“That’s not—”
“How often did we settle down at night together and hold one another on the couch? Hand in hand. Laughing. You playing with my hair, me stroking your skin?”
“I, uh…”
“Never. You were always too busy talking with friends on the phone or updating your social media or doing anything to avoid being alone with me.”
“Harper, that’s not true. I loved you. I still do.”
“But I’ve met someone now who does those things. She doesn’t want every second of my attention so she can harp on about her day. But even if she did, I’d sit and listen because she has a beautiful voice. She has one hell of a smile. And she makes me smile. We share dinner together almost every night. We wake up with one another, and there’s no rush. And you know when I take a bath, but she’s not finished work quite in time to join me? She pops into the bathroom with a warm towel for me. Fresh clothes. She asks if I’d like a hot chocolate, she asks if I’ve had a good day, and she wants to talk about my job.”
“Who is she?”
“She’s the woman I have a feeling I’m going to spend forever with. And you coming here is not going to ruin that for me.”
“Harper…”
“I should get back inside. I have guests to entertain.” Harper threw her thumb over her shoulder, shaking her head. “I’m sorry you drove all the way here.”
“I love you, Harper.”
Harper blew out a deep breath, aware that what she was about to say would change everything inside of her. There was no going back after this. “Yeah, well, I love Cait. I love her like I didn’t know it was possible to love. And it may only be early days, but I hope that one day, she will love me just as much. Because it’s all I think about. When I wake up, when I sit down to eat, when I’m out walking around this beautiful town. I think about the moment when she tells me she loves me…and I pray that that day will actually arrive.”
“Cait? The frumpy one from the B&B?”
Harper frowned. How dare Callie say that. “Excuse me?”
“Yeah, she looks like the real life and soul of the party.” Callie snorted.
“She’s the life and soul of my party. She’s the woman responsible for the constant bliss I feel. And you know what? She’s more loyal and trustworthy than you could ever claim to be.”
“You’ve really downgraded, Harper. I feel bad for you.”
“Oh, don’t. Don’t, for one second, feel bad. I’m living the dream here without you. So thanks for fucking Ruby behind my back. It was the best thing you ever could have done for me. I owe you.”
“So that’s it?”
“That’s it. You’re going to go home, and I’m going to go back inside to spend the rest of this beautiful evening with the woman I love.”
“Wow.”
As Harper turned to head back inside, leaving Callie standing on the drive, a body came from the shadow to the side of the house. Harper’s eyes widened. “C-Cait?” Harper’s voice was elevated, sheer panic tearing through her. Cait was never supposed to know that Callie had been here.
Cait said nothing. She simply stepped forward, tugged Harper’s hand, and dragged her back into the darkness.
“Babe, what’s going on?”
“Callie was here.” Cait pressed her body to Harper’s, pinning her against the outside wall.
Harper could make out Cait’s features, but she had no idea what she’d heard. “She was. But she’s leaving now.”
“And you told her you love me.”
“You heard that?” Harper’s shoulders slumped. “I’m sorry. It shouldn’t have happened like that. And she, of all people, shouldn’t have been the first to hear it.”
Cait leaned in, crushing her lips against Harper’s. It was needy but filled with passion. It was desperate yet soft. Cait had a way of firing up Harper’s body, but tonight was different. Tonight was everything and more. No holding back. No hesitation. Cait was kissing Harper as though her life depended on it.
When she pulled back, her thumb feathering across Harper’s bottom lip, Cait smiled with tears in her eyes. “Did you mean it?”
“That I love you?” Harper asked, her heart rate through the roof from the most incredible kiss of her life. “Of course I meant it. And I know it’s probably not what you want to hear, maybe it’s far too soon for you, but I really do, Cait.”
Cait leaned in again, capturing Harper’s lips slowly this time. And then she smiled against Harper’s mouth. “I love you, too.”
Whoa! What? Harper’s mouth dried, her palms clammy as she held Cait’s hips against her own. “Y-you do?”
“I do.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
“Christ, that was intense.” Harper shook her head as she checked her puffy eyes in the bathroom mirror. Cait hiding as she spoke with Callie should have unnerved her more than it initially had, the declaration of love should have terrified her, but it didn’t. It couldn’t possibly. Because for the first time since she moved to the town, Harper felt complete. She didn’t feel homesick or wonder what could have been if she’d stayed. No, she felt as though she was in the right place. A place she would remain in for the rest of her life…with Cait.
Harper steadied her nerves, blowing out a deep breath as she placed her hand on the door. She’d been stupid to even entertain Callie for a second, but Harper was, in some ways, glad that she’d shown up. There really was nothing else to say to one another now. Harper had given her both barrels, and that was that. But then Harper was reminded of the insult Callie had hurled towards Cait. Did she know that Cait was close by and listening? Did she just choose to insult her for no good reason?
Harper seethed. How dare anyone talk about Cait that way!
A knock on the door jolted Harper, her hand instantly turning the handle. “Sorry.”
Cait’s mum stood in front of Harper, slight concern etched on her face. “Harper, is everything okay?”
“Oh, yeah.” She lowered her eyes. Carol didn’t need to see how swollen and red they were.
“Then why are you up here crying while my Caitlin is downstairs with a smile beaming from ear-to-ear?”
Was she? That instantly lifted Harper’s mood.
Harper loved hearing Carol call Cait by her full name. It made everything feel all the more personal.
“I was just…having a moment.” Harper couldn’t offer any more than that. She also didn’t understand why she was hiding in the bathroom. “But I’m fine.”
“Has something happened? You seem upset, lovely.” Carol placed a soothing arm on Harper’s shoulder. “If you needed to talk…”
“I just messed up a little while ago,” Harper explained, wringing her hands in front of her. “But I think Cait is okay, so I really shouldn’t worry so much.”
Carol quirked an eyebrow. She looked like Cait when she did. “Messed up?”
“My ex showed up just before. I haven’t seen her since early January.”
“Right. Okay.” Carol lowered her hand from Harper’s shoulder, clearly wary of what else could possibly come from Harper’s mouth. “Your ex…”
“Don’t worry. I’d never do anything to hurt Cait.” Harper focused fully on Carol. She had to know that Harper was a good person. “And I didn’t know that Cait was listening in when we were talking…”
“Well, Caitlin seems happy enough, so I trust that you haven’t upset her.”
“I told my ex that I’m in love with Cait,” Harper paused, failing to gauge Carol’s reaction to that piece of information. “Because I am. Very in love with her.”
Carol guided Harper back into the bathroom, sitting her down on the edge of the tub. “Sweetheart, I don’t know what the problem is here. You love my daughter. I’d say that’s wonderful.”
“But Cait shouldn’t have heard it like that. She means more to me than overhearing those words while I’m having a conversation with someone else. And my ex? That just makes it even worse.”
“I’m sure Caitli
n is perfectly fine. But she won’t be if she sees how upset you are, so why don’t we get you tidied up, and then you can head back downstairs. I know she’ll be looking for you.”
“Thanks for being so nice.” Harper smiled weakly.
“Oh, I’m not just being nice. I like you, and my daughter is besotted with you.”
Harper’s chest ached. Cait…was everything.
“And this evening has been wonderful.”
“I’m really happy you could make it. Cait was worried that you wouldn’t, so it’s nice to see her with a smile on her face.”
“I should make more time for her. But she’s always so bloody busy with that B&B. Jude is borderline useless in most things, so Cait spends her life being the best she can be.”
“Jude has actually stepped up and taken on quite a role at the B&B. You’d be impressed.”
“I’m glad to hear that. It’s about time. I don’t know how many times I’ve told him that his sister needs him. She can’t be expected to run that place every second of the day. She needs a break.”
“Don’t worry; she gets one.” And it was true. If Cait had been working all day, Harper welcomed her with open arms, a hot bath, and snacks. What more could anyone want after being on their feet all day? “I’ll look after her, Carol.”
Carol smiled, shaking her head. “God, I bet she thought it was Christmas when you walked into her life.”
Harper could only shrug, aware that a blush was spreading fast across her cheeks. “Maybe. I don’t know.”
“I do. She called me last week to say she was dating. That call lasted an hour.”
“Wow. She must have had a lot to catch up on with you.”
“No, sweetheart. She only spoke about you.”
Harper got to her feet, no longer worried about the slip-up earlier. Cait wasn’t the kind of woman who held a grudge or took offence to things. Cait was just…well, Cait. “I should get back downstairs then, shouldn’t I?”
“You should.” Carol nodded, stepping out of the way and allowing Harper to leave the bathroom. “And Harper?”
“Yeah?” Harper turned on her heel, a beaming smile now on her face.
“Thank you.”
She frowned. “For what?”
“Finding my Caitlin.”
Cait braced herself against the dining table, belly laughing as Harper’s Uncle Frank downed another shot of tequila. She hadn’t realised beer pong could be so much fun, nor did she realise just the alcohol contents involved. Autumn had decided to jazz it up a bit, exchanging cider for shots. Honestly, Uncle Frank would probably hit the deck after the next one.
“Come on, Cait.” Autumn wrapped an arm around Cait’s waist, leaning towards her ear. “I know you’re tipsy, but I need you to concentrate now. This is the end. Loser has to down whatever is left.”
That thought alone had Cait’s stomach rolling. No way could she mix the lot and drink it.
“I think I just remembered something I have to do…” Cait pulled away from the table, only to be dragged back by Autumn.
“Oh, no. You have the better shot out of the two of us. And I really need you to get this right.”
“Autumn, I can’t even see in a straight line. You’ve got no chance.”
Autumn held up her hands, calling for a time-out. She dragged Cait away from the table, huddled as though she was about to give away the secrets of everyone in the room. “Look, I know my best friend loves you, but if I end up getting her girlfriend hammered, it won’t end well for either of us.”
“So, admit defeat and I don’t know…accidentally knock the table until the drinks fall over. No drinks, nothing to drink. See, I’m not completely useless.”
Cait didn’t want to be here anymore. No, she wanted to be with Harper…
“This could all be over in the next ten seconds and then you can find your woman and do God knows what’s going on in your mind.”
“Fine.” Cait would take her final turn, and then she was gone.
As she approached the table, Tom from the B&B walked shyly through the living room. Harper had insisted she invite Tom and Jude, but Jude had chosen to send Tom over rather than neither of them. “Thomas! Get your backside here!” Cait yelled above the noise of Harper’s friends and family. “Your boss needs you!”
Tom rushed to Cait’s side, frowning. “Oh, my God! Are you drunk? This is amazing.”
“I’m not drunk. Don’t be ridiculous. I’ve had what? Two—”
“Five shots.” Autumn cut in holding out her hand. “And you are?”
“Cait’s breakfast guy. Tom. Nice to meet you.”
“Autumn. Harper’s best friend and assassin when needed.” She studied Tom, narrowing her eyes. “You look like you play beer pong.”
“I do. Well, when my friends will actually agree to the challenge. I have been known to avoid a single shot in a game.”
“Cait, go and find Harper. Do your…lesbianing. Tom can take over.”
Cait’s eyebrows shot up with surprise. “Lesbianing?”
“Whatever it is you two get up to when nobody is around.” Autumn rolled her eyes, shooing Cait away. “Harper went upstairs a while ago.”
“She did?”
Autumn nodded, turning her back and clearly done with this conversation. Cait’s mind wandered to Harper and her whereabouts, her eyes taking in the room with no sign of her girlfriend. As Cait moved through the group who had congregated around the fireplace, Harper appeared with Cait’s mum beside her.
“Oh, no. What’s going on?” Cait muttered, putting her best fake smile on. “Everything okay with you two?”
“Sure, babe. I was just chatting with your mum.”
“Um…where?”
“Well, I was in the bathroom. We bumped into one another as I was coming out.”
Cait narrowed her eyes. “Really?”
“Caitlin, I think we should wind this party down now. I’m sure you and Harper would like a few hours together.”
Cait could really get on board with that. She eyed Harper, lifting a brow. “What do you think?”
“I think I like the sound of that,” Harper said, stepping forward and taking Cait’s hand. “I wanted to talk to you, if that’s okay?”
“Let’s get everyone out of here.”
Cait cleared away the last of the glasses on the kitchen counter, putting the dishwasher on its final cycle of the night. Anything remaining could be tackled in the morning; right now, she wanted to settle down with Harper. Autumn had gone back to the B&B with Harper’s relatives, and Cait’s mum had headed home as the last of the gang made their way up the hill.
The quietness was a stark contrast to just thirty minutes ago when everyone was still here, but Cait had truly enjoyed herself. If she pushed the fact that Harper wanted to talk to the back of her mind, the rest of this night would surely be just as wonderful.
Cait glanced over her shoulder. Harper was clearing away the living room. The couches were back in their usual position, the coffee table had been brought back down from upstairs, and with a quick hoover of the carpet, it was hard to believe anyone else had been here.
“Need a hand in there, babe?” Harper called out, her back to Cait.
“No, I’m done. I’ll be in now. Did you want coffee?”
Harper turned as Cait dried her hands on a tea towel. “I’d love coffee if you’re making some.”
“It’s ready.” Cait quickly poured two cups and moved into the living room. The distance between them was too great for her liking; she wanted to be closer. “Sit down for five. The rest can wait until the morning.”
“You’re right.” Harper blew out a breath, flopping onto the couch. “God, I’m shattered now.”
They got comfortable beside one another, the silence in the room broken by the crackle of the fire. “You said you wanted to talk to me?”
Cait gripped her coffee cup tighter, wondering what the hell Harper could possibly have to say. As far as Cait was concerned, there was
nothing to talk about. The evening had been a success, words had been spoken unexpectedly, but overall Cait had felt good. Really good, actually.
“About before…” Harper paused, lifting her coffee cup and sipping.
Cait waited for a response, but nothing came. Harper just stared off into the fire.
“Look,” Cait started, “I know everything was said in the heat of the moment. Callie was there, you didn’t expect it, and it’s really okay that it was said as some kind of defence mechanism. It doesn’t change how I feel or what I said, but I really don’t want you to tell me something so important if you don’t mean it. I can live with this how it is until you do mean it. If that day ever arrives.”
Harper’s forehead creased as she turned to face Cait. “I did mean it. I meant every word of it.”
“Har—”
“No, Cait.” Harper gripped Cait’s hand, moving closer as she took Cait’s coffee from her. “I did mean it. I love you.”
Cait’s belly swirled with a million and one emotions. “Then why the hesitation?”
“I just…I really hate how you heard it. And I can’t take it back for a do-over, but I want you to know that I’m so sorry you heard those words while I was arguing with her. It was never supposed to be that way.”
“Really, it’s okay.”
“Not to me it isn’t.” Harper clenched her jaw, visibly angry about what she had done. But Cait meant it when she told Harper it didn’t matter. What mattered to Cait was whether Harper was still repeating those words a year down the line. Maybe ten. “She always has to ruin everything. And those things she said about you…God, I wanted to kill her.”
“Those things she said about me were said out of jealousy, we all know that.” Cait rolled her eyes. “I may be some things, but frumpy is not one of them. And if Callie wants to try her hand at insulting me again, I’ll show her just who I am.”
“Oh yeah?” Harper grinned, her eyes darkening.
“Get your mind out of the gutter!”
“You’re not frumpy. And I haven’t downgraded.” Harper cupped Cait’s face with both hands, her soft smile lulling Cait into a world of her own. “You’ve made me so happy, Cait. Don’t ever change.”
Breaking Routine Page 23