“His name is Cato,” I muttered, eyes intent on the doctor.
“What?” she asked.
A small portion of what she had been like in the presence of Emerson King surfaced. I had to resist the urge to spit in anger and then hit her. The longer I dealt with the entire situation, the more violent I seemed to become. I was coiled rage and frustration just waiting to spring free at the opportune moment.
“His name is Cato, Doctor Aserov,” I paused, “and what do you mean there are only certain ways to pass things?”
Gaia sat in silence, watching the exchange without intervening even though I could see her fingers fidgeting in her lap.
Doctor Devi smoothed her dark hair away from her face and replied, “Typically, afflictions are only spread in the way of bacteria and viruses. If there is any other way he passed his gift to you, then we need to find out how. It may mean tests a lot worse than anything you experienced at the Spartan location.”
“To be honest, Doctor, I don’t think I got to the worst thing they had planned, even with,” I stopped and looked down at my lap. “You guys kind of moved in before they could get too invasive. Mostly, I was beaten by one of their guards and placed under the knife once. It could’ve been worse and, apparently, it looks like the Fallen Paradigm is going to do more damage than they had a chance to do. Physically, anyway.” A small bit of tension rolled off my shoulders.
Quiet.
The room went quiet again, the awkward hush filling the room until I could drown. I didn’t hear anyone move as I stared down at my hands. I began to wring them in my lap. My heartbeat raced with anxiety, but I swallowed it down as best I could. There was no way I was letting what happened outside transpire again without my wanting it to. Especially since we weren’t aware of what the consequences of that action were.
Something warm, a hand, touched my shoulder. When I looked up, my eyes met the bright blues of Caius. His blond hair was disheveled as if he had just run his hands through it. Warmth was just below the surface. Warmth and understanding. He had been in my shoes before. I had to continue to remind myself of that fact.
“Look, I understand if you don’t want to move forward,” he assured me.
“No,” I shook my head in earnest. “No, I want to. I approached my mom about it before the supply run. I want to know just like you do. Probably even more than all of you.”
The smile didn’t reach his eyes as he whispered, “Okay.”
“You made the right decision, Mila,” my mother said from out of nowhere.
My eyes shot up to meet her open face, filled with pride at my choice to continue with whatever tortures awaited me just for answers. Who knew if they’d serve me? Not even I was certain, but I had to try. And I knew the Fallen Paradigm wouldn’t take it farther than I was willing to go. They’d stop if I asked. Or, at least, I hoped they would.
“Gaia, can you please take your sister back to the medical wing? I’m sure she’d like to see her friends,” my mother requested as she came around the side of the desk to stand in front of me and beside Caius.
“You got it,” Gaia replied.
“Get some rest, Mila. You deserve it.”
All I could do was nod while everyone watched me. Gaia came toward me, and Caius and my mother backed away, turning toward one another. Doctor Aserov and Doctor Devi began to speak in hushed tones to my mother, but she seemed to be barely paying attention. She half watched me, and half listened to the two women as I stood up to follow my sister out of the room. I eyed them skeptically, wondering what they would do. What tests they would need to run to expose the full extent of what I was.
Turning away from them, I felt Caius at my back, following us out into the hallway and away from the whispers of medical jargon that was sure to send me into another all-consuming panic. His fingertips came to rest slightly on my lower back as if he were ushering me from the room. I hadn’t hesitated. Not even a little.
Fatigue began to eat away at my body and my mind. The energy I once felt because of my power zapped out of me with the realization that I would finally get some answers, even if I didn’t like how I would come to retrieve them. None of that mattered anymore, no matter what hang-ups I had once I had more time to reflect. That and sleep.
Once I was through the now open door, my eyes met Cecilia’s, who had obviously been standing next to the door. She looked startled as if the door opening had been unexpected and she had been attempting to eavesdrop out there in the hallway. I didn’t care if she heard or not. It wouldn’t be a mystery what was happening for much longer once testing began. Would she agree with this? Would she support me? I wasn’t certain, but I hoped she would.
But there was one question hovering over my head and my heart.
Was she afraid of me?
No, one more. Why was she not able to take part in the discussion?
“So, what’s happening? What did they say?” she asked hurriedly as she fidgeted.
Caius closed the door behind him but kept his other hand on the small of my back, like I needed coercing to rest. When she pushed her hair back and away from her face, I saw something in her eyes along with the questions I had hoped wouldn’t be present.
Fear.
Uncertainty.
I cursed myself silently. I guessed I’d be seeing how wide that terror reached the more people I ran into on the way to the medical wing.
“Don’t act like you weren’t listening through the door, Cecilia. I know you better than that,” Caius answered.
“You’re a spoiled sport, Cai,” she reached out and patted him on the shoulder. “Don’t ever lose that charm of yours.”
He shot her an exasperated look, and all she did was smile back. They had a rapport I hadn’t expected, but it was good to see that, despite all the horror of the past weeks, we could all still joke with each other. Show our humanity instead of our monstrous rage. My heart fluttered slightly in my chest at the thought as Gaia led me to the medical wing, flanked by Cecilia and Caius as if I would run at a moment’s notice. If that were the case, why would I even suggest the tests in the first place?
“You sure you okay with this?” Cecilia asked from out of nowhere the closer we came to the medical wing. Now, all that separated me from it were the double doors.
I turned to look at her as the double doors opened automatically, sensing our movement from this side of the threshold.
“Yeah, I’m sure,” I sighed. “I mean, do we have any other options?”
Ryder’s room number came into view, and I felt my heart begin to hammer in my chest. Would he be awake? Would he be in pain? Would he be angry with me? Afraid of me like Cecilia? She put up a good front, but I could see it in her posture as she walked beside me as well as her face. I saw Gaia turn her head slightly to see my reaction to Cecilia’s questions, and she seemed to approve.
“There are always more options,” Caius muttered.
“Do you really think that this is the best time to be doing this? We only have so many resources and, doing this, it’s possible we could stretch what we have. It may seem like we have a lot now, but there are plenty of things no one knows,” Gaia lectured.
Neither Cecilia nor Caius reacted to Gaia’s words. Caius had seemed to feel strongly about it, and Cecilia was only too eager to get me to change my mind. We were at an impasse.
“The more answers I get now, the fewer questions I’ll have later. Not like we can’t use this if need be, right?” I continued to answer her silence. They were probably the wrong words to say, but they were all I could come up with at the moment.
We approached the room where Ryder was staying. Gaia studied me with a weak smile that didn’t reach her eyes and motioned toward the room, pride glittering behind her white teeth even though she wasn’t the happiest. She knew what going through all of this again could do to
me but, in the end, she seemed to realize this was my decision. And I had made it. There was no turning back.
“I’ll make sure someone brings you some dinner and a change of clothes. There are communal showers just down the hall,” Cecilia explained before either Gaia or Caius could say another word.
Gaia shot her a look of disapproval like Cecilia had stolen her welcome to this part of the Fallen Paradigm’s massive building. It was the second time I had been in the particular section of the place, but I didn’t get an official welcome aside from the scowls and fight I had with my little sister. And one of my best friends had spoiled it for her.
From what I could tell, so many things had changed since that fateful day in my apartment. Not only the people themselves, but the dynamic between them all. Even I was no longer the same person I had been.
“Thanks, guys. I appreciate it,” I said as I avoided each pair of eyes.
I entered the room, but my eyes focused on the horribly glaring linoleum floor beneath my feet.
“Mila?” Caius’s voice greeted my back, causing me to turn in response.
Gaia and Cecilia had both walked away, and I could just barely hear their soft argument as they did so. I guess I understood, but it all seemed so trivial with everything that was happening. Everything that had happened already. Fighting over who got to say what seemed to be the least of my worries.
Caius’s blue eyes bore into me then, all irritation and sadness turning into a look of understanding and fatherly love. He wasn’t much older than I was. He had only been taken five years prior to that moment. That put my guess as to his age at about thirty, but I never thought to ask. I didn’t feel like it was truly my business.
“Yeah?” I replied.
“Gaia said that everyone will be healed up and ready to go in the morning. Your mother is assigning everyone for training with Famke and Jameson. Madeline, your mother, and Doctor Devi will oversee your testing. Sound good?”
Even just saying the words seemed to have exhausted him. I nodded even though just hearing it all did the same thing to me.
“A plan will be explained in the morning.” He smiled weakly and reached into the room, taking the silver doorknob in his massive hand. “Get some rest. Who knows when the next time any of us will be able to sleep will be?”
“Yeah.” I returned the grin.
Without another word, Caius reached forward and placed his large hand on the silver doorknob, pulling the door to a close with the soft click. I stood there for a moment, taking in the scene around me. The only sound in the room was Ryder’s heart rate monitor, the constant beep bouncing off the walls of the sparse room in a slight echo.
I moved to face where Ryder lay, watching him as his chest rose and fell in even breaths, still asleep from the medication he was placed on for his treatment. I was certain that all the others were much in the same state. He was dressed in only a pair of stark white scrub pants, feet and chest bare. If it weren’t for the light blue walls of the room, a panic attack would have been imminent, but nothing came. Only resounding regret that everyone had been hurt because of me.
His entire rib cage was a mass of deep purple bruises, some fading to green as the medication he was given sped up the healing process of his broken bones. Other than that, he looked serene, almost child-like in the throes of sleep.
The only thing I knew to do was to sleep, get some rest like everyone seemed to believe I needed. I wasn’t going to say that wasn’t the truth. If how I felt was any indication of how I looked, I looked like I just walked out of a battle through the depths of Hell. Even encountering the Devil himself. There was still dried blood all over me along with the crud and brick dust from the abandoned city we went to in hopes of an influx of supplies we were told would be there for transport for the Fallen Paradigm.
The sigh that left my throat was filled with sadness and responsibility. If only I had seen this coming, then I could have stopped the pain and the fear that came with it. Two friends and the love of my life wouldn’t be broken, lying in beds being pumped full of something to make them heal faster. I had a feeling it must have been painful to mend at such a rate, but we all knew it was for the best. They knew it better than anyone, being on the receiving end.
I rubbed my hands over my arms, the slight chill in the room giving me goosebumps. The grime and grit on my skin felt almost like sandpaper covered in oil. I dropped my hands. I would take care of that once I got some sleep, or however much I could get sleeping in a chair at Ryder’s bedside.
What would Julius think that I wasn’t there when he woke up in the morning?
I couldn’t worry about that now on top of everything else. It wasn’t like I wouldn’t be seeing him soon anyway. I shrugged it off, not even a sore joint or ache. It was the plus side of having a power that could wrap you in a cocoon of protective energy, even if it hadn’t worked as well as if could have. I had still felt the impact and the bone-shattering agony of making contact with a brick wall and the road. But there didn’t seem to be any lasting injury, even though there should have been. The only remnants of what I had dealt with were slightly scraped palms and a busted lip, which no one could do anything about.
I made a beeline for the chair next to Ryder’s bed, a high-backed, padded chair that looked comfortable. I highly doubted it actually was. Turning to sit down, I gripped the armrests and pulled it underneath me, lowering into it while I scanned Ryder’s body.
He had a day’s worth of stubble littering his jawline. His chest moved up and down evenly with each breath, no sign of a wheeze or gurgle to be heard. Beautiful green eyes were covered by slightly reddened lids that moved slightly in his sleep. Ryder wouldn’t be awake for a while. The IV tube that ran to his arm wasn’t only filled with fluids, but a narcotic to keep him pain free and asleep during this painful process. I was just thrilled he would be all right by morning. That they all would be.
Julius’s shattered hands would soon be a thing of the past as well as Jameson’s broken jaw. Granted, they still had to wire his mouth shut to keep it from moving while it stitched itself back together, but that was to be expected. And would be removed once they could ensure the medication had been successful.
Reaching out, I took Ryder’s limp hand in my own and squeezed it reassuringly. I wasn’t sure if it was more for him or for myself.
“You’ll be good as new in no time,” I breathed, watching him sleep for only another moment.
I laid my head down next to him, feeling the rough texture of the generic white blanket on my cheek. His hand was warm as I pressed it against my lips and closed my eyes, shutting out the world around me even though I could still hear the steady beep of his heartbeat.
“As good as new,” I whispered before the darkness of sleep took me.
Chapter
ELEVEN
Once I awoke, I took the quickest shower I had ever taken in my life in the communal shower of the medical wing. I wanted to be there when everyone woke up. Especially since I had other things that were going to be top priority first thing that morning.
Tests were to begin and, after that, training with Famke and all the others. Including Julius. So, before he was just thrown into the fray after waking up, I was going to be there to soften the blow of having to train to use his power more effectively before we moved onto that step. That was if his hands had healed properly. His power originated in that area, and I would’ve hated to think that his power would become useless because of a medical mishap.
Without drying my hair, even with the towel provided, I practically ran back toward the patient rooms, happy that both men had rooms across from one another. Would make it easier to speak to Julius and check on Ryder before I had to move on. I knew Famke would be with Jameson when he woke up, if her sitting in the room with him when we got back was an indicator.
The medical wing was a bustle of
activity, and it took all I had not to take off with every white coat I saw and burn them outside of the building. My aversion to the white coat and the white walls hadn’t gone unnoticed as I did my best to avoid looking at any of them. Only patient rooms were a different color. The only ones I noticed weren’t wearing theirs were those that had seen my outburst when we had first arrived here at Kiawah Island. The examination room was enough to set me off, but the rest had truly caused me to snap. Gaia, my mother, Doctor Aserov, Doctor Devi, and Rayna all stood in between the two rooms. It screamed ‘medical professionals’ so loudly I began to wonder if my presence was okay.
“Mom,” I called as I neared them.
Her eyes flicked to me, away from Doctor Aserov, and she held up her finger to the good doctor to give her a moment. She parted from the group and moved toward me, all grace and pride despite the fact she was wearing jeans, brown hiking boots, and a brown tank top with her hair pulled back. Everyone else was in practically the same outfit with a few variations. All except for Doctor Aserov who wouldn’t have been her without the knee-length dress and high heels. I wasn’t even about to ask how they had gotten them.
“What is it?” she asked, words short and clipped. “Ryder is awake, Jameson is getting an x-ray, and we were just about to wake Julius.”
“I want to know what the plan is before you wake him up,” I said.
“Mila, can’t this wait?”
“No, it can’t. I want to be there to make this easier for him. He is going to get thrown into all this stuff, and I don’t want him to feel overwhelmed. I want to know what we are doing after this before he is awake to help him with the shock. Everything is moving so fast, and it’s only going to go faster from here, once everything gets started,” I explained as best I could.
She watched me for a moment, blue eyes watching me carefully as the others scrutinized us from behind her. I wasn’t fuming, not yet, but it wouldn’t take much to push me over the edge when it came to anything dealing with my friends or family in this situation. Especially since everyone on both sides decided I needed to be put smack dab in the middle without my consent. Now, here I was, having to beg for even a tiny bit of leniency.
The Scorned (The Permutation Archives Book 3) Page 12