A few hours after she had passed out, Saffron woke up with a headache. She felt queasy. Maybe she really did have the flu. She sighed. She knew she didn’t have the flu. She was making herself sick was what she was doing.
A bag of crackers and a can of warm ginger ale were sitting on her bedside table. Her mother left her a note signed with X’s and O’s. It said she could go down to the fridge and reheat dinner if she was hungry. Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and carrots with gravy. Or, if she needed help, to just call out and her mother would come.
Saffron got out of bed and walked to her window. She threw open the panes and gulped in crisp, fresh air. Autumn was her favorite time of year, even now when the nights were getting very crisp with cold. She could smell the apple-drops moldering beneath the apple tree and see every star in the sky as if they were crystals dancing on the inky surface of a black lake. She frowned. The inky blackness of the night sky brought her no joy this evening. She held herself tightly as the flesh seized up on the back of her neck and every little hair stood on end. Her eyes were drawn to the movement of a black shadow beneath her.
The vampire was smiling up at her.
He was right there, just below her, sitting on the roof of the farmer’s porch, on the short decline. His feet were tucked up near his butt; his arms were wrapped loosely around his knees. He was so close she could reach out and touch him. She recoiled, reached to clutch the panes and slam them shut. Her intestines knotted and tried to slither away. All of the blood left her head, leaving her dizzy.
“Don’t bother,” Jethin said. “The old fables and folklore ring true. I can’t come in unless you invite me.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “Hi. I’m Jethin.” He could feel her fear. Each time it took a new form, her fear surrounded and fed him. He kept talking.
She didn’t hear much of what he said at first. The blood had zoomed back into her head and was thumping like a bass drum in her ear canals. His words were muffled, but the sound of his voice was calm and soothing. Soon, it began to work on her. The thumping in her head faded away.
“…silly movies anyway. You know how it is, ‘fear the unknown’.” He snorted, “I’m just a big sweetheart.” He had beautiful, full lips, big, fat lips that widened back to reveal big, beautiful, white teeth. His straight, dark hair was pulled back at the base of his neck. He wore a puffy black parka, black jeans, and black hiking boots.
She still gripped the window; her spastic breath frosted the glass. Her eyes narrowed slightly as she really focused on him for the first time. He sat there cozy enough on the slant of the farmer’s porch roof, which was just below all of the second floor windows on the front of the house. When she was younger, had Saffron been a wild, fun-loving girl, or a mischievous hooligan, she could have easily used the roof as a means to sneak out at night. But Saffron had never had the heart for such a life.
Saffron didn’t know if he, if Jethin, was mulatto, Hispanic, Hawaiian, or what, but he was hot. Li had warned her against such a creature. Saffron knew she would have to take the next few moments very carefully - even if he was giving her the most heart-melting grin. She smiled back, just a small smile. She couldn’t help it. He already made her feel good. His teeth were completely normal except for the fact that they were so perfect, so perfectly white and shiny. “Could you attack me if I was walking around outside?” The statement was a poke, a jab at him to see what his reaction would be, as if she were a little girl at the beach who came upon a meandering crab. Maybe, if she was nice, he would be too; this monster below her that smelled faintly of decay. A scent his four-hundred-dollar cologne couldn’t mask.
“Yep. I could rip your jugular out in two seconds flat and offer it to my mates as a door prize.” He popped some bubble gum into his mouth, formed a string with it after a couple of chews, and twirled it around his tongue. He offered her some. He waved his hand to indicate the farmhouse. “But in your home, you are protected, by…something. The more loving the home, the stronger the charm; and let me tell you, your walls are like Fort Knox. They’re absolutely impenetrable, unless of course, you allow me to pass.” He winked.
She reached out to take the offered gum, then snatched her hand back to hold against her chest. “Why tell me that? I had no idea. You could have tricked me and done whatever it is you wanted to do with me.”
“I don’t want to rip your jugular out, Saffron. That wouldn’t be any fun.” He spoke so pleasantly and smiled so sweetly. He raised a heavy eyebrow at her and appeared to really look at her for the first time. “I’m a lamb. Listen, after we met at the movie theatre I was thinking about you. I mean, why are you glowing?”
She shrugged, and hoped she appeared casual, while every bone in her body clacked inside her skin. “It’s no big deal. It’ll wear off soon.” Her head jerked involuntarily. “Some fairies took me to their home. Now, apparently, I glow like a firefly. To...some…people. It’s only temporary.”
He ‘hmmmed’ and cocked his head. “And why did they take you there?”
Saffron slumped against the window brace and studied the apple tree as it creaked in the cold November night. “Why?” She shook her head slowly. “I don’t wonder why anymore. It just happened.”
He snorted, “Nothing just happens.”
She focused on him. “I can see these like, paranormal things. There are gnomes in my mother’s garden."
“Cool; get the pesticide.”
“And I can see you, your teeth. I saw you that night at the movies.” Her stomach flip-flopped as she held it with both hands. She didn’t think she’d get away with lying to a vampire, not for long anyway.
“So, you’re covered in fairy flotsam. It exposes us – inhuman - to you.”
“Yeah.” She felt let down when his eyes drifted away from her. Maybe he wasn’t really that impressed by ‘fairy flotsam.’ Maybe Li was totally out of touch and didn’t realize vampires weren’t hot for fairy stuff anymore. Saffron felt an inkling of distress as her courage scurried away. She wanted his attention back. “But, you know, whatever.”
“It’s more than, ‘whatever;’ it’s a fantastic power.” He cleared his throat. “I can make it so you would never lose that magic.”
Saffron made the smelly cheese face. “You can?”
He suddenly sprang to his haunches and leaned toward her. “It would be easy.”
She let go of the window brace and stepped back from the sill. “Yeah, no thanks. This fairy power has made my life crap. I know zombies exist because I am one. The sooner it wears off, the better.” She was mumbling again, but didn’t close the window on him.
Something about Jethin changed. His eyes seemed to clear against his will. For a few seconds, Saffron saw naked admiration there, in his eyes, as opposed to the bravado he had been showing up until that moment. Then the machismo came back, and Jethin fixed himself into a casual slouch. Saffron missed none of this and wondered what it meant. She knew one thing; he had thought she was interesting, at least for a moment.
“Saffron, you are absolutely the most fascinating girl I have ever encountered. I could make that permanent. Listen. That light around you is not just fairy magic - it’s your youth. And it’s almost gone.” His lip twitched.
She looked down at her fingernails. “You’re creeping me out.” Her voice was trembling, “I mean, I don’t think I even want those things.”
“You don’t want what?” he snapped. “Your youth? You don’t want your energy? Your vitality? You don’t want the very stuff that makes you interesting?” He shifted to look at her, his body expectant, his eyes intent, his voice low and demanding. “You really don’t want that?”
Saffron shook her head emphatically, causing red waves of hair to ripple and resettle.
Jethin considered this at length. “Huh.” He cleaned gum off his canine with the side of his tongue. He snapped a bubble. “Saffron, do you like going to see the fairies?”
Saffron made a grunt low in her throat. “I could live without it.” But, then she felt ba
d, talking this way about Li behind her back. Yet, she meant it. She wouldn’t mind seeing Li again, but she felt pretty sure she was done with the whole fairyland thing. It wasn’t what she had imagined it would be. As bright and beautiful as it was, there was something wrong with it. Something off - repulsive even. When she was there, she felt she shouldn’t be. The fairies pulled her soul there; the world itself pushed on her until she left.
A look of high surprise stretched Jethin’s eyes. Then again, “Huh.” He changed the subject. He remarked on how cool and still the night was, and then went on to lull her with eloquent words and silly stories. After an hour or so, while Saffron sat on a pile of pillows she had gathered, he noticed her eyes were heavy and her attention waning. He told her he had to be off - an unbreakable engagement. He promised he’d be back. She hadn’t asked if he would come back, he just told her he would return.
She hopped into bed and fell asleep. Just like that, as if it had always been that simple. She didn’t remember any dreams, but there were circles under her eyes in the morning.
One week later, she had just come into her room from the bathroom (where the little ghost boy sat on the counter but didn’t speak), when she felt a presence. She looked around the room; the strain in the back of her neck was painful. There was no one there. She moved her rigid arms out of her t-shirt and her rigid legs out of her jeans. She unhooked her bra and stopped. She had to use every ounce of effort to let the bra fall to the floor and not to cross her arms over her chest. She crossed her arms over her chest. She looked behind her, and then out the window. She saw her reflection - chicken body with wiry arms wrapped protectively. She swore at herself. She would have to remember to shut the curtains now. He could be out there. He was real. She grabbed her tank-top and jammed it on, then hop, hop, hopped quickly into her flannel pants. She slammed the light switch down, raced to her bed, tugged at the feather comforter, and clamped it down over her head.
Tap tap tap. The noise came from her window. Tap tap tap. “Saffron, it’s me.” Jethin’s voice was dulled as it came through the glass.
“Well, duh.” Saffron’s giggle was sprinkled with hysteria. She lowered the comforter and stared at him. She whispered, “Have you been there the whole time?”
He heard her through the window. He was smirking. “You mean long enough to watch you clutch your breasts as if they were going to fly away? No, I didn’t see that.”
Saffron jammed the comforter back over her head.
“Come over here; talk to me.”
She got out of bed and dragged her tuffet over to the window.
He was gone for the two nights following, but visited the next six nights in a row.
One night, just after the grandfather clock at the foot of the stairs chimed midnight, Jethin told her about how he became a vampire. It happened when he was just nineteen years old. When he told stories, he used his whole body, his eyes and his hands and his lush lips to make sound effects. Listening to him was like eating up a holiday meal; he satisfied every craving and left Saffron feeling full and satisfied. He spoke for hours. A few times, Saffron insisted he answer her questions. They both enjoyed themselves and laughed often. He was confident. He was affecting. And after these several long nights, she was completely attached to him.
Jethin glanced at the horizon. A pinkish light was gathering strength at the edge of the earth. “I’ll need to be going very soon. Beauty sleep, you know.”
Saffron hugged herself as she watched the first streaks of dawn fingering up from the back of the ocean. She knew her body was asking for sleep, but her mind was so exhilarated. Jethin was no monster. She could stay up with him forever. And, as a plus, she was able to mostly ignore the very faint, dead wood smell of him.
“I love it when you visit.” Then, realizing her blunder, her eyes widened with shock. She had never told him how she felt before. What was she saying? Did she just cross one of those invisible barriers? Because she said that, would he be able to get at her? Close enough to hurt her? Her family? Quickly, she tried to cover her tracks. “What I mean is,” her rushed words tumbled out on piggyback, “you can sit here again, on my roof, and talk. But, that’s it; okay?”
“As you wish. I’ll return to talk to you again and nothing more. If that’s truly what you want. Either way, I promise you will never be one of my meals.” He winked at her, then jumped down from the roof, quiet as a cat.
Saffron sat in her windowsill long after Jethin left. A trill of delight shot up her arms, across her chest and bathed her in delicate little quakes. This was different. He was different. She wasn’t attracted to him in the same way she was attracted to Markis, which she could confirm was definitely puppy love; she didn’t want him the way she wanted Ny, which bordered on obscene. She liked him because he was so confident. He was what she was not: strong.
She listened to the ocean. Over the cliff, she heard the waves crashing and booming against the rocks. High tide. As she shut the window, a cold wind came to blow through the naked limbs of the apple tree. She pulled the window shut and secured the lock, then dropped on her bed and snuggled with her comforter. The forecaster said the first snow would arrive tomorrow - two inches! Outside, it was lighter all at once. Saffron felt her heart beating. She felt her physical life. The rhythm matched the booms from the ocean. It made her feel strong. Was it because of Jethin?
Chapter 13
Li found Ny squatting by the stream where he had sat with Saffron. He was teasing the tiny water pixies. The pixies were beside themselves. Here they were, minding their own business, bathing in the stream, when along came this form of male perfection who chose to spend his time with them. In the middle of their bath, wet and shining, they flirted with him with glee. He splashed them and they splashed him and flew about his face, giving out tiny kisses and rubbing their little bodies against his cheek.
“Now what have you done, Ny? Sincerely, you are the most wicked thing I know.” Li waited for Ny to leap up and defend himself, as was his way. He didn’t. She poked again, “Do tell, are you really a fairy or just some lower-rung demon?” Li gave up the lighthearted pretense. She put her hands on her hips. “Saffron moans in her sleep about you.”
Ny smirked.
“She moans to be left alone. She moans for you to leave her mind.” Li’s black pupils dilated and shrunk like they were breathing.
Ny continued to play with the pixies as if Li were not there. The pixies looked from the female fairy to the male in bewilderment. When they saw him ignore the female with great concentration, they decided to snub her as well.
“Very well. If you will not leave her alone, I will be forced to go to her and tell her the truth. Although I know it will cause her to suffer greatly, I hope it will also make her wise to you, and give her the strength she needs to be rid of you. When she learns of the truth of our lives, I will then instruct her on how to block you out. Completely. No more journeys into her mind for you.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Please, we will all be back together soon enough. Do not drive her in the wrong direction.”
“Your threat will remain a threat only, will it not? You have no intention of going against me, sister. Not with all of your terrible little secrets.” He massaged his biceps, fully enjoying the feel of himself. “Too bad I know all of your secrets. You could get away with so much without me as your guide.”
“Do not make light of this. It is not a game!” When she screamed, the water pixies scattered into the air. Some crashed into each other in the splashy confusion, then plopped back into the water. They dragged themselves to a rock, gathered their clothing of spider silk and flower petals, and then bobbed away like a flurry of butterflies. “Good, all of your admirers have left. What are you now? You are nothing without the Godly worship of females.” She pumped her wings in staccato bursts, causing her long, white length of hair to get caught up where the wings grew out of her back. She picked up a stone and hurled it as hard as she could off into the sunlit forest. The veins pulsed wi
th fire beneath her clear skin.
“You are nothing! Nothing to her without me! You need me to keep her around, keep her for you.” He shot to his feet. “So behave and maybe I will let you stay.” He jabbed his chest with his thumb. “I provide something for them to worship. It is what I expect. It is what I receive. If you commanded such from others, you would receive the same. You could have more than her, thousands more! But you only want your pet. Do not preach at me!” He bared his lips and clacked his top teeth to his bottom teeth. He had a delicious secret. If Li knew that he had shown Saffron the dark lake and the empty shore, her anger would indeed be immeasurable. The fairy world might just experience the first fairy murder attempt since the dawn of time. He snickered. He had been murdered before. Actually, he had been snuffed out in several lifetimes. Many a time, irate husbands had taken his life in a fit of rage. Once, he was even murdered by one of Saffron’s husbands. Saffron was such an enjoyable soul. He would never give her up. She was like wild fowl - simple, but when prepared correctly, absolutely the most succulent flavor on earth. That never got old, no matter how often it was consumed. No, she would always be his, just as she always had been. Saffron wanted this, too. She just liked to cluck and squawk before she allowed him his way.
This was such a strange turn of events, the thing Saffron had gone and done, as odd as finding a toddler wobbling down a freeway. He liked to puzzle over it with his free time. Still, he felt confident that control was ultimately his. It was the way it always was. This was but a momentary lapse, this separation from Saffron - nothing but a sigh in the line of time. He was determined to enjoy this moment as a game. There was, after all, nothing else to do.
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