to aggravate his anxiety. Finally, he decided to simply ask.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Ross,” Rick said with his eyes lowered in shame. “But I told you, I’ve never done this before.”
“You don’t have to do anything. Sit there, look at me and hold that position.”
He looked up. “It makes me uncomfortable.” His voice was shaky.
“I imagine it would. But if you can’t sit straight for too long, let me know, we can take a five minute break and you can rest your back for a while.”
He shook his head. “Sitting isn’t the problem,” he countered, “but looking at you is.”
“What do you mean?”
Rick averted his eyes. “I can’t look at you while you’re eyeing me like that.”
He smiled in sheer amusement. “Like what, Rick?”
“Like ...” he stammered, “like you’re eye-fucking me.”
Aidan couldn’t hold his laughter back. “Is that what you think I’m doing?” He asked, in between his bouts of laughter. “Eye-fucking you?”
He couldn’t have imagined Rick turning as red as he was at that moment. “No,” he replied, “But if you were, you’d look like that.” Aidan laughed harder and couldn’t stop. He watched Rick’s small smile growing before he started giggling too. “I know it’s stupid, I’m sorry.”
Their laughter slowly subsided when Aidan’s cheeks began to hurt. “Damn! I’ve never laughed so hard in my life.” He chortled a bit more before he continued, “I promise I’m not eye-fucking you. I need to look at you to understand the best way I can draw you on my canvas.”
Rick nodded. “I do get it. It’s just …”
His voice trailed off but Aidan understood what he meant. Rick wasn’t a professional model he could yell at for not doing his job well. He was naïve; new to this world. Expecting something more out of him wouldn’t be fair on Aidan’s part. Rick had already warned him he might not be able to do what Aidan wanted. But the artist in Aidan had yearned for him. Moreover, Aidan was certain he could help Rick. So all he had to do now was think of a way to ease the guy’s nerves.
An idea clicked in his mind. “Please try and relax, okay?” His model nodded vigorously. However, as soon as he started drawing, Rick’s face tensed up again. The innocence Aidan wanted to capture in the portrait was lost. He cleared his throat as he continued to work on some other details and said, “By the way, you know quite a lot about my family. It’s been bugging me that I’ve shared so much with a total stranger.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, I mean I hardly know you.”
Rick smiled and asked, “What do you want to know?”
“Anything.” Aidan shrugged. “Whatever you feel comfortable sharing.”
“Um … well, I’m Rick. Richard Eugene Mahoney. I’m twenty-seven years old, originally from Missouri. I moved here to LA a few months back after my mom kicked me out.”
“Kicked you out?” That’s rough.
“She stays with her husband and my four year old step-brother. She couldn’t deal with taking care of me along with the baby. Uh … well, I’m a guy with special needs and I think it became too much for her.”
Aidan worried his forehead and looked at him concerned. He couldn’t see any hint of sadness in Rick when he spoke and that depressed Aidan a lot.
“Doesn’t bother me really. You see, my dad took care of me when he was alive. But he died and my mom remarried. And I became like a third wheel in her new life. I don’t think her husband liked to have me around so I mostly stayed in my room.”
“That must’ve felt like a prison to you.”
Rick gave a nod. He didn’t speak for a couple of minutes. When he did, his voice was heavier. “When the baby came,” he started but had to stop to swallow a lump in his throat.
“Do you need some water?” Aidan had nothing but sympathy for the man.
He shook his head. Aidan looked away and continued to draw on the canvas. It made him feel awkward. He had wanted to distract Rick by getting him to talk about his life. However, he realized it was the worst idea he could have had.
“When the baby came,” Rick said in a more composed tone this time, “my mom started to grow impatient with me. She’d yell around and blame me for ruining her life. She and her husband used to fight a lot and the arguments got worse every single day.” He laughed sardonically. “One day, she sat me down and talked about how she loved my dad and how sorry she was that he wasn’t alive to fix our life problems like he always had. And then all of a sudden, she told me, she couldn’t have me around anymore. She gave me all these lame excuses and then she said she’d arranged for me to move in with my sister in LA.”
Aidan sat still in his seat. Rick’s cheeks were wet. The room had fallen silent.
“Can we take a break? I need to use the washroom.”
“Sure, let me help you.” Aidan stood up and went over to Rick. He helped him back into his wheelchair and walked with him into the hallway. He wasn’t sure if Rick would need him inside the washroom and he dreaded to ask.
However, Rick made it easier for him when he said, “If you can show me where the washroom is, I’m okay by myself.”
Aidan heaved a sigh of relief and pointing in the right direction said, “Um … there, just go straight ahead. You’ll see a room to your left. You’ll find a washroom in there.”
“Cool, thanks.” He wheeled his chair in that direction and disappeared into the room.
Aidan checked his watch. It was almost time for lunch. He went to the kitchen and found Mrs. Hutchinson stirring a curry and the most amazing aromas were wafting around. When she saw him, she beamed. “Good afternoon, Aidan. Lunch is almost ready. Would you and your guest like to eat now?” She was a stout lady with grey hair. Mrs. Hutchinson had been with his family for the past ten years and Rick was addicted to her cooking. So, when he moved out, he insisted on having her come with him to his new house too. Nothing made her happier than to cook for Aidan, she’d said.
“Yes, yes please.” He nodded. “I’m really hungry and something smells good.” He snuck a teaspoon and tried to steal a taste from the saucepan.
“Oh no, you don’t! This is for dinner tomorrow evening. You should know by now a curry is always at its best the day after it’s made. Today’s lunch is in the oven. Get yourselves settled at the dining table and I’ll have it served right away.”
When he came out of the kitchen, he watched Rick coming back from the washroom seeming to be in a much better mood. He had an amused smile on his face. “Is that your bedroom?” He asked.
“Yea, why?”
“Because it looks like it was hit by a tornado or something.” Rick giggled.
Aidan felt his face becoming hot. He laughed remembering the mess he’d left in his room that morning. “Sorry about that. I’ll have to get to it later.” He pointed behind him and said, “Lunch is being served. I think we should eat now and continue with our work later on after our stomachs have settled.”
“Sounds good to me.”
Aidan ushered him toward the dining table and excused himself to go pee. Quickly, Aidan cleaned himself up and joined Rick at the table. Meanwhile, Mrs. Hutchinson brought their plates out. He rubbed his hands together in excitement. “Ooh, meatloaf!”
Rick smiled. “I love meatloaf, too.”
“Great!”
They both dug into their meals and barely talked. When they were half way through, Rick called for his attention. “Mr. Ross,” he said and waited for him to look up. “I want to apologize for how I behaved earlier.”
Aidan took a gulp from his glass of water and asked, “For what?”
“For being an emotional fool in front of you.” He cast his eyes down in his plate and played with his fork. “You didn’t need to see me like that.”
“It’s alright, Rick. You’ve every right to express yourself however you want.” They shared a smile and Aidan continued, “I’m just glad you’re out of that
whole mess.”
“Yeah,” he said softly and took a bite.
Aidan watched him eat and wondered if something else was bothering him. “Are you happy here in LA?”
“You might say that.”
“Doesn’t sound too convincing to me.” Aidan chuckled.
“I mean my sister loves me and cares for me genuinely. But my brother in law is a homophobic bastard. Ever since he found out that I’m gay, he’s been really mean to me. My sister tries to keep him in check, but when she isn’t around, he calls me names and insults me all the time.”
Aidan remained silent. He was afraid to open his mouth. From the second he’d seen Rick Mahoney for the first time, he’d not only wanted to ask him to be his inspiration for the next project, he also wanted to ask the guy out on a date. Only the fact he didn’t know whether or not Rick was into men kept him from crossing that line. However, now he knew, Aidan wasn’t sure if it would be appropriate because Rick had been hired by him to model for his paintings.
“Does it bother you?” Rick asked and Aidan raised his eyebrows. “That I’m gay?”
“Not at all. I am too,” he rushed to explain. “Well, actually not gay, I’m bisexual. But I’ve dated more men than women in my life. So I’d really easily fit into your brother in law’s hate-list.” Bratty meowed from somewhere beneath the table and Aidan felt her moving near his feet. “Stupid cat won’t even let me eat in peace. Mrs. Hutchinson?” He called out.
She came immediately. “Yes Aidan. Do you need dessert?”
“Nah, I’m done. Rick?”
“Me too.”
“Cool,” he said and turned to Mrs. Hutchinson again, “Will you please feed the cat? I think she’s hungry.”
“Sure.” Mrs. Hutchinson collected up their empty plates, then her sweet voice called, “Come on kitty,” and the cat sprinted off behind her to the kitchen.
For the next couple of hours, they locked themselves in the art studio and Aidan worked on getting the layout done. He kept Rick talking so he stayed relaxed and unflustered. This time, though, Aidan tried to keep him off any heavy emotional stuff relating to his life. They chatted casually about the songs he liked listening to, the sport he followed and his father.