“If I could borrow an old shirt or something, I don’t see why not.”
“What about work?”
Cait leaned in, her lips slow dancing against Harper’s. “What about you?”
Nobody had ever put Harper first like that. Not really. And though she didn’t expect it all the time, she certainly wouldn’t turn down Cait’s offer to stay over. She may have worries, but she wasn’t completely stupid.
“You mean…us?”
Cait nodded, her eyes fluttering closed as she leaned in again and whispered, “Yes. Us.”
Chapter Nineteen
Cait cracked one eye open, an expanding feeling in her chest as she felt Harper’s arms wrapped around her. She never knew she needed another woman’s embrace quite like this. The years she’d spent single were not overly concerning to her, but now that she’d woken beside Harper after a beautiful Valentine’s dinner, Cait knew there was no going back.
She had always been fairly certain with the path her life was taking. Every morning she woke with breath in her lungs she knew she was incredibly lucky, but the certainty she felt in Harper’s presence was different. It was like an anchor. A weight that kept her grounded but uplifted all at once.
Harper really had brought an inspiration out in Cait. What that inspiration was for, she didn’t know, but the positivity Cait felt lately was something she was holding onto.
Harper shifted behind her, those arms loosening from around Cait’s waist. But Cait wasn’t ready for this moment to end just yet, so she took a hold of Harper’s hand and gripped it against her. “Not yet. Stay here a while longer.”
Harper relaxed again behind Cait, snuggling closer, her nose buried in the back of Cait’s neck. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“I was already awake.”
Harper lifted her head, peering over Cait. “Why are you awake so early?”
“This is late for me.”
“Right, yeah. You’re probably already working by 7, aren’t you?”
Cait stretched, rolling onto her back. “Pretty much but being here is so much more enjoyable than any morning I’ve had in a long time.”
“Good to know.” With her head propped up in her hand, Harper stared down at Cait. Those blue eyes would forever hold a special place in Cait’s heart, no doubt about it. “Did you sleep okay?”
“There was a reason I loved this house when I viewed it.” Cait sighed.
“And…”
“It’s the calmness of it,” Cait said, lifting her hand and brushing Harper’s hair from her face. “Put you in the picture too, and it’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
“I’m really happy you stayed last night. After I’d spent the evening with you, I really didn’t want to see you leave. I didn’t want to come to bed alone. Just sleeping with you in my arms was amazing.”
“I’m sure it wasn’t much different before you moved here. You were in a long-term relationship.”
“This isn’t the same thing,” Harper said with a determination in her eyes. She seemed so calm and focused this morning. Certain about what she wanted. “Nothing I’ve ever felt with you is anything remotely like what I had in my last relationship.”
“I’m hardly exciting.”
Harper feathered her thumb across Cait’s cheek, leaning down and brushing her nose against Cait’s. “You make me excited. For life. For a relationship again. For love…one day.”
“I’ve never worried about being single, it suited me with the life I have, but I’d be willing to change whatever I could to keep you, Harper. Before I leave this house today, I need you to know that.”
“You’re perfect exactly how you are.” Harper’s lips ghosted over Cait’s, that familiar smile she seemed to wear whenever their lips met presenting itself once again. “I wouldn’t ever want you to change. This…it works.”
“For how long, though?” Cait asked, fear of losing Harper settling deep in her belly. “I know this is new, more so for me than anything else, but how long will me cancelling plans be acceptable for?”
“I met you knowing full well what you do. And I still loved everything I saw. If you think for one moment that I’m going to get arsey because you have a business to run, then I’m not sure you know me at all.”
Cait sighed, tears pricking her eyes. “I feel like I’ve known you forever.”
“And isn’t that how it’s supposed to feel? Comfortable with minimal pressure. Relaxed and laidback.”
“I-I don’t know.” And Cait really didn’t. She was the last person to ask when it came to dating. “Is it?”
“To me, it is.”
Cait loved this side of Harper. She loved the vulnerability in her eyes as she spoke openly and honestly about how she felt and what she expected from Cait. But most of all, Cait loved how Harper never pushed for anything. It made everything feel so much more natural between them. “You’ll tell me if you need more from me, though?”
“I need this,” Harper whispered, her hand settling on the bare skin of Cait’s stomach. “Just us. Like this. Whenever I can have it.”
But Cait wasn’t thinking about the future any longer. She was thinking about the here and now. And right now, Harper had her hands on Cait’s skin, the heat sending a roaring desire through Cait’s entire body. Harper could have whatever she wanted this afternoon, tomorrow, next month, but Cait knew exactly what she needed this morning, and it wasn’t Harper’s words or her reassurance. It was her hands, her lips, skin-on-skin contact.
Cait placed a gentle hand against Harper’s shoulder, pushing her down against the mattress. Now propping her own head up with her hand, Cait stared Harper down, studying her beautiful features. “I don’t have anywhere to be until later today…”
“Y-you don’t?” Harper swallowed, that vulnerability still there as Cait sat up and lifted Harper’s old, baggy university T-shirt from her body. Cait had never been so bold. “O-oh,” Harper said, her voice low as Cait crawled towards her, settling on top of her body. “Cait?”
“Yes?”
“Are you sure I’m who you want?”
Cait tilted her head, offering a small smile. “Are you really asking me that?”
“I just…if we do what I think we’re about to do…” Harper paused, closing her eyes briefly. “I can’t go through with it unless you’re sure about me. I don’t think I could handle that attachment to you only to lose it.”
“Hey,” Cait whispered against Harper’s lips. “Look at me.” When Harper did exactly that, the intensity of her stare made Cait gasp lightly. God, Harper was heartbreaking. “I’m sure about you. I’m sure about this. I know what I want.” She sat up, curling her fingers under Harper’s T-shirt. “I really know what I want.”
Harper sat upright, gripping the back of Cait’s neck and kissing her hard. Cait had no idea what was to come with Harper in her life, but the wetness that had suddenly gathered between her legs told her exactly what would happen before the morning was over.
Cait dragged her lips from Harper’s, leaning back as she almost tore the T-shirt from the curvy body in front of her. Cait had always been a huge fan of curves, and as she focused on Harper’s half naked body, her light pink nipples, Cait couldn’t contain herself any longer. She needed Harper. She wanted this morning to last until the end of eternity because Cait knew the moment she gave herself to this woman, nothing would ever be the same again. It couldn’t possibly be.
She should have felt embarrassed, she should be devastated that she’d made the first move, but Cait resisted the urge to care. She’d never been overly adventurous when it came to sex, and most of the time, which wasn’t often, it happened under the covers with the lights off. But not this time. And never again. Harper really had brought out an entirely new world for Cait; one she hadn’t necessarily dreamt of going to before.
If Cait just focused on the reason she was here in bed with Harper, if she just forgot about the fact that being single had always suited her, this morning could be earth
shattering. In every way imaginable. If Cait could just reach out and touch Harper’s pale skin, run her fingers through her thick auburn hair, it would keep her grounded.
Harper lifted one hand, bringing it up Cait’s shoulder and towards her neck. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
A shiver ran down Cait’s spine at Harper’s touch. Gentle, but with a passion twisted into it. Soft, but confident. “You.”
“Good things, I hope.” Harper grinned that adorable smile Cait was quickly getting lost in every day. “Because I know right now, I’m feeling only good things.”
“I’m not sure you bring anything other than good thoughts…”
Harper wrapped both arms around Cait’s waist, craning her neck and leaning into another kiss. This position, how Harper held Cait as she wrapped her legs around Harper’s midsection…God, it was intense. The skin-on-skin contact kept Cait warm, the softest hands trailing up and down her naked back, nipples pressing together.
“I’m so happy you’re here with me this morning,” Harper said, her voice laced with desire. “You make me feel like I belong here. With you.”
Cait touched Harper’s cheek lightly, determined to enjoy every second of this. She had Harper within arm’s reach, and there was no chance she was letting her go. “You make me feel that, too.”
“Why are you single, Cait?” Harper’s inquisitive eyes begged to know the answer. To tell her, honestly. “I don’t understand.”
“Maybe I’ve been waiting for the one.” Cait was fully aware of how ridiculous that likely sounded, but nobody had caught her attention for most of her adult life. Cait didn’t look, she didn’t put herself out there, but surely that didn’t mean nobody else was interested. Perhaps she just didn’t have that intrigue most women did. Perhaps she was just…plain. “Maybe this day, this moment, is what I’ve been searching for all my life.”
“You believe that?” Harper’s voice shook, her eyes never straying from Cait’s. “That I could be the one?”
Cait tilted Harper’s chin, placing the softest of kisses to her lips. “I think you are the one.”
Harper’s hand settled on Cait’s backside, gripping her with an undeniable urge to take this further. But Cait was too lost in Harper’s eyes to even comprehend what was happening anymore. Before she could think, Cait found herself on her back, Harper staring down at her, her body pressing her into the mattress.
“I always wondered if I’d ever find someone like you,” Harper said, her voice hoarse. “Someone who has the most beautiful personality. Someone who makes me feel as though I can be myself. Someone who wants the same things I do.”
Cait held Harper against her, her voice soothing.
“I never thought I’d settle here. I wanted to, I really needed to, but I didn’t think it was possible. I may not show it on the outside, not really, but I was broken when I got into my car and drove here. I hated the way she made me feel. But you, Cait…you put me back together without even knowing it.”
And Cait really hadn’t known it. Yes, she’d made her intentions known, but she didn’t for one second imagine that Harper would see her this way. Honestly, Cait was overwhelmed.
“Sex is a powerful thing, Cait.”
Cait’s heart stopped momentarily. Was Harper going to turn her down now that she’d given her a speech?
“But you have already overpowered my entire world just by being in it, and now…I really need to touch you.” Harper shifted back, her mouth caressing its way up between Cait’s breasts. Her breath caught as soft lips kissed along the swell of her left breast, Harper’s fingertips gently touching the right. “You’re like the breath I never knew I needed.”
“I’d never hurt you, Harper.”
Harper hadn’t expected this to happen this morning. Waking up beside Cait had been a dream come true, but to have her almost naked beneath her, milky skin soft to the touch, Harper felt as though she had struck gold.
This didn’t happen to her. Not usually. Yes, she’d been lucky to meet Callie, but really, it had been nothing more than a curse. They may have had good times with one another, but Callie had stripped every ounce of confidence Harper possessed when she admitted her wrongdoing with Ruby. And she hadn’t even apologised. Not really. At least, not when it mattered the most.
Harper still remembered that evening when she finally called Callie out. The lack of interest in Callie’s once pretty eyes, the self-assured stance she held as she sucked every drop of confidence from Harper. It didn’t feel as though it had happened long ago, and really it hadn’t, but Harper knew she was exactly where she was supposed to be this morning.
She may have Callie in her head occasionally, but it was nothing to distress herself, or Cait, with. And after this morning, she wasn’t sure she would give Callie another second of her headspace again. There was someone new in there now. Someone who didn’t make her feel like she was in the wrong. Someone who didn’t lay blame on her shoulders. No, this someone was exactly what Harper imagined as she was growing up. Cait. Her gentle smile. Her warm nature. Her honesty and dreams for the future.
And now Harper was ready to delve deeper into the woman beneath her. Literally and metaphorically. Because Cait really was the one who mattered most to her. Not Callie. Not the past. Just this moment. It was time to move forward.
Harper kissed her way down Cait’s stomach, smiling when she reached a spot that clearly tickled. As Cait shuddered, her hands gripping the bedspread, Harper continued on her path to absolute bliss. Her fingers found the waistband of Cait’s lacy, deep red underwear. Wasting no time, Harper slid them down Cait’s thighs, dragging them from her legs and away from her body. Where they landed was anyone’s guess; Harper’s full focus was now on Cait. Where it would remain.
With her hands on Cait’s thighs, gently palming her skin, Harper watched on in delight as Cait’s legs fell open. Hot, wet heat caught her attention, Cait’s glistening sex just begging to be touched. To be relieved of the pent-up tension they both felt. But Harper wanted another second to herself. To admire. To adore. To fall hopelessly in love with everything Cait was.
And then Harper’s want came back tenfold as she crawled on top of Cait. Gorgeous, naked Cait. Wow. Harper had to stop and breathe for a second. She was fairly certain she would pass out if she didn’t. And the last thing Cait needed was for Harper to not be fully present.
As she came face to face with Cait, their lips brushing, tongues dancing, Harper became enveloped by Cait in her entirety. She’d never felt a connection with someone that touched her soul; Harper had never truly believed something so strong was possible, but this moment had proven her wrong once and for all. This moment…was a dream. Vivid, but one that had the potential to end at any moment.
Cait brushed the back of her hand against Harper’s cheek, and she immediately leaned into her touch. It was gentle, inviting, sending excitement coursing through Harper’s entire body. Her sole focus was Cait. And as she looked into her pretty eyes, Harper knew Cait would become her sole focus for many years to come.
The heartbreak that consumed her lifted, that sense of not being good enough diminishing with every blink of Cait’s eyes, but it was the way in which Cait’s chest rose and fell that captured Harper. Her breath was laboured. Her skin glistened. Cait wanted Harper in a way nobody had ever wanted her before. She hadn’t realised that would mean so much, but it did. It meant that Harper had left an impression on Cait. It meant that, just maybe, Cait really did want to take this further. To see what future they could have.
Harper steeled herself, closing her eyes as tears worked their way towards the surface. She didn’t want to cry. She didn’t want to come to the conclusion that she wasn’t worthless because she never should have felt that way about herself. Harper, deep down, knew that she could make someone happy. Callie, perhaps not, but Cait? God, she really wanted to make Cait happy.
Her hand slid between them, Harper’s fingertips gathering Cait’s wetness.
A gasp.
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A writhe.
Cait really was worked up, and Harper took pride in that knowledge. She’d always strived to know what she was doing when it came to women and their bodies, but Harper wasn’t sure it would have mattered this morning. Cait was desperate, that much was clear in the way she clenched her jaw, her eyes squeezed shut. “Hey, look at me,” Harper dipped her head, whispering those words gently.
Cait’s eyes fluttered open, a soft smile playing on her mouth.
“That’s better.”
Harper positioned herself against Cait, their bodies flush, clits pressing against one another’s. Harper could barely contain herself as that intense sensation coursed through her, skin prickled with goosebumps. Cait gripped Harper’s neck, pulling her down into a deep, heated kiss. As Harper ground her hips against Cait, the moan that spilled into Harper’s mouth was almost as earth-shattering as she knew her orgasm would be. “Fuck.”
Her hands braced either side of Cait’s head, Harper ground harder, throwing her head back as Cait met every thrust with her own hips. “Y-you feel so good.”
With soft hands gripping her backside, Harper knew Cait was close. It may be over no sooner than it was starting, but Harper could hardly blame Cait for not wanting to prolong this. They both knew what they wanted—apparently, they had for some time—so why wait? Why not enjoy this moment, and wait in anticipation for the next? It made perfect sense.
Harper shifted her leg, now straddling Cait’s thigh as she focused on the woman beneath her. She needed to touch Cait, to sink inside her and give her exactly what she wanted…what her body demanded. As she rolled her fingertips over Cait’s swollen clit, the woman beneath her cried out, taking her bottom lip between her teeth.
Harper leaned down, her forehead resting against Cait’s. “You want more?”
Cait nodded shyly, a blush forcing its way across her cheeks.
Harper braced herself on her forearm, capturing Cait’s lips as she pushed one finger inside, only to slip out and add a second. Fuck, it felt good. It felt better than good. It felt…exquisite.
Breaking Routine Page 17