“Fair enough.”
“But I do really like her. She’s just great. She has this spark in her eyes, Autumn. You know, like she wants more in life but doesn’t know where to turn?”
“And it’s taken you moving here for her to realise it?” Autumn quirked an eyebrow. “You must be special.”
“Not necessarily, no. I just feel like she wants more.”
“With you?”
“No. In life.” Harper busied herself in the kitchen, making coffee for them both. She grabbed her phone from the counter as she brought their drinks through, placing the mugs down on the coffee table. “She owns the B&B up the road. It’s literally her life.”
“Ooh, I’d love to own a B&B.”
Harper frowned. “You would?”
“Oh, yeah. It must be nice and cushy.”
Harper didn’t get that impression at all. Cait was always run off her feet. “Then you’re sadly mistaken. She works her arse off.”
“And you want to get into a relationship with someone who dedicates her life to work?”
“Beats being with someone who dedicates her life to shagging around.”
Autumn nodded as she settled back onto the couch, pulling the handle at the side to release the footrest. Harper’s best friend looked like she belonged there. “Good choice, pal.”
“The couch or the woman?”
“Huh. I’m undecided. I have to meet this mysterious Cait before I can give you my blessing on that front.”
Harper gulped, taking her coffee from the table. Cait probably wasn’t into that. And Harper could hardly blame her. Autumn wouldn’t be dating Cait, so what did it matter the opinion she had? “She’s probably jam-packed this weekend, but maybe in the future.”
“Probably?”
Harper tugged her earlobe. “I don’t know what her plans are. She was here last night, but I kinda turned down her offer of a date.”
“Okay, you’ve lost me.” Autumn held up her hand. “Do you want to date her or not?”
“I do. Absolutely, I do. But like I said, I’m not sure I’m ready yet. I feel like I only left Callie a minute ago.”
“So?”
“So, Cait deserves more than that. I need Callie completely out of my head before I give my all to Cait.”
Autumn narrowed her eyes. “You’re still thinking about that bitch? Why?”
“I’m not thinking about her. But I’m still reeling from what she did to me, Autumn. I mean, she was here just last weekend. She was asking me if there was a chance we could ever be together again. And it doesn’t matter that I told her no. She still asked that question and kissed me while she was engaged.”
“Fuck her. She’s dead to me.”
“Me too. Mostly.”
“Mostly?” Autumn scoffed.
“Look. We were together for four years. I was planning the wedding of all weddings. I’d even finished the invitations, and she’d picked out the chair cover colour. It’s not as simple as just erasing her from my mind. Surely you understand that?”
“I do. Kinda. But this Cait woman may not hang around while you decide what you’re doing with your life. And if she met someone else, could you blame her?”
“No, I couldn’t.”
“So, it’s time to do what’s right for you. Fuck the rest of them. You were always too good for Callie. I wish you could see that.”
“But not good enough for her when it came to being happy and content. It’s all a bit fucked up.”
“She’ll never change. And I think her being here last week only shows you that. If you’re thinking for one second about taking her back, I can’t be your friend. I love you to death, but if you entertain her for a second longer, we’re going to have issues.”
“I’m not stupid.” And Harper really wasn’t…not usually. But Callie had been her one moment of weakness. Everyone had at least one, didn’t they? “She’s more than out of my life. But do you think I’m ready? Honestly?”
“Depends.”
Harper sighed. “On what?”
“Whether you’re willing to give this woman the benefit of the doubt and realise that not everyone is the same as Callie.”
“I don’t need to give Cait the benefit of the doubt. She’s perfect. I’m not sure she’s stepped out of line once in her life. And I trust her. I don’t know her, and I trust her.”
“Then you asking me if you’re ready is a waste of breath, my friend.”
“Okay, so…maybe I could see if she’s available tomorrow, and I’ll do Sunday dinner. What do you think?”
“I think that’s a nice idea. It’s nothing too drastic and it will give you a feel for what could potentially happen. Did you want me to leave earlier?”
“No, I’d really like you to meet her…but just don’t throw 20 questions at her.”
“I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardise this for you. You know that.”
“I know.”
Cait checked her makeup in the mirror beside the front door to the B&B. Tonight hadn’t originally been in her plans, but here she was, heading out to dinner. Jude had encouraged her and Mandy had demanded Cait show up at the restaurant in question, but she couldn’t be sure she was doing the right thing. She knew it wouldn’t come to anything, this was merely a date she’d been guilted into, but Mandy was right. Cait would never leave another woman sitting alone in a restaurant. Even if it had been Mandy who promised Liz that Cait would show.
Cait could deal with her best friend at a later date, she deserved one hell of a reprimand for doing this to her, but Liz was waiting at the restaurant three blocks away, so Cait really had to rush.
“You look great, Cait.” Jude appeared behind her as she checked she didn’t have any lipstick on her teeth. “And I’m really happy you’re going on a date.”
“It’s not really a date when I’m not keen on the idea, is it?”
Jude shoved his hands in his pockets. “You never know. Liz could be great and you two could get on really well.”
Jude was right, but Cait was still holding onto the idea that Harper may one day be ready. “Maybe.”
“I know what you want deep down, but how long are you willing to wait?” Jude asked. “A few weeks? Until next year? You deserve more than that, Cait. You deserve to find someone now, not when it suits Harper.”
But that wasn’t how Cait felt about it all. She could completely understand the predicament Harper was in, and, in some ways, she appreciated Harper’s honesty. Cait didn’t want to spend her time in the arms of a woman who wasn’t entirely sure yet. She also didn’t want to put herself in a position where she could fall for Harper only for that sentiment to not be returned. “I should go. Liz will be waiting.”
“That’s the spirit.”
Cait sighed as she reached for her long black overcoat. As the draught seeped through the door, she was beginning to regret her choice of little black dress and heels. It was winter, not the height of summer. “I shouldn’t be late.”
“Are you sure you don’t want a lift to the restaurant?”
“It’s three blocks away, Jude. I’ll be there in five minutes.”
“It’s a cold one tonight…”
“I need the fresh air. Maybe I’ll realise the mistake I’m making before I get there.” Cait could realise the mistake ten times over, and she still wouldn’t let Liz down. It wasn’t her fault that Mandy had meddled in something that didn’t concern her. So Cait would enjoy dinner and pray to God Liz didn’t expect anything more. “See you in a few hours.”
She didn’t wait for another remark from Jude. The sooner Cait forced herself out of the B&B, the sooner her nerves would subside. Maybe she could take a few positives from this evening. If nothing else, it would give her an idea of what dating looked like these days. Harper, if she ever changed her mind, wouldn’t see her as being so out of practice when the time came.
Cait crossed the street, the darkness comforting in some way as she approached Harper’s house. This time, she w
ould keep her eyes ahead of her. The consequences of peeking last time hadn’t done her any favours. If anything, doing so had only given her less time with Harper for jumping to conclusions.
But then Harper’s front door opened, a flash of that beautiful auburn hair catching Cait’s attention. Her stomach rolled; she hadn’t really wanted to see Harper this evening. Not when she was about to go on a supposed date with another woman. Shit!
“Wow.” Harper dropped the sack of rubbish in her hand to the floor, her mouth agape. “You look…wow!”
“Thanks.” Cait gripped her clutch bag, removing her black leather gloves from her coat pocket. She may only be a short distance from the restaurant, but Jude was right. It was icy this evening.
“Off somewhere special?” Harper asked, her eyes travelling Cait’s entire body. “I mean, whoever is in your company tonight had better be grateful.”
“Just…dinner.” It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the complete truth either. “Do you have plans?”
“Autumn arrived this afternoon. We’re just about to put a film on and catch up with one another.”
“Well, have a lovely evening.” Cait tucked a curl behind her ear, looking down at the floor.
“You know, I could walk you into town if you wanted me to…”
Cait lifted her head, frowning. “Why would you want to walk me into town?”
“So you’re not walking alone at night. I don’t like the idea of that.” Harper quickly disposed of her rubbish in the correct wheelie bin, rushing to the door. “Wait there. I’ll grab my coat and some shoes. Autumn won’t mind.”
“Harper, it’s fine.”
“Cait.” Harper sighed. “Just let me walk you into town.”
“It’s a date.” Cait’s words tumbled from her mouth, something she instantly regretted when Harper’s shoulders visibly slumped.
“Oh,” Harper said. She quickly picked herself back up again, but Cait had seen the disappointment. She knew how Harper felt; she didn’t particularly want tonight to happen either. “Well, I…uh.” Harper’s flustered words filtered quietly through the air between them. “H-have a lovely night. I hope the lucky lady appreciates the effort you’ve put in. You look gorgeous.”
“It probably won’t come to anything.” Cait tried to justify her reasons, perhaps even her expectations, but Harper looked as though she was ready to end this conversation. “Just…getting a feel for it all again.”
“I still don’t mind walking you.” Harper lifted a shoulder slightly, her eyes not finding Cait’s.
“Really, it’s fine.”
“Okay.” Harper stepped back, almost losing her footing as she stumbled over the threshold. She caught herself on the door, gripping it as she balanced herself. “Bye, Cait.”
Cait remained still for a moment, considering her next move. She could call off the date and head back home, but she really didn’t like that idea. Not only would Liz feel as though she’d been stood up, but Cait had gone to a lot of effort to plan her evening and her outfit. “It’s just dinner,” she muttered to herself. “And Harper isn’t ready.”
Cait took one final glance at Harper’s house and shook her head as she finally found the strength to move her legs. The longer she stood here, the more she wanted to turn around and lock herself away, pyjamas her only comfort tonight. But Cait would push on and show her face. It wasn’t the end of the world that she had to spend time with another woman.
Cait set her cutlery down and pushed her plate away, full to bursting from the Italian meal she’d just shared with Liz. The restaurant was quiet considering it was Saturday, but the cold snap they were going through often meant less people milling about. The problem was, with less people around them, it felt more intimate. And that really was the last thing Cait needed.
Liz was delightful, hilarious too, but she really wasn’t what Cait was looking for. Since they’d received their food, Liz had talked about nothing other than moving onto a cocktail bar with potential shots on the cards later on. While Cait loved Liz’s enthusiasm for a good night out, Cait really wasn’t a big drinker. She never had been. The B&B played a big role in that reason since she didn’t have the luxury of waking up with a hangover every weekend, but, she preferred to be the sober one within her group of friends anyway.
“So, how was your food?” Liz asked, her soft eyes staring back at Cait. “I’ve only been here once before but that was impressive.”
“It was lovely. I feel as though I need to lie down now, though.” Cait took her wine glass in her hand, drinking the last remaining drop.
“No time for lying down, Cait. Those cocktails are calling our names.”
Cait offered a slight smile, relaxing back in her seat. “As much as I’d love to, I really shouldn’t. Tomorrow is check out day for the current guests. I have to be available from breakfast onwards.”
“I’m sure Jude can look after the guests.” Liz’s hand suddenly shifted, snaking towards Cait’s that sat on the tabletop. “I feel like I still don’t know a lot about you.”
That can only be a good thing. Cait didn’t often offer up a lot of information about herself. There really wasn’t much to tell. “I really can’t. I’m sorry.”
“Okay, so how about we get ourselves another bottle of wine for the table? Here is good enough if you’re okay with that?”
“By all means, you enjoy another bottle. But I think I’ll settle for a cappuccino.”
Liz lifted her hand and called for the waiter. Once she’d ordered their drinks, Liz focused back on Cait. “I can’t believe we’ve both lived in this town all our lives and we’re only just getting together now.”
Getting together? Oh, no. That wasn’t what was happening here. Not at all. “I spend seven days a week working. I don’t really usually have time to do this.”
“But you made an exception for me. I’m so happy about that.” Liz reached further forward, her fingertips touching Cait’s. But Cait felt nothing. No spark. No connection. No…nothing. “And we should definitely do this again.”
“Could you excuse me for a moment?” Cait threw her thumb over her shoulder towards the wooden bathroom door. “I’ll just be a few minutes.”
“Of course. Yes.” Liz grinned, watching Cait as she left the table with her clutch bag in hand.
When Cait reached the safety of the bathroom stall, she took her phone from her bag and brought up her messages. Before she left Harper last night, they’d exchanged numbers. Right now, she was more than happy they’d done so.
C: Hi, it’s Cait. Can you call me to get me out of this date?
Cait sent off the message, waiting until she received the little read receipt at the bottom of the bubble, but it didn’t come. She tapped her foot against the floor, blowing out a deep breath. She didn’t expect an immediate response from Harper, so she unlocked the door, put her phone away, and washed her hands. Harper would surely call soon. She had to.
Cait focused on herself in the mirror. She didn’t have that brightness in her eyes that she did when she was with Harper. She didn’t feel that fire in her belly as they embraced. She really didn’t feel a single thing about this date.
It’s not a date, Cait told herself. It’s simply dinner with another resident of the town.
Cait steeled herself and left the bathroom. Liz was watching her just as she had moments ago. And while she felt good about herself when another woman was drooling over her, this was not the woman she wished to be sitting with.
“Sorry about that.” Cait spied her cappuccino waiting for her. She added half a sachet of brown sugar and stirred, avoiding eye contact with Liz. “So, what do you do when you’re not working?”
“Usually down the pub with the girls. I play darts on weekends.”
“Nice.” Cait had no idea what else to say to Liz. They really didn’t have very much in common with one another. “Have you played for long?”
Liz blew out a deep breath. “Must be coming up to 20 years now.”
�
��I can’t say I’ve ever picked up a dart.”
“You should try it sometime. Maybe that could be our next date. Darts and beer.”
Okay, Cait couldn’t do this any longer. It was painfully clear how incompatible they were. And yes, she wasn’t looking for someone that was entirely like her, but, still, some kind of similar interest would help. “Liz…”
“Yeah?”
“I’m sorry, but this really isn’t working for me.” Cait felt terrible, but she couldn’t prolong this for another second. “Mandy set this date up without my knowledge.”
Liz’s eyes widened. “You mean you’ve been sitting here for the sake of it?”
“I didn’t want to let you down,” Cait explained. “But I’ve still had a lovely evening.”
“Well, if I wasn’t already into you, I certainly am now. That’s a really nice thing you did by showing up.”
Cait blushed, lowering her eyes. “I’m really not in a position to date. Mandy shouldn’t have taken it upon herself to lead you to believe otherwise.” That wasn’t quite the truth, and Cait hated lying, but Liz wouldn’t know any better if Harper suddenly appeared in the picture. She hadn’t seen this woman in two years and even that was by sheer chance; she doubted she would start to bump into her at every turn now. “Let me get the bill. It’s the least I can do.”
“No, we’ll split it.”
“Please, I insist.” Cait had never felt so guilty before. She may have meant well by showing up tonight, but she’d still led Liz on. “It’s the least I can do after wasting your time.”
Liz’s features softened. “Believe me, you haven’t wasted a second of my time.”
Please stop saying things like that. Cait focused on her bag as she took her credit card from her purse. She’d been honest with Liz, but that didn’t seem to matter to the other woman. Liz clearly still wanted to continue this.
“I’ll pay at the bar, okay? Did you want to walk back up the hill together, or?”
“You haven’t even finished your cappuccino.”
Breaking Routine Page 10