by Jean Murray
The fear curdling her voice propelled him forward, but he stopped short. Naked with her knees hugged to her chest, she sat upon the stone which was the convergence of the hieroglyphic spell. The very spot he woke up night after night after a feeding. Black blood stained the pale skin of her mouth and neck.
How had she gotten into the chamber? How had she survived the beast?
“I don’t want to hurt you,” Kit said, raising her hand to ward him off.
Hurt him?
He knelt down, certain she was confused. “Gods Kit, how did you get in here? It’s not safe.”
“Asar let me in.” She touched her mouth and stared at the black blood covering her fingertips. Her entire body shuddered.
“Then you saw what I am.”
She nodded and pulled her knees closer.
“Did it hurt you?” He scanned her body for injuries. The smell of fetid blood overpowered the room, making it hard to discern any wounds. He moved closer.
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You cannot hurt me, Kitten.” He reached out his hand. “Come to me. Let me take care of you.”
“I saw what he made me become. I couldn’t control it.” She sobbed into her hands.
He inched closer.
Coldness pushed out from her soul. Her tear soaked eyes lit up with flames. “I said stay away.”
His eyes gravitated to the hieroglyphics etched over her left breast. He sat back on his heels. The bond had done its job, almost too well. She had been purged of Apep, but as Kamen feared, the beast had claimed her soul as well. “I know what you must think of me. Please understand, I wanted to spare you from the truth of what I am. Who I used to be. Apep did not do this to you.” He swallowed against his closing throat. “I did.”
“As long as it’s you and not him.” She wiped her mouth and stared down at the blackness against her palm.
“I did not want this to happen to you. It was a risk of our bonding. A risk I wanted to spare you from.” He lifted her up into his arms.
Wrapping her arms around him, she sobbed.
Both grateful and sad, he was blessed that their bonding had worked to free her of Apep, but in the same right, he wanted a better life for her without his burden. He couldn’t change what had happened. She would need to adapt to the changes.
“Apep looks into the darkest places in our souls, exploits our fears and blackest thoughts. The beast will want to do the same of others, probing for the evil within. It will sense and want to consume it.” Kamen knew it all too well. The constant struggle to prevent the beast from taking the piece of his soul touched by Apep. Kamen feared if he let it go completely, he would never remember the male he once was, what he never wanted to be again. The male undeserving of Kit’s love.
“I know what Apep wants to do. Wanted me to do.”
Kamen nodded. Every condemned soul revealed a portion of Apep’s plan. Kit had seen through the Dark Lord’s eyes, during her possession. “We can use that against him.”
The flames in her eyes burned hotter. Kamen reached out through the bond to her soul, sliding along the thread like tendrils of a vine. His muscles jerked when he made contact with her soul. A churning vortex of anger to match the flames dancing in her eyes. He pushed deeper into her soul, cooling the burn of her pain. The beast stirred in his chest and followed the connection, anxious to bond with its other half.
Kit gasped, her mouth parting with each draw of her breath. “Kamen.”
“Look at me,” he said, absorbing her fear and pain. “We can do this together. You don’t have to fight this alone anymore.” Nor did he, which made her all the more important to him.
“I’m scared.”
Shit, he was too. Petrified in fact. He pulled her to his chest and buried his face into neck. “Kitten. It is going to be okay.”
She clung to him all the harder. “I know this sounds stupid coming from me, but don’t ever leave me.”
“Leaving you is not possible.” He would live and die with her. Her body warmed against his, soothing his worry. “I know you didn’t want this.”
Kit pulled back and met his gaze. “For all the wrong reasons. I wouldn’t change this, Kamen.”
He traced the column of her throat. Her pulse strengthened under his touch. Now that they were bonded, he would need to commit to marrying her to ensure her immortality. An official ceremony and an exchange of blood between the couple would bind their lives and souls together permanently. Despite his reservations he would not enter into war without their lives being bound. “We will need to marry,” he said on a forced breath. It was not the place he would have thought to propose, but considering the circumstances of all that had happened, it could not get worse.
Her brows furrowed and she laced her trembling fingers through his hair. “I never saw myself married.”
Shit, neither did he. He had been alone for so long, he was not sure what life would look like with someone at his side. He did not want to disappoint her.
“What’s wrong? Am I still infected?”
“No.” Kamen ground his fanged teeth. “You understand that you are bound to a criminal. I have been stripped of my title and rank. I have nothing to offer you, but this.” He gestured to the chamber. Resentment hardened his heart.
He would never be free of this, and now he had bound Kit to the same horrible fate.
Chapter Thirty-Four
“I don’t know about this. It is much too soon.” Kamen pursued Kit down the beach. It had been only four hours since emerging from the chamber. Kit had adjusted to her transformation far too quickly. It took him centuries to step outside the chamber. She did so in less than an hour. Her recovery was extraordinarily fast. The paleness of her skin darkened to a healthy glow, and the shadows beneath her eyes receded.
“We will take things slow,” she said and walked to the edge of water, enough that the waves kissed her bare feet. “If I start sprouting fangs, you can transport me back to the chamber.”
If truth be told, he had recovered far quicker than usual, which made him extremely uneasy. The bonding with Kit had an unexpected effect—the beast was more settled, less agitated, allowing him to make love to her several times without incident. Perhaps the spell above the bed held his control, but they would not be protected outside of his room.
The light touch of her fingers on his chest drew his gaze down. She traced the hieroglyphics of a feather and the sun imbedded over his heart. Her symbols. A feather for justice and judgment. The sun glyph was a very powerful symbol, one of life but also destruction. All the more reason to keep her safe.
He stared at the falcon and moon on her chest. Never in his life did he expect to share his symbols with another. Share his soul.
“It doesn’t feel real,” she voiced the very thought running through his head.
He frowned, realizing not all of his thoughts should be heard. “Yes.”
“Does this mean you’ll finally make sense to me?” She cocked her eyebrow.
Releasing her, he stepped back. “Perhaps.”
Kit clamped her hands on her hips and glared at him. “You are back to one word answers. I thought once we were bonded you would open up to me, but I sense none of your emotions. You’re just as closed off to me. Not to mention your heart doesn’t beat when you are close to me. Not one beat.”
He hated to admit she had a point. Asar’s heart beat when Lilly was close, as did Bakari’s with Kendra. Not once did his heart stir with Kit. “I told you, I was different than the others.”
“Stop using the beast as an excuse.”
Excuse? Kamen’s temper flared. “You have no idea what I have been through. What it means for me to be out here.” He gestured towards his surroundings. His life had everything to do with control. No control. No freedom.
“No, I don’t because you don’t say a god damn word about it. Of all people, Kamen. You can share it with me. Especially now that I carry the beast.”
He jammed his fingers throug
h his hair and took several steps away. He had no words for the pain he experienced every day, fighting for control over the beast. Keeping it caged, when all it wanted to do was tear out of his chest and destroy. Guilt rode through him, knowing he had condemned her along with him.
“See, that is what I am talking about. Any time we talk about you, there is nothing but silence. I need to understand you, understand what I will become. That’s what relationships are about.”
He turned his glare her way. “Relationships? Are you the expert now?”
Kit frowned and shrugged her shoulder. “I know a hell of a lot more than you, obviously.”
Kamen snorted.
“Okay, so I don’t know everything, but I know it’s a two way street. You know everything about me. I know nothing about you, other than you have been alone and hurting for a long time.”
He opened his mouth to argue, but it was pointless. She had seen him at his worst. Stayed with him, soothing his agony. The flames eased as he looked at her. The light breeze had loosened the pins in her hair and spilled her long black mane over her shoulders. “I do not want to hurt you.”
Kit walked towards him and lay a palm on his chest. “You keep saying that, but you have done nothing but protect me.”
“You are not the only one Apep has tainted. A piece of my soul belongs to him.” And, always would. “Asar has suffered because of it. Died at my brother’s hands because I was too weak to fight it.” Kamen exhaled a long breath as if he had been holding it for centuries.
“Are you still that same person?”
“I will always be that male.” His guilt would always be there, regardless if Asar forgave him long ago. He was a criminal. A traitor. Disgusted with himself, he pulled away and walked further down the beach. When he’d suggested they take a walk, it was to test her control, not talk about him.
Kit followed and placed her hand on his shoulder.
He jerked away, not wanting her sympathy or comfort, but wanting to slip back to the chamber and accept his punishment. He did not deserve Kit’s love and affection. Accepting it meant he had forgiven himself. Inpu was right, he was afraid to have Kit love him. Only with her would he find peace. Peace, he was not ready to let himself accept.
Warmth filled the space next to him. “You have helped me so much. Saved me when I needed it the most. Let me save you.” She wrapped her fingers through his.
The scent of roses penetrated his senses, making him dizzy. He resisted the urge to fill his lungs completely or else succumb to her spell. Fighting it, he shook his head. “You cannot save me.”
“Then let me set you free.” She slipped her hand against his thigh.
He closed his eyes and hissed out a breath through clenched teeth. One touch and his control was crumbling. He grasped her wrist to stop her ascent. “You do not know what that means, Kit. I cannot do this here.”
“Why not?” With her free hand she grazed the back of his leg. “I know you want to.”
“We already had this discussion. I cannot be too far from the chamber. Nor can you.” Despite his resolve, he could not stop her from tracking seductive circles against his flesh.
“Yes, because the beast will take control over me.” Her eyes flashed bright, challenging him. She twisted her wrist free and tugged at the tie on his waist.
“Stop.” He staggered back, breaking her hold on him. “Why are you pushing me when you know I can’t? Know we can’t, not out here. It is not safe.”
She grasped her hips, accentuating the mounds of cleavage. He forced his eyes away in a failed attempt to stifle his desire.
“I won’t spend my life trapped in some chamber or locked in a room. I know you don’t want to either. As you said, this is a test of my control. You need to trust me. Let me be in control for once.”
“You cannot control it, Kit.”
“Ammut had its chance to hurt me, but it didn’t. The beast had every reason to destroy me, but spared my life, knowing you cared for me.”
“The beast does not have empathy or mercy. It destroys and consumes—nothing more.” Kamen raised his voice, fueled by millenniums of pain and resentment.
“Then explain to me why I was spared. Even now that it’s bonded to me. It hasn’t tried to hurt me or anyone.”
In truth, Kamen was surprised at how well the beast had bonded with Kit. Not once did she appear unstable or out of control. “Consider it a blessing.” He, on the other hand, was not so fortunate.
“Have you ever thought maybe the reason it fights you so much is that you try to control it?”
“People will die, Kit. Do you not understand that fact?”
“Condemned souls die, not people. Ammut rids this world of evil. Saved my life. Maybe it is not the curse you think it is. Maybe it is your salvation.”
After a day bonded with the Devourer, she was an expert? Kamen squeezed the back of his neck. The pain between his shoulders was increasing with each passing second he stood there arguing with her. Kit’s words sickened him. Ammut was not some sentient being with the fate of the world in mind. It was a hungry vicious monster. Pain scored down his back and sent him to his knees with each hateful thought. His vision blurred behind the orange flames of his anger.
“I am not afraid of you.” Kit knelt before him and stared him in the eyes. “I’m in love with you. Stop fighting me.” She grabbed his jaw and kissed him.
“I cannot do this.” A millennium’s old struggle erupted in his chest. A fight for his soul. He arched his back as the beast threatened to break free. Sweat beaded and rolled off into the sand.
Kit’s cool hand shocked his flesh. “Look at me—please.”
He turned his head and her blue eyes captured him. She cupped his face again. “That’s it, focus on me.” She brushed her lips along his forehead and down his temple until she came to his lips. “I love you.”
Too consumed with his pain, he leaned his forehead to hers. Desperate, he reached out along at the threads of their bond to steady himself. Rich in vitality, he grasped and held onto it. “I am afraid,” he heard himself voice for the first time.
“I love you,” she repeated and hugged him.
The cage around his heart cracked and the beast invaded the piece he had always violently defended, the one touched by Apep so long ago. Fire burned through his chest, erupting a cauldron of agony.
“Let it go, Kamen.”
He could not let it go or take it back. The cataclysm had already started and would not end until it burned itself out. The beast surged to life in his chest. Power raced through Kamen’s body and along the bond.
Kit gasped and held onto him. He could not hide or protect her now that chains of control had been broken. He collapsed into the sand, taking Kit with him. Darkness descended, only now the beast was in control. Ammut was unleashed, gods help them.
* * *
Kit awoke to the soft kiss of water and sun against her bare legs and Kamen’s arm draped across her abdomen. She had blacked out the minute they hit the sand. Of course, she was clothed at the time and now not a stitch remained. She lifted her head and surveyed the beach. A heap of black leather and linen clothing sat piled near the rocks. A little unnerving to say the least.
She turned to assess Kamen. The lines of pain contorting his face had disappeared. She traced his mouth with her fingers. No fangs—a good sign. Kamen’s eyes had been filled with fear, the same fear she saw when the siravant had ripped her from his grasp that fateful day. An emotion she thought him incapable of, yet there it was festering in his soul.
The burden he had carried all those years—alone. She had asked him to share everything with her and received far more. Dark and desolate, but also sweet and loving.
Covering his chest with her hand, she smiled at the slow pulsation. A wave of contentment flowed through her soul. There wasn’t anything she wouldn’t do for this male. She knew she was being hard on him. Unfair as it was, they were short on time. Thankfully it appeared whatever separated them b
efore, was gone.
Desire stirring in her belly, she traced her fingers down his abdomen to his groin. She caressed his testicles and his shaft with her fingertip. Tracking back down from the head to the base, he hardened under her touch. She chewed on her lip when a soft groan left his lips and prayed she could wake him this way for many more days.
His grip tightened on her waist despite his eyes remaining closed, his face relaxed. Not for long if she had her way. Already pleasure was tingling between her legs. She gripped his cock and stroked him. She arched and rubbed her now taut nipples against his chest. Still resistant to wake, she kissed his lips.
Frustrated when he didn’t respond, she shook him.
A smile curled his lips and his eyes opened. In one smooth motion he rolled on top of her and plunged between her legs. He kissed her, ravaging her lips and invading her core with long urgent strokes. Heat flooded her sex, settling an ache that was only relieved when he filled her to the hilt.
“You are mine, Kitten.” He grunted when she tightened her channel around him.
Absent during their first encounter, his pleasure rippled across the bond, overwhelming her. Her orgasm broke fast and furious. “Kamen.” Tears slipped from the corners of her eyes. It was the most beautiful experience of her life.
He lifted from her lips and met her watery gaze. “Kitten,” he said, suddenly fully awake. He jerked his head up and looked around. Panic struck his expression. “Gods, what have I done?”
“No.” She grabbed him to prevent him from lifting away from her. “Everything is okay. I’m here.” She forced him to look at her. “I’m here.”
Those tortured black eyes pegged her. “Did I hurt you?”
She smiled and kissed him through her tears. “God no. On the contrary, everything is perfect. Right where I need you.”
He pressed his forehead to hers and rolled his hips. “Kitten?”
“Yes.” She arched into him.
He paused, panting against her throat. “How?”
“You finally let go.”
He stared at her. “That’s what I was afraid of. Where are our clothes?”