by J. C. Allen
For my brother.
For Eve.
For Roost.
As I made it to the exit, I slid onto the side streets, pulling out the small Bluetooth device Roost had gotten me and decided to call him back. I realized with some horror that I had been brooding for nearly an hour, undoubtedly causing some serious stress for everyone. Not gonna do much good to have everyone involved when your only contribution is scaring everyone.
And this phone call was to set things right on that.
“Ya gonna hang up on me again, asshole?” Roost bellowed. “And where the fuck are you? I called Eve and she said ya still ain’t home!”
“Sorry, Roost,” I said. “You were right. I am an asshole. I just—”
“Well then,” Roost said, snorting. “Sounds like someone had themselves a revelation.”
“Yeah, yeah, shut it. And I’m about to be home, I hope you didn’t worry Eve too much.”
“Don’t get yerself in a tissy, I told her you had one more stop and was just seeing if ya had gotten in touch with her yet.”
“She’ll see right through that.”
“Well, better go make things right.”
“Yes, of course,” I said with a little more sarcasm than I meant to—sarcasm that wasn’t great for the context of our call.
“Fuck you! Ya got me worried, Derek. Sorry,” Roost said. “Ya know, yer father and I were close too… all this business with Frank, well, it bugs me too, ya know.”
“I know, Roost,” I said. “And I’m sorry for not including you more. That ends now, I promise. Between Eve, Tara, you, and the rest of the Saviors. We’ll take Falcon and his Black Falcons out together.”
I gave a heavy sigh that was matched by Roost. On the same page. Finally.
“Sounds like ya got yer shit together,” Roost said. “Good drive?”
“You could say that,” I said. “Anyway, I’m pulling in now. I just wanted to call… and well, apologize.”
“Well, consider yerself forgiven,” Roost said. “For this time. Don’t do it again!”
“Alright, alright!” I said, laughing. “I won’t, I promise.”
“Good, have a good night, Derek.”
“You too, Roost,” I said before hanging up the Bluetooth device.
I quickly parked the bike and moved through the lobby, hoping Roost hadn’t worried Eve too much. Luckily, the elevator didn’t take too long and I was home within a few seconds. Of course, a few seconds was enough time to assume that Eve would be in some sort of justified panic or sweat, so I mentally prepared myself to calm her down as needed.
As the doors opened, I saw Eve pacing with her phone to her ear, obviously talking to someone.
“I don’t know, Tara,” she said. “Should I call him? Maybe I’m being paranoid, right?”
She paused and I watched as she listened to Tara’s response. Whatever she was saying seemed to be helping, and while I was glad that it was helping, this wasn’t Tara’s job right now. This was my fuck-up and I had to be the one to help.
As the elevator doors closed, Eve jumped, glancing over and saw me standing there. I gave her a comforting smile that faded a touch when it wasn’t reciprocated immediately.
“Actually, Tara, he just got in,” she said. “I’ll call you back later, OK?”
There was a quick pause at Tara’s reply, and I watched as Eve smirked at me. It was funny how such little things mattered so much in moments like these.
“Yeah, I’ll make sure he gets the memo, thanks, Tara,” she said, pausing. “You too, have a good night.”
As she hung up the phone and moved to step over towards me, I lifted my hands in defeat. She stopped, raising an eyebrow as she waited for me to speak up. I took a deep breath, running my hand through my hair wondering where exactly to begin. I didn’t think any of my options were all that great, but something as simple as what had just happened seemed… eh, good enough.
“I take it Tara had some choice words for me?” I said.
“Something like that,” she shrugged, her eyes narrowing at me.
Yeah, that ain’t gonna work. You’re going to have to get right to the truth.
“Alright, fair enough,” I said, my shoulders slumping. “I’m sorry for worrying you, Eve. Roost said he called and I… I figured you wouldn’t believe what he said.”
“Not for one instant,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest. “What happened, Derek? You better tell me everything.”
Yeah, absolutely no fucking fooling her or hiding anything. You better tell her everything, Derek.
“You know I went out on patrol to see if we could find the clue or stop the murders before they happened,” I said, to which she nodded. “I found an area with a subway and a couple other areas. Well, right before I got there, Roost called me and it was a bit of a feisty call, let’s say. Though ours tend to usually be.”
If I was expecting a joke or a laugh from her, I got none. I continued.
“At one point, he asked me if I knew how my father died. Turns out, I didn’t know the whole story. He got curbstomped to death by Falcon.”
“Jesus.”
“Yeah. Not fun to learn. But it made the point. If I saw Falcon and I was by myself, I was under strict orders to run. I promised Roost that if I saw him, I would. So. I knew that the subway was where my father had died and, though Roost and I never discussed it, it wouldn’t have surprised me if that’s where Dustin was killed too. In any case, the only good news of this story is that there were no Black Falcons down there.”
I paused to gather myself and make sure I told the next bit in as stoic a mindset as possible. I wasn’t feeling great about my chances of doing so, but at least trying would mitigate it some.
“However, I did find Grizzly and Greg murdered, mutilated, damaged beyond all but the smallest of identifying signs. And… well, the Black Falcons took their blood and smeared it on the wall as a warning sign.”
“Seriously?”
I nodded. Eve silently mouthed “wow.” It felt appropriate that words failed us both there.
“It got to me. I almost broke. I almost yelled, hoping for some Black Falcons to come. Luckily, I had just an ounce of strength to not say anything and called Roost to vent. He told me to start coming home, so I did, but I nearly broke. I had to pull to the side of the road… basically to gather myself. It was a severe moment of weakness, and I’m sorry I didn’t communicate better with you on that. But… that’s why I’m here so late. Nothing bad happened to me. Our club suffered a bad blow, though. A heavy moral one.”
I could see from the tightness in her lips that she wasn’t happy with the situation at all and I was relieved to see that the look had calmed since I told her about my revelation, about not doing this alone any longer.
“I can say this, though, Eve,” I said. “I promise next time, I’ll communicate better with you. I know it can be scary not knowing if I’m alive. I’m not going to put you in that spot again.”
“You promise?” she said. “Promise you won’t do this bullshit again?”
“I promise,” I said, glancing down at my feet. “I was being stupid.”
“Yeah, you really were. Real fucking stupid.”
I nodded slowly, realizing how upset Eve was. I hated that I’d done this to her, hated that my stupidity had effected both Eve and Roost like this. I ran my hand through my hair, glancing back at her. Her own shoulders had slumped as she sat at the dining room table, moving her hands to her thick, curly hair.
“I was really worried, Derek,” she whispered. “I didn’t know where you were. What was I supposed to think?
“I’m so sorry, Eve,” I said, moving to sit beside her. “I didn’t want to worry you this much.”
She put her hand on my knee, gave a gentle squeeze, and let out a long sigh.
“You can be such an idiot,” she whispered.
“I know,” I agreed, wrapping my arms around her and holding her against me. “Anything I can do to make it up?”
She looked up at me and gave a nice smirk.
“Order pizza?” she asked. “I’m starving.”
“Yeah, that Medieval Times food was good, but definitely not very filling, huh?” I said, smiling, relieved to have released some of the tension.
She nodded, burrowing her face against my chest. I held her tight, taking out my phone as I did and made a quick order for food. The entire time I held her against me, needing her as much as she needed me then. I kissed her forehead, wondering just what else I could do to help her, even though everything I thought of seemed inconsequential, ineffective, or unnecessary.
“Is there anything else I can do?” I offered.
Eve hummed for a bit as she thought, and then she smiled as she looked at me.
“Not sure you’ll like it, but there’s someone I haven’t seen in a while,” she said. “Can we… can we invite Tara over for dinner?”
“Right now?” I asked, tilting my head.
“Yeah, right now,” she nodded. “She isn’t working and I want to see her.”
Well, I just wanted it to be us tonight.
But then again, strength in numbers, right? And you already had your date night with Eve. It’ll make her happier and it’ll give her a sense of being outside of us.
“Alright, why don’t you call her?” I said, smiling warmly. “Let her read me the riot act in person, right?”
“The riot act you deserve, you mean?” she said with a smirk. “And in that case, if we’re going to club up on you, why don’t you invite Roost too? They both can team up on you.”
“You manipulative little… ,” I said, grinning.
“Witch?” she offered, seeming to find something funnier than I understood.
“Huh?”
“Never mind, you wouldn’t get it,” she said, standing up.
“Hey! Not if you don’t let me!” I called back as she began to head to the other room.
“Give Roost a call!”
“Alright, fine!” I pouted, grabbing my phone and making the call.
I was kind of looking forward to this in a strange way, even though I knew I was about to get my ass kicked. It wasn’t so much that—no, it definitely wasn’t that—as it was that we’d have the four of us together for what felt like… actually, it might have been one of the first times. Eve or I always had a habit of being out, Tara was off doing her prostitution thing, and Roost was doing shop stuff. It would be nice to have an evening with just the four of us, not worried about work.
“Ya need me to tell ya how to use yer dick?” Roost said when he answered, sounding like he was in the process of trying to sleep.
“Please, like I need help with that,” I shot back. “We’re having pizza here. Eve’s inviting Tara. She wants you to come too.”
“Aww, ain’t that sweet,” Roost said without a hint of sarcasm. “Hell, I was ‘bout to snore off, but ya won my heart.”
“With company?”
“With pizza, ya fool,” Roost said with a laugh. “Plus, I get a chance to yell at yer sorry ass. See ya in a few!”
“You—”
But he had hung up before I could talk back.
I went to the couch and laid out, trying to decompress from everything that I had just experienced. It would take Roost and Tara probably fifteen, maybe twenty minutes depending on Tara’s need to get prepped, before they got over here. That left at least fifteen minutes of brooding.
I had to expect that there was going to be carnage and violence like this. The Falcons had no ethics, which meant to them, there was no distinction between a clean and a gruesome kill—no, that wasn’t right. They preferred the gruesome over the clean.
I couldn’t allow that to effect me. I almost…
I almost had to become insensitive, in the literal sense, to the violence and bloodshed about to take place.
Could I do that, though, and maintain a healthy relationship with Eve? With Roost? With the rest of my crew? Would they sense that I was becoming like a Black Falcon in order to fight the Black Falcons?
Was this why my Dad never wanted us to stoop so low as to be like them—because if we did, even if we beat them, we’d just replace them?
My phone rang a few seconds later, mercifully pulling me out of my nightmarish self-doubts.
“Derek, it’s Clarence. It’s your lucky hour. Pizza’s here.”
After I had collected the pizza, I gave it some thought to waiting for Roost and Tara before deciding that wasn’t worth the wait. I pulled open the box, smelling the fresh cheese and pepperoni waffling into my nostrils. Eve came running out, closing the box on me.
“Be polite,” she said, in an almost sweet, motherly way.
“Yeah, because Roost would wait for me,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“Then be polite for Tara.”
“You mean the one that probably wants to hit me in the nuts for not being Superman for you?”
“Then be polite for me,” she said, moving away from the pizza, an evil yet effective move that prevented me from touching that pizza.
“Ya ain’t waitin’ long, boy,” Roost said from behind the elevator doors that opened as he began to speak. “Ahh, perfecto. Came right when the main dish arrives!”
“Yeah, we gettin’ first dibs on this after your little stunts, pretty boy,” Tara said, coming right behind him.
“Aww, what the fuck,” I said, even as I acquiesced and let them go by.
Roost started to say something about how it was generous of me to treat him before he laid two slices on top of each other and began devouring his pizza. Tara did the same, albeit with only one slice.
Over the next ten minutes, as we munched through pizza, Roost and Tara took turns mocking me and calling me a fool. While there was an element of seriousness in it, by the time a minute had passed, it had become more of a roast—it was hard to take critiques seriously when everyone had to stop every ten seconds to take a bite of the pizza before it went cold.
Finally, Tara said, “Now, if y’all will excuse me, homegirl and I are gonna catch up on the couch,” leaving Roost and I as the two girls moved to the side. I didn’t mean to show some disappointment to see Eve so far away, but Roost picked up on it and gave a loud chuckle.
“Aw, don’t sulk so much, Derek,” Roost said, patting me on the back. “She’ll come back. She ain’t movin’ to Canada.”
“Goddamn, Roost,” I said, rubbing my back. “How many times do I have to say that hurts?”
“Well, ya fuckin’ deserve it this time,” he said, shrugging. “But seriously though. Now that those two be over there… whatcha been thinkin’? ‘Bout tonight?”
Guess the roast is over.
“I’m thinking we need to figure out what the other two messages are going to be… and, in case it wasn’t clear, I’m thinking I shouldn’t go to those on my own. I know we had multiple scouts, but we should’ve had multiple scouts for a single group.”
“Good thinkin’, finally,” Roost agreed. “We can talk to the guys tomorrow and work things out. See who is free to join ya.”
If he’s assigning others…
“You aren’t going to?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
“I feel these are only leadin’ to somethin’,” Roost said, patting his large stomach. “I gotta reserve all the energy I can fer those things.”
Oh, well then.
“Really?” I rolled my eyes. “Wouldn’t want to lose any of that weight putting in some effort now, would we? Goddamn Roost becoming a fat old cock!”
“Fuckin’ a,” he said, laughing at that joke. “Fat and proud, mothafucka. ‘Sides, tons of gays into the bears!”
“Bears?” I asked and then shook my head. “Never mind, I don’t wanna know.”
“Big, bearded, and gay,” Roost answered anyway.
“That’s a thing?” I asked, blinking.
“Yeh, Derek, that’s a thing,” he said, smirking. “I’mma teach ya feeble mind a whole lot more befo—”
&nb
sp; “What are we talking about?” Tara said, interrupting the conversation from her vantage point on the couch.
“I was just teachin’ this boy about gay verbiage,” Roost said, patting me on the back again and throwing me into a coughing fit. “Bears, specifically.”
“What? Ya don’t know what a bear is?” Tara said, laughing. “Big, hairy, and gay, right?”
“Close enough,” Roost shrugged.
Eve smiled, her eyes twinkling in amusement at everyone’s taunting at me. I knew I deserved it and I couldn’t help but smile back at her. I couldn’t deny that it was nice to be with everyone like this.
Tara, the girl who staunchly and loudly stood up for everything she loved and defended, someone who sometimes put on a front of distrusting me but ultimately gave me her full support.
Roost, the man who was both my brother and a stepfather of sorts.
And Eve, the girl of my dreams, the one who had rescued me from my waking nightmare and reminded me what it felt like to be human again.
It felt…
It felt like we were a family.
It felt like we were the family that I hadn’t had in years.
Nothing could replace my real family, obviously, and they were never coming back, no matter how often visions or dreams—which, I realized, I hadn’t had in some time—had come to me.
But damn if these three didn’t do a damn good job of reproducing many of the same feelings.
I smiled, leaning back on the couch as I watched the others talk, wondering what my father would’ve thought of Eve. I knew my parents had loved Anne, although I remembered a few times when my father had asked if I thought she was really the one. My father had loved and accepted Anne, but had worried about the differences in our lifestyles.
Glancing over at Eve, I thought that he would’ve adored Eve. I’m sure he would have said something about coming from the Black Falcons, but at the end of the day, he would have recognized her character. He would have valued her.
I frowned, wishing that they could’ve met Eve, wishing they were still here.
“Derek? You okay over there?” Eve asked.
I shook my head, not realizing I had withdrawn again into my own little world.
“I’m okay,” I said, shaking my head. “Just thinking about my parents, that’s all.”