by Jean Murray
“Your chest will grow cold.”
Her heart stuttered, it had felt that way long before this ever happened to her. How the hell was she going to tell? “What else?”
He rolled his head to the side and looked her in the eyes. “Are you sure you want to know?” His eyes searched her face.
“Yes.” Kit curled Cyclops tighter to her side and tucked her hands under her cheek.
His chest rose and fell. “In the beginning colors will appear dimmer. Faded. All your senses will dull. Food will lose its flavor.”
Okay, that didn’t sound so bad, but Kamen took another breath to continue.
“Audio and visual hallucinations will set in. Most gods go mad before succumbing. Depends on Apep’s plans for you.”
“Is that what happened to Nebt?” At the time of their first encounter with Nebt, she appeared to have genuine concern for Kit and her sisters. In hindsight Nebt had been manipulating and maneuvering them into position for the final execution of her plan. A perfect plan, but Nebt and Kepi had underestimated the Carrigan sisters.
Kamen’s dark gaze shifted to the mound of stuffed animal. He reached out and ran his finger over the half stitched eye. Hesitating, he shifted his hand to her sternum. “You need not let Apep in here. He does not own you.” His thumb traced over her heart.
Yet, Kit finished Kamen’s unspoken message. Tingles spread all through her chest at his touch, awakening her cravings for him. “I need to transition, don’t I?” She already knew the answer but asked anyway. Maybe there was a way she could avoid all this. A small glimmer of hope wavered in her chest but failed to take flight. She knew better.
“Yes.” His tone softened with a hint of sadness.
“Can I tell you something, Kamen?”
He nodded.
“I don’t think I was meant to be with anyone.” She went through men like toilet paper. When she ran out, she’d get another roll. He knew that better than anyone. Despite what everyone else thought, her destiny was written differently. There was no happy ending for her. The way she felt right now only confirmed it.
Hell, she would be crazy not to notice the changes he mentioned, they had already happened over the course of the last five years. It made her wonder if she had been tainted long before now.
The darkness of his eyes remained steady, unfazed by her disclosure. Nor did he try to convince her otherwise. Maybe he already knew, like, he inexplicably knew every other secret about her. Except maybe her visions. He saw her for what she was. Saw the darkness in her soul. “I left him there,” she blurted, seemingly out of nowhere. “My father.” She rubbed her head. “I don’t know why it’s important to tell you. I just figured you would understand. I know my sisters won’t,” she said through the tightness in her throat.
She had hated her father and mother for so long. They ruined her and her sisters’ lives. Brought her to this point. A point where she had Apep’s blood blackening her heart. “I told him about my dream of zombies. He told me they were just nightmares. That I didn’t have to worry, they weren’t real. He lied to me. Lied about everything.” She wiped the tears from her cheek. “Everything I dreamt came true. My father knew and still let it happen…” Her voice cut off by the pain. “I saw him there in Duat. Suffering. I wanted him to suffer. So, I left him there.” She chewed on her lip, hating she was not like her sisters.
“There is something wrong with me, Kamen. Even before all this happened. What kind of daughter would do that to her father?” She had seen the fear on her father’s face when she was fifteen and again in Duat. Same as then, she had refused to answer his calls. She, wanting him to feel the fear she had in her heart.
“Well, anyway. I just wanted you to know.” For the first time in her life, she bared her soul to someone. Shared her secret. Her darkness.
He shifted onto his elbow and stared down at her. For the first time his eyes were unshielded and without judgment. A flicker of understanding infused the dark depths of his gaze.
His silence for once was comforting. What was there to say, really? Maybe in another life under different circumstances, he would tell her his secrets.
“May I stay? Just for tonight.”
She felt the weight of his eyes on her for several long moments before he shifted onto his back.
“Good night, Kit.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
Kamen woke to the warm press of a body against his. Remembering Kit’s presence in his bed, he suppressed the instinctive urge to jerk away. Somewhere in the night she had curled up next to him, tucking her head onto his shoulder and draping her leg over his thigh, dangerously close to another awake part of himself. Her slow warm breath caressed his chest, making his cock harden to an unbearable ache.
He rubbed a hand over his face and blew out a breath, trying to shut off the acute awareness of her breasts and core pressed against him, separated by only the thin fabric of her shirt. Isis, this was not helping matters. His emotions were still raw, the pain still acute. He had held himself together only for the very fact Kit appeared on the verge of breaking.
He went to bed last night wanting to erase the thoughts Inpu had put into his head. In the morning, things would be better, he had told himself. Maybe his senses were just amplified because of his condition, and Kit’s soul would be back to normal.
Her arrival to his room had been completely unexpected. He should have let her go, taken Inpu’s advice and distanced himself. He had fulfilled his promise of bringing her back and returning her to her family. Despite her attempts to hide it, fear and agony consumed her blue gaze. His suffering meant nothing compared to what she might be going through.
The radiance had dulled, but he could see a woman who had nowhere to go, reaching out—to him. He had considered retreating to the chamber, but he could not bring himself to leave her there alone. Based on her forlorn look, he was glad he returned to her side. Surprisingly, the beast was silent under the protective ring of spells above the bed.
He had to find a way to stop the infection from spreading further, for her sake and his. If the blackness spread to a level he could no longer ignore, the beast would take her soul and destroy it. Ice ran through his veins at the thought. She had grown to trust him, enough to share her painful memories and her visions. If Kit inherited her mother’s gift of sight, she would be a powerful ally in the war against Apep. A power, the Dark Lord would risk everything to have.
Kit moaned softly, rubbing her body against his in her sleep. From under the covers, her warm hand followed the landscape of his chest. “Kamen,” she whispered with her eyes closed. The ache between his shoulder blades and overwhelming desire to dominate her told him the beast would not be so patient today. His entire body began to ache, a mix of arousal and anger that he could not change the future.
He closed his eyes and swallowed against his now dry throat. A twinge of guilt added to the whole body aches when he failed to stop her exploration of his chest. No woman had ever touched him like that, even before his sentencing. Still he should wake her. He looked down at her face, innately curious. Was she dreaming of them together?
He inhaled sharply when her caress dropped lower onto his abdomen. He snagged her wrist before she got to his erection that had thrust its way out of his waist band and sat just below his navel. He pulled the covers over him and cursed.
Kit’s head jerked up off his shoulder. He met her wide gaze. Her eyes flicked to her wrist in his grasp, and her intimate proximity to him. She scanned his bare chest and followed down his abdomen. Her cheeks tinged pink.
“Sorry, normally I’m not a bed hog.” She separated their bodies but remained just a few inches from his skin. “I can’t believe I actually slept,” she said as if nothing happened.
Funny, he did as well. Always on alert, he usually woke up to every noise and bump. In fact, he would have already been in the shower and dressed by now. Although he was itching to get up and do just that, he stalled. The big issue hidden under the blanket had yet
to go away. Her continued proximity exacerbated the problem. He needed to shut this connection with her down on both accounts, physically and that other half.
“I could eat a horse.” She rubbed her stomach in response to the growl that emanated from it. She turned and propped her head with her hand. He stared at the ceiling, acutely aware of her inspection. “What is it with you and lack of verbal speech?”
He turned and looked at her but said nothing.
“My point exactly,” she said. “What do the hieroglyphics on your arms mean?”
“They designate me as an Underworld god.”
“Okay, that was vague. A falcon and crescent moon?”
“Yes.”
She chewed on her lip. “What are you, Kamen? Really?”
She knew he was the soul-eater, so her question carried far more meaning. One, he was not sure he wanted to discuss. No one spoke of it since the day the burden had been placed upon his shoulders and into his body, like the family’s dirty secret, although it was well known among the Pantheons.
“You are subordinate to Asar, but when you enter a room it is you whom they fear more than him.”
Surprised, he turned to look at her.
“You think I don’t notice those things. The way you clear a room when you enter. The fear I sense when others look at you.”
Her defiant gaze had returned, gone was the broken woman. “You have nothing to say?” she teased, but he sensed the irritation in her voice. “Why won’t you tell me when you apparently know everything about me?”
“I do not know everything,” he supplicated.
“Bullshit and do not try and change the focus to me.” Her tenacious attitude returned full force.
He shifted to get out of the bed. Hard on or not, he needed a cold shower.
“Oh no you don’t.” She clamped down on his arm and smiled wickedly. “You’re not getting out of this bed until you answer me.”
He looked at his bicep that took both her hands to restrain. He arched an eyebrow in amusement. The feistiness in her eyes stirred his attraction even more. The woman never took no for an answer. He moved to the edge of the bed, dragging her with him. When his feet touched the ground, she finally let go, but then latched around his neck from behind and wrapped her legs around his waist.
She yanked him back, growling in his ear. “I’m not letting this go, Kamen.”
“Let go, Kit.” He smirked, oddly thrilled by her return to normalcy.
“You think this is funny, mister.” A hint of playfulness quivered in her voice. She clamped her legs down tighter, bringing the warmth of her core against his back. The fact that this woman never wore undergarments made the sensation even more erotic. His heels slipped when he went to stand.
“Ha!” she said triumphantly against his neck.
He glared at her from the side, but his gaze came to rest on her full lips. “You need to get off of me.” His voice deepened to a husky growl. His entire body shook as he resisted the urge to flip her onto the bed, ass end up. Her taunts stimulated him in a way that heated his flesh to an agonizing ache.
Those blue eyes held him as tight as her grasp. “Tell me,” she whispered. “I want to understand why anyone would fear a god that would be thoughtful enough to put my childhood stuffed animal on my bed at a time when I needed it the most.”
He could not hold her stare and focused on the far wall. To say he was the sensitive type was laughable. He had meant to take it back to her flat, but then it sat on his bed until he rescued her. It was just easier to return it directly to her. “It is complicated. Now, please get off of me.”
“No.”
“So be it.” He surged up onto his feet and stalked to the bathroom. Flipping on the cold water he entered the shower. The spray hit them.
She squealed. Her grip loosened on his neck and the water caused her legs to slip down his waist until she let go so as not to fall on her ass. She retreated into the corner of the shower out of the water. Her long black hair and white shirt clung to the fine curves of her shivering body. “Asshole.”
“Are you done?” Kamen let the cold water douse the heat she had created in his body.
Her chin jetted up. “No. If you think throwing me into a cold shower is going to deter me from getting my answer, you don’t know me well enough after all.”
“Gods, you are stubborn,” he growled and loomed over her, hoping cornering her would dissuade her line of questioning. He really did not want to talk about himself.
“Damn straight.” She poked him in the chest and pegged him with her haughty stare, refusing to be intimidated by him, when everyone else would be losing bladder control about now. Fuck, she was so deliciously perfect for him.
She jabbed her palms into his chest in a mocking attempt to pick a fight. Heat reignited in his chest. Catching her wrists in one hand, he pinned them above her head against the tile. Her eyes widened a fraction before his lips met hers. Grasping the back of her neck, he pulled her in tighter to his mouth.
The sweet taste had him wavering on his feet. His chest and back burned, but he could not separate from her soft hungry lips. It was wrong, he knew, but her tongue brushed against his, clawing at his last reserves. Long exceeding his original intent, he pressed her against the wall of the shower.
She caressed his chest, exploring areas untouched for so long. Even the lightest brush of her fingertips had him groaning and covering her lips again in a kiss. Her shirt clung to the curves he so desperately wanted to touch. He ripped the fabric free and descended upon her breasts. Her fingers tangled in his hair and pulled him tighter against her.
His fangs punched from his gums as he grazed her nipple with his tongue. With restrained brutality, he nipped and sucked until the scent of her arousal filled the shower.
Kamen’s mind buzzed with anger, frustration and hunger. Need burned through his veins, bashing against his control. He hissed through his teeth and dropped to his knees. He shredded her pants, seeking out the sweet scent of her sex. Liquid heat met his tongue as he covered her with his mouth. He lifted her leg over his shoulder, opening her wider for his exploration.
She jerked against his mouth when he found the small round bud. “Kamen.” She gasped and cursed.
His balls tightened at the sound of his name. Grasping her ass, he yanked her tighter to his mouth. His mind was all but screaming—mine! Pain shot up his spine, but he pushed it away. The beast would not take this from him.
He growled and slid his fingers along her sensitive skin. She shifted her leg open further. “Kamen, please.”
He teased the engorged tissue, fingering only the entrance. Isis, she was so tight against his fingers. He slipped one finger in deep. Her core clenched and wrapped him. He rubbed and licked her sweet spot until her entire body shook against him. Her fingers gripped his hair as she arched back and called out in pleasurable bliss. Just as her first orgasm peaked, another rolled through her tight body. Kamen greedily drew her essence into his mouth, savoring every last beautiful drop.
She pulled him up by the hair and kissed him hard. Ravaging him, she bit his ear and neck and sent jolts straight to his erection. She shoved him against the wall and jammed her hands down his pants.
“Kit,” he protested, but she ignored his warning. He arched back and snarled when she wrapped his cock in her hand while the other stripped him of his pant.
“Oh my god, yes,” Kit cursed and slid her hand over the entire length of his shaft and back up again. She kissed the length of his chest, driving him mad with fever.
As she rubbed the full dark plum of his head, drops of cum glistened at the slit. His entire body spasmed when her warm mouth slipped over him, taking him deep within her mouth. Isis, he was going to explode.
“You must stop,” he croaked. Despite his need to push her away, his fingers threaded her hair. Wanting this but fearing it all the same, he did not know how long he could maintain control of the beast. As he rode the pleasure to the brink, the ache is his
back ratcheted to unbearable.
His legs shook with his restraint. Pain radiated from his balls.
She looked up at him and continued to stroke his ridged cock. “Stop fighting me. Let go.”
Let go? She did not know what she was asking. His chest heaved, warring with the beast. This was his moment, not it’s, gods damn it.
She stood up and kissed him. “Easy,” she whispered against his lips.
He melted into her kiss, soft and gentle. Lost in the sensation, the pain lessened and the pleasure returned. Gods, he wanted her. Right here. Right now. He never meant it to go this far. He was supposed to keep his distance.
Her hands found a rhythm along his cock. Dizzying. He imagined her legs wrapped around him. Him buried deep within her sex. He rocked against her touch, feeling the pull of the beast again.
“That’s it.” Kit gasped and rubbed her body against him.
He cupped her sex again and delved his fingers deep within her. Her panted breaths accelerated with his thrusts into her skilled hands. She tipped her head back and screamed in ecstasy.
His mind snapped and his need exploded in hot bursts. Pleasure shot through his entire body. A feral roar burst from his lungs. Reaching the peak, ecstasy turned to agony. He jerked out of Kit’s arms and staggered out of the shower.
* * *
Kit fell into the now empty space. Hot semen covered her breasts and abdomen. Holy hell. She had never experienced anything like this. Imagine if they had sex? She blew out a breath and followed the wet foot prints on the floor.
Kamen planted his hands against the wall with his forehead pressed to the stone. His back muscles bulged and a rivulet of blood ran down his spine. The color of his skin turned ashen.
She looked down at her hands. Red serum covered her fingertips. She had not remembered scratching him. “Are you okay?” she asked, cautiously stepping forward.
“Stay away,” he snarled.
“I can go get help,” she stuttered, uncertain what to do. How did something so beautiful turn into this?